Loose Ends
by MaxCale
Summary: "I'm done putting myself in these situations and feeling like this. It always seems to be because I forgave and then continued trusting someone close to me. Maybe it's time to really think about who my friends and enemies are and get rid of the drama in my life,"
1. Enough

"I didn't say I wasn't gonna have sex with other girls. You said I'd have to quit having sex with other girls if I wanna have sex with **you**. Maybe I don't wanna have sex with you, no offense. You know maybe I'm just not…ready to be in an…exclusive relationship with you. I-I didn't say I was ready to do that, just **be** with you." *sighs* Amy sighed as well and looked away for a moment to try and hide the hurt and disappointment in her eyes, but she wasn't quick enough. Suddenly an expression came to mind: hope for the best, plan for the worst.

"_Screw that. I'm tired of always feeling like an idiot when the other shoe drops,"_ she thought to herself as irritation flashed across her face. _"I'm done putting myself in these situations and feeling like this. It always seems to be because I forgave and then continued trusting someone close to me. Maybe it's time to really think about who my friends and enemies are and get rid of the drama in my life,"_ she thought, as a contemplative look came over her face_._

"What"

"What?"

"**What?" **Ricky said again, with more irritation this time. Amy just looked at him confused. Even though she knew she was emotional, cried easily and couldn't lie to save her life, Ricky was grateful that Amy's face was an open book, not that he had any plans to tell her that. He watched as hurt and disappointment appeared in her eyes before she turned away and then saw a mixture of anger and irritation in her facial profile before she got lost in thought. He didn't know what had gone through her mind to cause this rapid succession of emotions but they needed to finish this conversation so he could go home and get some sleep.

"It was all over your face, Amy. You're mad at me and now something else is on your mind. Could you just tell me what it is so I can go? It's late and I have work in the morning."

"It's nothing that's gonna be resolved tonight." She turned towards the counter and began putting the sandwich fixings away before looking back over her shoulder at him and adding "and I'm not mad at you." Ricky raised his eyebrow at her letting her know he wasn't buying it but he just wasn't in the mood for this tonight.

He decided to help her finish cleaning up. After working together silently for a few minutes Amy headed towards the living room and got comfortable on the couch. Ricky was at the sink and turned to tell her goodnight and saw she wasn't in the kitchen anymore. He found her sitting on the couch, arms crossed, lost in thought, again. He stood there a good two minutes just looking at her, trying to figure out what she thinking but he couldn't read her expression. Suddenly feeling a little like a creeper he spoke up.

"I'm gonna go. See you tomorrow, Amy."

"There's no need. I came home early. I'll be fine on the couch. Good night." Ricky knew something was seriously off because her voice was monotone, her expression never changed, and she didn't even bother to look at him.

Ricky had a sick feeling in his gut that all hell was gonna break lose in the morning so he decided to stay, knowing he'd feel better being here in the morning to deal with it right away instead of putting it off. As he climbed into Amy's bed he drifted off to sleep with disturbing thoughts. Amy had something on her mind and for once wasn't giving him any clues as to what was going on. He didn't know if it was because of the conversation they had started in the kitchen and honestly who were they kidding, there was no way that conversation was over, but Ricky knew drama was headed his way because he got the distinct impression that Amy had had enough. Of what he wasn't sure but when she finally came out with it, the fallout wasn't going to be pretty.


	2. Getting the Ball Rolling

Amy sat on the couch, arms crossed, deep in thought.

_Why am I always so unprepared when the other shoe drops? That doubting voice in my head told me that weekend in New York was too good but to be true but I didn't wanna believe it. That voice also told me Ben had cheated on me and I was still hurt and angry when it turned out to be true. I guess that doubting voice can see the truth when I can't, or don't want to. Why do I keep forgiving and trusting people who can't be honest with me? Ricky said he liked me, dad said he loved me, Ben said he'd always be there, Lauren and Madison said they didn't tell anyone about my pregnancy, Ashley said she had my back, Adrian said she wanted to be friends…_

Suddenly a light bulb came on. Amy had two problems. The first was that she simply lacked the ability to see through people's lies until their actions showed her the truth; that's why she was always so unprepared when the truth hit her in the face. The second was that it was simply a part of her nature to try to see the best in people and not cause other people pain. It was time to put her guard up with everyone in her life until she weeded out those who honestly don't care about her and her wellbeing from those that do.

_How on Earth am I supposed to tell the good guys from the bad ones since I can't read people? Well the only way to get to the bottom of things I guess is to ask questions until I get the answers I need to make that decision. But what exactly do I need to know to tell my friends from my enemies?_

She mentally went through all of her friends and frienemies, everything she had been through with her family, friends, and new acquaintances since band camp and got up to a get a piece of paper and a pencil to make a list. She made three columns and put a single letter at the top of each: "F" for friends, "E" for enemies, and "A" for allies. She quickly put Adrian and Ben's names in the enemy columns and Grace and Jack's names in the allies column but then drew a mental blank. Her dad and Ashley had always sort of been against her and her mom but were they actually her enemies? She and Ricky had never had a romantic relationship and since New York was a fluke he wasn't exactly a friend, but putting the name of her son's father in the ally column just didn't seem right either. Maybe it was too soon to start putting people in categories. _I need to know how they really feel about me first_. Instead she turned the piece of paper over and wrote down the name of every person who was or had been a part of or entangled in her and John's lives. After writing down all the names Amy was surprised to see that quite a few parents of her "friends" were included and spent time thinking about whom on the list to question first. It wasn't until close to 3 AM that Amy's plan had been finalized. She needed to start at the beginning of the drama and figure out how it had unfolded, so to speak, because that was the only way to figure out how certain people had become entangled in and/or a part of the drama that was now her life. These were going to be very personal, painful, emotional interviews but she needed to truth, and all of it. Some interviews would be shorter than others so she would start with those first. Amy gave herself three rules to follow as she carried out her knowledge quest:

1) Remain respectful but guarded throughout each interview

2) Speak to no one about what she was doing until it was their turn to be interviewed, even once word started to get out, and she knew it would

3) If an interview revealed that person was an enemy, sever all ties with them and shut them out of her life immediately, if possible.

It was going to be a long summer.


	3. What's Up Doc?

Thanks to jetlag Amy's internal clock was a little off so she was still awake at 7:30 when Ricky got up with John. Hearing him in the kitchen Amy went upstairs to shower and get dressed. She came downstairs in record time, a little anxious to begin her "quest." John, being his usual sunny self, smiled when he saw her. "Mama!" Amy couldn't help but smile as she walked over to him in his high chair and kissed the top of his head.

"Good morning sweetheart." John smiled and then continued playing with his breakfast. She turned towards Ricky with a smile that didn't reach her eyes and said good morning before making herself some toast. Ricky was instantly on full alert, prepared for the fight that was about to ensue about his sleeping around, but it didn't come. He tensely made himself some scrambled eggs and toast while Amy cut up fruit to go with hers. They sat at the kitchen table in silence while John gurgled happily. Half way through their meals Ricky was ready to get it over with.

"Are we gonna finish our conversation?"

"About what?"

"About me sleeping around."

"No."

"No?"

"No." She finished eating and Ricky stared at her in disbelief.

"Do you want me to take John to the nursery today for you?" he asked, since she obviously wasn't ready to talk.

"Yes, thank you. I'll pick him up tonight." She loaded her dishes into the dishwasher and then picked up the phone and dialed a number. Ricky watched her as he finished his breakfast, curious as to why she was making a call from the house phone instead of her cell.

"Hello, is Dr. Treacy available?" Ricky froze. Why was she calling a doctor? _Is Amy alright?_

"Amy?" Lauren responded confused. "Why are you looking for my mom? And why would you ask for her like that?"

"If she's not available I can call back later," Amy replied, not answering Lauren's questions. Ricky was still worried. _Why isn't the doctor there? What if there's something seriously wrong with Amy?!_

"She's here. Hang on. Mom!" Lauren's mother came to the phone moments later. "Hello?"

"Hello Dr. Treacy, this is Amy Jeurgens."

"Hello Amy. What can I do for you?" She didn't know why Amy was addressing her so formally and that alone piqued her interest.

"I need to have a rather personal discussion with. Do you have any time available today so that I can come by to talk to you?" Ricky was now very concerned. He knew 'personal' was probably code for 'lady problem'.

"If you'd be more comfortable coming here instead of my office then I will be home for the next two hours."

"Thank you. I will be at your home shortly." Amy hung up the phone and went to her room to get her purse. As she was about to leave the kitchen Ricky stopped her.

"Is everything okay Amy?" he asked with genuine concern in his eyes and voice.

"It will be," she replied, continuing up the stairs. Ricky checked his watch and saw that he needed to finish getting John ready and head to work. It was going to be a long day and it hadn't even started yet.

Lauren was around the corner from the kitchen shamelessly eavesdropping on her mother's phone call. _Why is Amy calling my mom? Does she want a therapy session or something?_ Lauren's mother hung up the phone with a confused expression. She didn't know why Amy wanted a therapy session from **her** but since Amy had reached out for a reason she wasn't going to turn her away. She looked up and caught Lauren peeking around the corner.

"I know you heard my side of the conversation but I honestly don't know what she wants to talk to me about and once we do talk you know full well I won't divulge anything she tells me without Amy's permission. Now, don't you need to be getting to work?" Lauren frowned. Something was up with Amy, especially since she had obviously come home early. She'd just have to get it out of Amy after work today. Man did she hate working at the food court.

Ten minutes after Lauren left for work, Amy pulled into the driveway. Lauren's mother answered the door moments after she rang the doorbell. Feeling it was best to get right down to business, Amy was lead straight to Dr. Treacy home office. Once the door was shut and they were both sitting down, it was Amy who spoke up first.

"This is going to be more of an interview than a discussion."

"Alright. Would you care to tell me what this interview is about?"

"I'm trying to figure out how my life unfolded the way it has so I can make some changes and realized that before I can do that I first need answers to some questions."

"Okay. And where does this interview fit in?"

"I need to understand how I became inhuman to the people close to me." Dr. Treacy blood ran cold at Amy's reply. Not only because of the words she had spoken but because her face was unreadable, as though Amy was hiding something even while looking for answers. The psychologist in her knew she needed to turn this interview into an actual therapy session and the mother in her needed to know why one of her daughter's best friends was hurting so badly. But knowing Amy was only going to reveal what **she** wanted to reveal and when, she opted for professionalism and simply nodded for Amy to continue.

"Why did you allow your daughter to be my friend in the third grade?"

"The two of you got along well together and had bonded quickly."

"Why did my pregnancy change your view of me from a suitable friend to an unsuitable one?" Now she realized where this was going. She sighed and suddenly her psychologist mode became laced with motherly overtones.

"Amy, as a parent, when you discover that one of your children's friends is making bad decisions your only thought is to protect your child from that pattern of behavior and the potential negative consequences of their friend's decisions." She wanted Amy to understand that she was simply trying to protect Lauren, not hurt Amy. Too bad her explanation wasn't the end of this "interview."

"As a psychologist, are you aware that people make poor decisions and have lapses in judgment from time to time?"

"Yes," she replied, a little lost as to where this discussion was going now.

"Do you believe that people should wallow in their 'consequences' or attempt to make lemonade out of lemons and better themselves?"

"Yes, I believe that after accepting the consequences of their actions people should learn from their mistakes and move forward."

"Do you believe that a support system makes it easy for people to do so?"

"Absolutely," she responded confidently.

"Are some people's poor decisions more deserving of the benefit of a support system than others?"

"What do you mean?" Amy remained silent, waiting for an answer. Realizing Amy wasn't going to expound upon her question, Dr. Treacy had to think about the question for a moment. Suddenly she realized what Amy had just asked her, well, accused her of actually. By forbidding Lauren to talk to or spend time with Amy she had unknowingly stripped Amy of a piece of her support system during a time when she needed emotional support.

"Amy I never meant to hurt you or rob you of a source of physical and emotional support. I only wanted to protect my child." Before she had a chance to continue trying to apologize, Amy continued her attack.

"Do you believe your daughter lacks self-control or common sense, as a general rule?"

"What? No! Amy.."

"And yet you felt that upon learning one of her best friends was pregnant that the idea to have sex or become a mother in High School would instantly be planted in her mind?"

"Of course not, Amy. I…"

"Were you aware that after I told your daughter and Madison that I thought I was pregnant they blocked off one of the girls bathrooms at school and both waited with me while I took three different pregnancy tests?"

"No. I…"

"Were you aware that after all three tests told me I was in fact pregnant that your daughter's first words of advice to me were to go to a doctor to be sure and then to tell my parents?" She was stunned. She had had talks with Lauren about relationships and sex and knew her daughter was level headed, and what Amy had just told her was evidence of it. No wonder Amy was angry over her decision. Now she really needed to apologize to Amy profusely. Lauren had been a voice of reason as well as source of emotional support and her desire to protect _her_ child had hurt someone else's.

"If you believed your daughter to have a good head on her shoulders and be un-swayed by the actions of her peers, why did I transform from an average teenager into one unworthy of your daughter's friendship simply by becoming un-expectantly pregnant?" She had no answer. She honestly hadn't thought about how her decision would be seen through Amy's eyes. Even though she realized she'd done Amy a disservice, why was Amy coming to her now? Amy sat in the armchair across from her silently. Realizing she hadn't answered, she simply hung her head for several moments, unable to face the young woman sitting across from her.

Raising her eyes she answered honestly. "Amy, no one is unworthy of friendship or support. You accepted the consequences of your actions and have become a wonderful mother and a strong young woman. I reacted to news of your pregnancy, unfortunately, like any other parent when instead I should've based my reaction on my knowledge of and relationship with you. You and Lauren have been friends since the third grade. You love each other like sisters and I know you didn't get pregnant on a whim. I can't undo what I've done to you, Amy. All I can do now is tell you that I've seen my decision through your eyes and understand how much I've hurt you. I truly hope that your friendship with Lauren won't continue to be strained because of me and that someday you will forgive me and learn to trust me again." Amy nodded in acceptance of the apology and stood up.

"Dr. Treacy, thank you for your time and honesty today. I'll see myself out." With another nod, Amy turned and left. She was almost to the front door when Jason came out of the living room heading towards the kitchen. She hadn't planned on talking to him yet but since he was here she stopped him.

"Jason, I need to ask you something and I would appreciate an honest answer, even if you know I'm not going to like whatever it is." He looked at her curiously but stopped to hear her question.

"How did you find out that I was pregnant?" Jason blanched for a second. By stopping he had agreed to answer honestly but you're not supposed to rat out your sister, right? While deciding how to answer his mother began walking down the hallway towards them.

"Tell her the truth Jason." Now he knew without a mental struggle to do as his mother told him so he did so.

"Lauren told me."

"Why?"

"She asked me what she should do to help you since you weren't ready to tell your parents yet but she knew medically you were supposed to be taking care of yourself since you were pregnant." Now it was Dr. Treacy's turn to blanche. Her daughter had not only offered her best friend sound advice but then turned to her brother, the future doctor, for medical advice for her friend.

"Did you tell anyone else what she'd confided in you?" Jason looked panicked. Lauren **had** told him in confidence, but he didn't keep that confidence. When he didn't respond his mother prodded him: "Jason?" No way out now.

"Yeah…..I kinda…said something…..in the locker room….to my teammates…when Jack started talking about Grace and Ricky." He looked at his mother and saw, to his surprise, anger and disappointment in her eyes. He looked at Amy and was actually scared when he didn't see any emotion on her face.

"Thank you for your honesty, Jason. Good bye." And just like that she walked out the door.


	4. Distracted

Madison's mood picked up, slightly, when she saw Lauren walk in. The only redeeming thing about this summer punishment was that she didn't have to serve it alone. One of her best friends was there to share her pain and humiliation. She was about to say good morning when she saw the confused look on her face.

"What?"

"Did you know Amy came home early?"

"What! Why didn't she call us? When did she get back? Did something happen with John?"

"I don't know," Lauren replied, shaking her head and looking worried.

"Wait, how do you know she's back early? Why didn't you call me when you found out?" Madison asked, irritated, as she crossed her arms and glared at her best friend.

"I didn't know until this morning! She called my house and asked for 'Dr. Treacy'. I asked why she wanted to talk to my mom and why she'd called her by her professional title but she wouldn't answer me." Catching their boss' eye Lauren motioned to Madison that they needed to get to work. As they were getting buckets of cleaning solution and rags together Lauren looked around for their boss before leaning close to Madison and whispering.

"I heard my mom say Amy could come by the house that morning if she didn't wanna meet at my mom's office. What do you think's going on and why wouldn't she talk to us first?" Madison couldn't hide her surprise at finding out Amy wanted a therapy session, and from Lauren's mom of all people. She simply shook her head.

"We'll just have to go over there after work and find out." Lauren nodded in agreement. It was gonna be a long day of wondering though.

Back at the butcher shop Ricky was trying to stay focused on his job but, like Madison and Lauren, he was too distracted trying to figure out what was going on with Amy. _Did something happen at the program that made her want to come home early? Maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. _Ben noticed that Ricky had been lost in thought for most of the morning and during their first break his curiosity got the best of him.

"What's up with you today?"

"Huh?"

"You keep zoning out. Get into a fight with Amy or something?" Ricky let out a frustrated sigh and ran his right hand through his hair. _Bingo_.

"So what was it about?" Ricky thought about their brief conversation last night and the lack of one this morning and huffed out his frustration.

"That's just it, there **was** no fight! We started talking about," he suddenly paused, realizing he was about to reveal some of what he and Amy had discussed while in New York and quickly changed his explanation mid-sentence, "things, when she got lost in thought and quit talking to me. She said she wasn't mad at me but then she just sat on the couch, lost in thought again, and told me to go ahead and go to bed. And then this morning instead of finishing our conversation she actually refused to talk about it!" Ricky let out a frustrated breath, not realizing Ben's facial expression had changed, and continued.

"Then she called some doctor to make an appointment and the doctor offered to let Amy come to her house today instead of the hospital and when I asked her if everything was okay she just said 'It will be' all cryptic like, got her keys and drove off!"

"Wait, WHAT!"

"I know right! If you're gonna have a conversation with someone at **least** finish it or let them know you'll talk about it later. You don't just drop it like that! And you'd think she'd tell her son's father if she's having medical problems!"

"AMY'S BACK! AND SHE'S SICK?!" Ricky looked at Ben's surprised and anxious expression and smacked himself in the forehead. _That's right genius; no one knows she's back early and you don't even know what's wrong with her._ Thankfully they were on break and Ben immediately called Amy's cell. He frowned when it went straight to voicemail but he left a message anyway.

"Hi Amy. I just heard you were home and wanted to see if you were okay and wanted to meet up today and talk. Talk to you later. I love you, bye." Ricky just rolled his eyes. Amy would talk to Ben when she was ready and not a minute before, and **he** would be the one to find out what was wrong with Amy, not Ben. After break they were both absentminded, catching Bunny's attention. During a lull in customers she pulled them both aside.

"You know I don't mix business and personal lives but something personal has got you both distracted on the business end of things. Snap out of it and shape up!"

"Yes ma'am" they said in unison, and worked twice as hard for the rest of the morning to stay focused on their work.


	5. Penciled In

Amy had arrived back home and was looking up a number in the phone book when her mom walked in carrying Robbie, her dad not far behind.

"Amy! What are you doing here? Did something happen in New York? Is everything alright?" Amy smiled at her mother's concerned face and shook her head.

"Everything's fine mom. I just realized that there were some things here at home that I'm more capable of dealing with since going through the program. I wanted to tie up all my loose ends with friends and whatnot early so I could enjoy my summer." She went back to looking up the phone number she was after.

"So how was New York Kiddo?" George asked.

"Great," she answered honestly, smiling as memories of all the great girls she'd met and the fun she'd been able to have came to mind.

"Bring me anything?" She chuckled. Leave it her dad to downplay her unexpected re-appearance in the middle of the night.

"I've got gifts for everyone, I just haven't unpacked yet. I've got some errands to run today." Anne knew there was more to the story than that but she knew Amy well enough to know that if you pushed her to explain before she was ready, she'd clam up and become unmovable so Anne let it slide, for now.

"Your dad needs to drop by the store and Robbie and I have some errands of our own before we go grocery shopping. Do you need anything from the store?"

"I'm good for now, thanks." After her parents left it took Amy another minute to locate the correct number she needed from the phone book and she promptly dialed it.

"Boykewich International. This is Camille speaking. How may I help you?"

"My name is Amy Juergens. I need to discuss a personal matter with Mr. Boykewich and was calling to schedule an appointment to speak with him." _Amy Juergens. Why does that name sound so familiar?_ Camille checked Leo's schedule and noticed that he had an opening later that morning.

"Mr. Boykewich has an opening in his schedule today at 10:30. Would that time work for you?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Alright. I'll let Mr. Boykewich know and we will see you at 10:30 Ms. Juergens."

"Thank you. Goodbye." _Why does that name sound so familiar?_ The elevator doors opened and Leo walked in carrying a stack of reports and a cup of coffee.

"Any messages, Camille?"

"No, but a young woman named Amy Juergens has scheduled an appointment to meet with you this morning at 10:30." Leo tried to hide his surprise.

"Did she say what about?"

"No, just that it was a personal matter. And Leo, her name sounds familiar but I can't seem to place it. Should I know who this Ms. Juergens is?"

"She's Ben's girlfriend and John's mother. I wonder what's happened and why she wants an **official** appointment. She can drop by the house whenever she'd like." He walked into his office thoughtfully and checked his watch. It was only 9:15. He knew he wouldn't be getting a lot of work done until after he spoke with Amy. Meanwhile Amy had another phone call to make. Looking up the number she needed for the district attorney's office, she placed her next call.

"District Attorney's office, Julia speaking. How may I help you?"

"My name is Amy Juergens and I would like to schedule an appointment to speak with a district attorney by the name or Mr. Ruben Enriquez about a personal matter."

"Very well Ms. Juergens." She pulled up Ruben's schedule and looked for the first available opening as she asked, "Is there a time of day or day of the week that works best with your schedule?"

"Would you please tell me the first day and time he has available so I can better answer that question?" Julia smiled. She liked this young woman already. She was assertive but polite, a combination lacking in far too many people these days.

"I see that Mr. Enriquez has an opening this afternoon at 12:15. Does this work with your schedule Ms. Juergens?"

"Yes, ma'am, 12:15 today would be fine." Julia smiled. _Again with the politeness, although I can do without the ma'am._

"Please tell me a phone number where you can be reached, as well as how to spell your last name, so I can put you on Mr. Enriquez's schedule." Amy gave her the requested information and then Julia ended the call. _What a nice young woman_ she thought with a smile. She frowned as a disturbing thought came to her. _Please don't let her be in any serious trouble_.

Ashley was coming around the corner from the living room when she heard Amy on the phone. _Why does she need to speak to Adrian's dad? And why is she making an appointment with his office when he lives next door? Is she trying to find a loop hole with the mediation?_ Ashley decided the direct approach was best. If Amy was gonna do something else to turn this family upside down she wanted to be prepared for it, ahead of time.

Walking into the kitchen she put her empty glass on the counter and asked pointedly, "Why are you meeting with Ruben? Trying to change the mediation agreement?" Amy looked at her after hanging up the phone but didn't say anything, instead getting herself something to drink.

"Well?" Ashley pushed

"Well what?"

"What are you up to?"

"Cleaning up my life."

"Meaning?"

"Exactly what I just said."

"And how does Ruben fit into the 'mess' that needs cleaning?" Amy didn't answer, sticking to her rule about not telling anyone what she was up to. Ashley scowled at her back as Amy made her way upstairs to unpack while waiting for her appointment with Leo. _This is not good. Amy can't lie so she's just not going to say anything? Something's going on and I'm going to get to the bottom of it with or without her help._


	6. Your Grace

Leo sat behind his desk watching the clock like a teenager waiting for the last day of school to end_. What could Amy possibly want to talk to me about that she can't go to her parents or best friends with? Are her parents having money troubles?_ Leo didn't get to take that train of thought any farther because Camille told him over the intercom that Amy had arrived. He looked at his watch and saw that it was 10:20. _She's early_. He told Camille to go ahead and send her in. Amy walked in and sat down with an unusual expression on her face but Leo knew exactly what it was. It was the kind of expression a person has when they're trying hard not to show any emotion but hasn't learned how to have a poker face yet.

"Hello, Amy. What brings you here today?"

"Mr. Boykewich, I need to ask you several very personal questions and I would appreciate complete honesty, even if you think or know I'm not going to like the answers." _This can't be good, but she came to me for a reason and I have no reason to lie to her._

"Very well, Amy. I will do my best to answer every question as completely and honestly as I can. Will that suffice?" She nodded and then asked her first question.

"Why did you allow your son to propose to me after learning I was pregnant with another guy's child?" Leo wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but he had a hunch. _This does not bode well for Amy and Ben's relationship_ he thought, but answered her question.

"I could tell he was completely smitten with you and he wanted nothing more than to love and take care of you and your baby."

"Why did you allow your son to date me again after we broke up the first time?"

"Amy, I know you didn't see it but Ben was overwhelmed. When he proposed he honestly believed he would be able to handle being in a relationship with you and help you raise John, even though Ricky intended to be a part of John's life as well. He just needed some time to get his head around the responsibility of such a huge commitment and once he took some time to think things over and decided he wanted to continue his relationship with you, I saw no reason to discourage him."

"Were you aware that there was tension between your son and my son's father because of the latter coming over to my house to spend time with his son?" _Uh oh._

"Yes, Amy. I knew there was some tension between the two of them over the visitation arrangements you and Ricky had at the time."

"Did you speak to your son about ways he could resolve or ease this tension?"

"Yes."

"Why did you send him to Bolgna?" _Bologna? Was this about Maria? Does Amy blame me for that?_

"I felt that he needed a break."

"Why?" Her question stopped him. _How do I explain this without hurting Amy's feelings?_ Leo wondered. _I'm not sure I can do that, but I promised to be honest so…_

"Once John was born and Ben was faced with the reality of being one of three parental figures in John's life, his jealousy of Ricky started to get the better of him. He loved you and was jealous that you and Ricky shared a unique bond that was going to last for a lifetime, even though he thought of and loved John as his own son. Once I realized he hadn't fully dealt with the reality of his relationship with you, I thought that some distance from the situation might help him gain a little perspective about life and himself."

"When your son returned, did you suspect that he had done something during the summer that he regretted?" _And we're back to Maria_.

"Yes, Amy. I suspected he had done something, but I didn't know any specifics."

"Did you confront him about your suspicions?"

"Yes," Leo answered hesitantly, knowing that question was leading somewhere he wasn't sure he wanted to go.

"And what was the result of this confrontation?" Guilt washed over him momentarily as her remembered exactly what had happened during this little 'confrontation.' Amy was a nice girl. She deserved the truth.

"Ben began hinting he might have done something that he regretted and before he confessed I told him not to tell me anything I really didn't want to know and not to say anything to you if it might hurt your feelings."

"Why did you give your son permission to lie to someone he claimed to love instead of telling them the truth?" Leo knew that everyone lies from time to time to spare the feelings of friends or loved ones and he honestly believed that telling the truth was always the best option when it came to wrongdoings. _So why did I basically tell my son to lie to his girlfriend?_

"So you wouldn't be hurt any more than you already had."

"Were you aware that Maria was coming to visit him?"

"No, she surprised us both."

"After learning that your son had in fact cheated on his girlfriend, did you reprimand him in any way, shape or form?"

"We had a long, heated, discussion about it," Leo replied, thinking about how disappointed he had been that Ben could behave so disgracefully towards his girlfriend.

"Why did you bring your son to visit my in New York?"

"Because you deserved to hear him tell you he had gotten Arian pregnant face to face." Realization sudden hit him in the face like a freight train. He knew Ben had gotten another girl pregnant and forced him to tell Amy the truth face to face because it was the right thing to do. But when he merely **suspected** that Ben had cheated on her, he more or less ordered Ben to do her a disservice and outright lie to her. _Why was this time different from the first? Why did I let my son hurt Amy once but not twice?_

"Why didn't you stop your son from getting back together with me after we broke up the second time?" Leo had to think about her question for a moment. Yes, he could tell Ben was head over heels for Amy. Yes, he knew Ben was in over his head and needed time to make sure he was ready for everything parenthood brought with it. Yes, he knew Ben had a new perspective about life and love from his time in Bologna. Yes, he knew his son had hurt Amy in the past. _Why __**did**__ I let them get back together?_

"I guess because I could see that Ben was doing his best to learn from his mistakes and trying to be a better man. Even with the mistakes and bad decisions he had made, I could see that Ben still loved you, Amy."

"I see." Amy sat there quietly for a few moments thinking about what she had learned. Finally she stood up and adjusted her purse and gave Leo a small smile.

"Thank you for your time and honesty, Mr. Boykewich. I'll see myself out." Out of habit he walked to her the elevator doors anyway. As they waited for the elevator Leo couldn't help himself from asking her a question. That 'meeting' just seemed so odd.

"Is that truly all you wanted to discuss, Amy? Is there anything else I can help you with? Our conversation feels a little unfinished."

"No thank you, Mr. Boykewich. I needed answers to some questions before I could decide what course to take next and you've given me some of those answers today so thank you." The elevator arrived and Amy stepped into it. She pushed the ground floor button and in seconds the doors closed and she was gone.


	7. No Objections

Reuben was sitting in his office on pins and needles. He'd come back from a short deposition this morning to pick up some files for a case he had later on when Julia told him Amy had scheduled a meeting with him this afternoon. He'd left quickly after for the case but now it was over for the day. He'd grabbed an early lunch and had been racking his brain for the better part of half an hour wondering what she wanted to talk about. If she had scheduled an appointment with his office than it had to be a legal matter of **some** kind but all Julia had told him was that it was a personal matter. _Writing a will? Medical power of attorney? Emancipation? What does she need __**my**__ help with?_ He glanced at the clock and saw that it was exactly 12:00. In the front of his office Amy had just walked in and went up to the woman sitting at the front desk.

"Hello. My name is Amy Juergens and I have a 12:15 appointment with Mr. Ruben Enriquez." Julia just stared at her for a moment with her mouth open but quickly composed herself and smiled. She instructed Amy to please have a seat while she let Mr. Enriquez know she was here. Even though she was smiling, Julia's heart was racing. _She's so young and if she's meeting with a district attorney, by herself, it __**must**__ be something serious. Lord please watch over her_. She quickly buzzed Ruben's office.

"Yes, Julia?"

"Ms. Juergens is here sir."

"Please, send her in." Amy walked in a few moments later and took a seat. Ruben was about to greet her when he noticed her facial expression, or rather, lack thereof. He got up to close the door and then returned to his seat, fully alert and focused now.

"Amy, Julia informed me you have a personal matter you wish to discuss." She nodded and he continued, "What exactly is it you would like to talk to me about?"

"Mr. Enriquez I need to have more of a personal interview with you than a discussion and I would appreciate complete honesty, regardless of what you think my reaction might be to the truth." If Ruben was focused before he was on hyper alert now. But the only way he was gonna know what this was about was to have this 'interview' with Amy.

"Very well."

"Why did you buy the house next door to my mother's?" _Oh no, this is going to be about her and Adrian not getting along_. He sighed but answered her question anyway.

"Cindy and I wanted to become a family and have all three of us living together in a house instead of an apartment. Cindy and I looked for homes in the school district but there were none for sale."

"How did you find out that my father was selling his house?"

"Adrian told us."

"Were you and your wife the first ones to make an offer on my father's house?"

"Yes," he answered hesitantly, not sure where she was going with this. _Why is she so focused on the house all of the sudden?_

"How do you know?"

"You father called and offered to let us look around."

"How did he know you and your wife were looking for a house?" _Nope, this is still about Adrian._

"He told us Adrian had dropped by and mentioned it."

"Were you aware of the reasons your daughter wanted you to buy my father's house?"

"Amy, there's really no need for twenty questions here. If there's something about Adrian you wish to discuss with me, you can just come out and say so. I know the two of you haven't always been on the best of terms, for a multitude of reasons. What is it you really wish to ask me?" Amy remained silent. Ruben decided to wait as well to see if she would relent and speak what was really on her mind. Five minutes passed and Ruben realized they were going to do this Amy's way or not at all.

"Alright Amy, yes. I knew she wanted us to buy the house so she could spy on Ricky."

"Why did you decide to move into a house next door to someone that you knew your daughter didn't like and vice versa?"

"Amy, Adrian was jealous that you got to spend time with her boyfriend too. There's not a lot a parent can do about their child's jealously accept to discourage it and encourage their child to deal with it in a healthy way."

"Where you aware of the unhealthy ways that your daughter was dealing with this supposed jealously?"

"Yes." _What did she mean 'supposed'?_

"Which ones?" Ruben looked at her confused. _Which ones? What exactly had been going on between these two?_

"I knew she had made some derogatory remarks about your mother and that she had held John without your permission."

"Is that all that you were aware of?"

"What do you mean?"

"Were you aware that your daughter approached me in the hallway at school, before finding out I was pregnant, and specifically asked me if I was interested in Ricky, promising to stay away from him if he and I were involved and that I had told her he and I weren't?"

"No." That was news to him. Although, he wasn't physically a part of Adrian's life back them.

"Were you aware that upon learning I was pregnant with Ricky's child she offered to drive me to the clinic to have an abortion and informed me that Ricky would never love or want to marry me?"

"No." _Adrian actually said that!? As rocky as her relationship with Ricky was, what made her so sure he wouldn't care about the mother of his child?_

"Were you aware your daughter later informed me my child's father would never love me and would forever hate me because by having my son I had ruined his life?"

"No…"

"Were you aware your daughter later informed me because she was willing to have sex with my child's father that she would one day be able to replace me as his mother the two of them would raise my son as a real family?"

"She said WHAT!?" Ruben had never felt so angry and disappointed in his daughter, including the morning before school Cindy had asked him to drop by the apartment and he'd found her and Ricky half dressed.

"Were you aware that your wife had had an affair with my father?"

"Huh? Yes, but…."

"Why did you feel it was a good idea to move in next door to the woman whose marriage ended in part because of your wife's actions?" Ruben was rapidly losing both his temper and train of thought. _Is Amy blaming me for her parents' divorce or is she simply mad at Adrian and taking it out on Cindy and I?_

"Amy, I need a moment here to make sure I'm following you, okay?" When she remained silent he asked the question he had moments ago asked himself. "Are you angry with Adrian about something she said to you in the past or are you angry at Cindy for your parents' divorce?" Amy didn't respond and he could tell from your expression and body language she wasn't going to. He simply sighed and asked her to repeat her last question.

"Why did you feel it was a good idea to move in next door to the woman whose marriage ended in part because of your wife's actions?" Hearing the question again Ruben had to take a minute to think about it. _At the time Cindy's affair hadn't seemed like such a big obstacle to overcome or deal with simply because it had happened and ended before we started dating. Wait, she's not asking about how __**I**__ felt, she's asking about __**her**__ family!_ Ruben could've slapped himself. He had gotten to know George and got along with him. He knew Amy and Adrian were at odds mainly because of Ricky but he figured if they both put in the effort to get along as neighbors they could come to terms with the reality of their situation. _It never once crossed my mind how Anne might feel living next door to the woman her husband cheated on her with, let alone how her daughter might feel._ He put himself in Amy's shoes for a moment_. If I found out my parents were getting a divorce because my dad had an affair, then found out the other woman was the mother of my personal antagonist , and then found out that now both women would be living next door to me I'd feel….awful. And on top of that I now have to watch my mother's reaction every time she sees the 'other woman' next door and is reminded of the affair. Oh man did I screw up!_

"Amy…..I'm sorry. I was so focused on making sure you and Adrian got along that I forgot to even think about the rest of the people affected by our buying that house because of our history together." Ruben wanted to continue apologizing but Amy asked her next question before he could get out his next sentence.

"Why did you initially offer to help my son's father obtain legal joint custody?" _Wait, now she's mad at me for helping Ricky!?_ He stopped himself from asking her where she was going with that question, having recently learned that he'd figure it out eventually. Instead he told her the truth, knowing she probably wasn't going to like it.

"Most of your friends, including Ricky, decided to play hooky one day and we parents were called to the school. Leo and your dad were there and we discussed our children's decision to play hooky. We came to the conclusion that maybe if we all shared some of our mistakes and poor decisions with the lot of you, you wouldn't repeat them. I shared with Ricky that I knew he was unhappy about being separated from John and that he was willing to fight to be a part of his child's life, something I hadn't done. I told him that even though I'd paid child support for Arian all her life, I was never **there**. Her mother wanted it that way and I went along with it, even though I wasn't happy about it. I told Ricky that if he wasn't happy with his current visitation arrangements with you, that little impromptu vacation aside, I was willing to help him do better for his child than I had done for mine, even if that meant legal action."

"Did you ever discuss with your wife why she didn't want you around?"

"No."

"Did you ever ask my son's father why I was comfortable with the arrangement we had before you offered your assistance?"

"No, but Amy when both parents are around and willing to raise their child all the decisions can't come from just one parent. Not only is it unfair to the child but it's unfair to your partner, or co-parent."

"Were you aware at any time before the judgment was final that I was uncomfortable with the custody arrangement my son's father proposed?"

"Yes, but I told Ricky to first try to come up with an arrangement that both of you were comfortable with and that if he didn't honestly try I wouldn't help him" he said reluctantly, knowing that he had once again missed something vital, but at least in this case he **had** considered Amy's feelings and possible reactions to legal action against her.

"Did you ask him what my reservations were?" _Reservations? That means she had concerns but wasn't completely opposed to the idea of joint custody. Something's happened that's confirmed one or more of those reservations. Does Amy feel she needs to do something but legally can't because of the mediation? What is going on!?_

"What happened Amy? Do you want to amend the mediated agreement for some reason?" This was not going to be easy but the sooner they got started on the process the better, for Amy, Ricky, John and their friends and families.

"No." She stood up and Reuben did likewise, albeit confusedly.

"Thank you for your time and honesty Mr. Enriquez. I'll see myself out." And with that she turned, opened the door, and walked out of his office. Ruben had a gut feeling that whatever this 'meeting' had been about hadn't been resolved. This, whatever it was, was far from over.


	8. Chamber of Secrets

With her short interviews now out of the way, Amy had plans to spend the rest of the day cleaning out her room. After leaving Ruben's office, she had made pit stops at a few of the local big box stores and asked if they had any cardboard boxes they were going to recycle that she could have or buy from them. She managed to get quite a haul of flattened boxes, all for free, and lugged them up to her bedroom as soon as she got home. Amy made herself some lunch and sat down to think about what she had uncovered so far while she ate. She had learned that Lauren's mom had simply over reacted and was in fact an ally, not an enemy. Jason, on the other hand was definitely an enemy. Not simply because he had played a major role in news of her pregnancy getting around school but because Amy knew Lauren well enough to know she had only confided in her older brother in order to try and find a way to help her best friend; she didn't expect her brother would betray her trust and spill the beans. She learned that Mr. Boykewich, like Dr. Treacy, had simply been trying to help his child. He believed he was helping Ben deal with the reality of teen parenthood and his own jealousy. He didn't know Ben would make the decision to cheat on her and he hadn't anticipated it. Mr. Boykewich was definitely an ally as well. As for Ruben, he was so focused on being the father he should've been all of Adrian's life that he forgot to consider the feelings of those connected to or entangled with his family in any way so he was best fit into the enemy group. It wasn't that he had set out specifically to hurt her in any way but by being so narrow-mindedly focused on an issue at hand without considering the big picture, Amy couldn't be sure that her life wouldn't or couldn't be disrupted by any more of his 'helpful assistance'. After finishing her lunch Amy decided to turn on her phone, since she had no more interviews scheduled for the day. She noticed four new voicemails. The first was from Ben.

"Hi, Amy. I just heard you were home and just wanted to see if you were okay and wanted to meet up today and talk. Talk to you later. I love you, bye." She rolled her eyes and deleted the message. She had a ways to go before she got around to talking to Ben. He would just have to wait. The second was from Ricky.

"Hey, Amy. Look I know you'll tell me what's going on when you're ready but I heard you make that doctor's appointment this morning and I just need to know. Whatever's going on isn't life threatening is it? Call me back. Please." That took her by surprise. _Why would he think I was having some kind of medical emergency? _She thought back to this morning. _That's right! Ricky doesn't know Lauren's mom, Dr. Treacy, is a psychologist too_. She looked at her watch and saw that Ricky should be on his lunch break about now so she decided to call him before listening to the other two messages. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hi Amy," he said a little too quickly. He didn't want her to know that he'd been starring at his phone ever since he'd gone on his lunch break and that the sight of her name on his caller ID had made his heart race.

"I just turned on my phone and listened to your message. I'm not having any kind of medical emergency." She couldn't see the relief on his face or the way his entire body had magically relaxed at those words.

"That's good. So you're okay then?" He just had to be sure. She chuckled. _Why is he so concerned all of the sudden _she wondered.

"Yes, Ricky. Clean bill of health."

"So are we gonna talk about last night sometime in the near future?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not time to."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means we'll talk when it's time to talk."

"And when exactly is it gonna be time to talk?"

"I'll let you know. Bye." And just like that she hung up on him, leaving more questions than answers. Ricky was tempted to call her right back but he knew that if he pushed her she'd push back and they'd end up nowhere. So for now he'd sit where he was, finish his lunch, go back to work, and let his mind come up with explanations for Amy's weird behavior. The next two messages were from Lauren and Madison respectively.

"Amy, Madison and I are coming over after work to talk to you. I don't know what you needed to talk to my mom about but we're your best friends and we're always here for you. See you soon."

"Amy, Lauren and I are coming over right after work! She said you were back in town and something's up. Why didn't you tell us you were coming home early? Oh, my boss is giving me the evil eye, gotta get back to work. Bye" Amy rolled her eyes. She wasn't talking to anyone tonight; they just didn't know it yet.

_First order of business: set up the boxes._ Heading up to her room, Amy got to work reassembling and taping up five of the larger boxes and labeled them with letters: "T" for trash, "D" for donate, "R" for recycle, "K" for keep, and "P" for project. Amy planned to trash, donate or recycle a lot of the things she no longer needed, wanted, or fit; keep a few things to put in her little 'chamber of secrets'; and use some things to finish up or create artistic projects. The boxes all finished, she looked around her room, trying to decide where to start. As she sat on the couch earlier that morning she realized that some of the drama she needed to remove from her life was centered on dreams and fantasies that weren't going to come true. She realized while in New York that Julliard and the Philharmonic weren't where her heart was anymore. Having realized she had also been unlucky in love she decided that she would put a moratorium on love and romance until John was at least in college, and sex was out of the question. _I'll just use some 'Just Say Me' time while John's with Ricky for that_.

Deciding the closet would be a good place to start, she began removing all of her maternity clothes and tossing them into the D box. Next she pulled our anything she hadn't worn in a while or that no longer fit. Having made quick work of her closet she moved on to her dresser drawers to repeat the process. She tossed all of her maternity underwear and nursing bras in the T box. _Who wants used underwear? Gross._ Clothing done, she moved onto her night stand and shelves. All romance and pregnancy books went into the D box. She wasn't going to be having another baby **anytime** soon and after her experiences with love and sex, she had no interest in her small collection of romance books, even though they were all strictly PG-rated. She went through the toys and books that she kept in her room for John and likewise picked out all the ones he no used or had outgrown, adding them to the D box. Her shelves now half empty, Amy moved onto her desk. She tossed out old school papers, flyers, pamphlets, and other odds and ends that she no longer needed, including all of the information she'd accumulated about Julliard over the years. She even went through all of her pens and pencils to throw out the ones without ink or eraser ends, respectively. She went through her drawer of important paperwork: her insurance paperwork, John's birth certificate, her bank statements, etc. and made sure everything was organized and filed away where it should be.

Jetlag was starting to catch up with her so Amy looked at her watch. It was 2:45. She considered taking a nap but decided she'd rather finish cleaning out her room before picking up John. She began sorting through her various boxes. Starting with the D box, she dumped everything out on her bed and made three piles. She would donate her items to the church nursery, the local library, and Goodwill. The local library would be getting all of her books. The church nursery would be getting all of John's old books and toys. Everything else was going to Goodwill. She taped up three smaller boxes from her stash and placed the appropriate items in each. Next Amy tackled the R box. She sorted the various items inside into paper, plastic and cardboard piles; put each pile into a smaller box; and then carried them downstairs to the recycle bins outside and dumped them into the respective bins. She returned to her room for the T box and promptly carried it outside to empty its contents into the trash bin. Being a single mother, Amy had plenty of pictures she'd been meaning to organize and put into photo albums or frames; she just hadn't gotten around to it. Returning to her room, she dumped out the P box and spent the next hour writing names, dates, and ages of the people in the photos on the backs and putting them into albums or photo frames. That finished, she got to work dusting and vacuuming her room. By the time she was done changing her bed sheets, it was a little after 4:00. She stepped back and proudly surveyed how less cluttered her room was. _Plenty of room now for new memories and dreams_.

Taking some of her filled photo albums, Amy took a small locket out of her jewelry box and made her way upstairs to the attic, to her 'chamber of secrets.' When she had turned eight, Mimsy and her mom had given her a hope chest for her birthday and it was where Amy kept all of her secrets. She smiled when she spotted the chest in the far corner and made her way over to it. Taking the locket, she carefully pressed it into a small depression on the side of the chest and gave it a 360 degree turn. One of Amy's favorite things about her hope chest was this interesting lock mechanism. The chest was hand carved out of wood and had Irish symbols all around the edge carved in as depressions, symbols of her maternal heritage. All of the depressed symbols were identical but only she, Mimsy and her mom, and the person who made the chest she guessed, knew which depression her locket actually fit into in order to open the chest.

Opening the chest Amy couldn't help but smile at the "treasures" inside. At the moment, her chest contained handmade quilts, linens, and several baby blankets her mom and Mimsy had made. The chest also held a set of china and a necklace that had been passed down for generations from mother to eldest daughter to be worn on the daughter's wedding day. When Amy had been given her hope chest, her mother had given it to her and Mimsy had watched with tears in her eyes. Over the years Amy had placed of few of her own little treasures inside: her journals. When she received her hope chest, Mimsy had also given her a blank journal. Amy smiled as a memory of receiving that gift came back to her.

"_Now Amy," Mimsy had said, "every woman needs a journal and a diary. A diary is good for writing down what's on your mind or heart at the moment. A journal is where you write down your story." Mimsy could tell from Amy's expression that she didn't understand so she smiled and continued explaining._

"_There will be times in your life when you have thoughts and emotions swirling around inside you that you just wanna write down in order to get them off your mind. There will also be times in your life when you feel the need to sit and think about what has happened to you during the past week or month. As you think about what has happened to you, a journal is a companion that will listen as you write your story and then keep it a secret, so long as it's locked away somewhere safe, like a hope chest." She said the last line with a wink and Amy smiled._

Amy hadn't fully understood then why she would need or want to keep a journal a secret, not until she decided to play the French Horn. It was only when she decided to face her fear of the wolf that she began using her journal, and she continued writing in journals after her first one had filled up. Smiling fondly at her secrets, sitting safely stacked and tied together in her hope chest, she quickly added her photo albums of pictures of John to it and closed it, locking it securely. She returned her locket to her jewelry box and unpacked her luggage_. I'll do the actual laundry tomorrow_ she thought as she dropped off her dirty clothes in the laundry room. After placing the gifts she'd brought for her family on the kitchen table, she fixed herself a quick snack before heading out to pick up John.


	9. Winds of Change

Ricky somehow managed to arrive at the Juergens household minutes after Amy left to pick up John. He knocked on the backdoor the same moment Ashley came out of her room to head to the kitchen.

"Amy's not here. She left to pick up John."

"I know. The SUV wasn't in the driveway." She opened the door and he followed her into the kitchen.

"So what did you two fight about?"

"Come again?"

"She's been acting weird all day and refusing to speak to me. So what did you say to her? It's not about that kiss is it?" Ricky sighed and looked towards the ceiling, silently wishing God or some other cosmic entity would zap the answer to his questions about Amy straight into his brain. When no answers came, he simply shook his head.

"I have no idea," he told her honestly, finally looking back down at her. "All I know is that something's going on with her and she's not ready to talk about it." George and Anne both walked in the back door just then, George carrying bags of groceries while Anne carried only one and Robbie.

"Hello, Ricky" Anne greeted him. "Will you be staying for dinner?"

"I hadn't planned on it but if you don't mind having me I'd like to." Ricky didn't know what he planned to say to Amy so he didn't know how long the conversation would take. _Might as well think about it over a hot meal._ George began putting the groceries away as Anne took Robbie into the living room to place him in his playpen.

"So what have you been up to today, Princess?"

"Not much. Just trying to figure out what's wrong with Amy now." George quickly looked at Ashley before turning an angry stare at Ricky. "Did you two get in a fight about something already? She's been home for less than twenty-four hours!"

"NO! We didn't have a fight….exactly" he added, as George continued to glare at him angrily.

"And what does **that** mean?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. One minute we were having a…discussion and the next she just ended it."

"Hmmm," George said, knowing there was definitely something going on but not sure how to find out what. Before he could continue grilling Ricky the front doorbell rang. _Saved by the bell_ Ricky thought, as Ashley went to answer it. Ashley found Lauren and Madison standing on the doorstep. She simply rolled her eyes and let them in, figuring it wasn't worth the effort to figure out what they were doing here.

"Amy's not back from the nursery yet," was all she said to them, so they made their way to the couch and waited.

"Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are here to see Amy," she announced to her parents and Ricky as she grabbed a soda from the fridge. "Text me when dinner's ready." Ricky was feeling a little nervous since George was still looking at him with a questioning expression but mercifully Amy walked in the door at that moment and Ricky's mood instantly lifted at the sight of Amy holding their son and he smiled.

"Hey, Amy."

"Hi. What brings you by?"

"Just wondered if we could talk and finish the conversation we started last night."

"We need to table that conversation for now, but we'll get around to it."

"When do you think that will be?" Amy mentally ran through her list of people she needed to talk to and question. Figuring she could hopefully get her more emotional discussions finished by the end of the weekend, she looked at him and said, "Monday night. I'll see if one of my parents or Ashley can watch John and then I'll come by after work." George and Anne curiously watched the exchange and silently had a conversation of their own. _Now what_ they wondered.

"Sounds good," he said, even though it didn't. Ricky didn't want to wait four whole days to figure out what was going on with Amy, but since she had at least told him when she'd be ready to talk about it, he would wait. Hearing Amy's voice, Lauren and Madison came into the kitchen. Madison quickly ran up to her and hugged her, as best she could, considering Amy was still holding John.

"Amy! I missed you so much! When did you get back? Why didn't you call us? Are you jet lagged?" Lauren rolled her eyes and tried to hide a smile at their best friend's exuberance. Madison really needed to learn some tact and self-control. Amy hugged her back and smiled.

"I got in late last night and yes, I'm starting to feel the jet lag catching up with me." She put John in his high chair and gave him a toy to play with before turning to face her friends. "I know you two wanna talk and catch up but I'm really not in the mood for girl talk tonight. Can you guys come by tomorrow instead?" Lauren and Madison were crestfallen that Amy wasn't going to tell them what was going on yet but they both nodded.

"We get off at 12:00 tomorrow so we'll come by then." Amy nodded in agreement before adding "We can make lunch here and then catch up." Amy walked them to the front door and, after a hug from each of her friends, they were on their way home. Ricky felt like pouting and didn't understand why. _We have a son together so why would she talk to her girlfriends about whatever nonsense they're gonna talk about tomorrow but she won't talk to me about our relationship and our son until Monday!?_ He mentally had to check himself. _We talk almost every day. We have a son, it's not like she's going anywhere, again, anytime soon. So why am I so annoyed that she won't talk to me? I mean, it's not like she's my girlfriend. _Anne was busy preparing a salad to go with the lasagna she had prepared earlier and was now cooking and Ricky offered to set the dining room table, to keep himself busy.

Dinner was primarily a one-sided conversation, with Anne and George asking Amy to tell them about New York. Amy had genuinely enjoyed herself and Ricky watched her face light up a she told them all about her trip. _I'm glad she was able to have a break and have some fun_ Ricky thought as he tried his hardest not to stare at her constantly and make sure he was actually eating his meal. She went into the kitchen and retrieved the gifts she'd gotten for everyone. She'd gotten George a magnet in the shape of the Statue of Liberty, her mom a New York-themed snow globe, an 'I Heart New York' t-shirt for Ashley, a stuffed dog in the shape of a hot dog for John, and a stuffed bear that had 'I Heart New York' on its stomach for Robbie.

Ricky was shocked when she turned to him and handed him a small package as well. He opened it and saw that she had gotten him a drum set magnet that had the caption 'New York Rocks' underneath it. Turning it over, he saw that she had bought it from a gift shop in Radio City Music Hall. He was speechless. _She got me something?_ He had never once bought Amy **anything**. Not a birthday card (guilt suddenly washed over him again at remembering that he'd forgotten her birthday because he'd never known when it was), not a Christmas card, not a 'Congrats on the New Baby card', not a 'Thanks for Having My Kid' card (not that he thought there was really a Hallmark card for **that**); he hadn't even bought her a Mother's Day card after she had John. And here she's not only bought him a gift for no reason but it was personal. She knew he played drums and how much music meant to both of them and while visiting Radio City Music Hall, a building that, as musicians, they were both well aware of, she'd taken the time to think of him. _How did I end up with such a wonderful person in my life?_ Ricky managed to choke out a hoarse "Thank you." The rest of the evening wrapped up quickly. George and Ricky cleaned up the dishes while Amy and Anne got the boys cleaned up and put to bed. Ricky said good night and made his way home, Amy still on his mind.


	10. Sleepless Nights

Ricky sat bolt upright in his bed, completely disoriented, gasping like he'd been running for his life, and drenched in a cold sweat. Ricky frantically scanned his surroundings. _Why is it pitch black!? Where's the doctor!? _Slowly his brain began to function again and he realized he was in bed at his apartment. Placing his hands over his eyes, he noticed that his skin felt wet. He turned on his bedside lamp and saw that his clothes were soaked, as were the sheets where he'd been lying down. _I need a shower._ Looking at his alarm clock he saw that is was 2:15 AM. Getting out of bed, he noticed that he was shaking slightly. He stripped his sheets before making his way to the bathroom where he peeled off his soaked clothes and got in the shower. The warm water helped him relax. He made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water before sitting down on the couch. _It seemed so real._ And just like that, the dream came flooding back to him.

_They were in the courtyard at school and Amy was walking away from him, coughing a little. "Amy, we need to talk," he said, while gently grabbing her wrist to stop her."_

"_No we don't" she said, turning around to face him, another brief coughing spell coming over her._

"_Amy, are you sure you're not sick?"_

"_I'm fine," she said, once again stopped by coughs, only this time the coughing sounded worse. She looked at her hand suddenly and saw blood. Ricky panicked when he saw it as well. He looked up and saw her knees buckle just before she began to pitch sideways. He caught her and slowly lowered them both to the ground._

"_Maybe I'm not okay," she said._

"_AMY!" Ricky screamed in terror as her eyes rolled back and she passed out. Thankfully a teacher heard his scream and saw him holding a passed out Amy. She called 911 right away. Ricky was too scared to take his eyes off of her as he frantically tried to wake her._

"_Come on Amy, wake up! You can't leave me! We need you!" It felt like hours that he had been holding her but it was actually only three minutes. An ambulance was already dispatched a block away but the patient in question had refused the ambulance ride so they'd been rerouted to the school. Ricky was allowed to ride in the ambulance with her and even though he'd been pushed aside so she could be placed on a stretcher, he never once let go of her hand._

_At the hospital the doctor asked for Amy's name, age, and medical allergies and Ricky answered as best he could. Upon learning he was not a relative, however, Ricky was told he had to wait in the emergency room. He paced like he was hopped up on caffeine. _Please don't let her die, God, please! I know I stopped believing in you after everything I went through but I'm begging you, don't take her way from me! She's still needed here. I'll stop sleeping around, I'll be at her house EVERY spare moment I have, I'll take better care of her, I'll never hurt her or lie to her again, just please! _Ricky paced for an hour. He had called George and Anne on the way to the hospital and he was relieved to finally see them run into the ER just then._

"_Ricky!" Anne called out. "What happened? Do you know what's wrong with her?!" Ricky shook his head._

"_Once minute we were talking and she started coughing and the next she coughed up some blood then passed out." Ricky couldn't hold back his tears any longer and they streamed down his face. He was terrified. The doctor came out with a grim look on his face and walked towards Ricky. He froze, paralyzed with panic and unable to move or breathe._

"_You came in with the young woman named Amy, correct?" He nodded but George jumped in. "Doctor, we're her parents. What's wrong with our daughter?"_

"_Your daughter had blood clots in her lungs and brain. While the clot in her lungs broke free without causing much damage, the clot in her brain burst. The clot was near the area of her brain that controls the muscles of her heart and lungs and when it burst she went into cardiac arrest." The three of them were listening but were only vaguely aware of what the doctor was actually saying until his final words. "We couldn't get her heart to restart or her lungs to re-inflate. I'm sorry but we lost her."_

It was at that moment that Ricky had woken up. He finished drinking his water to soothe his dry throat. _It had felt so real. I don't know what I'd do without her. I made God all these promises. I don't know if he's out there but Amy, I give you my word, I intend to keep them! _

Across town Ruben woke up feeling sad_. It was all a dream._ Turning his head to the right, he saw that his alarm clock read 3:30 AM. He felt dampness beneath his right cheek and placing his hand on his face he realized that he had been crying. He quietly got up, put on his house shoes and robe and went downstairs for a glass of water. Taking a drink, he sat at the kitchen table. Rubbing his eyes, the dream replayed in his mind.

"_Do you like my dress daddy?"_

"_I love it pumpkin." Adrian squealed with delight and ran to her father. Ruben smiled as he watched his five year old daughter run to him and the smile only grew as he scooped her up and walked into the kitchen._

"_Ready to go?" Cindy asked, as she finished packing up their picnic._

"_All set." Ruben held the door as his wife walked out ahead of him and then he locked it behind them. Taking her hand they walked down the short two flights of steps to the ground floor of their apartment building and then walked the block and a half to the park. Cindy and Ruben took turns pushing Adrian on the swings and she laughed and giggled with glee. After watching her go down the slide several times, Adrian declared she was hungry and they sat down to eat their picnic lunch._

"_Adrian!" She turned to see who had called her and frowned before turning back around to continue eating. Ruben looked up and noticed one of her classmates waving at her, even though she was ignoring him._

"_Don't you wanna wave back to your friend?" Cindy asked her._

"_He's not my friend! He's stupid! He said he wouldn't be my friend anymore 'cuz I said I didn't wanna be his girlfriend!" she explained, clearly irritated at the little boy._

"_Why don't you wanna be his girlfriend?" Cindy prodded_

"'_Cuz boys have cooties!" she replied, still with a frown on her face. Ruben and Cindy tried to hide their smiles and not laugh, especially since they could tell Adrian was being serious._

"_I guess the only boy you need in your life is your daddy huh?" She looked at him quizzically and said, "You're not a boy, you're my daddy." Ruben smiled at his daughter's innocence._

"_I love you pumpkin," he said as he leaned down to kiss her forehead, earning a smile from her. She got up to hug him and jumped a little so she could get her arms around his neck and place a kiss on his cheek._

"_I love you too daddy."_

Ruben placed his empty glass in the sink and then made his way to Adrian's bedroom. He quietly opened the door and watched her sleep for several minutes. She shifted in her sleep and some of her hair fell into her face. Ruben walked in with a sad little smile on his face, pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her forehead. A single tear ran down his cheek. He whispered into his sleeping daughter's ear "I wasn't there for you growing up but I'll never abandon you again pumpkin." He made his way back to bed but sleep eluded him. He laid awake thinking about how much of Adrian's life he had missed, how much he regretted hurting someone he loved so much, and how he would ever be able to make it up to her.


	11. Scheduling Conflicts

The day started off like any other morning. Anne and George got ready for work and headed out with Robbie. Ashley was doing whatever Ashley did, and Amy got her and John ready and then took him to the nursery. She was warmly greeted upon entering the lobby.

"Amy! We weren't expecting you back until Tuesday! How was New York? Any jet lag?" Amy couldn't help put chuckle. Diane ran the front desk and always managed to be bubbly and friendly bright and early in the morning.

"Morning Diane. I came home a couple of days early, but jet lag's starting to catch up with me. That's why I'm dropping John off today. His dad has to work and I've got some things I need to do this morning before I can nap and let my internal clock readjust."

"No problem sweetie. Let's get your little guy all checked in and then you get started on that nap. And don't worry about coming back to work until Tuesday." She dropped John off at his playroom and kissed him on the cheek before he scampered off to play. As she drove home she mentally went over her plan of talks for the day and the rest of the weekend. Today she would talk to Ashley, her dad, and her best friends and tomorrow she planned to talk to Ben and then Ricky's parents. It was going to be an emotional afternoon, one she would have to repeat tomorrow. After arriving home she called Ben and left a message, knowing he was at work.

"Hi Ben. I was wondering if you'd be free Saturday afternoon so we could talk. Let me know when you'll be free and I'll come by your house. Talk to you soon." She didn't bother to add 'I love you.' Next she looked up the number for Ricky's parents. She'd asked her dad a while back if he knew their number and he told her he'd written it down in the household phone book. Pulling the small book out of a drawer in the kitchen, Amy found the number and dialed. Margaret picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Amy Juergens."

"Hello, Amy! What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to have a personal conversation with you and your husband and was calling to see if either of you have any time available this Saturday evening to speak with me." Margaret was a little taken aback at both Amy's request and her polite formality. But she knew the best way to get to the bottom of things was to talk about it.

"I'm free Saturday evening, but I'll have to check with Shakur. I'll call you back as soon as I know what his schedule looks like."

"Okay, thank you. I'll talk to you later. Good bye." Margaret stared at the phone for a moment. _Well that was odd. I wonder what's going on with those two._ Margaret wanted to call Ricky and ask what was going on but decided it might be better to hear what Amy had to say first.


	12. Sister to Sister

Hanging up the phone Amy made her way to Ashley's room and knocked. Ashley looked up and merely nodded her head when she saw Amy, giving her permission to enter. Amy closed the door and walked over to Ashley's desk, turning the chair around to face the bed which Ashley was currently laying on sideways, still in her pajamas. She raised an eyebrow as Amy sat down. _Finally, some answers._

"So?"

"I need to talk to you Ashley and this will go a whole lot faster if you skip the wise cracks and give me straight answers. I'll do my best to do the same."

"Okay…" Ashley replied, indicating that she agreed and was now waiting for Amy to start.

"When did you first realize you hated me?" Ashley looked at Amy like she was the biggest idiot on the planet.

"I don't **hate** you. You just irritate me."

"Why?"

"You really wanna know?" Amy nodded her head

"Because you're ridiculous." At Amy's look of confusion she continued. "Amy, you never fight back, you're always trying to make everybody **else** happy, you have little if any self-esteem and you can't see what's right in front of your face."

"What do you mean I never fight back?"

"The instant someone says something that hurts your feelings or does something that makes you cry, instead of standing up and saying how you feel, you back down or just walk away, crying. It's frustrating to try to fight with someone who won't fight back."

"But why do you **want** to fight with me? What exactly have I done that makes you wanna hurt me?" Ashley sighed in frustration.

"And there's that 'can't see what's in front of your face' issue. Amy, you had a baby in high school. Not only did you keep it but you got a job and kept going to school. You have every right to be proud of yourself for being a good mom but you keep letting people make you feel bad about it instead of telling them to take their opinions and attitude and shove it. I've been trying to get you to fight back by picking at you from time to time but all you do is cry and walk away. You've got a serious problem with confrontation."

"Why didn't you just tell me all of that instead of picking at me?"

"Because it's not my job to make you feel good about yourself Amy. That's why it's called **self**-esteem. Until you learn how to stand up to your sibling, someone who's lived with you for years, you're always gonna be a cry baby pushover."

"Okay. If you're not out to hurt me for the heck of it with your words, why do you try to hurt me with your actions?" Now Ashley was confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Stealing the adoption CD out of my jewelry box, telling dad I was a bad mother for considering adoption…" Ashley couldn't think of an answer right away. As she thought about it, Amy asked her another question.

"If you aren't out to hurt me then why haven't you treated me like a sister?"

"What does that even mean Amy?"

"If you're my sister, my family, someone I'm supposed to be able to trust and rely on, why did you not tell me you knew my boyfriend had cheated on me? Why did you kiss my son's father? Why did you **tell** me you had kissed my son's father? Why didn't you send me a text or call me for my birthday?"

"So this is all really about me kissing Ricky and forgetting your birthday?"

"No, Ash. It's about me trying to figure out why my sister dislikes me so much and why she would rather hurt and backstab me than talk to me and have my back. Ash, it feels like you hate me profusely for getting pregnant. I told you everything about that night. You **know** it wasn't planned and that I was terrified I was gonna be a bad mom if I kept my baby. You encouraged and supported me then so what changed?" Ashley just stared at her sister. It wasn't that she didn't love Amy or that they didn't have sisterly moments, it was just that they were two very different people.

"Amy, our approaches to life are just different so parts of your personality annoy me. Sure I get an occasional kick out of messing with you, I mean, what younger sibling doesn't, but that doesn't mean I ever **want** you to be hurt. I've even tried to help you without you knowing it."

"What do you mean?" That was news to Amy.

"Remember when you were supposed to talk to Ricky about adoption and Ben showed up unexpectedly?"

"Yeah."

"That's because I told him to show up."

"Why?"

"Because I could see that while Ricky may have been the dad that was best for the baby, Ben was the guy that was best for the baby's mom. I told him he needed to be there for moral support for you. You needed someone in your corner who cared about you and at the time that someone wasn't Ricky." Amy started to tear up and Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Please don't tell me you're gonna start crying now." She looked at Amy and saw her smiling.

"Probably." They shared a sisterly look before they both laughed. Amy wiped her eyes and continued talking. "Ash, I'm grateful that you've always been on my side and in my corner when I really needed it and I wished I'd known. There have been a lot of times that I've wondered if I mattered to you at all as anything more than a source of amusement or someone to mess with emotionally. I even felt torn for worrying so much about you when it seemed like you couldn't care less about me." That last comment got Ashley's attention.

"Why would you be worried about me?"

"Ash, you were going to be going to Grant the next school year after I'd had John. I was worried that kids might pick on you or make high school uncomfortable because your older sister had been 'that pregnant girl.' I didn't want people picking on my little sister to begin with and I felt even worse knowing that my one night at band camp might cause problems for you." Ashley suddenly found herself tearing up.

"I know I said that I don't hate you hate you but right now I hate you," Ashley said with a giggle. Amy looked at Ashley like she was having a mental breakdown.

"Amy, even when you had the weight of single teenaged motherhood weighing down on you, you found time to worry about someone else. You really are a saint sometimes you know that?" She said it with a smile so Amy knew she wasn't being sarcastic. Suddenly Ashley's laughter dried up.

"I'm sorry for kissing Ricky, Amy."

"Why did you?" Ashley had thought about this very question since it had happened.

"Remember when Ricky took me garage sale shopping?"

"Yeah."

"We'll, we talked as we were driving around and I could see that he wasn't such a bad guy. I also got this sense that he and I had similar personalities and senses of humor and that maybe we could be friends. That was when I started having a bit of a crush on him." Amy nodded, letting Ashley know she should continue. Ashley sighed, knowing Amy would probably hate her for the rest of this but maybe it was time to clear the air completely.

"After you left for New York, we spent a lot of time together simply because we were living in the same house and he gave me rides to and from school and so my crush on him, and our friendship, grew. I realized he and I might have been a couple if he hadn't gotten you pregnant. The two of you never made an effort to get involved romantically and I knew he was only around you because of John. I figured without him Ricky might not want anything to do with you since you weren't interested in sleeping with him, and I was, at the time." She'd been looking at her hands for the last few minutes and finally looked up at Amy with worry in her eyes, only to find Amy smiling, sadly. _That's not the reaction I was expecting._

"What?"

"You're wondering why I'm not mad at you right?"

"The thought crossed my mind."

"Because I've already had and accepted those thoughts, Ash." Ashley, usually the one with the poker face, was stunned. _Huh?_

"When Ricky acted like I didn't exist after that night, I knew I meant nothing to him. When he decided he wanted to be involved in deciding what happened to our unborn child, I knew it was out of some sense of duty or whatever, not because I mattered to him. After John was born and I found out that he was still sleeping around and Adrian was going to possibly be a permanent part of the picture, I knew for sure that he loved only his son, not the idiot he'd gotten pregnant who'd carried his child inside her. I know Ricky only talks to me because he has to and I'd still be invisible to him if it weren't for John. Ash, finding out about the kiss hurt because my sister was trying to build a relationship with someone I was forced to interact with who couldn't care less if I were dead or alive. And knowing my child's father feels that way about me still hurts a little, even now."

"He cares about you, Amy. I just didn't realize how deeply until after I'd kissed him and he decided to go to New York." Now Amy was confused. _Is she actually __**defending**__ Ricky right now?_ Seeing Amy's expression Ashley explained.

"Do you know why I called and told you about that kiss?"

"No."

"He and I were talking and I said I didn't know why everyone was so concerned about your reaction to the news that Ben got Adrian pregnant and she was keeping the baby. Do you know what he said?" Amy shook her head. Of course she didn't know; she hadn't been there.

"He said he didn't know either. All he knew was why he was concerned about your reaction. When I asked him why he was he told me it was because you were the mother of his son, and the person he cared about most next to John." This was the first time Amy had ever heard that Ricky genuinely cared about her feelings or wellbeing. _I'm not sure what to do with that information._ She didn't have time to process it because Ashley wasn't finished.

"I was angry, Amy. I thought Ricky and I had a connection. I thought he was actually interested in me, that my flirting had been reciprocated. Turns out the flirting and witty banter was just creating sexual tension that culminated in a kiss. He may have **wanted** me momentarily but he didn't **love** me. I blamed you, instead of me for being naïve, and lashed out by telling you about our kiss, even though it had happened several days ago."

"Trust me, Ash, I know all about lashing out at other people instead of taking responsibility for your actions and naivety. I was the queen of lashing the first few months after John was born. I was so angry at myself and when combined with the stress of teenaged motherhood and our circus of a family, I lashed out at any and everybody." Amy's face showed that she was taking a trip down memory lane, remembering her bad attitude. Ashley watched her, trying to process what Amy had just told her and what she'd learned since Amy had been in New York. Ashley knew there was always more to people than meets the eye, you just have to take the time to get to know them. She also knew that even though her sister could become a basket case rather easily, she was growing up, maybe a little faster than expected, but she had accepted the reasonability of motherhood and was doing her best. _I need to be a better sister, a better person for that matter._

"Hey Amy?"

"Hmmm?"

"What do you say we make an agreement that from here on out we try to be better sisters? I don't know how we'll do it exactly but I promise to start by not keeping secrets from you or doing things behind your back that might hurt you." Amy smiled. That sounded like a great idea to her.

"Deal. I'll work on getting better at speaking up for myself for my own sake and so I won't irritate you as much."

"Deal." The two sisters stood up and hugged each other, both smiling. Maybe, just maybe, they could have a normal sibling relationship and both finally begin moving forward in their lives. Ashley felt that if they were really going to move forward though, she needed to come clean about a few things.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"In the interest of this pledge to be honest, I should tell you a few things."

"Ok. Like what?"

"Well….I knew dad lied about his vasectomy before he told you and mom and I didn't say anything right away. It was only after we found out mom thought Robbie might be David's that I told dad he had to come clean so mom wouldn't be hurt by marrying someone she wasn't in love with. I'm sorry for making you think the rumors at school about dad were just rumors, even though I knew they were true. I'm also sorry for telling dad about you and Ricky kissing. Adrian had called me saying Ricky was coming over, even though John was asleep already, and asked me to spy on you two. I saw you standing with your arms around his neck and your eyes closed. Ricky saw me but I didn't say anything, just walked away in disgust, and told dad. I know I shouldn't have but at the time I honestly believed Ben was the better guy for you. I'm sorry for spying on you for Adrian." Amy was momentarily upset with Ashley but quickly got over it.

"While I wish dad had come clean about his vasectomy earlier, it really wasn't your secret to tell so I can understand why you didn't say anything right away. As for the kiss, that was a bad call on my part due to low self-esteem but it would've been nice if you'd come talked to me about it before blabbing to dad."

"Why **did** you kiss Ricky? You said it wasn't because you were planning to sleep with him again so what was it?"

"Kissing practice."

"Say what?" Amy chuckled at Ashley's look of disbelief.

"You heard me, kissing practice. Jimmy hadn't called me back after our date, a date I thought had gone pretty well since it ended with a make out session. I talked to Lauren and Madison about reasons he hadn't called me back. I told them about the date and Madison suggested it was because I was a bad kisser. I didn't wanna believe her at first but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed possible. I was in the band room putting away my French horn later and trying to hide my tears, yes I was crying about it, when Ricky came in. He saw that my eyes were red and asked me what was wrong. I asked him if he thought I was a bad kisser and he said no, but everything gets better with practice and, if I wanted, he would practice with me."

"And you bought that?!"

"Not at first."

"What changed your mind?"

"Jimmy still hadn't called me by that night and I was feeling bad about myself so I took Ricky up on his suggestion. The problem was that I felt awkward about it at first."

"So why'd you keep going." Amy shook her head

"Not that actual kissing, the **thought** of going through with it." Amy could tell that Ashley wasn't following her.

"I stood there, with my arms around Ricky's neck, and told him I felt awkward just kissing him again out of the blue. He told me I was overthinking it and that it was just a kiss between friends, it didn't mean anything to either of us. When I still looked doubtful he told me to just close my eyes and he'd do all the hard stuff."

"What hard stuff?"

Amy chuckled and said, with a smile, "Honestly? I have no idea what he meant by that."

"So that must've been the moment I saw you guys."

"Yeah. I should've listened to that awkward feeling but at the time I really wanted to be a better kisser for the next time I made out with Jimmy. It was only after that 'practice session' that I realized the whole thing had been selfish and basically pointless."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, even though Ricky's a good kisser and the kisses were nice, I felt bad about hurting Adrian. She had been trying to become my friend and I hadn't even thought about how hurt and angry she'd be when I told her I'd kissed her boyfriend, and I knew I needed to be the one to tell her. I also realized that I would never be able to trust Ricky completely because he was so willing to cheat on his girlfriend and kiss someone else. Ironically kissing Ricky also gave me a slight self-esteem boost, but not for the reason you'd might think."

"Okay, so why **did** your self-esteem go up?"

"I realized that there was nothing wrong with me. Ricky blew me off after that night at band camp and Jimmy blew me off after our first date, and thankfully we never got past first base. Some guys just aren't interested in having a relationship with me and that's their problem, not mine. I still wanted an answer for exactly **why** Jimmy blew me off, but I decided I was done waiting for him to call me back."

"But did you like kissing Ricky again?"

"Yes and no." Ashley raised an eyebrow in question.

"Like I said, Ricky's a good kisser and it felt nice, but there was no emotion behind it. When Ben kissed me I could tell that he genuinely wanted to be kissing me and that he was attracted to me. When Ricky kissed me, it was just a kiss."

"But what about now, now that you know he actually **does** care about you?"

"I don't know, Ash. I don't know if he cares about me or just has moments when he feels like being nice to the mother of his son, but eventually I'll sit down with him and we'll hash it out."

"Do you think you'd even consider being in a real relationship with him?"

"I don't know yet, Ash. I've still got too many unanswered questions about our 'relationship' to be able to answer that."


	13. Daddy Dearest

Amy and Ashley walked into the kitchen to find her dad rummaging in the fridge. Noticing them out of the corner of his eye, he stood up.

"Hey girls. What are you two up to? Since when do you two hang out?" Ashley just rolled her eyes and Amy shook her head. Amy decided to speak first.

"We needed to have a sister to sister talk. And if you're not busy right now, I need to talk to you too." George raised his eyebrows in question but Amy didn't explain.

"Sure kiddo." _Maybe now I'll get some answers about what's going on._

"Let's go into the living room. And Ash, since secrets don't stay secrets for long around here, you're welcome to join us." George and Ashley followed her and they all got comfortable on the couch. George sat with one ankle resting on his knee while Amy sat cross legged facing George and Ashley sat behind her.

"Dad, I need to ask you some hard and personal questions and I need the truth, all of it. No wise cracks, no sarcasm, no defensiveness, just straight answers." George could tell from her expression and body language that Amy was serious. Considering she rarely initiated confrontational discussions, she now had George's undivided attention.

"Deal?"

"Deal. What's on your mind kiddo?"

"Did you ever love our mother or were you just in love with her?"

"WHAT!? Where'd that come from, Ames!?"

"Just answer the question please, dad."

"Ames, you know I love your mom."

"That wasn't what I asked you."

"Ames, it's not that simple."

"Actually, it is dad. You either love someone and care about their wellbeing or you're just **in love** with someone and once those romantic feelings disappear you don't want anything to do with them anymore, for any reason." George could only stare at his eldest daughter. _When did she become as blunt as Ashley?_

"It's not always that black and white, Ames. Over time people change and so do their feelings for their spouses."

"I know **that**. What I want to know is why you went through with a marriage to someone you didn't love."

"Why are you so certain I don't love your mother?" _No use beating around the bush. The direct approach seems to work best with dad._

"Because your actions have been screaming that you never loved me." George was floored. _How on earth could she think I don't love her!?_ Even Ashley was shocked at Amy's answer.

"Okay young lady you're gonna have to explain that last remark. How did you arrive at that **ridiculous** conclusion!?"

"You're not gonna like my answer, dad, but I need you to let me say what I need to say." George nodded and Amy began her explanation.

"I carried my son inside me for eight and a half months. I was terrified of doing something wrong that could hurt him before he was born and my love for him grew every day, especially once he was developed enough that I could feel him kick and move around. I loved my son unconditionally and wanted him to have the kind of childhood illusion I had growing up. I wanted to be able to provide my baby with a stable, loving home, complete with a father and mother who both loved and wanted him unconditionally. I wanted him to be safe and worry free. I knew I couldn't provide that for my baby as a fifteen year old, unmarried, unemployed teenager. I didn't want to give my baby up for adoption but I loved him so much that I wanted to give him the best life I could, even if that life meant he was raised by another loving couple. When things fell into place so that I could financially and physically be able to care for my baby, I was ecstatic dad. Every day I would be able to see and care for the little person that had grown inside me and I couldn't wait to meet him."

"I held and cared for my son every day after his birth, dad. I've looked at his face, watched his little personality develop and I can clearly see both myself and Ricky in him. I know exactly which physical features and personality traits John got from his father and which ones he got from me. I can clearly see that the person who doesn't care about my wellbeing makes up part of who my son is. It hurts knowing that someone you gave an irreplaceable part of yourself to, and I don't just mean my virginity, doesn't want anything to do with you. But it doesn't stop me from loving him and our son. I wanted to hate Ricky but I can't. It's not because of any romantic feelings I have for him, it's simply because I can't love only half of my baby. John wouldn't be John if he weren't the exact mix of me and Ricky that he is. He wouldn't be the same little boy I've loved and nurtured if anyone else were his father. John is the greatest gift I've ever received and I have Ricky to thank for that. He's an irreplaceable person in my son's life and for that reason alone Ricky is important to me; I care about his wellbeing and what's going on in his life. Even though he doesn't feel the same way about me, I will always love him, even though I don't know if I'll ever be **in love** with him."

"Knowing why I feel about Ricky the way I do makes his attitude towards me that much more hurtful because I don't understand how it works. I don't understand how you can claim to love your child and yet treat your child's mother, the female who gave him or her life, the person whose DNA makes up the other half of your child, so wrong? You either love your child completely or you don't. And that brings me back to you, dad. You tell me and Ashley you love us, but your actions have said otherwise. If you loved us, you wouldn't have hurt our mother by having an affair. If you loved your family you wouldn't have torn it apart with your selfish actions. I understand that people in relationships go through rough patches, but if your relationship's based on genuine love for each other then you work it out, even if you aren't in love with each other anymore; you don't hurt each other and destroy your family. You were able to turn your back on your wife and the children she bore you to obtain whatever it was you were getting from the affair so you obviously don't love any of us enough to do what's in our best interest. A situation like I have with Ricky where a child is raised and cared for by both parents in different homes isn't ideal but it can work. So I'll ask you again. Why did you bother marrying our mother in the first place if you never loved her?"

By this point tears were streaming down Amy's face unabashedly, even though miraculously here voice hadn't wavered at all, and George was silently crying as well. Ashley hadn't realized Amy had been so deeply hurt by their dad and she was crying as well but out of anger. _I never thought of it like that. Does dad really care about our family anymore? Did he ever?_ George didn't answer right away. Instead he bridged the small space between them and pulled Amy into a tight hug. He knew he'd hurt his girls by having an affair but he never dreamed that either one of them, especially emotional, sweet, little Amy would come to the conclusion that his actions meant he didn't love them.

"I never in my wildest dreams thought my actions could or would be seen that way, Ames. I get how you came to the conclusion that I maybe don't love you as much as I should but you're wrong. Ames, the instant the doctor put you in my arms at the hospital I knew I'd go to hell and back to make sure you were safe and had everything you needed in life. And when I held you, Ash, for the first time, I felt exactly the same. All I ever wanted was to be able to protect my girls and provide them with all the basics: safe home, clothes, good food, plenty of toys to keep you happy and occupied. Nothing makes me happier than to see my girls smile." He released Amy, took a breath and continued, his voice wavering slightly.

"Your mother and I were really happy when you girls were little. That wasn't an illusion, Ames. We were truly happy. Towards the end of our marriage we just seemed to stop communicating clearly and to be stressed all the time. I just wanted to go back to those days when we got along but since she didn't seem to like me anymore, I went in search of someone who did. At first I honesty did just talk to Cindy. The affair didn't start right away or anything. It wasn't like I woke up one day and decided to hurt my girls. I have no excuses or explanations as to why I went all the way to a full blown affair and honestly, I need more time to think about it and figure out exactly how I let it happen. All I can say, honestly, is that I do love you girls, completely and unconditionally. I'm sorry if I forgot to say it and show it." He looked at his girls, tears still streaming down his face. They could both see that, maybe for the first time, their dad was overcome with the guilt and regret of his decision to have an affair and for turning his family's lives upside down. There were several minutes of silence as the three of them took a few moments to process everything that had just been said. Amy was the first to speak.

"Dad," George looked up, not sure what was coming next. "Even though I just heard you say you love me and I know you regret hurting our family, why did you sell your house to Adrian's parents? Didn't you know she and I didn't get along?" George hung his head. He knew Adrian had the potential to be a good person but chose more often than not to take the low road because he'd spent some time talking to her while he and Cindy were together. He also knew Amy had only seen Arian's bad side but at this moment defending Adrian would only hurt Amy more.

"I knew she wanted the house so she could spy on you and Ricky. While I knew it might be awkward at first having her as your neighbor, I needed to sell the house and her parents were looking to buy one, so basically I let Ruben and Cindy help me out by buying it."

"But how did she even know you were interested in selling the house?" George hung his head in shame. _Time to come clean._

"She found out from Grace that I'd lied about my vasectomy and that Robbie might be mine and not David's."

"Wait, how did Grace even find that out?!"

"I told her." Amy and Ashley both looked at their father with shock and anger all over their faces.

"Dad!" Ashley said, "How could you tell your ex-wife's daughter before you even confessed that to your wife!?"

"I was trying to cheer up Grace."

"And how exactly does revealing a personal secret to a teenager you have no relation to help cheer her up?" Amy asked.

"I saw her walking home in the middle of the school day and could tell she was upset. I pulled over and we started chatting. She said she felt bad that people were talking about what she'd done and I told her it was nothing compared to what I'd done. She didn't believe me so I told her I'd lied about my vasectomy. I was feeling really guilty and it just came out. At least I could tell by the shock on her face that she wasn't feeling so bad about having had sex anymore."

"DAD!" Amy wailed. Ashley huffed in irritation before saying to Amy, "So that's how the rumors got out around school."

"What?"

"You didn't know, dad?" Amy said sarcastically. "After you confessed to Grace it somehow got out around Grant High that our mom was apparently a slut because she didn't know if her baby was yours or her boyfriend's and the reason she didn't know was because you'd lied about getting a vasectomy." George's eyes got wide with surprise. _Amy knew?_

"Why didn't you tell me that you knew I'd lied?" he asked Amy curiously, but it was Ashley who answered. "Because I covered for you." This time he looked at Ashley with surprise and she explained.

"I came over to see Amy and she told me rumors about your fake vasectomy were floating around Grant. I told her they were just rumors. After all, how would any Grant High students know about something so personal? Amy agreed with me that they were just malicious rumors and asked me not to tell you about them or that Amy had momentarily believed you were capable of stooping that low and lying about something so major." George looked at Amy, regret, guilt, shame and sorrow clearly present in his eyes and face. Ashley looked at her father and shook her head in resignation.

"This family's always gonna be dysfunctional until the lies and secrets stop, dad." Raising her head to look her father squarely in the eyes, she began to tell him about her and Amy's earlier discussion. "When Amy and I were talking earlier this morning I confessed to the secrets I'd kept from her and the lies I'd told her. We agreed to break the cycle, dad, and start being honest with each other and talking about what's bugging us instead of being sneaky and hurting each other. But that's not gonna do us a whole lotta good unless our parents start being honest too. You gotta talk to mom, dad. And I know there's gonna be a lot of tears and shouting but we've gotta get everything out in the open so we can deal with it!" George just stared at Ashley for several seconds.

"When did you become the parent in this relationship?"

"When you started acting like a kid." George smiled a humorless smile. "Touché kiddo," he said. Returning his gaze to Amy, he saw that she was upset and trying hard not to cry.

"Ames, I wasn't trying to hurt your mother by telling Grace. I simply felt like I was in over my head and needed to get my secret off my chest." Amy opened her mouth to respond but George put up a hand, motioning for her to let him finish. "I know that the first person I should've told was your mother. It's just that sometimes when you've told a lie for so long, you're unprepared for what to do when your lie starts to unravel and I ended up doing something stupid, like telling a grieving teenager the truth about my lie."

"Even after deciding to come clean to mom and then trying to reconcile, how did you figure selling the house to the woman you'd had an affair with would be a **good** idea?" Amy asked George, her desire for more answers slowly helping her bring her tears back under control. "You didn't think mom might find it awkward accidentally running into the 'other woman' from time to time, seeing as they would now be neighbors?"

"Your mom and I were trying to reconcile and put the past behind us so no, I didn't feel it would be awkward."

"Were you aware that Adrian went out of her way to make digs and me and mom and try, successfully, to get under my skin?"

"I knew she was jealous of Ricky spending time with you but I didn't know she was going out of her way to bug you." _What did I do? Is Adrian still messing with Ames or have they worked all that out now? Just how much have I been clueless about?_ George leaned his head back on the couch, closed his eyes and sighed.

"I hurt you again by selling them that house, didn't I, Ames?"

"Inadvertently, but, yes." George huffed out a breath, disgusted with himself. He turned his head and looked at Amy for several quiet minutes.

"I've been a horrible father to you girls."

"Not horrible, just selfish and clueless" Ashley said. George could only nod in agreement, having nothing else to add or any defense to offer.

"I haven't exactly helped though." George looked at Ashley confused.

"I mean, with the two of us always siding against Amy and mom, keeping things from them, me stealing things from Amy's room and taking to you about them behind her back. I've helped you hurt Amy **and** mom." Ashley and Amy shared a look before she continued.

"Dad, as part of our agreement this morning to do better by each other we agreed to have each other's backs as well, no matter what. I think everyone in this family needs to make that commitment." George just stared at his two, beautiful daughters before wiping his eyes and smiling.

"How did you two become such smart and mature young ladies?"

"We've been through the school of hard knocks," Ashley replied with a smirk. They looked at each other and started to laugh, finally free of some of the tension of the past.

"Dad, there's one more thing I've always wanted to ask you."

"What's that, Ames?"

"The first time Ricky came over, he said you had talked to him and he made you some promises he didn't think he could keep. When he came back over that night, he said that you and I would like it better if he didn't exist. What **exactly **did you say to him?" George thought back for a moment to that first meeting with Ricky and suddenly frowned, remembering **exactly** what he'd said. _Time really does change your feelings about people._

"Dad?"

"He was hanging out at Cindy and Adrian's apartment when I came in to grab some lunch. Yes, the affair had progressed to the point where I had a key to her apartment and I let myself in. I gave it back to her when the affair ended. I thought he looked familiar and when he introduced himself, I told him that I was your dad and I knew he'd gotten you pregnant. I was furious, Ames. I was furious that some punk had taken advantage of my little girl. I knew you, or at least I knew you pretty well, so I knew sex hadn't been your idea. Anyway, I told him that all decisions about what was going to happen with the baby would be made by you, me and your mom, he got no say. I told him he lost that right when he took advantage of an innocent, fifteen year old girl. I told him that if you opted for adoption, he would sign whatever he needed to sign and if you kept the baby and didn't want him around then he wouldn't be, although he was gonna pay child support for the rest of his life, and even that money didn't entitle him to anything." George's eyebrows suddenly knit together in confusion. "I was surprised when he changed his mind and said he wanted to be involved because he told me he was okay with going along with whatever you wanted. He only raised his voice with me once, at the end of my little talk with him."

"Why'd he raise his voice?"

"'Cuz I insulted him." Amy and Ashley looked at each other surprised. It wasn't like their dad to insult people, at least not to their faces.

"What'd you say?"

"I told him he was a worthless piece of trash."

"DAD!"

"What?"

"You know what his childhood was like! No wonder he changed his mind!"

"Huh?" _Why is she defending him all of the sudden?_

"After everything his dad did to him no wonder he decided to try to do better by his kid than his dad did by him."

"Hang on, I didn't know about his past back then and neither did you. All I knew was that he was some sixteen year old punk who'd hurt my little girl and turned her life upside down." Amy started to tear up again

"You defended my honor, so to speak?"

"Of course sweetheart. I know I've hurt you unintentionally, and that made you think I don't really love you, but I do Ames. And when I find out someone's hurt you and there's something I can do about it, I'm not gonna stand by and let them get away with it." George suddenly came to a decision "And that includes next door neighbors." Amy looked at him confused.

"You told me that Adrian picked at you. Is she still doing it?"

"Not really."

"Yes or no, Ames?"

"She's still trying to stick her nose in my business, but no, she's not putting me down anymore, at least that I know of."

"Well, until she sincerely apologizes and her words **and** actions prove that she's changed her ways, I don't want her to set foot in this house. If you wanna talk to her over the fence, fine, but I don't want her on the property unless we all know she's gonna play nice. Understood?" Both girls nodded.

"I'll talk to your mother about this and let her know too. Sound good?"

"Yeah, and thanks dad."

"Anytime, Ames. Our family comes first." They all stood up and George hugged both of his daughters before they each went to their bedrooms, leaving George alone with his thoughts. George sat back on the couch in silent contemplation. Ashley sat in her room lost in thought as well. _Maybe there's hope for this family yet_ she thought with a smile. Amy, meanwhile, set her cellphone and alarm clock for 12:00 and then took that nap she'd been wanting.


	14. BFFs

Amy's alarm went off promptly at 12:00. Remembering that Lauren and Madison would be coming over soon, she got up and made her way to the kitchen to decide what they'd be making for lunch. As she was rummaging in the fridge, the house phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Amy? This is Margaret."

"Hello."

"I'm calling to let you know that Shakur will be free Saturday evening after 4:30. We discussed it and wondered if you'd like to come over at 5:00 and then stay for dinner."

"That would be fine, Margaret, thank you. I'll see you Saturday at 5:00."

"Alright, Amy. Bye now." As soon as she hung up the phone her cell phone rang. It was Ben.

"Hey, Ben."

"Hi, Amy. I got your message. Saturday afternoon would be great. I get off work at 12:30 so I can come over then."

"That's alright. I'll meet you at your house instead."

"Okay, if that's what you want."

"Listen Ben, Lauren and Madison are on their way over so I need to get off the phone. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Amy. I love you."

"Bye, Ben." She hung up and began to pull items out of the fridge. Ben stared at his phone for a moment. _Why didn't she say 'I love you too'_ he wondered as he finished his lunch. Ricky had overheard Ben's side of the conversation and again found himself angry. _I know she's dating the guy but I need to talk to her too and she's brushing me off 'til Monday!? __**Why**__ does that bother me so much? Oh well, at least I'll see her tonight._ Lauren and Madison knocked on the back door just as Amy finished preparations for their lunch. She smiled and motioned for her friends to come in.

"So how does Caesar salad and mini pizzas for lunch sound?"

"Sounds good to me," Madison said. "Me too," Lauren agreed. They all washed their hands and got ready to prepare their lunch.

"So, how was New York?" Madison asked, slicing up left over chicken breasts for their salads.

"It was so great! There's so many old buildings mixed with skyscrapers and lots of artwork. On the weekends there was so much to see!"

"So what was your favorite building?" Lauren asked, splitting English muffins for their pizzas and arranging them on a cookie sheet.

"Definitely the Radio City Music Hall," Amy replied with a smile as she separated the lettuce for their salads and started rinsing it.

"So what was the program like?" Madison asked.

"Eye opening and encouraging."

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked, now spreading sauce on the split muffins.

"I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted to do with my life and got some perspective."

"Oh?" Lauren said. "Like what?"

"Well, for starters I learned that while I enjoy playing the French horn I don't love it enough or play it well enough to get into the Philharmonic."

"What!? You're a great French horn player, Amy!" Madison assured her friend, now shredding cheese to toss with their salad. Amy chuckled.

"I'm good, I'm just not great. I didn't play in enough competitions or start early enough to be Philharmonic material. But I'm not sad about it. Instead I've decided to become a teacher." Lauren and Madison stopped what they were doing and looked at Amy, asking in unison, "Why a teacher?"

"Going through the program helped me learn to believe in myself and find my voice. I wished that someone had been there to help me do those things during my freshman year and so I wanna teach English and helps kids find their voices, even if it's only through writing, and hopefully help them believe in themselves at the same time." She finished rinsing the lettuce and placed it in a large salad bowl. Madison dumped in the cut up chicken and shredded cheese before asking, "So was that the eye opening part?"

"No," Amy said with a smile. "Part of the program was group discussion sessions. Listening to some of the other girls' stories showed me just how lucky I've been. My family and friends didn't turn their backs and abandon me when they found out I was pregnant and my relationship with Ricky could be a lot worse, or non-existent." Madison added croutons to the salad and began tossing it while Lauren and Amy began adding pepperoni slices to the pizzas.

"So overall you enjoyed the program?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah," Amy said with a genuine smile before asking, "So what have you two been up to while I've been gone?"

"Not much," Madison said with a frown. "We have to work at the food court all summer as punishment for our little sleep over and my dad won't let me see Jack so I've just been texting with Lauren lately or watching TV." She finished tossing the salad and went to put the bowl in the fridge to chill while their pizzas cooked.

"Same here," Lauren stated, as she and Amy finished topping the pizzas with cheese. The buzzer on the stove sounded, letting them know it had finished preheating and Amy put the cookie sheet in the oven and set the timer. Each girl poured themselves something to drink and they sat at the kitchen table.

"So why'd you come back early, Amy?" Madison asked. Amy had anticipated this question and had already formed an answer.

"Well, when Ricky came to see me we had quite a bit to talk about concerning John. On top of that, like I said, the program helped give me a confidence boost and find my voice and I was ready to come home and deal with some issues that needed to be faced." Lauren and Madison shared a look, thinking she was talking about Ben and Adrian. Lauren was brave enough to ask the question they had both been thinking.

"Do you mean Ben and Adrian and their baby?"

"Yes, that's one set of issues but also just my life in general."

"What do you mean?" Madison asked, taking a sip of her juice.

"I mean that I'm tired of all the drama in my life and it's time to do something about it. Namely, removing as much of it from my life as possible."

"And how do you plan to do that? Our little circle of friends is pretty dramatastic," Madison said, smiling at her creative little description. Lauren and Amy both smiled as well. They and their friends **were** pretty dramatastic.

"For starters, I'm trying to figure out who in that circle is actually a close friend, who's an enemy, and who's just more of an acquaintance."

"But we're all sort of friends, aren't we?" Madison asked.

"Think about it, Madison, do friends reveal each other's secrets without permission, gossip about each other behind their backs, keep life-changing or altering secrets from each other or go out of their way to hurt each other?"

"No," she answered, nervous that Amy might still be mad at her for some of the times she had slipped up in the past. Amy knew Madison well enough to know exactly what she was thinking.

"I know what you're thinking and I think it's time to clear the air about all of that." The timer on the oven went off just then and the girls silently worked together to finish putting their lunch together. Madison retrieved the salad from the fridge and got out salad plates. Amy removed the pizzas from the oven and transferred them to a serving platter while Lauren got out plates, napkins and forks for each of them. The girls served themselves salad and pizzas before Amy began.

"Lauren, I know Jason was the one who spilled the beans about my pregnancy at school." Lauren's eyes got wide with panic, but Amy just shook her head so she wouldn't speak.

"I went over to your house to ask your mom why she felt my pregnancy was ground to terminate our friendship and I ran into Jason after talking to her. He admitted you'd gone to him for medical advice and he later spilled the beans in the guys' locker room to his football teammates. I know you well enough to know you were just trying to help. You didn't know your brother was a blabber mouth." Lauren sighed in relief but looked down for a moment, guilty.

"I'm sorry I lied to you though Amy. You asked me if I'd told anyone and said no." Madison started crying and Amy looked in her direction.

"I lied too, Amy, sorta" she said tearfully. "Alice and Henry overheard me and Lauren say that you had had sex with Ricky. We didn't know they'd told anyone until we found you in the bathroom the next day and you let us know that people were talking about you and Ricky." She took a breath to sniff and wipe her eyes before continuing, a little less tearfully. "But we confronted them right away for telling Ben. They told us they **had** to tell Ben because when you know something big like that about your best friend's significant other you were obligated to tell them."

"Yeah," Lauren agreed. "We also asked them if there was anything big about Ben that we should know about and pass along to you but they said no. We had your back, Amy; we still do." Amy smiled at her two best friends.

"I know you guys are on my side. You told me about Ben and Maria when my own sister didn't, you've babysat in a pinch, and you've been there to listen to me rant," Amy said the last line with a smirk. Lauren and Madison smiled back at her. They finished eating their lunch in comfortable silence and then got up and cleaned their dishes. That done, they headed up to Amy's bedroom.

"There's something else we need to talk about." Lauren and Madison exchanged nervous glances as they entered Amy's bedroom but they were momentarily distracted by the change in the room.

"What happened in here, Amy? It' looks like you're moving out," Laruen noted, glancing from Amy's desk to her bookshelves. They all sat on Amy's bed before she explained.

"I said I wanted to remove the drama in my life and I started by removing unnecessary junk from my bedroom. Anyway, I need to talk to you two about some issues we have with honesty and respect."

"What do you mean?" Madison asked.

"I mean that I need to know both of you will always be upfront and honest with me from now on and respect my wishes." Lauren and Madison looked at each other confused. _When haven't we been upfront or been disrespectful?_ They turned back to face Amy but she answered their unspoken question before they could ask it.

"You guys don't do it all the time but you've done it a couple of times. For instance, I didn't know the two of you felt neglected and resentful of me when I started dating Ben until a few days before my baby shower. If you had a problem with my boyfriend, you should've come to me instead of talking about me amongst yourselves and secretly holding a grudge against me." They both opened their mouths to protest but Amy continued. "Then there was Lauren's conversation with Ricky about how little sympathy she felt towards me for getting pregnant coupled with her little outburst that I'd gotten pregnant because I was stupid. And let's not forget that the two of you somehow found out about my illegal wedding and showed up uninvited." Madison looked from Lauren to Amy with confusion before facing Amy to try and explain her actions.

"Amy, it wasn't like that. With Ben we knew he cared about you and you loved him and needed someone to be there for you when we couldn't. We just didn't wanna come between the two of you and make you unhappy. And you were pretty unhappy most of the time when Ben wasn't around." Lauren nodded in agreement.

"And I never said you were stupid! We talked about that kiss, Amy. I thought we'd moved past it?"

"It wasn't the fact that you'd kissed him, Lauren. It was the fact that you were talking to someone I couldn't trust **about** me instead of first telling **me** to my face how you felt. I didn't know how you felt until after I confronted you about what you'd done with Ricky after he threw it back in my face."

"Huh?"

"We were talking about the rumors about Adrian and Mr. Mollina's disappearance and he mentioned that not all rumors about people were true. I told him it wasn't a rumor he'd gotten my pregnant. He shot back that the way I'd said that made it sound like I was blaming him even though it had been my fault too and that you agreed with him. I asked him what he meant by that and he just smirked and told me he didn't kiss and tell." Lauren had the grace to look ashamed.

"Lauren, you've always told me the truth, what I needed to hear and not just what I wanted to hear and I've always appreciated you for that. Finding out you'd told Ricky how you felt about my situation behind my back is what hurt, not **what** you said to him."

"Amy," Madison whined, "I'm sorry I haven't been the kind of best friend I should've. It's just that finding out your best friend's pregnant and then trying to be there for her and help her the best way you know how isn't easy. Sometimes I slipped up; I didn't do it on purpose and I certainly didn't mean to hurt you. You're one of my best friends. Lauren and I even made a pact to be better best friends before our sophomore year. We made it our mission to make sure Ben and Ricky both did right by you and if they didn't we'd tell you right away." Lauren nodded her agreement.

"We know we messed up, bad, and all we wanted to do was make it up to you. We've been friends too long to just end our friendship, not that we want to," Lauren said, looking to Madison for agreement. Seeing her nod Lauren continued, "And I'm sorry for crashing your wedding. I didn't mean to disrespect you I just wanted to share such a momentous occasion with you. I knew we didn't deserve to stand beside you as your maids of honor so at the very least I wanted to be there for you as one of your bridesmaids."

"How did you guys find out about the wedding anyway?"

"Joe," they said in unison before Madison went on to explain. "He offered a deal where if you bought a fake I.D. he'd give you the address and time for your and Ben's wedding." _So Joe's a blabbermouth too. Or maybe just a greedy opportunist._ "We meant no disrespect Amy. Even Jason got on our case when we tried to figure out why we hadn't been invited. He could tell it was because, at the time, you couldn't trust us to keep your secrets, and that hurt a little. I mean, we hadn't set out to hurt our best friend but we did and ended up not being officially invited to her wedding. I'm so sorry, Amy."

"Me too," Madison added, tears attempting to fall from her eyelashes again. Amy looked at her two best friends and remembered all the things they'd been through since the third grade. She sat there staring at them for several minutes, which made them so uncomfortable they hung their head. Amy mentally weighed the good versus the bad and felt that she could honestly forgive her besties their grievances.

"We've been through too much together for too long to just end our friendship now." Lauren and Madison looked at her, relief clearly written all over their faces. "I'd still like to have you both as my best friends I just need you to promise me something."

"What?" they said in unison.

"From now on we'll talk about anything that's bothering us in our friendship openly and honestly and keep each other's secrets, like best friends should. Deal?"

"Deal," they again said in unison, only with a smile this time. They shared a group hug and laughed, glad the air was a little clearer between them. They spent the next couple of hours catching up some more and talking about whatever came to mind, rebuilding their bonds of friendship and trust.

Lauren and Madison left a little after 3:15 and Amy spent some time emailing some of the new friends she'd made while attending the program. A short while later there was a knock at her bedroom door.

"Come in." It was her mom.

"Hi, sweetie. I need to ask you a question and apologize."

"Huh?" Anne sighed and sat down on Amy's bed, motioning her Amy to join her and she did so. Anne put her arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday honey."

"Oh mom…"

"Let me finish please. I was so excited about remarrying your dad and putting our family back together, so to speak, that I forgot how our little family got started in the first place. I'm so ashamed that I was able to forget to celebrate the little girl who transformed her father and I into a family. Can you ever forgive me sweetie?"

"Mom, I **was** sad when no one remembered my birthday but I realized that you and dad letting me go to New York was an even better and more meaningful gift."

"Be that as it may sweetie, as your mother I just can't let it go that easily. You're my baby and I'm glad all of my babies are in my life and I feel like such a horrible mother for getting her child's birthday. After realizing what I'd done, your father suggested we throw you a belated little family party when you got back. We'd planned to have the dinner Monday night, assuming you'd spend most of that day sleeping off the jet lag, but we heard you say you were going to talk to Ricky Monday night so I came to ask you if you'd like to have your birthday dinner on Sunday or Tuesday night instead?" Amy thought about it and realized that, if everything went according to plan, her mom might not feel like celebrating on Sunday.

"Tuesday night would be better."

"Okay then. And again, honey, I'm so sorry."

"Really, mom. It's okay." Anne kissed her forehead and then got up to leave her bedroom. "Dinner should be ready by the time you come back home with John. We're having pork steaks tonight!" Amy smiled at her mother's back as she left the room and headed downstairs. _I'm so much like her at times. Always worrying about upsetting or offending other people. It's really okay, mom. I'm really no longer upset about my birthday. True I'm curious to know how each of my family members managed to forget that date, but the fact they did isn't weighing me down anymore._ Amy went back to her emails, looking at updated pictures of her friend's kids before getting on Facebook and killing time before going to pick up John.


	15. Late Nights & Early Mornings

It had been a long day for Ricky. After hearing during his lunch break that Amy would be talking to Ben tomorrow he'd managed to stay focused only because he didn't want to have to face the wrath of Bunny. Now that his shift was done for the day he was sitting on the couch in his apartment, all cleaned up from work but not feeling very hungry. He knew he needed to eat something before picking up John from Amy's but nothing in the fridge, freezer, or cupboards had seemed appealing. Instead he sat there on the couch, occasionally checking his watch waiting for time to creep closer to John's bedtime. _Why does it bother me SO much that Amy doesn't want to talk to me? Why did I have that dream after she assured me she was okay? I mean, she called me as soon as she listened to my message to __**tell**__ me she was fine so why the dream? And how on earth am I supposed to keep my promises to her if she won't talk to me and tell me what's going on!?_ He replayed their conversation from that night in his mind again, trying to figure out what words or phrases he'd spoken that caused Amy to get lost in thought. Try as he might, he couldn't pin down exactly what he'd said that had triggered the drastic end to that conversation. He glanced at his watch and was thankful that it was finally 7:15. He knew it wouldn't take him that long to get to Amy's and if he left now he'd be there early, but he decided to leave then anyway. His thoughts were on Amy the whole drive to her house and he was still wondering about her as he rang the front doorbell. Anne opened the door.

"Hello, Ricky. A little early aren't we?"

"Maybe a little." Try a whole half hour. Anne welcomed him in and he sat down on the couch, not trusting himself to go up to Amy's room and have small talk with her. Especially since he knew if he tried he might not be able to stop himself from trying to get her to talk about what he actually wanted to talk to her about. Instead he opted to silently sit on the couch for the next twenty minutes or so. Amy came downstairs and went to place John in his playpen when she spotted Ricky sitting on the couch.

"You're early." Ricky was startled; he hadn't heard her walk in.

"A little." He looked at John and saw that he was already dressed in his pajamas and was happily spinning the wheels on his toy truck, oblivious to what was going on around him. Ricky couldn't help it. Seeing his son always made him smile and this was no exception. Amy sat John down on the couch next to Ricky and went upstairs to grab his overnight bag. She returned moments later and handed the bag to Ricky without a word. He took it from her and she stooped to scoop up John once again.

"You be a good boy for daddy, okay?" She kissed his forehead but he continued to ignore her, entranced with his toy truck's wheels. Amy just chuckled before handing him to Ricky, who was now standing, ready to take John for the weekend. Their hands brushed as she handed Ricky their son and that simple contact made him smile. She walked him to the door and held it as he walked out.

"See you Sunday."

"See you Sunday, Amy." Ricky turned and walked towards his car. He turned back to look at Amy for a moment but she had already shut the door and his spirits sank just a little. He quickly buckled John in his car seat and made his way back to his apartment. Dinner at the Juergens household was a subdued affair, with everyone seemingly in their own head space. Anne looked around the dinner table curiously.

"Is there something going on that I should know about?" Three heads suddenly swiveled in Anne's direction, confusion written all over their faces. Anne smirked.

"You all seem to be deep in thought. Is there anything any of you want to share? After all, families are supposed to talk to each other at the dinner table." George was the first to respond.

"We've just got a lot on our minds tonight I guess. I can't speak for the girls but I've been doing some soul searching and I'll tell you about it in a few days." Anne was now very curious as to what was on George's mind, but he'd asked for some time to think about things so she'd let it go, for now. Dinner finished in silence.

Back at Ricky's apartment, John went to sleep quickly. _Little guy must've had a busy day at the nursery_. Still not hungry, Ricky quickly got ready for bed himself. He finished up some homework he still had, just to pass the time, and went to bed just before 10:00. He didn't fall asleep right away. Instead he turned to his side and faced John's crib, watching his son sleep peacefully. He finally drifted off to thoughts of his son. But sleep would elude him once again as he found himself wide awake at 2:00 AM, his face wet with tears. _Not another one._ He rolled onto his back and wiped his face with his hands. He closed his eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep but instead, the dream replayed in his head

"_Daddy?"_

"_Yes, John?" Ricky replied without looking at his son, busy cutting up apples for their lunch._

"_Why don't I have a mommy again?" Ricky sighed as he finished cutting the last apple and turned to look at his son. John had been asking him that question on and off for the past few months now._

"_John, I've told you. Your mommy got sick and had to go the hospital but she was so sick the doctors couldn't help her and she died." Every time Ricky told this to John he started to tear up. He missed Amy so much. He put the apples on their plates alongside their chips and sandwiches and carried them to the kitchen table and John climbed into his seat._

"_And she loved me a lot, right?" John asked, picking up and eating one of his apple slices._

"_Yes, John. Your mommy loved you more than you'll ever know." Ricky just stared at his three year old son with sadness in his eyes. He knew what was coming next. They had had this conversation many times over the past few months._

"_What was mommy like?" For some reason Ricky never described Amy quite the same way to John because each time the question was asked, Ricky found some new words or ways to describe to John how wonderful his mother had been, and this time was no different. As if my magic or divine intervention, words to describe Amy just came to Ricky._

"_Your mom was a beautiful, kind hearted, sweet woman who wanted nothing more than for her friends and family to be happy. She was a hard worker with a lot of patience. She had a lot of love to give and she loved you with all her heart. Her face would light up like a Christmas tree every time she saw you, held you, kissed you, heard you laugh, and saw you smile. You were mommy's pride and joy and she made sure no one ever hurt you so you'd always be safe and happy. Mommy had a gorgeous smile. It was so perfect that every time I saw it I couldn't help but smile too. If your mommy was sad or upset I did whatever I could to try to make her smile again. Mommy was smart and sweet and loved music. I could watch mommy play her French horn for hours and not be bored. Your mommy was as perfect as an angel."_

"_Do you miss mommy?"_

"_Every day," Ricky replied without hesitation._

"_Do you think she misses me?"_

"_Every day buddy." Ricky picked up his sandwich to start eating his lunch, knowing that in the past this was always John's last question about his mother._

"_Daddy?"_

"_Yes, son?" John started to sniffle, causing Ricky to look up in surprise. He knew John missed his mother but talking about her these past few months had never made his cry. Ricky scooted his chair back, reached over and pulled John onto his lap, and hugged him close._

"_I miss her too." Ricky couldn't help but cry for himself and his son as he comforted John by slowly rocking him and rubbing his back. John had only been a toddler when his mother was taken away from him. His only memories of her were the photos and videos he and her family had of her and John together. He, on the other hand, had spent time with her for nearly two years and he still missed her dearly. _I don't know how I'm gonna keep it together for the both of us. We both just miss her too much.

Ricky laid in bed, crying fresh tears. _Amy means more to me than I realized if I'm dreaming about her. Especially if I'm describing her so vividly to our son. How did this happen? __**When**__ did this happen? Amy has always been important to me. I've always cared about her differently than I've cared about anyone else because she's the mother of my son. But when did I start to __**need**__ and __**miss**__ her?_ The answer suddenly came to him: _New York. I started to miss her half way through her program. __**That's**__ why I went to see her._ Ricky finally managed to drift back to sleep, for several hours. John woke up bright and early at 6:30, ready to play.

Ricky dragged himself out of bed and got himself and John dressed before heading to the kitchen to make them some breakfast. John, ever the happy baby, sat in his high chair happily playing with his truck and squealing with delight. Despite his lack of quality sleep the night before, Ricky smiled, glad his son was so happy and carefree. _I have Amy to thank for that_ he thought as he finished scrambling his eggs. Their breakfasts completed, he had to wrestle the truck away from John so he could place John's breakfast on his tray. John protested for a few minutes but his hunger got the better of him and he settled down to eat his breakfast after only a few minutes of crying. Ricky enjoyed his breakfast and bemusedly watched John enjoy his. Checking his watch he saw that it was almost time to get going. He put the dishes in the sink and grabbed John's diaper bag before picking John up out of his high chair, remembering to give him back his new favorite toy. John squealed with delight at being reunited with his toy truck and Ricky headed downstairs to his car. After securely buckling in his son, Ricky drove to his parent's house to drop John off with his mother for the morning.

"Hi sweetheart!" Margaret greeted him, already holding out her arms for John. Ricky smiled and deposited the little boy in his grandma's loving arms.

"And how's my favorite grandson this morning?" John only spared her a glance before returning his attention to his truck.

"Full of energy, as usual, and oddly attached to his toy truck today" Ricky replied with a smile. They went into the house and Ricky placed John's diaper bag on the kitchen table while Margaret placed John in his playpen, which she'd temporarily moved into the kitchen because she had some baking to do.

"Hey mom?"

"Yes?"

"When I get off work today can we chat for a few minutes?"

"Of course. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just need some womanly advice, that's all." Ricky checked his watch. He kissed his mother on the cheek, kissed his son on the head, and headed off to work.


	16. First Love

Ricky arrived at the butcher shop and was met by an antsy, nervous Ben. _It's too early for this_ Ricky thought but decided to see what Ben wanted to talk about and get it over with. He had enough on his mind without wondering about Ben's problems today.

"What, Ben?"

"Did Amy seem upset or unhappy when you saw her last night?"

"No. Why?"

"Just trying to figure out how mad she is at me before we talk this afternoon." Ricky rolled his eyes.

"Ben, you knew she was upset with you when she stopped taking your calls a couple weeks ago. She'll tell you how she feels about everything when you talk to her. Until then, you might as well not worry about it." Ben nodded, but Ricky could tell he was still worrying. He simply sighed and got to work. The day passed quickly for Ben simply because he knew at the end of it he would finally get to see Amy again. It had been a long four weeks. Ben practically ran out of the butcher shop at the end of his shift and jumped in his car, eager to get home. Amy was already there when he arrived. He found her in the living room.

"Hi, Amy!" he greeted her cheerfully.

"Hi, Ben." She didn't waste any time on small talk. "Go ahead and get changed and then we'll talk." He nodded and dashed upstairs for a quick shower and wardrobe change. He was back downstairs in just under twenty-five minutes. Amy couldn't help but chuckle a little at his eagerness.

"So do you wanna talk in here or we could go up to my bedroom?"

"Your bedroom would be fine." They made their way upstairs and Amy sat on his bed as he closed the door behind them before joining her. He reached to give her a kiss but she pulled away.

"We need to talk Ben and I need you to be completely open and honest with me, no matter what." He pulled back and sighed. _She's still mad at me_. He decided to jump right in with an apology.

"Amy, I'm sorry I didn't tell you Adrian was pregnant sooner. It's just that…"

"We'll get to that Ben," Amy interrupted him, "but that's not what I wanna talk about first." She'd gotten Ben's attention and he quit talking. "Ben, why did you decide to ask me out?" _Where's that coming from?_

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that out of all the girls in our school, why did you notice and ask out **me**?" Ben thought back and realized Amy wasn't going to like the answer, but maybe he could soften the blow if he explained himself as well.

"Alice pointed you out to me at first, but during our date we talked and I became smitten with you…" Amy didn't give him a chance to finish; his answer made her wonder about something.

"Why'd Alice point me out to you?" Ben looked at the ceiling and groaned.

"You're not gonna like the answer, Amy." She waited for him to continue.

"You know how Alice knows a lot of facts about sex?" Amy nodded. "Well, I told her I didn't want to spend my entire high school experience as a virgin and asked her who she thought would be willing to sleep with me."

"Why didn't you pick out some girl yourself?"

"Um," he began, swallowing past the lump in his throat as he remembered that fateful morning in the hallway. "Because I was interested in Grace but Alice told me I had no chance since she was a Christian with a boyfriend back then."

"So why'd Alice pick **me**?" Ben sighed, remembering Alice's logic for picking Amy. Be still couldn't bring himself to look Amy in the eye as he told her the truth.

"She told me she knew that you were nice, a band geek, and a little shy and so you might just be desperate enough to sleep with me. But after I got to know you a little on our date I wasn't even thinking about having sex with you anymore; I wanted you to be my girlfriend." Amy was shocked and hurt. _So I was supposedly just a 'sure thing' __**and**__ not his first choice? I went out with another Ricky!? _She closed her eyes to get her emotions and thoughts in check. _Flying off the handle won't do any good. We need to get to the bottom of what happened to us. I think it's time for me to make a few confessions of my own_. Ben watched her apprehensively. _How mad is she about this?_ Amy opened her eyes and looked straight at Ben.

"Do you know why I agreed to go out with you?"

"No." He had sometimes wondered that himself.

"I was looking for a temporary distraction." At Ben's questioning look she explained. "I had gone to see my doctor that afternoon, without my parents' knowledge, to confirm my suspicions and she told me I was pregnant. I had spent the rest of that day trying to wrap my head around the fact I was having a baby and figure out how to tell my parents when you called me. I figured distracting myself for one night might give me a little more time to figure it out." Ben was surprised to find out they had both gone on their first date under false pretenses but he knew how scared she'd been back then and he could understand why she'd done it, but he **was** curious about something.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant **after** our first date?"

"Because I still wanted to be distracted, at first, and didn't believe our relationship would last long."

"What do you mean 'at first'?" Amy sighed. She felt kind of weird telling this to Ben before Ricky but since both guys had been affected by her decision they both had a right to understand why she'd done it.

"Ben, I had sex with a guy who I honestly believed when he said he was interested in me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. When he acted like I didn't exist after our night together at band camp, it was a HUGE blow to my self-esteem. You remember that I told you after you proposed that I felt like such a slut for having sex with Ricky?"

"Yeah…"

"I didn't understand why a guy who seemed so nice, who'd said he liked me and thought I was attractive, would treat me like that. When you decided you wanted to date me, I honestly believed it wouldn't last. I figured we'd go on a few dates and once you found out I was pregnant you'd walk away from me too, so what was the harm in putting off reality for a little while. It wasn't until you told me you loved me and promised to stay by my side no matter what that I started to fall in love with you too." Ben couldn't help but smile at Amy's last admission. _So she's still in love with me?_

"So there's still hope for us."

"What do you mean?"

"You just said you fell in love with me. And since you didn't say you've fallen out of love with me, then there's still hope that you'll forgive me for getting Adrian pregnant, one day." Amy looked at Ben sadly. After that first morning of putting Ben's name in the enemy column, she'd been carefully dissecting her and Ben's relationship. She'd come to the conclusion she couldn't be in a relationship with him anymore but they would get to that by the end of this discussion.

"Ben, there's a lot more we need to talk about and some things I need to confess before we talk about Adrian's pregnancy." Ben looked worried now. _What kind of things?_

"Do you know why I was in such a rush to marry you illegally?"

"Because you loved me and wanted us to be a family before John was born." Amy shook her head. "Then why **did** you want to marry me? It **was** your idea to do it without our parents' consent, remember?"

"I was scared and in love." She could tell she had lost Ben with that answer.

"Ricky had been sweet to me at band camp. We talked easily and he seemed genuinely interested in me and my life. But when he blew me off, I began to doubt that I really was a nice, pretty girl that any guy would wanna go out with. And then you came along. You stood by me, had my back, defended my honor, listened to me, encouraged me, made me feel like everything was gonna work out and be okay, and you made me feel special. With the way you treated me and cared about me, I thought to myself 'so this is what it feels like to be loved by a guy.' You were so wonderful to me I couldn't help but fall in love with you and love the person that you were. When it seemed like adoption wasn't going to work out, I was terrified. I didn't know how to be a good mother at fifteen and I certainly didn't believe I could take care of my baby by myself since I didn't have a job, and honestly didn't want one. I was scared that I would end up being a bad mother if I didn't have someone by my side to take care of me while I took care of my baby. On a less selfish note, I also wanted to give my baby a stable home complete with two loving parents. You loved me and I loved you, or so I believed at the time, and I didn't wanna raise my baby alone." Ben was trying very hard to hide his surprise and smile at Amy's declaration of love, but something she'd just said caught his attention.

"What do you mean 'or so you believed at the time'?"

"I later came to see that while we were in love with each other while we were dating, we didn't love each other as deeply as we should've."

"Amy! I married you! I was there by your side during your entire pregnancy. After everything we've been through together how can you say that we didn't love each other!?"

"Maria and Jimmy."

"Maria and Jimmy?" Amy nodded and Ben sighed. "Amy, the whole Maria escapade was a colossal mistake and I swear I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you." Amy shook her head again and spoke just as Ben opened his mouth to continue apologizing.

"Ben, do you know why I didn't want you to go to Bolgna?" Ben swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.

"Yes."

"And what was the reason?"

"You thought I'd cheat on you." Amy shook her head, causing Ben to look at her in disbelief.

"It had nothing to do with the possibility of you cheating on me; that was just the reason I gave to hide my real fears." _Fears? What fears?_

"What fears, Amy?"

"Do you remember what my family life was like back then?" Ben thought back to all the drama that had been going on with her parents and nodded.

"I felt alone at home, Ben. My mom had to go back to work to support me, John and herself since she and my dad got divorced and he and Ashley moved out, so she was working long hours and tired at the end of the day. She and my dad were still bickering, trying to figure out how to raise two teenagers even though our family was now split between two houses. I was too tired from caring for John, going to school and working to have a lot of free time to spend with my best friends or my boyfriend. And on top of that the one person I really didn't want anything to do with was constantly around so he could spend time with his son. The only bright spots in my life were you and John. If you left for the summer there would be no one around for **me**. My parents and friends were busy living their own lives, my sister and I hadn't gotten along for some time and Ricky was a constant reminder of one big reason my life was so stressful. I know it was selfish; I just wanted someone to be there for **me** and you were the only one who was. When you stopped calling me from Bolgna it really hurt me, Ben. I felt even more alone." Ben hung his head in shame and regret.

"Amy, I didn't realize how much you depended on me back then. And now I feel even worse because I was excited to be going away for the summer. I wanted a break from the awkward little love… well, relationship triangle you and I were in with Ricky. I wasn't trying to hurt you. Although, I was hurt too when you didn't tell me about Ricky sleeping over and I was too angry with you to call you those last couple of weeks."

"If you knew about Ricky staying over sometimes, why didn't you just tell me how you felt about it?"

"Why didn't you tell me about it yourself?" _If we're being honest here than I want some answers too_. He expected Amy to look ashamed for keeping that information from him but she didn't.

"It was an embarrassing fact that I saw no reason to bring up since nothing inappropriate had happened."

"What do you mean embarrassing?"

"Ben, how did John come into this world?" _That's kind of a stupid question _he thought but answered it anyway.

"You gave birth to him."

"Exactly. I carried him inside me and gave birth to him. But you know what? Ricky was better at calming him down and getting my baby to fall asleep than I was and it hurt, both my feelings and my pride. A child's mother should know how to soothe that child and I was horrible at it. It took me hours whereas John would calm down the minute Ricky held him. Some nights that summer John was just fussy and he and I would have to work together, taking turns rocking him, to get him to go to sleep so Ricky would crash on the living room couch. And since John wasn't sleeping through the night yet, it was helpful to have another person there who could help me take care of John. After all, my dad and Ashley had taken off on a cross country trip, you were in Europe, my best friends couldn't be out that late, and my mom was busy taking care of herself since she was then a pregnant working woman. I told you that night at Geoffe's after you got back that I'd asked Ricky not to say anything and I did that because, like I said, I was embarrassed about what a terrible mother I seemed to be."

"Oh, Amy. I overreacted. I should've just asked you about it instead of letting my jealously get the best of me and just not talking to you."

"We'll come back to that jealousy comment. What I'd like to know is why you were talking to Adrian about me instead of just talking to me yourself. You told me at Geoffe's that she was the one who told you about Ricky sleeping over."

"Well, at the time I didn't see a problem with talking to Adrian since she and I were kinda the third wheels and it was nice to talk to someone who understood how I was feeling."

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it, Amy. I was dating you and she was dating Ricky but the two of you spent time together and had private conversations about John because you had to, for John's sake. I had no right to interfere with that and neither did she because you and Ricky are John's parents. And honestly that made me a little jealous."

"Ben, here's what I don't understand about your jealousy of Ricky. You knew I was having another guy's baby. In fact, it's why we took a break shortly after we started going out, remember? You said you needed to think about whether or not you really wanted to be in a relationship with me with Ricky in the picture too." Ben thought back and remembered the day he saw Amy and Ricky hugging in the hallway. "If you still couldn't handle that reality, why did you decide to stay with me?"

"Because I still loved you and thought I could handle our complicated relationship."

"And what about your jealousy towards Ricky? How did you plan to deal with that?" Ben thought back to his and Ricky's conversations about Amy during her pregnancy.

"Well, at first I tried to get him out of the picture but when that didn't work, he and I came to a truce." Amy raised an eyebrow.

"Why did you think it was best for my baby to completely remove his biological father from the picture and how exactly did you try to get him **out** of the picture?" she asked, slightly irritated at this new revelation.

"Well, he was going to try and steal you away from me for some reason I couldn't figure out yet and I knew it wasn't because he was in love with you. So, I told him he didn't have the money to provide a good life for you or John so he should back off."

"First of all, I'm not some piece of property that can be stolen. Second, neither one of us had the money to provide a good life for John, which is why I was looking for adoptive couple. Third, what made you so sure Ricky was trying to 'steal me' in the first place?"

"Before you had John I asked Ricky, point blank, if he was stepping up because he was after you or just the baby. He told me he was after both of you," Ben gave a mirthless chuckle before adding, "and he even said he planned to win my dad to his side too after we started working together. As long as Ricky was around, he was a threat to our relationship. There wasn't much I could really do though because no matter how much I loved John and thought of him as my own son, even if you and I became husband and wife in the future, Ricky would always be part of the picture because he's John's biological father. Loving John like my son didn't make him mine, no matter how bad I wanted him to be."

"So if you were still upset about our situation and secretly wanted Ricky out of the picture, why did you come to a truce with him in the first place?"

"At first it was because we both wanted you to keep the baby and we knew you probably wouldn't if we couldn't find a way to get along. At the hospital we realized that we had a difficult situation to deal with. He wanted to be there for his son, I loved you, you loved me, and you were willing to let Ricky be a father to his son. The best thing for the three of us to do for John was to get along as best we could."

"How do you know he wanted me to keep John?" Ben thought back to that conversation in the butcher shop their first day of work.

"Our first day of work Ricky told me we needed to get along better because he wanted you to keep John and I told him that I did too. Remember? We came to your house that night Grace offered you a job we told you we were going to try to be friends." Amy remembered that night vividly. _So if Ben was no longer jealous of Ricky, what changed Ben's mind about us over that summer?_

"If you no longer saw Ricky as a threat to our relationship, how'd you go from being in love with me to cheating on me with Maria?" _And we're back to her._ She could tell from the look in his eyes he was weighing whether or not to come clean because he was afraid of her reaction. She decided to throw him a bone. "Just tell me, Ben. We're never gonna completely clear the air between us if we don't get everything out in the open."

"I wanted to feel normal." Now it was Amy's turn to look puzzled. Ben sighed, knowing she probably wasn't going to understand how he'd felt back then.

"Amy, I was a sixteen year old step-father, so to speak, dating a girl who couldn't go out and do typical teenage activities very often because she was tied down with a baby. A perfect little boy I loved dearly mind you," he quickly added, "it was just that I wanted to feel like any other teenager, without any serious responsibilities and the freedom to just cut loose and have some fun. I just wanted to have some fun." Ben looked at her face, searching desperately for an ounce of understanding. He found it when she gave a small, albeit sad, smile.

"Ben, I know what that feels like, both from your point of view and in reverse. There have been plenty of times I've just wanted to go hang out with my girlfriends and do all the stupid, pointless activities we enjoy so much but I knew I couldn't because my son came first, and will for the rest of my life. I've also experienced feeling left behind because I'm a teenaged mother." Ben didn't hide his look of surprise and Amy chuckled.

"You remember that perpetual bad mood I was in after John was born?" Ben nodded. "Part of it was because I could see my friends and acquaintances moving on with their lives, doing whatever they wanted to do and all I could do was watch from the sidelines, unnoticed by the rest of the world because my main concern was my son. My entire world changed when I made the decision to keep my baby and it **wasn't** an easy adjustment." Ben suddenly felt a sour taste in his mouth. Maybe if he'd simply spent a little more time talking to Amy and listening to what she'd said, and also what she wasn't saying, he could've done more to ease her stress.

"When I found out you'd cheated on me with Maria, it made me realize that you didn't love me as much as I loved you." Ben turned to face her and opened his mouth to protest but Amy continued. "Ben, if you had loved me as much as I did you, you would've chosen to spare my feelings and break up with me instead of cheating on me because while breaking up might've hurt me for a little while, finding out after the fact that someone I loved had **chosen** to both cheat on me and then lie about it hurt even worse." Ben began to tear up at her words but then he remembered something.

"Wait, what about that Jimmy guy?"

"What about him?"

"After you found out about Maria you told me you'd met somebody else too. Didn't you consider that cheating on me?"

"No, that was different."

"Oh, really? How so," Ben asked a little defensively.

"Ben, were we still dating when you left for Bologna?"

"Yes."

"Did you call or email me and break up with me while you were there?"

"No."

"Did you ever plan to?"

"No."

"So you were in a relationship you had no intention of ending when you chose to fool around with another girl, correct?" Ben had the decency to look ashamed.

"Yes, but…"

"The difference between Maria and Jimmy is that I lied about Jimmy." Shock filled Ben's face.

"WHAT!?" _No, I saw Jimmy._

"I had met Jimmy exactly once and it was the last night my mom and I were in Palm Springs. We were grocery shopping when he came up to me and started flirting with me. I gave him a fake name and flirted back just a little and as we talked he made me laugh. My mom came down the aisle and blew my cover by calling me by name but Jimmy didn't seem to mind. He said he'd see me around and then we left. End of story." Ben was suddenly filled with shame again but Amy hadn't finished her little story yet. "I knew I had a boyfriend back home and I had no intentions of breaking up with or cheating on you. It was just nice to know that there was another guy out there who thought I was attractive and it was nice to laugh, something I hadn't done much of lately. When I found out you had cheated on me, it hurt, Ben, a lot. I lashed out and tried to hurt you by making you think I'd found someone else to be involved with too."

"Amy, you had every right to lie to me…"

"No, Ben, I didn't." Her comment made Ben shut his mouth. "It's never okay to purposefully hurt someone you love. I never should've told you that lie or forced you to break up with me so publically. I acted out of hurt and anger when I should've waited until I'd calmed down and then talked to you in private. I'm sorry for that. That's not how you treat someone you love." Ben was stunned. _Did she actually just apologize for lying about hurting me after I'd __**actually **__hurt her? She was totally justified after what I'd done. Doubly so since I lied to her about it._

"Amy, there's nothing to apologize for. I was the one totally in the wrong." Amy gave him a small smile.

"Ben, relationships aren't all about who's right and who's wrong. When one person realizes they messed up or hurt the other, they need to own up to it and deal with the consequences. I was wrong for trying to hurt you by lying to you and you deserve my apology, so I've apologized for that. I also owe you an apology for not being clear about how I viewed our relationship and for not pulling my weight." She looked up at Ben and saw confusion in his eyes. "I leaned on you very heavily both physically and emotionally during our relationship without making sure you were okay with it or prepared to handle that. I needed you to be there for me but I wasn't there for you just as much. I know we talked and spent time together, but after you found out about my pregnancy we spent most of our time together talking about me and my drama and I was so busy worrying that I forgot to check-in with you, so to speak, to see what your thoughts and feelings were about things as they came up. I was so focused on trying to get along with Ricky that you got pushed aside sometimes. And for that, I'm truly sorry. You deserved better from your girlfriend so part of me actually understands how you were able to cheat on me with Maria." Ben was floored. He **had** felt pushed aside from time to time but brushed it off as part of being in a relationship with a girl who had to deal with her child's father.

"It's no wonder you started dating Grace." Ben quickly swiveled his head in her direction.

"Huh?"

"After everything I put you through it's no wonder you wanted a drama free girlfriend," she told him with a genuine smile on her face. "And I'm glad you took a shot with your dream girl." Ben suddenly felt a desperate need to explain his actions so Amy wouldn't feel hurt by his actions any more than she already had been.

"Amy, it wasn't like that. I mean, sure I had a crush on Grace in the beginning but after our first date I was totally smitten with you. I didn't swap you for my dream girl or anything like just. It just happened that a girl I'd had a crush on in the past was available at the same time I was and I went for it."

"I know that now, Ben." His curious expression at that admission made her chuckle. "When I found out you'd gone out with Grace I was hurt because you had moved on while I, once again, was stuck on the sidelines busy being a teenage mother. You deserved a break after everything you'd done for me and John." Ben looked down, feeling a little embarrassed that Amy had basically just retroactively given him her blessing to move on. "I am curious about something though."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Where you and Grace officially dating when you had sex with Adrian?" _So we're finally to Adrian._

"No, why?"

"I'm trying to understand why you had sex with Arian and then tried to get back together with me if you and Grace had started seeing each other." Ben sighed. _How do I explain this without sounding like an idiot?_ Realizing there wasn't a nice way to explain the whole situation, Ben decided on the truth, mentally trying to prepare himself for Amy's rage.

"Even though I liked spending time with Grace, at the end of the day I wanted to be in a relationship with you because I still loved you. You dad encouraged me to try to get back together with you and that's why I brought over the pizza the night of the mother-daughter dance. When you told me you weren't interested in getting back together and that you'd kissed Ricky I was angry, about the kiss, not the other part."

"Why angry?"

"Because if you willingly kissed Ricky that meant he was making his move on you and with his charm you'd have no interest in getting back together with me."

"So you were still comparing yourself to Ricky." She said it as a statement and Ben nodded.

"I was angry that he was able to get close enough to kiss you again because you had had his baby and angry at you for falling for his tricks. If you hadn't slept with him at band camp then he wouldn't even be in the picture and we still would've been together. Sleeping with Adrian was a way to get back at both of you because she was his girlfriend and you didn't like her." Ben refused to look at Amy while making that last admission, knowing he had hurt her and knowing there was no way to take it back. "I know this won't make you feel better, I just want you to know that I felt insanely guilty about it and felt like I'd ruined my life because I saw no way that you would ever forgive me." He turned his body to face her. "I was over the moon when you said we could try going out again before you left for New York." They stared at each other for several minutes, lost in their own thoughts. Ben broke the silence.

"That's also why I had a hard time understanding your reaction when I came to see you. You already knew I'd slept with Adrian and had forgiven me for it and you knew that, while it's not easy, you can still make a relationship work with someone even though you're having a baby with someone else. So why did you stop taking my calls the last couple of weeks you were in New York?"

"I was angry that you had kept it from me and I needed time to think about the situation."

"But I came to New York to tell you about it…"

"Not right away Ben. My family and friends shut me out, waiting for you to tell me first."

"What do you mean they shut you out?"

"I mean that none of them would take my calls or talk to me. That's how I knew **something** was going on. I was angry when I found out that they had all known and let me be blindsided by the news when you told me. I quit taking your calls so I could figure out what I was gonna do about this new development in our relationship."

"So is our relationship over or not?" Amy sighed before answering.

"Yes, Ben, it is."

"But we made it work, for the most part, when you were having a baby with Ricky. Why can't we make it work now that I'm having a baby with Adrian!?"

"Do you remember how much Adrian and I didn't get along during my pregnancy and after John was born?"

"Yeah."

"Do you recall why that was?"

"She was jealous that Ricky was spending so much time with you even though she was his girlfriend."

"Bingo. And you just admitted to me that you were jealous of Ricky being at my house." Ben nodded, not sure where this was going exactly. "You and Adrian both know how frustrating it is to make a relationship work when your significant other is bound by a child to someone else they're not in love with. I'm not willing to do the same thing to Adrian that she did to me."

"Wait, what do you mean 'the same thing she did to you'?"

"Ben, Adrian doesn't like me, never has. I've been the baby mamma who had to endure the presence of her baby daddy's girlfriend and I know how much I hated it, especially since she and Ricky knew we didn't get along. I know Adrian doesn't like me and never has so I can't bring myself to be the baby daddy's girlfriend that **she** can't stand."

"But…"

"No, Ben. Let me finish. I don't know what your feelings for Adrian are and frankly, that's between the two of you. What I do know is that raising a child as a teenaged mother is hard and you really do need help. The person who should be helping you is your child's father and I don't feel right about taking up time that you should be spending taking care of your child and helping your child's mother just so I can have a romantic relationship with you." Ben could finally see where this was going and he didn't like it one bit.

"Amy, I don't wanna lose you. I'm not in love with Adrian. I'm gonna be there for my child, without question, that doesn't mean I wanna be romantically involved with Adrian. I hardly know her!"

"Ben, Adrian and your child need you right now. Even though I'll miss talking to you and spending time with you, I honestly feel that our relationship has run its course. I'll always be grateful to you for everything you've done for me and John and I can honestly say that I'll always love you. I can also honestly say that I'm no longer in love with you and I can only be there for you as a friend to talk to from time to time."

"What if that's not enough for me, Amy?" Ben asked, his voice wavering with sadness and regret. Amy placed her hand over his and Ben looked down at it.

"The decisions we make can change our lives and send us down a path we didn't intend to take, and teach us some hard life lessons in the process. I think we both thought we loved each other but didn't really understand what it means to love someone. I think neither one of us were prepared to make a relationship work as fifteen year olds with a baby and the baby's father in the mix. Sometimes I feel so conflicted about our relationship though. On one hand I shouldn't have gone on that first date with you and spared you all the drama that is, or was, my life. On the other, you were a good friend and wonderful boyfriend who helped me get through a very challenging time of my life and I'm truly grateful to you for that. I feel that at the end of the day, we should both view our relationship as a learning experience and move forward in our lives. We'll always have our memories of the good times in our relationship and that's okay. What we have to remember is to keep moving forward and do better the next time around." Ben looked up hopefully.

"So there could be a next time around for us someday?" Amy smiled. _Oh, Ben. Ever the optimist_.

"Honestly? I don't know. For now let's just say 'I'll see you around' and leave it at that." They shared a smile and then stood and embraced each other for several minutes, processing everything they had talked about and revealed and saying goodbye to what they had shared as a couple. Ben walked her to the door and they shared one last hug before Amy headed towards her car. She started the engine and looked back to the doorway at Ben. He waved and she waved back before driving off. Ben watched Amy until he couldn't see her SUV anymore and then dejectedly went back inside to figure out what to do with his life next.

Unbeknown to Ben, Leo had heard their entire conversation. He had seen Ben walking upstairs and followed him, intending to finally talk to him about his conversation with Amy, having thought about it for a couple of days. When he heard Ben begin speaking to Amy, he couldn't help himself. He shamelessly eavesdropped on their conversation, only heading towards his bedroom when he heard them get up from Ben's bed and he believed they would be opening the door any minute. He watched Amy drive away from his bedroom window. _She's one intelligent, forgiving, kind hearted young woman. Even after everything she and Ben have been through together, I'm glad she was a part of his life for a little while._ Leo laid on his bed, processing everything he's just learned about Ben and Amy's relationship and wondered what he could've done differently. _I thought giving Ricky a job at the butcher shop was helping the situation. I figured giving the boys the means to help Amy take care of her baby would allow her to consider keeping John. Was that a mistake? Both boys have become more responsible because of their job but did I do more harm than good?_ In the end Leo only came to one definite conclusion: he no longer felt the need to talk to Ben about his conversation with Amy. Ben had enough to think about at the moment.


	17. Cat Got Your Tongue?

Ricky pulled up to his parents' house, Amy still on his mind. Upon walking into the house, he heard his son's laughter and smiled. He found John and his mom in the living room on the floor playing.

"Hi, Ricky. How was work?"

"Work was work," he said, sitting down to place a kiss on his son's head, getting a smile from him for his efforts.

"So this morning you said you wanted to talk. What's on your mind?" Ricky smirked. _Leave it to mom to jump right in._

"I need your advice on a romance question." Margaret was intrigued.

"Oh? What's your question?"

"I need your advice about what type of romantic gesture best says 'I appreciate you and I'm sorry for being such an idiot.'" Margaret raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Sweetheart, I'm gonna need a little more information than that before I can answer your question." Ricky sighed. He wasn't sure how to explain what he'd been feeling the past couple of weeks but he'd give it a shot.

"The first two weeks of Amy's music program I was literally walking in her shoes: living at her house, going to school, then work, then picking up John and taking care of him. I knew she did a lot for our son but I never realized just how much until I was doing it myself, and by myself. I mean sure her family pitched in from time to time but I was basically a single parent for two weeks. I got a new appreciation for her and realized just how much I'd taken her for granted. I had no idea what she went through every day all week." He ran a hand through his hair and Margaret looked at her son with a mixture of understanding and pride on her face. Understanding because she knew what caring for a small child was like and pride that her son had developed an understanding and appreciation for Amy.

"After those first two weeks I also really started to miss her." He gave a mirthless chuckle. "You know that expression 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?"

"Yes."

"Well, I finally understand it. I missed talking to Amy face to face, being able to see her every day. I know we talked over the phone and she Skyped in at night to see and talk to John but it just wasn't the same!" Margaret tried her best to hide a smile. She knew Ricky well enough to know what was going on here. _So he's developed romantic feelings for her and doesn't know what to do about it. If only he'd stop running from his emotions_ she thought with sadness.

"After walking in her shoes I know I need to tell her I'm sorry for taking her for granted but just coming out and saying that seems so….so….just not good enough. I've never been a romantic guy so I need a woman's advice on what would be romantic enough to say all that." He looked at his mother then, pleading with his eyes for her to help him. She looked at him with love and understanding and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Son, romance is in the eye of the beholder." She could tell from his expression that her answer hadn't helped him and she chuckled. John chose that moment to climb into his dad's lap and Ricky absentmindedly wrapped his arms around him, waiting for his mother to explain. "What I mean is that every woman is different so what would be considered romantic to one may not be seen as such by another. If you want to do something romantic for Amy, you've got to plan a gesture around what you believe **she** would find romantic. I know that's probably not the answer you were looking for but if you want to do something romantic for Amy then you've gotta tailor the gesture **to** Amy." Ricky sighed but nodded. He picked up John and his mother helped him collect John's things and return them to his diaper bag. Margaret kissed both her boys on the cheek and sent them off with a wave. Ricky fastened John in his car seat and drove back to his apartment. _Tailor it to Amy. What would Amy think was romantic?_ He had no idea. He'd gotten to know her a little at band camp and over the past year and a half he'd become well acquainted with her temperament and personality, but he didn't exactly know what made her tick romantically. This was gonna be harder than he thought.

Ricky spent some quality father-son time with John until his nap and passed John's nap time straightening up his apartment, trying to avoid thinking about Amy and his supposed romantic gesture. Thankfully after John woke up Ricky was too preoccupied playing with his son to stress about it. Meanwhile Margaret was busy finishing up dinner for her, Shakur and Amy. She couldn't help but smile to herself. _Amy seems like such a sweet girl and part of me kept hoping those two would come together; she seems good for Ricky. Even though Adrian seems like a nice young woman as well who's made some bad choices, Amy just strikes me as more stable for Ricky. Hopefully this discussion tonight will bring us all a little closer, and Ricky's romantic gesture could help_. Shakur walked in a little while later and greeted his wife with a kiss.

"Dinner smells wonderful. What are we having?"

"Salad, chicken alfredo pasta, mixed vegetables, and garlic bread with pound cake for dessert."

"Sound delicious." He checked his watch and saw that it was 4:45. "So do we know what this discussion with Amy will be about tonight?"

"I don't know, she just said it was personal. My guess? It's about her and Ricky in some way." Shakur nodded and began setting the table. He had just finished when there was a knock at the door. Shakur opened it to find Amy standing on the doorstep and motioned for her to come in.

"Margaret," he called out. "Amy's here. He led her into the living room. Margaret walked in a few moments later and smiled.

"Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you again."

"Hello."

"Dinner's almost ready so why don't we get settled in the dining room." She led the way and they each sat down.

"So, Amy," Shakur began, "what is it you'd like to discuss with us?"

"I'm here tonight to try and figure out why the two of you allowed your son to hurt girls repeatedly and why you both ignored me until Ricky took me to court." Before either of them could respond the timer went off, signaling that dinner was ready. Shakur and Margaret began dishing up their dinner. Amy offered to help, but Margaret waved her off and dinner was quickly arranged on the table. Once everyone had served themselves, Margaret addressed Amy's statement with a question of her own.

"Amy, are you upset with Ricky about something?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"You said you wanted to know why we allowed Ricky to hurt girls repeatedly, which leads to me wonder if Ricky has done something to upset you and you're coming to us as a last resort." Amy shook her head.

"No. I know Ricky's father molested and beat him so I know that he has emotional baggage he's still dealing with. What I'd like to know is why neither of you did anything to attempt to curb his habit of sleeping around." Suddenly a light bulb seemed to go off in Shakur's head.

"Amy, I don't know how many details you have about Ricky's childhood and I feel it's not my place to give them to you if he hasn't already. What I **can** tell you is that Ricky has what can best be described as a love-hate relationship with sex because of his childhood abuse and Margaret and I know it's not our place to tell him how to view or feel about sex. As parents we're not happy that our son has chosen to sleep around," he continued. "We simply told him that sex has consequences and if he chose to have sex then he needed to be mature enough to face any consequences of his actions." Amy could follow and understand Shakur's logic. What she still didn't understand, however, was why they took such a backseat role in Ricky's life after they knew she was keeping John. After swallowing her mouthful of food, she asked her next question.

"So did the two of you tell Ricky to be involved in deciding what was best for our son?" Margaret was the first to swallow her own bite of food and answer.

"Yes. When he sat us down and told us he had gotten you pregnant, we asked him what he was going to do next. At first he told us nothing and I encouraged him to take full responsibility for what happened to his child. It wasn't until later that night that he told us he had changed him mind." Amy took another bite of food and processed this piece of information. Thinking back to the first time he showed up at her house, so far everything she'd uncovered during her little knowledge quest seemed to line up. _Ricky must have decided not to be involved that morning when he talked to his parents, still felt that way when he crossed paths with her father that afternoon, changed his mind after her father's insult, came over to tell me he wanted to be involved, came back to talk to me that night, and then gone home to tell his parents he'd changed his mind._

"So when did you find out I was keeping John?" They thought back to the night they'd first heard that news.

"Ricky came home and told us after his first day of working at the butcher shop," Shakur replied. Amy did some quick calculating. _That was a couple of weeks before I had John and the mediation didn't happen until right before John's first birthday._

"So why didn't either of you reach out and introduce yourselves to me if you were planning on seeing my son from time to time?" Margaret gave Amy a confused look while Shakur momentarily choked on his water, caught off guard by her question. He was the first to recover.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if you both had decided to be grandparents to my son after finding out I was keeping him instead of giving him up for adoption, how come I didn't see or hear from either one of you until Ricky took me to court?" They exchanged a glance, silently saying to each other _I didn't know she wanted us to_. Margaret turned back to her with a question of her own.

"Why didn't you reach out to us, Amy, if you wanted us to be a part of your life?"

"I had no reason to," she said simply, finishing the vegetables on her plate. They exchanged another glance, again silently communicating. _What does she mean by that?_

"What do you mean you had no reason to?" Shakur asked her, taking a bite of his pasta.

"Ricky never mentioned either one of you to me. I didn't even know your names until a couple of months ago when I asked my dad if he knew your home phone number." That was news to them and it showed on their faces. "Ricky never offered to introduce me to his parents or mentioned you in any of our conversations so I got the message loud and clear that Ricky was entangled in my life because we'd conceived a child together but I wasn't welcome in his. When neither of you reached out to introduce yourselves, it was clear that the two of you felt the same. John was part of your family but you had no desire to get to know me." Guilt washed over their faces.

"Amy," Margaret began gently, "it was never our intention to make you feel unwelcome in our family." Suddenly her tone became slightly accusatory. "However, it's a two-way street you know." Looking up from her pasta Amy gave her a quizzical look. "You never made any effort to contact us either, even though you just admitted that you knew how to reach us." Returning to a more neutral tone Margaret continued. "While I understand how you came to the conclusion we weren't very approachable, did it even occur to you that we felt the same way when **you** didn't reach out to **us**?" Amy shook her head.

"I don't see how you could've come to that conclusion when you knew about me before I knew about either of you." Shakur and Margaret were both a little taken aback at her bluntness. "I only asked my father if he knew how to contact either of you in case you wanted to discuss Ricky's proposed custody arrangement, but no call ever came."

"Why did you think we would want to discuss the proposed arrangement with you," Shakur asked, genuinely curious. Amy looked him straight in the eye with a no nonsense expression that held just a little bit of anger.

"Do you trust random strangers with children that are under your care?"

"No." he replied.

"Why not?" Shakur thought the answer was obvious but apparently Amy wanted to hear it spelled out. It was Margaret who responded, however, picking up on where this was going.

"Amy, I'm sorry. I didn't think about how you would feel about the arrangement considering what you've just told us. Shakur looked at her with confusion written all over his face and in his body language.

"Come again?" he asked his wife.

"Shakur, Amy didn't know us from Joe Smo down the street. Naturally she had reservations about her son being in our care unsupervised for part of the weekend. We may have been the parents of her child's father but Amy didn't know us and since we had given her the impression we had no interest in welcoming her into our lives, naturally she wasn't thrilled with the prospect of joint custody and therefore the mediator's ultimate decision," Margaret explained to her husband. Again the light bulb went on and he turned back to face Amy, guilt in his eyes.

"I don't know why I didn't think of that."

"Neither one of us did," Margaret told him with a small smile, resting her hand over his where he had placed it on the table. "We were so focused on trying to help our son and give him an incentive not to run off again that we forgot that our involvement affected people besides Ricky." Amy didn't know what Margaret was talking about.

"What do you mean by 'your involvement'?" Margaret turned to face Amy again.

"After Ricky came back from seeing his mother, we offered to play a bigger role in John's life. We hadn't spent that much quality time with John and we wanted to change that. We also figured that if Ricky knew we were ready and willing to help out more, we would have the opportunity to spend more time with our grandson and he wouldn't consider just taking off again." Amy could understand their point of view because she thought of her own parents. _Even though they were disappointed in me for getting pregnant and fifteen, they adore spending time with John, especially dad_ she thought with a smile. _I guess a lot of parents entangled in my life are simply out to help their kids and I just keep ending up with the short stick by not speaking up sooner._ Margaret took Amy's smile as a sign that the air was starting to clear and she wanted to make sure Amy knew they cared about her as well as John and Ricky.

"Amy, you have always been considered part of our family and we have both always been concerned about Ricky's behavior towards you." Shakur nodded in agreement and Margaret continued. "When he first told us you were pregnant, we asked him what he was going to do by asking him if he had talked to you yet and encouraged him **to** talk to you when we found out he hadn't. After the mediator made his decision we told Ricky that the decision was just the beginning of working out holidays and birthdays that fell on weekends and he needed to remember to treat you the way he wanted you to treat him." Now Amy genuinely smiled, touched at Margaret and Shakur's concern for her.

"Thank you for that. I guess this awkwardness I felt towards the two of you could've all been avoided with a little more communication, huh?" The three of them shared a smile and a laugh at her statement, Margaret and Shakur nodding their heads in agreement.

"I think it's time for some pound cake," Margaret announced, getting up to cut and serve up their dessert. They spent the next few minutes enjoying their dessert and hearing Amy recount her trip to New York. They quickly cleared the table together and Amy announced it was probably time she headed home. Margaret and Shakur walked her to the door.

"Amy," Margaret began gently, "I think you and Ricky really should sit down and talk sometime soon. After you do, I'd like you and I to spend some time getting to know each other better. You're a part of our family too and I want you to feel welcome in our home and comfortable with us taking care of John." Shakur nodded in agreement before adding "And feel free to call us anytime. We're here for you as well as Ricky." Amy smiled, glad she had a few more allies in her corner.

"Thank you," she said to Shakur before turning to Margaret. "And I plan on talking to Ricky Monday night, although it may take us a few days to finish that conversation because I doubt we'll get everything cleared up in a couple of hours," she said with a small chuckle.

"Well if the two of you need more time we'd be happy to keep John overnight or even for an entire weekend." Amy actually liked that idea. She knew Ricky's parents were good people; after all, they were foster parents and loved Ricky, a troubled teen, like a son so she knew John would be fine in their care for a whole weekend.

"If we decide to do that one of us will let you know. Thank you for dinner and for clearing the air with me tonight."

"Anytime, Amy. Anytime," Margaret said and Amy could tell that she meant it. Margaret gave her a hug before she left and she and Shakur waved and watched Amy drive away. They went back into the house and sat down on the living room couch, thinking about what had been said over dinner.

"I hope those two can work everything out," Shakur said, his arm around his wife as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"They're good kids. Getting everything out in the open will help them both." She sighed. "It won't be easy though." She didn't see Shakur nodding his head. "Ricky doesn't like to discuss his emotions and something tells me Amy has some trust issues. It's going to take some time but I know they're both up to it. They love John too much not to do this." They both sighed and sat cuddling on the couch, lost in their own thoughts and praying everything worked out sooner rather than later.


	18. Forget Me Nots

Back at Ricky's apartment the atmosphere was a little more lighthearted as Ricky enjoyed his quality time with John. Ricky was amazed at how much energy such a little person could have. After their dinner he gave John a bath, failing miserably to keep his son from splashing too much water on the floor. _Man this kid loves water_ he thought with a smile and then laughed as he looked at the bathroom floor and his partially soaked t-shirt. _I'll clean this up later_. All cleaned and ready for bed, Ricky read John a story book before putting him to sleep. Thankfully it seemed that all that splashing about had sapped the rest of John's energy and he went to sleep without a fuss.

Ricky first went into the bathroom and mopped up the water on the floor so he wouldn't slip and hurt himself when he went in to take his own shower. He went into the kitchen and began washing up the dinner dishes. With nothing else to occupy his thoughts, his mind once again zeroed in on Amy and trying to plan a romantic gesture. _Okay, she likes butterflies, jazz, Chinese food, and chicken wings. She cries easily so I'll need to try to avoid making her cry. Ben already took her to a carnival. She doesn't like to be away from John for too long so it would have to take place early enough that she won't get home too late. But what is __**it**__ going to be!?_ He finished drying and putting away the last dish and checked on John before taking a quick shower. The shower helped him relax a little but once again sleep didn't come right away. _How do I tell the one person who's given me the most amazing gift ever that I appreciate everything's she's done for me and our son?_ Ricky looked over at John and smiled. Getting out of bed he stood over John's crib just watching his chest rise and fall, his face perfectly peaceful. Most people said John looked like Amy and he knew why. John had his mother's hair and most of her facial features. John suddenly smirked in his sleep and Ricky smiled. _He gets that from me though_.

Across town Amy was likewise admiring her son's facial features in a photograph she had of him next to her bed. She hadn't fallen asleep yet either, but for a different reason. She was once again reviewing the new information she'd uncovered over the past two days. She, her sister and her dad had a LONG way to go to rebuild the trust in their relationships but she was hopeful that one day her family might return to the point where they were all at least somewhat happy. Amy smiled. Her family was a little wacky what with a sarcastic father, an antisocial daughter, an overly emotional daughter, and a mother who just wanted everyone to be okay, but every family has **some** level of dysfunction, right? She had discovered that her two best friends were now solidly in the friends column. Yes, they also had some work to do rebuilding their trust bridges and yes, it would take some time. But she was no longer questioning if she could still trust them at all. Ben had been moved from the enemy to the ally column. While he had hurt her deeply in the past, she had hurt him too. Weighing the good versus the bad, however, told her that they had gotten too close to ever be true enemies. With his impending fatherhood Amy would graciously step aside and be there for him from the sidelines as an ally and she knew he would do the same for her. She was actually happy to know that Ricky's parents had always been her allies without her knowledge and she looked forward to getting to know them better. Maybe one day she would be able to count them as friends instead of simply as allies.

And thinking of how much Ricky's parents loved their grandson had moved her to turn on her bedside lamp and pick up her bedside photograph of her and John smiling. As Amy had told her father yesterday, she knew exactly which features John got from her and which ones he got from Ricky. In this particular picture she could see John's smile, so much like his father's and the thought of her upcoming conversation with Ricky made her slightly nervous. _There's no way we're gonna get all our cards on the table in one night_. She knew **that** without a doubt. _But we can't put it off until the weekend either_. Amy continued gazing at her little boy and smiled._ We have to do this, no matter how many nights it takes. We __**have**__ to, for John._ With that resolution fixed in her mind, Amy returned the picture to her nightstand, turned off her lamp and went to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be emotional and she needed to be well rested.


	19. Mother's Day

Amy woke up bright and early at 8:30, even though she had purposefully not set her alarm so she could sleep in, simply because her stomach had decided to make its presence known. Putting on her robe and house slippers, Amy made her way to the kitchen where she found her mother and Robbie eating their breakfasts. Kissing her little brother on the head to say good morning, Amy turned to greet her mother.

"Morning, mom."

"Morning, Amy. You're awfully cherry this morning," she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Just got a good night's sleep," Amy shrugged before making herself a bowl of cereal.

"So what are your plans for today?" her mother asked. Bringing her cereal to the kitchen table to join her Amy replied, "Well, I was wondering if the two of us could hang out and talk actually." Anne looked surprised but nodded. She hadn't just hung out and talked with Amy in quite some time.

"I'll talk to your father and then we can go out."

"Talk to me about what?" George asked, coming into the kitchen just then and looking between Anne and Amy. Anne turned to him to reply.

"Amy wants to spend some quality mother-daughter time with me today so you'll need to watch Robbie." George looked at Amy questioningly, silently asking her if she was gonna have a talk with her mother like she'd had with him. Amy understood his silent question and nodded. Anne hadn't seen the look pass between them, having turned back towards the table to finish her breakfast, but saw Amy nod and wondered why she had.

"No problem, Anne. You girls have fun." He knew there were probably going to be a lot of tears today and he and Anne would need to have a serious heart-to-heart afterwards, but luckily he'd been doing a lot of thinking about what Amy had told him for the last two days and he believed he'd be ready when Anne was ready to talk to him.

"So where do you wanna go today?" Anne asked Amy. Swallowing her spoonful of cereal Amy looked at her mother and said, "Could we go up to Palm Springs?"

"Sure! I'm sure Mimsy would love to see us!" Visiting Mimsy wasn't the reason Amy wanted to go there but she had to admit visiting her grandmother for a little while would be nice so she just nodded. Amy finished her cereal and dashed upstairs to get dressed. She made sure to take her phone with her, but she decided to keep it off for now. She would check to see if Ricky called with any emergency about John later in the day. Anne and Amy were out the door and on the road by 9:15. There was very little traffic out that morning so Anne quickly reached the freeway heading towards Palm Springs.

"So, what did you wanna talk about?" Anne asked conversationally, hoping to find out what her daughter had been up to the past couple of days. She'd noticed that Amy hadn't been calling or texting her friends lately and always seemed to be lost in thought or shut away in her room, and the emptiness of Amy's room hadn't escaped her notice either. Amy had been looking out the window but turned towards her mother at the question.

"We should wait until we get to Palm Springs to really start talking, mom. What I will tell you is that I need you to help me better understand how our family got so screwed up." Anne found herself both surprised and worried at her daughter's response but nodded her head to let her know she would wait until they'd arrived at their destination. The rest of the drive passed quickly as they talked in more detail about Amy's time in New York and discussed how quickly the boys were growing. The two hour drive was over before they knew it and they were pulling into Mimsy's care facility. As Anne predicted, Mimsy was happy to have some visitors and greeted them with a smile.

"Hello dears," she said as Anne and Amy both hugged her.

"How are you doing today, Mimsy?" Amy asked her.

"I'm well, dear, and you?"

"I'm well too," she said with a smile.

"Have we met before?" she asked Amy and Amy and Anne both valiantly suppressed their sadness at not being recognized by a woman who meant so much to them both before Amy nodded and said, "Yes, but it's been a while since I've had time to come and see you again." Mimsy smiled, accepting her statement.

"Well, it's lovely to see you again my dear." Anne and Amy chatted with Mimsy for almost an hour and then joined her for lunch. After her meal, however, Mimsy said she felt tired and wanted to take a nap. They hugged and kissed her goodbye and then left the facility, both happy and a little sad. As they headed towards the car Anne asked, "So where would you like to go and talk?" _Time to get down to business_.

"The beach." There was little chance that they would be overheard or interrupted if they went to the beach and that's why Amy had chosen it as their discussion location. As they made their way to the beach Anne was thankful that they had both opted for sandals and that the weather was warm with a slight breeze; they wouldn't get sunburned today. They found a spot they liked and sat down.

"So what's on your mind sweetie?" Amy began with her impromptu decision to come home early.

"When Ricky came to see me in New York, we spent quite a bit of time talking about John and what he and I were to each other and what we wanted to be. We didn't make any definite decisions that weekend but we did get to know each other a little better. I decided to come home early to see if he and I really could become friends or something more. As we started talking that night I realized that I'd read more into our conversations from that weekend than was actually there but I also realized something else." Anne wanted to say something but remained silent, waiting for Amy to continue. "I realized that I had a habit of misreading people and their intentions and that was probably why there was so much drama in my life, so, I decided it was time to do something about it."

"And what did you decide to do?" Anne asked, wondering if this had something to do with Amy's empty closet and book shelves.

"I decided to sit down and really think about who in my life, or entangled in my life against their will, was actually my friend and who was actually an enemy." Anne just looked at her daughter, her face a mixture of shock and pride. She was proud of her daughter for taking stock of her life and deciding to make it better and shocked because her little girl really **was** becoming a mature young woman.

"And how did you decide your friends from your enemies?" Amy smiled to herself, thinking about the discussions she'd arranged and had had over the past three days. "I wrote down the name of every person involved in my life and realized I needed answers to some lingering questions before I could figure that out, so I've been talking to a few people on my list each day and separating the names into groups of friends, allies, and enemies." Again Anne was silent, this time in awe to discover what her daughter had been up to. And now she was curious.

"Who have you talked to so far?"

"Lauren's mom, Jason, Mr. Boykewich, Mr. Enriquez, Ashley, dad, Lauren and Madison, Ben, and Ricky's parents." Anne was confused.

"Why did you need to talk to Lauren, Ben, Adrian, and Ricky's parents?"

"They each played a role in some of the drama in my life, going back to when everyone first found out about my pregnancy," Amy explained, absentmindedly digging her toes into the sand. "And I wanted to go back to the beginning, so to speak, and try to figure out how and why my life got so complicated." That was news to Anne. _Just how much have I been unaware of?_

"Amy, something tells me I'm missing something and that I obviously missed it back then too. What 'mysteries' exactly are you trying to unravel?" Amy looked at her mother trying to decide how best to explain without having to recount every single conversation she'd had over the past three days. When she didn't respond right away Anne gave her a questioning look, waiting for an answer. Amy sighed.

"Do you remember how scared I was when I told you I was having a baby?" Anne nodded, remembering that fateful morning when Amy tearfully told her she was pregnant. "Well, by the time I got up the courage to tell you it had already gotten out around school and Lauren's mom forbid her from hanging out at our house because of it."

"WHAT! We've known Lauren's parents for years and vice versa…"

"It's okay, mom. I've already been over all that with Dr. Treacy and she admitted she overreacted and was just trying to do what she thought was best to protect Lauren." Amy shook her head and quickly continued when she noticed her mother was about to continue with another angry response. "And Jason admitted to me that once Lauren confided in him about my pregnancy to ask some medical questions he later spilled the beans at school without Lauren knowing about it. Anyway, I've also already talked to both Mr. Boykewich and Ben about how they got entangled in my baby drama and I realized that my ups and downs with Ben were partly my own fault so he and I split up, for good this time, but amicably."

"Oh, Amy. I'm so sorry sweetie. I know how much Ben meant to you." Anne reached over and hugged Amy and she let her mother comfort her, even though she wasn't sad or upset about the breakup. Amy smiled because she knew her mother was probably the only other person besides Ashley who had known just how much Ben had actually meant to her. Her mother kissed her temple and then released her. Amy continued going through her list of previous conversations.

"With all the drama and secrets going around my former circle of 'friends', you can guess why I needed to talk to Lauren and Madison and make sure the three of us were on the same page again." Anne nodded. She knew the three of them had their ups and downs but loved each other like sisters and always seemed to find a way to resolve their differences. "I needed to talk to Ruben and Ricky's parents to figure out why they chose to get entangled in my life without actually becoming involved in my life and those conversations were pretty enlightening."

"Back up, Amy. What do you mean by entangled in your life but not involved in it?"

"Looking back I noticed that they made decisions that affected my life or generated some drama in it but they never actually spoke to or approached me before doing so." Amy could tell her mother was about to ask for some clarification and beat her to the punch. "We'll get to the specifics as we talk about our family."

"What about our family?" Amy sighed. _Now we get to it._

"Mom, you, dad and I all threw our family for loops with our actions. I take full responsibility for my own because I know what was and wasn't going through my head at the time of each. What I don't fully understand is what was going through your and dad's heads at the time when you guys did what you did and how our family broke down. I talked to dad about some things but I need to hear some of those things from your point of view." Anne was once again speechless. She knew her girls dealt with upheavals differently: Amy often cried or lost her temper and then cried while Ashley lashed out with sarcasm and cruel jokes. _How out of touch with my girls __**have**__ I been_ Anne wondered. _Is this what George said he had to soul search about?_

"Let's start at the beginning, Amy. Since you've already spoken with your father, first tell me what things he did to throw us for a loop and then tell me what I did." Anne wasn't sure she was gonna like what she was about to hear but she was finally about to get some answers to some questions she had secretly had for some time now.

"Well, he had an affair, lied about his vasectomy, told someone else about it before confessing it to you, and then sold his house to the woman he had an affair with." Anne nodded in agreement and waited for Amy to explain what she had done wrong. "And you had sex with someone before you were legally divorced and then allowed dad to sell his house to the parents of a girl you both knew I didn't get along with." It was news to Anne that George had told someone else he'd lied about his vasectomy before telling her but she would discuss that with him later. Right now it was more pressing to find out why Amy was upset with **her**, starting with David.

"Amy, do you know why I was so angry at your father for having an affair?" Amy looked at her mother like she was speaking a foreign language.

"Uh, he cheated on you." Anne shook her head and Amy gave her a skeptical look.

"Do you remember when I told you that there were consequences to being rescued?" Amy nodded, remembering the night she and her mother had sat at the kitchen table and really talked about all of Amy's fears about her pregnancy as well as why her mother was against her getting married. That was also the night she'd found out her parents eloped in college because her dad had knocked up her mom with her.

"Even though I loved your father dearly while we were dating and during the early years of our marriage, like I told you that night, I spent a lot of time trying to show your father how grateful I was that he rescued me. Just like you, I was scared that I couldn't raise a baby by myself." Amy smiled at her mother's words, earning her a confused look from her mother. Seeing the look Amy explained.

"That was one of the main reasons I was so ready to marry Ben illegally. I was scared that since it seemed like adoption wasn't going to work out and I would end up keeping my baby, I was so scared to do it alone and without any financial means to do so that I desperately wanted someone to take care of me while I tried my best to take care of my baby." Anne smiled softly in understanding.

"And Ben had the means and cared about you."

"Actually he didn't." Now it was Anne's turn to look confused.

"Remember the night dad come down to the hot dog shack?" Anne's eyes narrowed at the memory, but she nodded. "Well during my break Ben said he could give me and my baby the best of everything and his dad got on his case, saying Ben didn't actually have any money, it was all his dad's. That's when Mr. Boykewich decided to get Ben a job of his own. I knew we didn't have any money to take care of a baby but I knew Ben was willing to take care of me and that was more important to me at that moment in time." Anne gave her daughter a sad smile. _Like mother like daughter_ she thought and reached over to give her another hug. "That's why I was willing to let him rescue me, mom." Now she got it. Fear can sometimes be a more powerful motivator than love. It was Amy's next question that ruined the moment, however.

"Were you ever in love with dad, mom, or did you just love him?" _When did Amy become so smart and astute?_ Anne smiled.

"At one point in time," she said, finally releasing Amy again, "I was very much in love with your dad." She sighed before continuing. "The problem was that after we were married I still felt like I was just his girlfriend. Not his wife. I may have been the mother of his children but part of me always felt like he and I just weren't connecting the way a married couple was supposed to. After a while it seemed like that lack of a solid connection between us drove us apart and we started bickering more and more about silly things." Amy could tell from her mother's expression and body language that she was mentally reliving her marriage, trying to figure out it ended the way it did. This time Amy reached over and hugged her mother to offer her some comfort. Realizing the mother daughter roles had suddenly reversed, Anne smiled at her daughter, laughed, and hugged her back. "I guess your father and I just never found a way to communicate how we both were truly feeling and that's why even though I was angry that I had been cheated on, I honestly wasn't as angry as I pretended to be." Amy looked at her mother in surprise and confusion. Anne chuckled at her expression and kissed her forehead. "Sweetie, I was actually glad when I found out because it meant that I didn't have to sleep with your father anymore. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed sleeping with him," she paused and chuckled again at Amy's disgusted expression before continuing, "it was just that we'd been bickering so much lately that I simply wasn't in the mood to be intimate with your father very often." Amy smiled sarcastically.

"Excluding the time the two of you had sex in the garage and conceived Robbie." Anne whipped her head to look at Amy, her eyes going wide, and Amy laughed.

"Ash heard the two of you out there one night and told me she thought you guys were having sex. Since Robbie's part of our family now I guess she was right." Anne couldn't help but laugh, Amy soon joining her_. I guess we weren't as sneaky as we thought we were_. Anne's laughter died down as she remembered that Amy was still upset with her for sleeping with David and she also remembered finding out Robbie wasn't David's.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you angry with me for, technically, cheating on your father?"

"No."

"But you said I threw our family for a loop by sleeping with David."

"There's a little more to it than that, mom."

"Oh?"

"Did you know that news that dad had lied about his vasectomy started spreading around school?"

"WHAT!? How'd **that** happen!"

"I'll let dad explain to you the particulars but long story short, he told Grace to try and make her feel better, she told, Adrian found out, and I had to defend you to Adrian when she called you a slut for not knowing who the father of your baby was." Anne was instantly both shocked and angry at George. However, it quickly disappeared as she remembered something.

"Amy, was that the day you were suspended for calling Adrian a slut?" Amy nodded and Anne sighed. "I'm sorry for putting you in that situation, Amy. It's not a child's place to defend their parent and I'm sorry I was basically the reason you got suspended."

"Thanks for that, mom."

"I'm the adult, Amy. I should've been more responsible and yes, even though I knew I had no interest in being married to your father at that point, I should've waited to sleep with David until I was legally divorced."

"Why **did** you sleep with David, mom?"

"I don't know how much of it you've witnessed but your father can be downright mean in some of the thing he says and I'd simply had enough. David was sweet to me and treated me the way you should treat another human being and it was nice to be treated nice for a change. That doesn't excuse my behavior; I just hope it helps you understand why I did it." Anne looked at her daughter questioningly and was relieved to see Amy nod. They sat and watched the ocean for several minutes in companionable silence, Amy's head resting on her mother's shoulder, Anne's arm around her daughter.

"Mom?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you find it awkward to have Cindy living next door, knowing she was the 'other woman'?" Anne just smiled and shook her head.

"Like I said, sweetie, deep down I wasn't really angry at your father for having an affair. Besides, your father and I are trying to piece our family and our marriage back together because we love you kids too much not to try and that means we've agreed to put the bad stuff behind us and move forward instead. Yes, I know Cindy slept with my husband but the affair's over now and we've all moved on with our lives: your father and I are reconciling and Cindy is reconciling with her own daughter's father." Her mother made it sound so simple and easy. She wasn't sure if she could put in the past everything Adrian had said to her. More importantly, Adrian had said things to hurt and pick at more repeatedly whereas Cindy had, technically, only done one thing to hurt her mother. _Time to weigh the good versus the bad again to see where I stand with Adrian_. Amy knew **that** particular conversation was going to come much later, and **after** she and Ricky had cleared the air. She had planned to speak to Cindy as well but if her mother held no ill will towards the woman, maybe there was no point in rehashing her father's affair one more time. Amy's question brought one to Anne's mind.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why does having Adrian as a next door neighbor bother **you** so much?"

"Because she hates me for having sex with Ricky." Anne raised an eyebrow in question.

"What makes you so sure she hates you, or that that's the reason she dislikes you?" Amy sighed. She'd told her dad so now it was time to tell her mom

"Adrian has been going out of her way to make digs at me and has been trying, quite successfully, to get under my skin about ruining Ricky's live and being nothing more to him than his baby momma." Anne's protective mother instincts kicked into overdrive.

"Amy! Why didn't you say something sooner!? A rude remark is one thing but if you knew someone was going out of their **way** to mess with you why didn't you say something!?"

"Mom," she said in a tone that suggested she wanted her mother to calm down, "some of the things she was saying to me were simply thoughts that I already had and the rest was just said out of jealousy, and possibly a little insecurity."

"Amy, tell me the truth. Exactly what kinds of things was Adrian saying to you?" Amy's tone hadn't worked. Her mother was still determined to find out how this girl had tried to hurt her daughter and her tone let Amy know her mother wouldn't stop pushing until she talked. Amy sighed and thought back to her conversation with Ruben. _Might as well stick to the same things so everyone's on the same page she thought_.

"Adrian basically kept reminding me that Ricky would forever hate me because by keeping John I ruined his life and she kept implying that because she was willing to have sex with Ricky that one day she'd replace me as his mother and the two of them would raise John as a 'real' family." Amy looked at her mother sideways from beneath her eyelashes to see her response and was shocked to see rage on her mother's face. Her mother could get angry but this was the first time Amy had seen this expression and Amy knew exactly what it was because she had felt it herself the night she saw Adrian holding her child. This was a mother's wrath.

"SHE WHAT!?" Anne exploded. Amy didn't get a chance to respond as her mother continued shouting in rage. "NO ONE, I REPEAT NO ONE, HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL A MOTHER WHO OBVIOUSLY LOVES HER CHILD UNCONDITIONALLY AND IS DOING A WONDERFUL JOB RAISING THEM THAT SHE CAN BE REPLACED! THAT GIRL'S GOT SOME NERVE INSINUATING THAT YOU AREN'T FIT TO BE JOHN'S MOTHER JUST BECAUSE YOU REALIZE SEX ISN'T JUST SOME AFTER SCHOOL ACTIVITY AND IF SHE **EVER** SETS FOOT ON MY PROPERTY AGAIN I'M GONNA GIVE HER A PIECE OF MY MIND JUST LIKE I GAVE THAT NO ACCOUNT BOB A DOSE OF REALITY!" Anne was huffing, still upset that someone had tried to imply her daughter was an unfit mother, just because she decided not to sleep around. Yes, Anne knew Adrian and Ricky both slept around because she heard her daughters talk about it, but never before had she felt the urge to slap some sense into someone else's child before. Amy just stared at her mother in shock and awe and couldn't help the few tears that squeezed out of her eyes and made their way down her cheeks. Seeing the tears Anne quickly, almost split personality quickly, switched into nurturing mother mode. "What's wrong, Amy?" Amy just hugged her mother and Anne, not sure what had just happened, hugged her tightly back.

"Thanks, mom."

"For what?"

"You just said I was doing a great job as a mom and coming from you that means a lot." Anne tried to remember saying those words just a moment ago and couldn't recall doing so, but apparently that's what Amy heard out of what she'd said so she didn't say anything. Suddenly Amy chuckled. "And thanks for having my back."

"What do you mean sweetie?" Amy sat back up and wiped her eyes.

"When I told dad that Adrian and I still weren't getting along all that well he said exactly what you just did, that Adrian shouldn't be allowed to set foot in the house or on the property until she proved she was going to play nice from now on."

"Well given the things she's been saying to try to get under your skin of course we're not gonna let her keep messing with you now that we know about it." There was something her mother had just said that Amy was curious about though.

"Mom?"

"Hmmm?"

"You said you would give Adrian a piece of your mind like you did Bob. Do you mean Bob Ricky's biological dad?" Anne nodded. "When did you give **him** a piece of your mind?" Anne thought back to her 'conversation' with Bob Underwood and her eyes narrowed again.

"I ran into him at a gas station shortly after he made his presence known around town."

"Why'd you give him a piece of your mind?" Anne's eyes narrowed again as she was filled with the same rage she felt when she had crossed paths with Bob.

"I was furious with him for being the lowlife human being that he is and told him so." Amy stared at her mother in awe.

"You stood up for Ricky?" Anne looked at her daughter confused.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, he and dad weren't on the best of terms, considering, and you barely knew Ricky."

"True. But I'm a mother and anyone who hurts a child in any way deserves the worst that life can dish out. I may not have known Ricky very well but I **did** know that no child ever deserves to be hurt, **especially** by their own parent. Besides," she added, "there was no way on God's green earth I was gonna stand by and let some creep like Bob pull the despicable stunt he was trying to pull and hurt my daughter or grandchild."

"Wait, what 'stunt'?"

"Huh?"

"What stunt was he trying to pull?" Anne had Amy's full attention. Anne sighed. She had hoped to spare her daughter from ever finding out just how unethical people could be. Seeing Amy's face, she knew she couldn't keep it from her any longer.

"Amy, Bob wanted to convince Ricky to sell your baby."

"WHAT!?" Anne nodded.

"He heard Ricky had gotten you pregnant and then found a couple desperate for a baby. So desperate they were willing to pay to have your baby as soon as it was born." Amy stared at her mother in shock and disbelief. "He wanted Ricky to agree so that Bob could basically be paid a finder's fee for 'finding' your baby." Amy was stunned. _No wonder Ricky was suddenly dead set against adoption when I told him his father had come to see me._

"Hang on. How did you find that out?"

"From Ricky's parents."

"Huh?"

"After you told us what Bob had done to Ricky, your father got in touch with Ricky's foster parents to try and find a way to get Bob back out of the picture. Ricky's foster dad told your dad what Bob was really after and he told me. The next time I crossed paths with Bob I gave him a piece of my mind." Amy was floored by this news. _So our parents have __**all**__ had __**both**__ of our backs this whole time!? Just how much have people been doing for us without us knowing about it!?_ Amy started to tear up again and gave her mother another hug.

"Thanks, mom. For being there for me, John **and** Ricky." Anne smiled down at the top of her daughter's head. _There's no need to thank your mother for protecting you, Amy. It comes with the job title._

"Anytime, honey. No matter how old you get or how many kids you have, Amy, you'll always be my baby and I will always do what I can to protect you. I love you. Always have, always will." Amy smiled up at her mom and received a kiss to the forehead. "What do you say we head back and then go out for dinner?"

"Sounds good to me." They picked up their sandals, dusted the sand off themselves, and made their way back to the car. One nice thing about Mimsy's care facility is that it was close to the beach. They put their sandals back on once they reached the pavement. They were both quiet for most of the drive back, thinking about their conversation. It was still fairly early in the afternoon so traffic was only slightly more backed up than usual, with people coming back into the city from their weekend adventures. Amy turned on her phone to check her messages and saw that she had missed texts from Lauren and Madison asking her if she wanted to hang out that afternoon. She sent them both a text back

_Sorry. Spent the day in Palm Springs with my mom catching up and my phone was off_.

They each responded right away with similar messages.

Lauren: _No prob. We'll hang l8tr_

Madison: _K. Ttyl_.

Even with the little bit of traffic Anne made good time and they arrived home by just after 5:30. During the drive they had decided to go out for Italian and dress up for the occasion. Amy had called their favorite Italian restaurant and got them a 6:15 reservation and they quickly dashed in the house to put on something nice, Anne stopping to check in on Ashley and Robbie and letting George know what they were up to. Not sure when they would finish their dinner, they each drove their own vehicle so that if they were out close to John's bedtime Amy could simply leave to pick up John and Anne could meet her at home.

Dinner was a much more relaxed conversation. Having cleared the air and gotten some answers to lingering questions, Anne and Amy simply caught up on each other's lives and reconnected. Anne realized that she really had been too busy with work and taking care of Robbie to spend time with her two older children, even with her grandson for that matter, and she had missed it. She and Amy used to be a lot closer and you would've thought that currently raising toddlers would've brought them even closer by now. _Time to get my priorities straight_ Anne thought as she enjoyed a savory bite of her pasta and watched Amy laughing about how much John enjoyed bath time. Amy checked her phone and saw that it was close to 7:45 and their dessert still hadn't arrived. Anne saw Amy check her phone and checked her own watch as well.

"Go ahead and go, Amy. When the dessert arrives I'll ask for them to be wrapped up and it'll be waiting for you when you get home."

"Thanks, mom." Amy picked up her purse, gave her mom a kiss on the cheek and then went out to her car. She arrived at Ricky's apartment only a few minutes early. She stood outside his door for those few minutes, not wanting to leave time for small talk since she really wasn't in the mood for it right not. Finally she knocked.

"Just a minute," she heard Ricky call out, followed by the unmistakable giggle of her son and the sound made her smile. Ricky opened the door and looked her up and down with their son on his hip and a confused look on his face. Amy looked back at him questioningly but John chose that moment to break the silence.

"Mama!" he squealed, reaching out for her. Amy smiled and took her son from Ricky's arms, placing a kiss on his cheek. He snuggled into her side contentedly and looked back at his father with a smile. Ricky smiled back at him. Amy reached for John's overnight bag and Ricky's attention swiveled back to Amy.

"How was your date?" he asked rather stiffly as he handed her the bag.

"Huh?" Amy responded, taking the bag and placing it on her shoulder.

"You're a little dressed up, so…" he let the rest of his answer trail off and Amy looked at her outfit. She had on a black dress with spaghetti straps that went down to her knees, a little grey sweater that stopped just under her chest, black dress shoes, and her hope chest necklace. It wasn't fancy by any stretch of the imagination but she was definitely too dressed up to run over to her baby daddy's apartment and pick up her son. She just shrugged and turned to leave.

"Wait," Ricky said quickly. She turned to face him and he suddenly started fidgeting.

"I know when we start talking it can get pretty late." He paused and Amy simply nodded. "So I was wondering if you'd like to pack an overnight bag for you and John and then just come straight over after work." At Amy's surprised look he finished his thought in a rush, before she could object and before he lost his nerve. "That way if it gets late you don't have to worry about waking John and driving home late and then getting to bed too late since you'll have to get up for work the next day." He nervously waited for her response and his heart sank when he saw her surprised expression. _She's gonna say no. _Amy thought it was actually a good idea.

"I'll have to run it past my parents first." Ricky dared not let her see how happy he was that she hadn't come out and said no.

"Okay. Text me after you talk to them."

"Okay." And with that Amy walked downstairs and out to her car. John yawned as she buckled him in and he was asleep by the time she got him home. He didn't wake up once as she unbuckled him, carried him upstairs and kissed his forehead before placing him in his crib. She smiled down at her sleeping son and then went to find her parents. Her dad was in the living room watching TV and her mom was sitting in the kitchen finishing off her dessert from the restaurant. Amy asked her dad to join her in the kitchen and then told her parents about Ricky's proposition.

"No," her dad said as soon as he heard her say the word 'overnight.'

"George, let her finish," Anne said. Amy finished explaining Ricky's reasoning for the overnight stay and her parents each thought about it for a moment. They each thought back to their own talks with their daughter and realized that she had much more to talk about with Ricky and it could take some time. Also knowing that Amy had no romantic feelings for Ricky helped. They shared a look of understanding.

"Okay," Anne said. She and Amy looked at George.

"Alright!" he said, arms crossed, still not thrilled with the idea. Amy kissed her dad on the cheek to soothe his ruffled feathers and gave her mom a hug. Amy sent Ricky a text right away.

_They said okay._

Ricky read it and literally jumped for joy. _Finally, we're gonna get to the bottom of things and we won't have to worry about cutting it short just so she can drive home!_ Amy got ready for bed and then sat at the kitchen table enjoying her dessert of tiramisu and thought about her day. Talking to her mom had made her feel a lot better and she felt a little closer to her mom than she had over the past few months. She also thought back to her dinner with Margaret and knew her conversations with Ricky were gonna take some time. _This could take weeks_ she thought, realizing they only had a few hours each night during the week to talk, and possibly one entire weekend, thanks to Margaret's offer to help them out. But there was just so much to talk about! Anne meanwhile was getting ready for bed quietly herself and George watched her curiously, wondering what she and Amy had talked about. Feeling his stare, Anne hung up her robe, made her way to the bed and got situated under the covers. She turned to face George.

"I know Amy's talked to you about our marriage and some other things. I figure that's what you were soul searching about a few days ago, right?" George nodded. "Well, now I need a day or two to think things over. How about we talk the day after Amy's belated birthday dinner."

"Sounds good."

"Okay." She turned off the lamp on her night stand. "Goodnight George." He did likewise.

"Night, Anne."


	20. Reflections

Ruben was quietly eating his lunch in his office, his mind drifting back to his conversation with Amy last Thursday and his dream about a more innocent, carefree Adrian_. I've always regretted not being there for my daughter and there's nothing I can do to get those sixteen years back. All I can do is be a better man now. As for Amy, I don't even know how to begin apologizing to her. Maybe I shouldn't yet. Maybe I need to get my own house in order first. _He didn't have any more cases that afternoon and the paperwork in his inbox didn't technically need to be filed until the middle of next week. He buzzed Julia.

"Yes, Mr. Enriquez?"

"Julia, I'm taking a personal day. Please forward all of my calls to my voicemail."

"Yes, Mr. Enriquez." Collecting his briefcase, Ruben headed home. Cindy was home for the next week and they had been having family dinners each night, taking advantage of this break in her schedule. She was in the kitchen having lunch herself when Ruben came in. She smiled and greeted her husband with a kiss.

"What are you doing home so early?"

"Couldn't concentrate."

"Oh? Rough case?"

"No," he said, loosening his tie, removing his suit jacket and joining her at the kitchen table.

"So then what's on your mind?" Ruben looked at his wife, not sure how to say what he wanted to say and so he opted for the upfront approach. _Let's just rip off the Band-Aid and deal with it._

"Our family's mistakes and bad decisions." That got Cindy's attention and she dropped the sandwich she had been holding moments ago to stare at her husband, not sure she'd heard him correctly.

"Excuse me!?" Ruben rubbed the back of his neck in an attempt to ease some of the tension building there and continued looking at his wife.

"Last Thursday Amy Juergens came to see me; she scheduled an appointment and everything." Cindy's eyes got wide, filled with surprise and just a little bit of panic.

"What did she want to talk to you about, or are you not allowed to tell me?"

"It was a personal matter and it concerns our family so yes, I can tell you. She came to ask me some questions about the three of us." Now Cindy was curious and on the defensive. She knew she hadn't made the best choices in life but she wasn't about to let anyone talk down about her because of it.

"What kind of questions?"

"Well, for starters, she wanted to know why we bought a house next door to a girl we knew our daughter didn't get along with and a man you had had an affair with." Cindy chocked on the iced tea she had ben sipping. Ruben patted her on the back until she could speak again.

"She WHAT!?" Cindy asked, more surprised than upset.

"Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction, and I didn't have a good enough explanation for why we did either of those things. All I told her was that we had hoped she and Adrian would work out their differences on their own and that since the affair had ended and everyone had moved on, we didn't see a problem living next door to George."

"So she's still holding some kind of grudge against us?"

"No." Cindy looked at him confused. Ruben had been dissecting his conversation with Amy and realized something. "Amy was just trying to figure out if she could trust her next door neighbors or if we had intentionally set out to make her life more difficult."

"Wait, how exactly does she figure **we** made her life more difficult?"

"Cindy, did you ever stop to think about how Anne might feel about having you as a next door neighbor?" Cindy blanched for a moment. Honestly the thought had never occurred to her and she shook her head. "Well apparently Amy had to watch her mother's reaction as she occasionally crossed paths with the 'other woman' that helped end her marriage." Ruben could see that Cindy was about to defend herself and he put up his hand, motioning for her to stay quiet. "Amy only said that you played a role, she doesn't blame you for her parent's divorce. And honestly I never thought about it either. I was so focused on making sure Adrian and Amy got along for John and Ricky's sake that I forgot about Anne and Ashley. They were affected by the affair and divorce too and by buying the house we were subtly but constantly reminding them about it." Shame washed over Cindy's face and she sighed.

"I knew he was married before we began the affair. It was just nice to have someone to talk to and have around who was also funny with a kind of sarcastic wit that I could relate to." She sighed and stared at her plate. "I didn't really think it through when we bought the house I guess. I just really wanted to give Adrian the house and family that she'd always wanted." Ruben nodded and placed his hand over Cindy's on the table. "I didn't think it through either." They continued to sit like that for a moment before Cindy decided to continue eating her lunch and thinking about what Ruben had just told her. He let her finish her sandwich in silence and waited until she'd risen to take her dishes to the sink before he spoke again.

"Amy also asked me a couple of questions about Adrian." Cindy sighed, already knowing where this was going. Yes, her daughter slept around and yes, her relationship with Ricky was always been a back and forth one.

"What did Amy have to say?"

"She wanted to know if we were aware of how much Adrian picked at her." Cindy chuckled.

"Is that all? Ruben, we both know our daughter is strong willed and speaks her mind. Those things aside, teenagers tease each other and they have to learn to stand up for themselves **sometime**." She began rinsing her dishes and placing them in the dishwasher.

"This was different Cindy." At Ruben's quiet tone Cindy stilled and turned to face her husband.

"What do you mean?"

"Teasing involves name calling and nitpicking. Adrian was trying to remove Amy from her and Ricky's lives by trying to create tension between Amy and Ricky."

"What are you talking about Ruben?" Cindy asked a little too aggressively. She and Adrian may have had a rocky relationship up until recently and she wasn't up for the Mother of the Year award any time soon but she wasn't going to let someone bad mouth her child. Ruben sighed and hung his head and Cindy's heartbeat suddenly sped up at her husband's dejected form. _This isn't good._

"Our daughter occasionally implied to Amy that she would someday replace her as John's mother and then raise him with Ricky simply because she was willing to have sex with him and Amy wasn't. Do you call that harmless teasing?" Ruben asked his wife without turning in his chair to face her.

"She said WHAT!?" Cindy asked in disbelief. _How could a child of mine be that cruel and heartless!_ Cindy thought back to the day she had been called into Mr. Molina's office about Adrian's behavior and she had admitted to her daughter, for the first time, that she loved Adrian more than she realized. She imagined how she would've felt if some woman had told her that she couldn't be Adrian's mother simply because she wasn't willing to put out to her child's father.

"I honestly don't know where she got that idea but the moment Amy told me that I was severely disappointed in our daughter."

"Huh?" Cindy hadn't heard Ruben, lost in her own train of thought.

"Well aren't you, Cindy? Our daughter took it upon herself to verbally abuse a girl she didn't even know simply because she had gotten pregnant by our daughter's boyfriend before our daughter started dating him."

"It wasn't fair!" Cindy and Ruben both turned towards the stairs to see their daughter standing there, angry and in tears. They were unaware that Adrian had come downstairs for a snack and decided to sit just behind the wall and listen to them.

"What wasn't fair, Adrian," her father asked her.

"Ricky hooked up with her one time and she got his attention just because she got herself knocked up!" Cindy knew part of this little outburst was due to her daughter's pregnancy hormones but after hearing what Ruben had to say to her, she had had enough and decided some tough love was needed here.

"Oh? And how is that any different from your current situation? You got knocked up after having sex with a guy one time. Does that mean you shouldn't get any of Ben's concern or attention just because he's dating Amy and it's not fair to her now?"

"How can you take **her** side! You're **my** mother!"

"And as your mother I'm telling you to grow up!" Adrian and Ruben both stared at Cindy in shock. _Ouch_ Ruben thought, but wisely kept silent. "Adrian, you're about to become a mother. You decided to keep your baby and that means your entire world is about to change several months from now and it's time you changed your attitude as well." Adrian just glared at her mother. Cindy motioned for Adrian to have a seat and her expression told her not to argue about it. Adrian plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs and continued glaring at her mother. Cindy continued to glare back.

"When did Ricky and Amy first have sex?" Adrian raised an eyebrow but answered her mother's question.

"The summer before our sophomore year."

"Were the two of you together yet?"

"No."

"Did you know Amy was pregnant with Ricky's baby before you two become an official couple?"

"Well, yeah but…"

"Do you think Ben should help you take care of your baby?"

"Of course but..."

"Then you had no reason to try to mess with Amy and you still don't."

"Huh?" Adrian wasn't following her mother's line of questioning and Ruben looked just as confused.

"What happened between Amy and Ricky happened before you met him. You also feel that the father of a baby should help that baby's mother so you shouldn't have been surprised when Ricky stepped up to take care of his son and that required him to spend time with his son's mother. If you knew Ricky was going to be spending time with Amy and that bothered you, you should've just broken up with him. Now that you're going to be a mother yourself soon, how would you react is someone told you they would be able to replace you simply because they were willing to put out for Ben?"

"That's different!"

"Oh? How so?"

"Ben's not Ricky!"

"Meaning?"

"Ben's a good guy. He's not gonna ditch me the second some loose girl comes along."

"You were so sure Ricky would ditch Amy for you." Adrian was shocked that her mother just called her a loose girl. Cindy saw Adrian's expression and cut her off.

"Don't even try it. We've both slept around in the past and treated sex like a means to an end. We were both slutty in the past but we don't have to continue that pattern; we just have to realize that a bad reputation's hard to shake." Adrian had nothing to say to that. "Now, I don't know what else you've said to Amy in the past or what else you simply **implied** but trying to find ways to hurt and demean her just because you were jealous of her wasn't the way to handle it. And before you try to lecture me for lecturing you, we've had this talk already, and I'll fill you in on it later Ruben." He looked at her, clearly lost. Cindy was on a roll and seemed to be getting through to Arian so he kept quiet. "I know I wasn't the kind of mother you needed or deserved and that's on me, period. I also know that if you're willing to put in the time and effort to change, you can. Just look at your father and I. We were young and foolish in high school and, if we're honest here, neither one of us was the parent to you we should've been. We decided to change that when we started dating and that means we're not gonna allow you to continue destructive behavior. So until Amy contacts you, stay away from the Juergens family. No phone calls, texts, emails, getting information about them from other friends or third parties, and no going over to their house unless Amy invites you. Are we clear?" Adrian nodded her head, unable to find words to respond to her mother verbally. Grabbing a pack of apples slices from the fridge, she returned to her room silently.

Cindy sat at the table in a huff and ran a hand through her hair. Ruben just stared at his wife in awe and placed his hand over her other one. She turned to look at him and some of her anger dissipated when she saw the love in his eyes.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to stay in your life." Cindy placed her free hand over his.

"I didn't let you and honestly, back then, I was too embarrassed and strong willed to have let you."

"And now?" Cindy smiled and leaned in to give her husband a kiss.

"And now I won't let you leave without a fight. I never stopped loving you, Ruben, and I'm glad we found our way back to each other." She sighed and hung her head for a moment. "I just wish our daughter hadn't gotten hurt in the process." They shared a look of understanding and then Ruben took her hand and led her into the living room. They sat on the couch cuddling and thinking about the regrets in their lives.

Adrian was in her room trying her best to stop her tears from falling as she thought about the past two school years. She and Ricky were a lot alike. They both had less than normal childhoods, although, his had been far more violent; they both had enough emotional baggage to fill an airport; they both enjoyed sex; and they both used sex, like her mother had said, as a means to an end. But somewhere in her and Ricky's back and forth she'd fallen in love with him, and she knew, without a doubt, that at least at one time he had cared about her. She thought back to the day she and Ricky had broken up for good and cried a little harder, their conversation seared into her memory.

"…_you shouldn't have kissed Amy_

"_No, I shouldn't have. And you shouldn't have slept with Ben. But we were over before then. Anything we had going was over the first time I cheated on you. I don't know a lot about love but…I'm pretty sure if a man loves a woman, really loves her, he doesn't cheat on her."_

"_But I cheated on you too."_

"_Yeah you did. And I'm pretty sure that when a woman loves a man she doesn't cheat on him."_

"_You know what let's just…forget all that and start over."_

"_I don't want to forget all that. I don't wanna start over I just wanna end this. And, I'm ending it. You don't love me, Adrian and I don't love you."_

"_Yes, you do."_

"_No, I don't."_

"_No, come on, Ricky. I know you love me and I love you. Don't run away from me."_

"_I'm not running away from anything. I might be leaving at some point but I'm not running away I'm just facing the truth. And the truth is, Adrian, you and I cannot trust each other. You don't make a good girlfriend. I don't make a good boyfriend and someday I wanna be a good husband and good father. And this… you and me, this 'relationship' that's not the way to become a good husband and good father so…I'll see you around."_

"_Is this about Amy?"_

"_No, this is about me."_

Adrian buried her face in her pillow and cried. She was jealous of Amy because she realized, long before Ricky did, that Amy held the key to his heart. He even confirmed it during the conversation she had with him shortly before Amy came home.

"_Ricky, I know you. And I accept who you are, unlike Amy. She is never gonna understand you the way I understand you."_

"_Good, I'm glad alright. I don't want her to accept me or understand me. I want her to change me."_

"_No one can change you, Ricky."_

"_And no one can change you."_

She knew Ricky well enough to know that deep down he was a good guy. What hurt was that he had never been willing to be a good guy for **her**. _Was I ever __**really**__ the girl that Ricky wanted? Why was I never good enough for him?_ _Why does it still hurt?_


	21. Back to Square One

Ricky and Ben were both trying their hardest to stay focused on their work, to avoid getting on Bunny's bad side, but it wasn't easy. Ben was preoccupied with his discussion with Amy and trying to wrap his head around his impending fatherhood. Ricky was trying his best to contain his mixture of fear and excitement. If tonight's talk went well, he'd not only be able to conclude the conversation he and Amy had started four days ago but he also might be able to find out what types of things Amy found romantic. He had no clue how he was gonna get her to tell him without making her suspicious but he would definitely try.

Amy was too busy focusing on her son to worry **too** much about her talk with Ricky that evening. Since she didn't have to go to work until tomorrow, she spent the day entertaining her son. They started off with a trip to the aquarium. Amy's mood was lighthearted as she watched the genuine awe and happiness on her son's face as he watched the various fish and mammals swimming around. She took an adorable picture of John with his hands pressed to the glass and smiling as a dolphin swam up to him to say hello. _I wonder how old I was when I lost my innocent sense of wonder and had no fear?_ She had packed them a lunch to save money and after enjoying their meal in a shaded garden at the aquarium, they left and spent some time playing at the park in hopes John would be tired enough to go down for his nap without a fuss. He was nodding off in his stroller as Amy pushed it home from the park. Once he was tucked in his crib Amy began packing their overnight bags. Trying to avoid too much awkwardness, she decided to shower before she and John went over to Ricky's so she wouldn't need to shower in the morning. _Hmmm. Might as well shower now while he's napping_ Amy thought and quickly finished packing their bags and did just that, taking the baby monitor with her.

Ben and Ricky both sighed with relief once their workday was over. Ricky dashed upstairs and quickly showered and changed and then started preparing dinner. He was just about to set the table when there was a knock at the door. He opened it to find Amy with a very happy John in her arms. "Dada!" he squealed, causing both of his parents to smile. Amy set John down near his toys as Ricky returned to the kitchen to grab plates, cups and silverware. Amy helped him and they made short work of getting dinner on the table. They made polite small talk about their day as they ate, both very aware that the other was avoiding any serious topics and doing likewise. John was blissfully unaware that his parents were mildly uncomfortable. They continued 'playing nice' as they worked together to put John to bed and clean up the dinner dishes. When the last dish had been put away, they faced each other and an awkward silence filled the room for several moments.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed," Amy announced. "That way I won't have to worry about it if it gets late."

"Good idea," Ricky agreed. Amy grabbed her pajamas, toothbrush and toothpaste and headed to the bathroom. Ricky meanwhile changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants in the bedroom, being careful not to wake John. He was sitting on the couch waiting for her when she emerged. He brushed his teeth as she secured her toothbrush and toothpaste. He found her sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for him. They faced each other and another awkward moment of silence filled the room.

"So, where do you wanna start?" Ricky said. Amy gave him a small smile before answering.

"With an explanation." He looked at her confused and she continued. "Something you said to me the night I can home got me thinking." Ricky didn't respond, waiting for more information before he jumped in. "When you told me you never said you were ready to be with just me, a saying popped into my head: Hope for the best, plan for the worst." He gave her a questioning look.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that I had read more into our New York conversation than was actually there." Ricky looked away from her, guilty for not keeping his promise to Amy, even though nothing had been set in stone when he left. "And then I came to a decision." Ricky turned his head back to face her, her statement snapping him out of his little pity party.

"And what was that?"

"I decided I'm tired of always feeling like an idiot when the other shoe drops." He interrupted her before she could continue.

"What do you mean by that? What other shoe?" Amy sighed.

"There are times when people, you included, have given me their word about something and a little voice in the back of my head tried to tell me something wasn't right but I ignored it, giving people the benefit of the doubt. Then, that little doubting voice ended up being right and I felt like an idiot. I'm tired of feeling like that so I've been doing something about it." Ricky started to feel nervous.

"And what exactly **have** you been doing about it?" he asked hesitantly.

"I've been talking to everyone that's currently a part of or entangled in my life and getting answers to some unanswered questions I have to try and figure out who I can trust." Ricky looked at Amy with a mixture of awe and surprise. _Where did this proactive Amy come from? Not that I mind completely, I just hope the sweet girl I met at band camp is still in there somewhere._

"And what have you figured out so far?" he asked, giving in to his curiosity.

"I've figured out I've got some trust bridges to rebuild with my family and two best friends, I've got more allies than I realized, I've been selfish and immature, and I've still got some uncomfortable conversations left to have."

"Who have you talked to so far?" Amy knew parts of her previous conversations would come out as they talked but right now they needed to focus on their relationship, beginning with band camp.

"Ricky, we'll get to all that later. Right now I want to talk about us and how it all got so screwed up, starting with band camp."

"Band camp? Haven't we covered that already?"

"No."

"Well what's left to talk about?"

"Did you lie to me or do you just have a habit of changing your mind?"

"Huh?" Amy gave him an irritated look.

"Do you remember **any** of our conversations from band camp?"

"Yeah." _I remember all of them._

"Then answer the question. Did you lie to me or do you just have a habit of changing your mind?" Ricky mentally ran through all of their conversations and still wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"Amy, can you help me out here and just tell me what you're tryna get at instead of us playing twenty questions to get to a point." Amy gave him a look that said 'you asked for it.'

"First you told me you weren't looking for a girlfriend because you weren't boyfriend material. You later told me you were looking for a girlfriend and maybe I could be your girlfriend. You said after our late night snack that this could be the start to something big and then you acted like I was suddenly invisible after we had sex, not even speaking to me until six weeks later. So I'll ask you again. Did you lie to me at band camp or do you just have a habit of changing your mind?" Ricky shifted so he could lay his head against the back of the couch and then closed his eyes.

"It wasn't like that," he said to himself, not realizing he'd spoken out loud.

"Then what was it like." He turned to face her and Amy saw fear and worry in his eyes. They stared at each other for several moments before Ricky found the courage to speak.

"I was scared, Amy." He saw a mixture of surprise and confusion wash over her face.

"Of what?" He sighed.

"Amy, I meant every word when I told you I liked you and liked talking to you. It wasn't until I kissed you again and you wanted to leave that I realized I liked you liked you and it wasn't until after we'd had sex that I realized I was developing deeper feelings for you and that scared me." Amy was confused and tried to process what he'd just said. When she still couldn't make sense of it, she spoke up.

"Ricky, we'd only hung out for most of a day. I'm no expert so I don't know how long it actually takes for someone to develop a crush on somebody but why would thinking you had feelings for me scare you?"

"Because to have feelings for someone you have to let them get close to you and if you do that you can get hurt. With my childhood history I have a hard time letting people get close to me. Plus, I knew even then that you were special, Amy, and I was too screwed up to be your boyfriend." Amy gave him a curious look.

"What made you think that? You never **asked** me to be your girlfriend and we never dated. You didn't know me well enough to know if you were too screwed up for me." Ricky couldn't help but smile at that. _Leave it to Amy to point out the obvious after that fact._ "You told me why you were scared but you still haven't explained why you didn't speak to me again after school started." Ricky wasn't sure how to explain himself, but he'd try. He couldn't look Amy in the eye as he began speaking.

"Amy, when I realized I might have real feelings for you, my only thought was to run in the opposite direction from you as fast as I could until the feelings went away. In the process I met Adrian and she was a nice distraction. Then school started and there you were: in the hallways, in band class, at band practice. I finally approached you again because I was still attracted to you and still wanted to talk to you and I thought I'd outrun my other feelings for you." He finally looked at Amy and he saw in her eyes that she was processing what he'd just told her.

"Ricky, how'd you go from wanting to make out with me to having sex with me?" Ricky looked at Amy like she'd sprouted antlers or something.

"Uh, you were there too, remember? You know how it happened." Amy shook her head and Ricky gave her a disbelieving look. Amy brought her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her kneecaps. Ricky saw fear and pain in her eyes just before she lowered them to stare at the couch and Ricky had the sudden urge to hug her. He wasn't prepared for what she said next.

"It felt like I was being invaded, Ricky," she said quietly. He was struck by a sudden chill but had no time to respond because Amy continued. "You were the first guy I'd ever kissed. Kissing you felt nice, even though I didn't know what I was doing, and I kept telling myself to relax and just enjoy it. And then, out of nowhere, you moved to second base. From that point on, Ricky, I was having a mental debate with myself, too busy talking to myself trying to process what had just happened to be aware of you moving from one base to the next until you'd already done it. And when it was over, it had been so quick, awkward, and unromantic, nothing at all like in movies, romance novels, or on TV, that I wasn't even sure I had just **had** sex, until six weeks later when I was staring at that positive pregnancy test in my bathroom. You told me that you figured if I didn't stop you I must be on the pill or something but you somehow missed that I was too preoccupied and confused to have said **anything**. I need to know how you managed to transition from making out to having sex if you hadn't planned on doing it in the first place and you had feelings for me." Ricky had to look away from her again before responding.

"Amy, I honestly can't tell you how the shift happened. One minute we were making out and the next my libido kicked in and I just wanted to be closer to you. When you didn't stop me I kept going. I didn't realize you weren't prepared to go all the way until it was too late, Amy." He turned to face her but quickly looked away again as her expression made him flashback to that night. "You had that same look in your eyes that night. That's what made me run," he told her quietly.

"What look?" Amy asked, not sure what he was talking about.

"Your eyes are easy to read, Amy. That night, after we'd had sex, your eyes told me you were confused and hurt and all I wanted to do was hold you until the pain and confusion went away. That thought made me realize I cared about you, a lot, and I didn't know how to handle that." He placed his elbows on his thighs and ran his hands through his hair, disgusted with himself. _I wasn't worthy of you back then, Amy_. He turned his head to look at her, hoping he was explaining himself well enough. He was a little unsettled to find her looking at him so calmly.

"I wish you'd been brave enough to just tell me that back then, Ricky. You made me feel horrible about myself by running away from me without an explanation."

"I know I hurt you, Amy…" She interrupted him.

"No, you don't, Ricky." The sad tone of her voice silenced him. "I was shy and unsure of myself before I met you, still trying to become the wolf. When you dismissed me after that night, I felt worthless." Ricky mentally cringed at her words. He knew he'd hurt her, but never knew he'd made her feel so low. "I couldn't believe that I'd acted like a slut by having sex with some guy I'd just met and you confirmed that I was one because you used me as a one night stand and then you were done with me." Ricky began to tear up at her words. Amy was the most important woman in his life besides his mother and finding out he'd cut her so deeply emotionally was gut wrenching. He flashed back to his conversation with Ben in the hospital the day Amy went into labor. _I still don't deserve to have a child with Amy._ She scooted back on the couch until she was leaning back against the arm of the couch and tucked her legs under her; her right arm resting on the back of the couch and her left resting on her knee. Ricky scooted closer to her and reached for her left hand, relieved when she didn't pull away.

"Amy, I knew I hurt you by treating you so badly after that night. I just didn't know how much." He began rubbing his thumb in small circles over her hand, focusing on the action and not looking at her. Amy sighed and her voice lost its sad edge as she reassured him.

"There's a lot you didn't know about what was going on with me and my life beneath the surface because you never bothered to talk to me, Ricky. And we'll get into that more later on. Right now I need you to explain why you continued telling me things and then changing your mind after you decided to be involved in deciding our child's fate."

"What do you mean?" he looked up and said. _Time to start rehashing some of those earlier conversations_ Amy thought with an inward sigh.

"Well, let's start with your stance on adoption. When we talked about our baby for the first time, you told me you weren't against adoption so long as it was an open one. Then you were completely opposed to it, although I think your father showing up had something to do with it. You later told me you wanted me to keep our baby because you just didn't think you could handle handing him off to strangers. When I asked you to go along with my decision, you told me you would but then sabotaged our meeting with Donavan and Leon. Ben told me you'd admitted to him on your guys' first day of work that you wanted me to keep our baby. When and why did you change you stance on adoption and why'd you lie to me about it?" Ricky swallowed past the lump in his throat. He knew he'd been wrong to mislead Amy; back then he was just trying to buy himself some time. Too bad it didn't work out that way. He knew he owed her the truth; it was time to come clean and face the music. He cleared his throat before responding.

"My father coming back to town made me realize for the first time that I wasn't him, that I could be a better dad to my son than he was to me; I just needed you to give me a chance to do it. I meant what I said about not being sure I could just hold our son and then hand him off to strangers. I wanted you to keep him and for the two of us to raise him. I didn't know how we'd do it I just knew that I couldn't walk away from my son and I didn't want to. It wasn't that I changed my mind on a whim, Amy. I'd really thought about it and I wanted to raise my son, with you." He sighed, ashamed of himself, but continued. "I knew I'd hurt you by getting you pregnant and then trying to ignore you and that's why I didn't come right out and say I was against adoption after I realized this. I figured that as we spent time together, talked and got to know each other while looking for adoptive couples, you'd get to see that I wasn't such a bad guy and you'd change your mind and raise our son with me." Amy tried to pull her hand out of Ricky's grasp but he tightened his grip slightly so she couldn't. Her eyes filled with irritation at this and his eyes became pleading. "I know it was wrong of me to lie to you and lead on hopeful couples. I just couldn't say no to you at the time, Amy. You had your heart set on it and since I'd already hurt you I thought that if I went against you by saying no then you wouldn't let me get close enough to you to try and change your mind about me and keeping our son." A question suddenly came to mind. "And speaking of my father, I've got a question for you. Did you decide for sure to go the adoption route before or after you met my dad?"

"Before." At his disbelieving look Amy explained. "I was sitting on a couch with Ashley in the garage the night your dad dropped by. I'd just gotten home from babysitting and we started talking about how much it cost to take care of a kid. I realized I had to give my baby up for adoption because I wasn't qualified for anything and without a job I couldn't afford to raise a child on my own." Ricky suddenly felt ashamed for snapping at Amy the day after he found out Bob was in town. He'd accused her of wanting to give their baby up because she was afraid of him doing to their son what Bob had done to him. That thought made him wonder something.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"Did your parents try to talk you into adoption after they found out Bob was in town? Afraid I might be just like him or something?"

"No. My parents accepted your past and the fact you were still dealing with what your father had done to you." Ricky was taken aback at her words.

"How do you know that?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"Because they both made an effort to get Bob outta town." Ricky's curiosity was quickly replaced by confusion.

"And how do you know **that**?" Amy sighed. She didn't see how the answer to his question was relevant but since he didn't appear to be letting it go, she would answer.

"Bob came to our front door and spoke with my dad after introducing himself to me in our driveway. I heard Bob speaking to my dad and accusing you of being a liar. After he left I sat both of my parents down to tell them that I knew Bob had abused you. My mom told me yesterday while we were talking that my dad went over to your parent's house to see if they had any ideas about how to get him outta town and your dad told mine what Bob was really up to. When my dad told my mom she confronted him at a gas station when she ran into him and told him to leave the three of us alone." She raised her face to look at Ricky and saw surprise and gratitude in his eyes.

"Your parents believed you, and took my side?" he asked, his voice breaking a little. "I thought your dad hated me back then." Amy giggled.

"Ricky, my dad might've hated you for getting his little girl pregnant but no decent parent is gonna stand by and let some creep hurt a child, or their grandchild. Besides, he likes you a little better now." Ricky chuckled and nodded in agreement. "I knew when I told you that next day I'd settled on adoption you might be against it simply because you were upset about your dad being in town. And now that I know why he was around, I've been wondering about something though. Do you think you would've stuck around for John if Bob hadn't helped you change your mind about adoption?"

"I'd like to think so but I don't know. When I realized I had more respect for myself and my son not to sell him to the highest bidder I realized for the first time that I'm not my father. And after our hug in the hallway, I wanted nothing more than to raise our son with you." Amy could hear the sincerity in his voice and the nervous way he was glancing at her from underneath his eyelashes showed it. She squeezed his hand for a moment to let him know she understood and she had forgiven him. She still had a question about his attempt to sabotage her relationship with Ben, however.

"Now that we've cleared up the adoption issue, I wanna ask you about you and Ben." Ricky sighed, already guessing the questions she was going to ask him and simply nodded. "I spoke to Ben on Saturday and he told me that you had plans to 'steal me' from him before John was born. What was that all about?" Ricky had to think back for a moment and Amy quietly let him. She noticed his facial expression change the moment he remembered. He looked down at her hand is his and held it a little tighter, not wanting her to pull it away when he answered her question.

"That was part attraction and part manipulation." He looked up at Amy and sighed at her questioning look. "I told you, I was still attracted to you and Ben and I didn't like each other because we both liked you."

"That's not an explanation, Ricky. I already know that."

"Okay, okay. Ben was the good guy who was standing by your side. I was the bad boy who'd gotten you pregnant and hadn't treated you very nicely. He wanted to step up and be a father and so did I. The problem was I had run from my feelings for you and, since I'd gotten you pregnant, you weren't likely to give me another chance as long as your boyfriend was around." He sighed, irritated with himself over his past behavior. "Telling Ben I would find a way to win you and his dad over to my side was just a low blow to try and get him to walk away from you. I took it back though," he added quickly.

"Took it back how?"

"I could see that even though you were having my baby and I wanted to raise my son, I wasn't the best guy for you. Ben was and on top of that he made you happy. You deserved to be happy so I decided not to get in the way of that. I told him our first day of work that I shouldn't be trying to get on his dad's good side; I should be trying to be on Ben's good side because he could convince you to keep our son. He told me he wanted you to keep our son too so the two of us agreed to work together and try to be friends so that would happen." _That was what Ben told me so so far he's being honest with me._ Amy sighed and stared down at the couch before asking her next question, knowing they were now moving into territory that was still emotionally painful for her.

"Okay. So was that the moment you decided to stop trying to date me and only have me as your baby mama?" There was something off about the way she said that. Ricky gave Amy a quizzical look. He knew she wasn't saying something.

"What **aren't** you asking me in that question?"

"I'm wondering when I transformed from someone you were attracted to and had feeling for into someone you simply tolerated because you had to," she replied with a serious face.

"WHAT!? When did I ever treat you like that!?" he asked, shocked that Amy had ever felt that way. She didn't speak right away, trying to decide how to answer his question. "Amy!?" She still didn't know how to answer him.

"It was pretty obvious, Ricky. What other conclusion was I supposed to come to?"

"Amy, I did what I could to help you out and try to make things easier on you. I went out of my way to try to stay on your good side. If you think I was just trying to tolerate you then I need you to explain what I did or said that made you think that." Amy sighed and finally succeeded in removing her hand from Ricky's.

"I'm gonna need you to let me talk for a while without interrupting." When Ricky nodded, she tucked her hair behind her left ear and began telling Ricky how she had felt back then. "After the way you treated me after band camp, I had a hard time understanding how a guy who had seemed so nice and had found me attractive could treat me like that. After my doctor confirmed I was pregnant, I only went out with Ben the first time as a distraction; to give myself more time to figure out how to tell my parents and what to do. I honestly believed once he found out I was pregnant he'd walk away from me too so what was the harm in delaying the inevitable. When he stayed and continued treating me like I was special, I thought that I'd finally met a guy who loved me and I fell in love with him. I rushed to marry him because I was scared. My due date was coming, I hadn't found an adoptive couple and I was scared to try and raise a baby on my own. I needed and wanted someone who cared about me to take care of me so I could take care of my baby. At that point having someone's love and help was more important than financial support, given my rapidly dissolving family." Ricky was too ashamed and filled with too much guilt to be able to speak.

"After John was born I was angry and lashed out at whoever was closest to me at the time. I was angry because I was stressed and felt invisible. My friends and the rest of the world were moving on with their lives while I was tied down with a baby and instead of typical teenage drama I was focused on my son. With motherhood, school, work, and my freak show family, I was stressed out and the only person really helping me was you, someone that was better at taking care of my baby than I was and who didn't care about me." Ricky opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it, remembering he'd promised to let Amy speak her mind. "I was angry at myself because I'd been too stupid and naïve to keep myself from becoming pregnant and part of the stressfulness of my life was my own fault. So, I lashed out and blamed you. It was easy to do because you were a constant reminded that I was stressed because I was a teenage mother but you also constantly reminded me that you were only around for John. If I hadn't gotten pregnant you wouldn't even know I still existed. I was so hurt by that thought that I even went so far as trying to convince myself I hated you. Yes, I know I told you I hated you, but I never actually did. I couldn't." Ricky was too stunned to speak, even though he desperately wanted to tell Amy she was wrong about how he felt about her. She shifted on the couch and continued.

"Every time I looked at John I could see you in him, Ricky. John wouldn't be the same little boy we love if he wasn't the exact mix of you and me that he is. I love John unconditionally and so no matter how stressed and unhappy I was, I couldn't bring myself to actually hate you; you gave me John. It's for that reason alone that I love you and care about what's going on in your life. And before you freak out on me I only said that I love you; I'm not in love with you. That was one of the main reasons I was so irritated with you too. I love you because you're my son's father but you don't love me. If you did, I would've been a part of your life and you would've cared about my feelings. You never told me anything about your parents, introduced me to them, or had me over to your house. You were a part of my life and family because of our son but I was just your son's mother. We weren't romantically involved and we weren't even friends really. I didn't understand how you could make John a part of your life and family and not his mother. I didn't want to be romantically involved with you back then or anything but it would've been nice to know that even when there was nothing related to John for us to discuss you cared if I was still breathing."

"I did and I still do!" Amy was startled at Ricky's sudden outburst. He huffed out a frustrated breath, upset that he'd made Amy feel that way and irritated that he'd forgot raised voices might wake up John. "I know I agreed to let you talk and I'll let you continue after I explain something to you, Amy. I care about you in a way different from anyone I've ever cared about **because** you're the mother of my son. As John's mother you're the person I care about most next to him, and sometimes more than him. Amy, after John was born my main concerns were to help you take care of him and stay on your good side so I could keep seeing John. I was over at your house constantly and I gave you every dime I could. I came over after work to help you put him to bed and I was over on the weekends to help you out too. Like I told you, I knew you were tired and stressed and I was willing to help you out any way I could. I love you too, Amy, and I have since the moment I held John for the first time and it hit me that you'd given me a son. I even told your dad that I love you and was still attracted to you shortly after John was born, not that he was thrilled to hear it. The point is you matter to me, Amy! You have since the moment I decided I wanted to be involved in deciding what happened to our baby. I know I could've and should've done more for you and all I can do is tell you how genuinely sorry I am I didn't do better by you when I should've. I **need** you to understand that you **matter** to me, Amy! And you always will!" he reached for her hand again and Amy let him take it.

"Ricky, I know you were doing your best to be a good father to John and help me out as much as you could. I'm sorry for not letting you know that I noticed or telling you how much I appreciated it. You didn't deserve for me to verbally assault you every time you came over and I shouldn't have told you I hated you when I knew that I didn't. When you love someone you don't do things to hurt them. We both dropped the ball on that one." Ricky wasn't following her and she could see it in his eyes. "Ricky, you knew I didn't get along with your girlfriend and yet you kept telling her our business and allowing her to be around my son. Not once did you ask me why I didn't like Adrian or want her around John. Why was that?"

"Amy, Adrian only made digs at you because she was jealous that I was spending time around you."

"So why did you keep seeing her knowing she was going to continue picking at me instead of dealing with her jealousy?" Ricky sighed, knowing his answer wasn't a good enough reason.

"I liked the sex." He sighed and continued. "Adrian put a lot of effort into trying to keep me away from you and that effort meant sleeping with me." Amy rolled her eyes.

"So sex was more important to you than my mental health or being my friend?"

"Say what?"

"You weren't around the two of us all the time Ricky. You didn't hear the types of things she said and implied to me." This was news to Ricky.

"What kind of things?"

"The kind of things that made me uncomfortable with her being around my son or knowing our business. And when I told you I wasn't comfortable with Adrian being around John, you basically blew me off and dismissed my concerns. That hurt you know."

"I'm sorry, Amy. I wasn't trying to blow you off I just thought you were blowing things out of proportion and couldn't take a little teasing. Tell me though. What kind of things did she say? What kind of concerns did you have?" he pressed. It was Amy's turn to exhale a frustrated huff.

"She implied that you would never love me and would in fact forever hate me because by keeping our baby I'd ruined your life. She also implied that because she was willing to sleep with you, she'd replace me as John's 'real' mother someday and the two of you would raise him as a 'real' family." Ricky's jaw dropped in shock and his eyes quickly filled with anger. "Needless to say," Amy continued, "I didn't want her around my son taking care of him or poisoning him against me." Ricky's anger suddenly dissipated and was quickly replaced by regret.

"I didn't know she thought that, Amy. I'd never let someone else replace you, not that they could." Amy chuckled.

"You thought she'd come out and tell you what she thought about me to your face? You just admitted you knew she was trying to keep you away from me and you encouraged her efforts by continuing to sleep with her. She had no **reason** to tell you she wanted me out of the picture because your actions let her know you didn't care if things between you and your son's mother were tense. Sex was more important to you than getting along with your baby mama. I get that I had no say in your love or sex life because we weren't romantically involved, but I wasn't just voicing an opinion about your choice of girlfriend for the heck of it, Ricky. I kept talking to you about her because I wasn't comfortable with her being around my son." Ricky hung his head in shame.

"I should've just asked you why." Ricky saw Amy nod her head out of the corner of his eye. "I honestly thought Adrian was just acting out of jealousy and you were taking the bait. Especially when you called her a slut." Amy chuckled humorlessly.

"Stooping to name calling only happens when you take the bait and Adrian figured out exactly how to push my buttons. **Now** I can see how petty and immature it was. At the time I was simply looking for a way to pick on her for picking on me and throwing her reputation in her face seemed like the best way to do that."

"Amy, if I'd known how bad she was making you feel I would've broken things off with her a lot sooner."

"Are you sure? You cheated on her a couple of times and still got back together with her. How can you be so sure you would've broken up with her just because you found out she was taking her teasing of me too far?"

"Because John was the most important thing in my life and I didn't want anything to take him away from me." Amy tilted her head in confusion and Ricky turned his body to face her and reached for her hand again, but she pulled it away.

"After you told me John was never coming over to my apartment again, I asked Adrian to apologize to you and not make problems for me because I wanted to keep seeing my son. I found out later that she'd made you mad and gotten you suspended and asked her to apologize again." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before staring at the couch cushion. "I know my relationship with Adrian was toxic but it took her sleeping with Ben, someone I considered to be my friend at the time, for me to finally be able to walk away from her for good. I'm sorry she did so much damage in the meantime."

"Ricky," she asked curiously and he lifted his head to look her in the eye. "If you knew back then that Adrian was doing her best to keep things tense between us, why did you tell her about our business?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did I or did I not ask you **not** to tell anyone that you had spent the night at my house the first summer after John was born?" Ricky looked away guiltily, his reaction the only answer Amy needed. "Did you know she told Ben?" Ricky swiveled his head back to look at her with his brows knitted but didn't respond. "Apparently Ben and Adrian felt like third wheels since their significant others were involved with someone else they weren't in love with so they chatted. She told Ben that you'd spent the night at my house and he was so upset about it he stopped calling me the last two weeks he was in Bologna."

"I didn't know. I told her not to say anything it was just that she kept pestering me the day after those nights about where I'd been or why I hadn't returned her calls or texts. I didn't know it made problems for you and Ben."

"Ricky, I asked you not to tell anyone because I was embarrassed about it."

"Why? We didn't do anything wrong. We were just taking care of our son."

"Even though that's true, I was embarrassed that I couldn't take care of my own baby as well as his father could. Admit it, Ricky. You could soothe John and get him to sleep quicker than I could and more consistently too. It made me feel like an incompetent mother as well as feeling embarrassed. **That's** why I didn't want anyone to know that I'd needed help taking care of my own child at night that first summer or that the help I got came from you."

"Amy, I didn't know you felt that way about it. I should've just done what you asked me to do." Amy sighed. "But it's not like you never told Ben what we talked about," he shot back, a little defensively. Amy shook her head.

"Ricky, I unintentionally pushed Ben aside a lot while he and I were dating so I could talk to you about our son. You remember how he got Mr. Molina to call us both into his office to talk?" Ricky smirked and nodded his head, remembering that day and how he told Ben to just show up at Amy's if he wanted to be there. "I hadn't told him about our plan to talk that night because it was a conversation you and I needed to have about our son. Ben got to have an opinion about certain things, like suggesting I call you to be there the day I went into labor, but conversations that you and I needed to have about our son I kept between the two of us."

"Wait, Ben suggested you call me to be there for John's birth?" Amy nodded. That was definitely news to Ricky. _I might not have been there the day my son was born if it weren't for Ben?_ Ricky made a mental note to thank Ben the next time he saw him. Then he remembered Adrian was pregnant and vetoed that idea_. I'll just keep that information to myself._ "Amy, I feel like a broken record." Amy raised her eyebrows in question. "I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry I hurt you; I didn't know." This time Amy reached for his left hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He quickly covered it with his right hand so she wouldn't let go just yet.

"Ricky, it's like I said. There's a lot about what was going on with me and in my life that you didn't know about because you never bothered to talk to me. Oh sure we talked about John and some of the drama with our twisted circle of friends and you knew some of what was going on with my family based on what you overheard, but you never made the effort to talk to me about how I was **really** doing, what was **really** going on with me. A lot of it was me trying to piece my dysfunctional life back together after those other shoes I mentioned dropped." Ricky scooted closer to her on the couch, taking her other hand so that he was now holding both of hers in his.

"Amy, tell me about the other shoes that dropped, please." His eyes both pleaded with her and let her know she had his undivided attention. She took a deep breath and began.

"When you first told me you'd changed your mind about wanting to be involved after talking to my dad, part of me knew that I'd have to talk to you eventually so we could process adoption paperwork and that little voice in the back of my head told me that you were going to change your mind down the road. When you told me you'd go along with the adoption and were looking forward to meeting Donovan and Leon, I was livid with you when you sabotaged it. When you promised me you'd help take care of John, that little voice told me someday you were gonna change your mind and leave and I would be left having to explain to my son that even though his father loved him, he wasn't ready to be a father and decided to walk away from him. My biggest fear, Ricky, was that John was going to know you, love you, trust you and then be even more devastated when you changed your mind and left simply because he would be emotionally attached to you when it happened. John was almost a year old when that fear of you leaving became a reality. When Ben stopped calling me from Bologna that little voice told me we were going to break up. Sure enough we broke up, after I found out he'd cheated on me and then lied about it. News about my dad's fake vasectomy started spreading around school and that little voice said that news was too serious of a lie to be fake but Ashley talked me out of believing it, even though she already knew it was true. When my dad finally confessed to my mom he'd lied, that little voice turned out to be right again. As a side note it's also because of his lie that Adrian even knew he would need to sell his house soon to move back in with my mom. When my friends and family stopped talking to me while I was in New York, that little voice told me something big was going on back home and they were keeping it from me. After Ben came and told me about Adrian, I found out that everyone back home already knew and had kept it from me, like that little voice suspected. The last straw, or I guess the last shoe, was the conversation we started when I came home from New York early."

"Amy, I don't know how to begin to explain my actions or apologize for what I've done to you in the past. And after listening to what you've said tonight I'm not sure I **deserve** your forgiveness for any of it." Amy gave his hands a reassuring squeeze, causing him to look at her with a questioning gaze. She smiled back at him.

"Ricky, with all the conversations I've had over the past four days I've learned that a lot of problems in relationships happen simply because the people involved don't really know what's going on because no one's really talking. Sure a lot of people are speaking but there's no real heart-to-heart conversations going on. No one's asking the hard or uncomfortable questions. I've also learned that sometimes those questions don't get asked because the people who need to talk about them don't or can't trust each other." Amy chuckled. "I know that's why I'd never spoken to either one of your parents before Saturday night."

"Huh?"

"I went over to your parent's house for dinner Saturday night because I needed to talk to them."

"About what?"

"I wanted to understand why they, like you, accepted John into their family but wanted nothing to do with me." She shook her head to stop him from speaking when she saw him open his mouth to defend them. "And before you say anything I already cleared all that up with them. I now know that they've always been concerned about my feelings and were simply butting out of our business, deciding to let us work things out for ourselves. I let them know that by not reaching out to me I thought they didn't want anything to do with me so I didn't bother trying to reach out to them. We agreed to start spending some time together and talking more so we can get to know each other better."

"Amy, I never meant to make you feel unwelcome in my family. I was just trying not to rock the boat, to let you set the rules of our relationship because I wanted to keep spending time with my son." His last statement caught her off guard for a moment.

"Then why did it take you leaving and coming back for you to change your mind?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just said you were willing to let me set the boundaries of our relationship where John was concerned. So why the mediation?" Ricky sighed.

"I always wondered if you were still secretly angry with me about that."

"No, and not for the reasons you've probably assumed."

"Come again?"

"Why do you **think** I'm angry with you about it?"

"Well, you told me you didn't want me and any dates to play house with John and you just told me you didn't trust my parents, plus the simple fact that I took legal action against you." He looked at her hesitantly, trying to prepare himself for the reasons she was actually angry with him about their mediated agreement.

"How often have you thought about us and the distant future where it concerns John?" His questioning look was once again all the answer Amy needed and she continued. "I began thinking about it the day after I decided to keep John. I realized that if we were going to raise a son together we'd always have to live near each other. That was going to be difficult once you graduated from high school. If you went away to school, I'd be raising John by myself and he'd wonder why daddy wasn't around so much anymore. I also knew that I couldn't go away to school because I couldn't afford out of state tuition plus the childcare I'd need to pay for to take John with me and separating John from his daddy for extended periods of time wasn't fair to either one of you. I love my son unconditionally, Ricky, but I'm just his mother. I can't teach him all the things only a father can teach a son. After you came back and told me what custody arrangement you wanted, I rejected it because I was angry and scared."

"Scared!? Didn't you trust me to take good care of our son at that point, my little disappearing act aside!?" he let go of her hands and she crossed her arms.

"It had nothing to do with your ability as a caregiver."

"Say what?"

"Ricky, you like to sleep around and you had your own apartment to do so in. If John was at your apartment every weekend all weekend, there was no way for me to know who else was around my son, what he might see or hear, or who might be influencing his moral compass, for good or bad."

"You honestly think I'd have sex in front on John!?"

"Ashley heard my parents having sex in the garage while they were separated and they'd thought they were being pretty careful about it so you never know when your child might hear or see something they shouldn't. Besides worrying about my son's moral upbringing, you planned to leave him in the care of a woman who was a complete stranger to me. Granted you love her like a mother and she's a foster parent so the state of California vouches for her, but I didn't know anything about her and caregivers play a direct role in shaping the character and personality of children. Those fears aside, I was angry at you about your proposed arrangement for several reasons. One, it would legally force me to stay away from my baby during the only time of the week that I have to spend the most quality one-on-one time with him. Two, it meant my college options were restricted to wherever you chose to live after graduating from college. And three, my future career options were restricted to whatever you chose as your career. I know the judgment was fair and I had no right to try to come between you and John when you were willing to be a permanent part of his life. I was just too scared and angry to see that at first. It wasn't until we were sitting in that room that I knew I was wrong and needed to admit it." Ricky hung his head for a moment then quickly raised it again to look Amy in the eye.

"Back up. How would my future plans affect your college and career plans? I'm not going to college."

"Ricky, the judgment states that you pick John up from my house Friday nights before his bedtime and I pick him Sunday nights before his bedtime. That means that until John's eighteen we have to live relatively close to each other so we can both get back and forth to each other's houses. So, I have to go to college in state and after I graduate I can only work in the same city you live in." Ricky was speechless for a moment. He'd never thought about how joint custody was going to affect Amy after high school. He wanted to apologize but he wanted to discuss the rest of Amy's issues with their agreement before he did.

"I admit I never actually thought about that since I have no plans to go anywhere, again. What I don't get is why you were angry about me wanting to spend one-on-one time with John when you get to do that every day all week." Amy shook her head and gave Ricky a patronizing smile.

"Did you learn **anything** about my weekly schedule living at my house for four weeks?" Amy saw realization slowly spread over Ricky's face. He closed his eyes and sighed. "And how much quality one-on-one time did you **actually** have to spend with John?" _Not much. Oh man did I screw up. How'd I miss that?_ Ricky opened his eyes and looked at her, already knowing his apology and understanding were coming too little too late.

"Amy, I guess from my point of view at the time I thought having custody of John for the whole weekend would give us equal amounts of quality time with him. Plus I was angry that you told me you didn't want my son to love me. I know **now** that you were just scared of me hurting him by leaving and I get that, but when you said that I was hurt and angry and it made me sure I was going to go through with it. I also didn't realize until I was walking in your shoes that the only time you really have alone with John is in the morning and for an hour or two after work. No wonder you're angry about me for wanting to take John for the whole weekend."

"Ricky, I'm not angry about it anymore. I told you, I realized it was wrong of me to try to come between the two of you. I've just come to terms with it and I try to make the most of the time I do get to spend alone with John. I'm a little more comfortable with the fact your mom watches him Saturday mornings now and I'd already decided how to deal with future birthdays and holidays that fall on weekends so the mediation itself is no longer an issue for me."

"And how exactly **are** you going to deal with those birthdays and holidays?" he asked curiously. Amy shrugged.

"He and I will just celebrate them early or after the fact." Irritation flashed in Ricky's eyes.

"So two birthdays again?"

"Yes," she answered cautiously, not sure why Ricky's expression was telling her he had a problem with her plan.

"Why can't we just agree to celebrate all major holidays and his birthdays together as a family, including your family and my parents? It's not like we can't alter the arrangement when we both agree to. That's why the three of us spent his first birthday together, remember?" Amy smiled, remembering how much she enjoyed celebrating John's first birthday with just the two of them present.

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. From now on the three of us will celebrate all major holidays and John's birthdays together, no matter if they fall on a weekday or the weekend. And we'll make sure to include our families."

"Deal." Ricky smiled and Amy smiled back. They were making progress. Ricky turned serious again moments later.

"Why didn't you just explain all of your concerns to me when I was explaining to you why I wanted joint custody?"

"I couldn't trust you."

"With what? That information?"

"Ricky, as we've been talking tonight I've told you that you've demonstrated a pattern of saying one thing and then changing your mind. Plus, I told you my biggest fear was that one day you wouldn't be there for John and you told me you'd never leave him, only to turn around and do just that a few weeks later. You'd never made any attempt to really talk to me about how I felt below the surface about issues concerning our son and you didn't listen to me when I revealed my fears to you or told you about any concerns I had, such as having Adrian around John. Why would I tell you any more of my fears let alone explain them in depth? It's like I said, we've never had a real heart-to-heart, personal conversation about ourselves or our relationship to our son, until that weekend in New York, and we didn't even really resolve anything."

"I guess we **really** dropped the ball when it came to communication, huh?" Amy nodded. "So what do we do about it now? How do we fix it?"

"I don't know, Ricky. I don't know how we openly communicate when I'm still not sure I can trust you to be honest with me or keep your word. I don't know what happened to us in New York. It was like we were in another dimension or something. With no one else around to get in our business and no external drama to distract us it was like we connected as friends, or at least two people working on becoming friends. We were even able to talk about our son like two, responsible adults working together to raise their child as partners. I don't know where we go from here."

"Amy, we're gonna be in each other's lives for the rest of our lives. We can't keep doing what we've been doing. It's not working for me and it obviously hasn't been working for you either. We've gotta try **something**." They were both quiet for several minutes, lost in their own head space.

"Ricky?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you think it was time for us to really talk two weeks ago and not any time before then?" Ricky licked his suddenly dry lips. _I don't know how to tell her without freaking her out but I guess it's now or never._ He chuckled.

"Because absence makes the heart grow fonder." Amy gave him a confused look and he chuckled again.

"Amy, I walked in your shoes for four weeks and I realized two things after those first two weeks." Curiosity washed over Amy's face as Ricky continued. "I realized that I had no clue what you went through on a daily basis all week and," he suddenly paused, looking away from her and blushing slightly before finishing his sentence. "I missed you."

"Why?"

"Huh?" her question caught him off guard.

"Why would you miss me? It's not like we've ever been all that close." Ricky ran a hand through his hair, still unable to face Amy out of embarrassment and frustration over his jumbled emotions.

"I meant it when I told you that I hated talking to you over the phone, I just left out a few things. I knew you were a good mother to our son and took good care of him I just didn't realize how much or what you were doing when I wasn't around and I felt so guilty for not helping you more; it's no wonder you're stressed and tired a lot. And I know they're your family and all but your parents can be pretty ridiculous and petty sometimes and I felt bad that you had to deal with their drama when you went home at night. You're stronger than you realize, Amy, physically and mentally, putting up with me **and** all of that. I missed being able to talk to you face to face. I missed seeing you every day in the hallways at school and over at your house after work. It's true what they say that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone and when you weren't physically around anymore, every day it just felt like something important was missing in my life. Living your life for two weeks also showed me just how much I'd taken you for granted. When I saw an opportunity to see you again I jumped at it. And I'm glad I did." He finally looked back at her and saw her giving him a look of disbelief.

"Did you realize you missed me before or after you lead on Ashley?" He sighed in frustration.

"Amy, we already talked about that kiss. It was a mistake and I'd never sleep with your little sister."

"That wasn't what I asked you. I asked if you started to miss me before or after leading on my sister." Ricky had to take a moment to think about it.

"I liked flirting with her and she flirted back, but it wasn't anything serious." Amy shook her head at him.

"Ricky, how could you possibly think it was okay to flirt with your son's aunt if you had no intention of having a relationship with her? Haven't you figure out by now that some of the girls you mess around with get their feelings hurt because whatever you're doing with them actually means something to them? You hurt her, Ricky."

"I know," he said with regret. "She was pretty mad at me afterwards. It's why she told you about it after the fact too. Look, I like Ashley, as a friend, and I care about what happens to her because she's my son's aunt and your sister." He gave a mirthless chuckle. "Apparently I have a bad habit of kissing the Juergens girls when I shouldn't."

"So why did you kiss us?"

"I already told you why I kissed you and, funny enough, it's the same reason I kissed Ashley: I wanted to, I had an opportunity to and so I did."

"Did either of those kisses mean anything to you?"

"Yours did."

"Why?"

"Because I'm still attracted to you, Amy. I've never **stopped** being attracted to you."

"Ricky, why did you lead on Adrian and Ashley if you were just waiting for a chance to hook up with me again?"

"Because I'm selfish alright!" Amy was startled by his sudden outburst. "I knew I wasn't good enough for you but that didn't stop me from wanting to be around you. I also knew you weren't interested in having sex with me again because I'd already gotten you pregnant and I like having sex, Amy. Adrian was interested and we enjoyed it so we kept seeing each other. As for Ashley, I liked talking to and just hanging out with her and I enjoyed our little flirting game so I kept it going, until I kissed her and then instantly regretted it." Amy shook her head.

"Ricky, you can't play with people's emotions. I did that unintentionally with Ben and I feel horrible about it. I hurt Adrian without thinking it through when I kissed you and I felt bad about that too. Do you regret **any** of the people you've hurt by treating them like toys?" He looked her in the eye and spoke with complete honesty.

"Yes, Amy, I do. And the person I regret hurting more than anything is you." He reached for one of her hands again and she let him take it, realizing that holding her hand somehow made Ricky feel better.

"You still haven't told me when you started to miss me."

"It happened gradually I guess. It wasn't until we were talking at the end of that second week that my frustrations about your absence really hit me. Especially when you told me about the end of the program and I realized I wanted you to come home and you wanted to stay away longer and that didn't sit well with me because I missed you." Amy chuckled, earning a confused look from Ricky.

"I missed you too, Ricky." She giggled when he smiled back at her. "Part of the program involved group discussion sessions. Listening to some of other girls' stories made me realize that I was lucky. My parents hadn't kicked me out and disowned me when they found out I was pregnant; my two best friends didn't turn their backs on me, completely; and my relationship with you could've been worse or non-existent." He smirked, remembering their phone conversation before he flew out to New York.

"I thought you said we weren't in a relationship?" Amy smirked back at him.

"I couldn't think of a better word to use just now, okay." Something she'd just said piqued his curiosity.

"What did you mean your best friends didn't turn their backs on you completely?"

"Well, they were indirectly responsible for word getting out I was pregnant with your baby and Lauren talked about me behind my back to you when you made out with her." Ricky had the decency to look ashamed for kissing Lauren.

"Amy, Lauren's nice and all but I was just trying to get her to give me your phone number."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah. She told me. You shouldn't have tried to manipulate her though."

"True. Wait, are you sticking up for Lauren even though she made out with me willingly?"

"Yes, because you hurt her."

"I did? How?"

"She thought that when you opened up to her about your childhood that you were interested in actually having a relationship with her. When you didn't call her or acknowledge her the next day, she knew you'd played her by trying to make her feel sorry for you so she'd give you what you were after. In this case my phone number." Ricky had no response. "You could've just waited until I called you like I said I would."

"I know." Amy let him sit there quietly processing and organizing this thoughts. "Amy?"

"Hmmm?"

"How do you know they let it get out that you were pregnant?"

"Lauren told Jason hoping he could give her some medical advice about pregnancy she could give me. He let it slip in the boys' locker room." He didn't hide the surprise on his face quick enough.

"How do you know that?"

"I asked him how he found out, trying to figure out who spilled the beans first, and he told me. Then I asked him if he'd told anybody and he told me who he'd told and where. Speaking of spilling the beans, how did **you** find out I was pregnant with your baby?"

"I heard Jason in the locker room." Amy thought back to all the information she'd learned and remembered that Alice and Henry had told Ben she'd had sex with Ricky and another question came to mind.

"Ricky, do you know how Adrian found out you were interested in me before word got out about my pregnancy?" Ricky sighed, remembering the day Amy asked him point blank if he'd told anyone about them sleeping together and he'd lied to her face.

"Yeah, I told her we'd slept together at band camp." Amy hadn't expected that to be the answer to her question. She suddenly remembered asking Ricky the same question he knew he'd lied about. Ricky could see it in her eyes and beat her to the punch. "Yes, I lied to you when you asked me if I'd told anyone about us because I honestly didn't think Adrian was gonna say anything." He sighed and explained, already knowing what she was going to ask him next. "She saw me talking to you outside the band room and said there was no way I could seriously be interested in you and I told her that some girls don't broadcast their sex life. She got annoyed and said you looked like you'd never even been kissed and I just smirked at her, knowing I was the first guy to ever kiss you. She pestered me about it so I told her we were together at band camp, thinking it might make her jealous enough to sleep with me again and it did. You already know what she did about it," he finished with a sigh, shifting so he could once again lean his head on the back of the couch and stare at the ceiling. There were several minutes of silence before it was broken by Amy's laughter. Ricky turned his head to the left to look at her like she'd lost her mind.

"We are so dysfunctional." He kept staring at her like she was crazy, having no idea where she was going with this. Amy chuckled. "Think about it. First we maybe developed romantic feelings for each other at band camp. Then we were too busy with other relationships and raising our son to do anything about them. It was only after we were single again and apart while I was in New York that we realized maybe those feelings were still there. Now we're both in the same place again but where exactly does that leave us since even though we know each other a little better now I'm not sure I can trust you to be honest with me and you're not ready for a monogamous relationship?" Ricky couldn't help but laugh.

"I have no idea but I think we really need to figure out if we're truly over band cap." This time Amy looked at Ricky like he was the crazy one. "Think about it, Amy. I had feelings for you at band camp and then ran from them. You told me that night that you thought you felt the same way about me that I felt about you and then you were too confused about what happened and angry about getting pregnant to know for sure." He sighed, suddenly very serious. "I honestly think we need to figure out if we still have feelings for each other that we've just been avoiding or we're never gonna be able to figure out what we're gonna be to each other for the rest of our lives."

"How are we supposed to do that, Ricky? How are we supposed to try a romantic relationship if you wanna have sex but I'm not ready to do it again and I want an exclusive relationship but you aren't ready for monogamy?" Ricky shook his head.

"I have no idea, Amy." She shifted so that she could also lean her head against the back of the couch. They sat there for a solid five minutes with their eyes closed, trying to come up with a solution. Amy sat up and turned to face Ricky, thinking she had a way to solve their dilemma.

"Ricky."

"Yeah," he said, opening his eyes and turning his head to face her.

"I think the best option is to first see if we can get along as friends."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's say we tried a romantic relationship and it didn't work out. We'd still be in each other's lives because of John so we would need to find some way to become friends, at least for his sake. Why don't we just try to be friends first and see if any romantic feelings surface?" She had Ricky's attention now, or at least his curiosity.

"I'm listening."

"Why don't the three of us spend time together as a family for a while, like the rest of the summer. We could go on family outings one weekend a month or have dinner together once a week, like we did tonight. You and I would be working together as a team and spending quality time with our son plus we'd be talking and getting to know each other better. Since we wouldn't be dating you wouldn't feel pressured to be in a relationship you're not ready for and you could still sleep around, if you wanted to." Ricky looked at her impressed. That sounded like a perfect solution. But was hanging out together once a week really gonna do it?

"That sounds like a good idea, Amy. I just wonder, is us hanging out with John once a week really gonna help us build a friendship?"

"What do you mean?"

"You suggested we have dinner as a family once a week and spend time as a family one weekend a month. Why not every weekend?"

"Weekends are your time with John," she answered, thinking her answer was obvious. Ricky rolled his eyes at her.

"Didn't we just agree to alter the agreement and spend all holidays and birthdays together with John? I'm willing to spend every Saturday this summer doing something with you and John if it means we can figure out what we are to each other or what we want to be. What do you say?" Amy smiled and nodded.

"Okay."

"Okay." They shared another smile and then Amy yawned. Checking his phone Ricky saw that it was 1:00 AM. "We should be getting to bed." Amy nodded and got up to head to the bedroom.

"Good night, Ricky," Amy said with a smile.

"Good night, Amy," he replied, also with a smile. He waited until Amy shut the bedroom door before turning off the lights in the living area and making himself comfortable on the couch. He had just gotten himself situated for the night at the same time Amy had gotten comfortable under the sheets of his bed. Even though they couldn't see each other, they both fell asleep with a smile on their faces, happy to have cleared the air just a little bit.


	22. Parties & Plans

John woke up bright and early at 6:15 AM. Amy got him dressed and ready for the day and placed him back in his crib with a toy to play while she got dressed and packed their pajamas in their respective bags. She carried John and their bags into the living room and quietly placed their bags by the front door before setting him down near his toys to play. Ricky was still sound asleep. She walked over to him and gently shook his shoulder to wake him. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled, inwardly happy that Amy was the first thing he'd seen upon waking up.

"Morning," he said. She smiled back.

"Morning." The sounds of John playing drew Ricky's attention as he sat up and stretched. "Let me grab a shower real quick and then I'll make us some breakfast."

"You don't have to," Amy assured him. "Cereal would be fine."

"I want to, Amy. Can you set the table while I'm getting ready?" She nodded and he went to shower. As he showered Ricky couldn't help but think about their conversation from last night. _I wonder what else I missed_ he wondered. He realized he needed to have a few conversations of his own with people the rest of this week. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was still a lot left for him and Amy to talk about. _I'll ask her about it at breakfast. Maybe we'll have another sleep over later this week _he thought with a smile_._ Amy had the table set and had folded the blankets on the couch neatly by the time Ricky finished getting dressed. He found her sitting on the couch watching John play and smiled. "How does scrambled eggs, toast and fruit sound?"

"Sounds good. Need any help?"

"Sure." Amy scooped up John and placed him in his high chair while she and Ricky fixed breakfast. She sliced up a grapefruit and some strawberries while Ricky worked on the eggs and toast.

"So what should we do as our first family outing on Saturday?"

"Well, I took John to the aquarium yesterday so why don't we take him to the zoo?" Amy suggested.

"Sounds good." They decided it would be best if they went after John's nap so Amy planned to arrive at Ricky's around 2:30 and they would carpool to the zoo. They sat down at the table to enjoy their breakfast before Ricky asked Amy about his suspicions. "Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel like even though we talked about a lot of things last night, there's still a lot left for us to talk about."

"Such as?"

"I can't put my finger on it but I just have this feeling it's important and somehow it didn't come up last night." Amy pondered his statement as she chewed a bite of her toast.

"I can't think of anything off the top of my head right now. Maybe some other issues will come up after I've finished talking to the other people I need to talk to." Ricky wanted to ask her who else she was gonna talk to but figured she'd let him know if they ended up having another discussion sleepover.

"So do you think we'll need to have another sleepover to talk about it?"

"Maybe," she answered honestly and then smiled. "You know, your mother offered to keep John for a whole weekend if we needed time to talk but I'm sure we can just have another sleepover or two like we had last night if we need to. We covered a lot last night" _She what?_ Ricky hid his surprise well, and the wheels in his head also started turning. _I didn't find out what Amy thinks is romantic so I can properly apologize but maybe I'll take mom up on that offer one of these weekends so I can. But first I really need to talk to some people too; I've got apologies of my own to make._ Amy was thinking of what order she wanted to have her next few conversations in. Sooner than Ricky would've liked, it was time for them to head to work. He walked Amy to her car and kissed John on the forehead before saying goodbye and heading to work.

At the nursery Amy was pleasantly surprised at how much the kids had seemed to grow in the month she'd been away and she enjoyed getting reacquainted with them, even though it was pretty tiring trying to corral a small group of toddlers, her own included. Back at the butcher shop Ricky decided to call his mom on his break.

"Hi, Ricky. How are you?"

"Good, mom. I wanna ask you something."

"Oh?"

"So Amy came over last night and we talked about a lot of things and she mentioned that she'd had dinner with you and dad on Saturday."

"She did." Margaret didn't elaborate, not willing to reveal exactly what Amy had talked to her and Shakur about without Amy's permission.

"She told me the three of you were gonna hang out and talk more and I was wondering when you planned to do that." Margaret and Shakur had talked about it quite a bit the past couple of days and she saw no reason not to tell her son about their plans.

"We were thinking of asking Amy to come over for dinner once a week or at least a couple of times a month so the three of us could spend some time together and I planned on asking Amy to have lunch or go out somewhere with me a couple of Saturdays a month for some girl time. Why do you ask?" Ricky chuckled.

"I guess we all had the same idea."

"What do you mean?"

"Last night Amy and I decided we needed to spend more time together as a family with John and have dinner together once a week and do some sort of family activity on the weekends so we can get to know each other better too." Margaret could hear the smile in Ricky's voice and he could hear her's in her response.

"That sounds like a good idea. Why don't you or Amy give us a call after you've decided what night of the week you two will eat together and then we'll go from there."

"Ok, mom; sounds good. I'll talk to you later."

"OK. Talk to you later, Ricky." After ending the call Ricky took a deep breath before making his next one. He dialed the number and waited.

"Hi, Ricky. Didn't expect to hear from you anytime soon."

"Hi, Adrian. I need to talk to you. Are you free tomorrow tonight?"

"Yeah. What do you wanna talk about?"

"Us. I'll come over about 7:00. See you tomorrow." Adrian didn't get a chance to respond because Ricky ended the call. _Wonder what's going on? Maybe Amy's confronted Ricky like she confronted my dad! I wonder what she told him? _Adrian started to feel nervous, remembering what Amy had revealed to her dad already. If Amy told the same things to Ricky they were bound to get into a fight tomorrow night.

At the end of her shift Amy happily headed home, remembering tonight was her belated birthday dinner. Traffic was still pretty light, rush hour having not quite started yet, so she got home a little early. Amy couldn't help but laugh when she walked in the kitchen door and saw her dad heading into the dining room very slowly, his way blocked by a rather large quantity of birthday balloons. He turned when he saw her standing there.

"No peaking. Go up to your room and wait until we call you down, and put on something nice." George blocked her view of the dining room so Amy couldn't see anything. She continued to laugh as she took John upstairs to play in her room before dinner. She only had to wait ten minutes before Ashley came upstairs to get her. Ashley had dressed up in a dark green dress with a matching dark green sweater that stopped just below her bust line. Amy had chosen the same black dress she wore when she and Anne had gone out to dinner Sunday night and she dressed john up in khaki pants and a light blue button-up shirt. Amy walked into the dining room and smiled. A Happy Birthday banner hung across one wall and balloons were tied to the backs of all the dining room chairs and even John and Robbie's high chairs. The room was lit by candlelight and the table was set with her mom's china and the fancy silverware. Her mom had prepared a salad, chicken parmesan, garlic roasted potatoes, asparagus, and garlic bread and each of their glasses was filled with sparkling grape juice. George was wearing a handsome charcoal grey suit and Anne was wearing a dark blue cocktail dress that stopped just below her knees. Even Robbie was dressed up in a nice pair of khaki pants and a red button-up shirt. Amy placed John in his high chair next to Robbie and everyone took a seat. They ate their meal and chatted about their day like a normal family that actually got along, for once, and Amy enjoyed it immensely. As they were finishing up their meal, George went around the table and refilled everyone's glasses and the boys' sippie cups.

"I propose a toast," he said, raising his glass. Everyone picked up their own glass as well. "To Amy. Even though I was too selfish and preoccupied to remember your birthday, I want you to know that I love you, sweetheart. Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful you're a part of my family and that you put up with me," he finished with a smile.

"Hear, Hear," Anne added with a smile. Ashley simply nodded in agreement and they all took a sip of their juice. Anne stood up to make a toast next.

"I want to say that I'm also sorry for being too wrapped up in my own life to remember to tell my baby girl Happy Birthday. Even though as your mother I wish motherhood was still a few years away for you, Amy, I want you to know that I'm proud of the mother you have become and thank you for blessing me with a grandchild." Everyone raised their glassed again and took another sip, although this time Amy was a little teary-eyed at her mother's words.

"My turn," Ashley said with a grin as she stood up to give her own toast. "I know I'm not the most emotional or mushy person so I can come across as aloof and uninterested. But I'm glad you're my sister and I'm proud of everything you've gone through and accomplished in the past two years. Happy belated birthday, Amy."

"Hear, Hear," her parents added in unison before taking another sip from their glasses. Amy decided to make a little toast of her own and stood up.

Raising her glass she said, "I wanna propose a toast to all of you for not disowning me when I got pregnant and for being there to help and support me when I needed it, even if I said I didn't want it. I also wanna propose a toast to our family. We've been through some ups and downs and quite a few major life changes but we're still doing our best to work it out and be a stronger family. And I think that's something worth toasting," she finished with a smile.

"Hear, Hear," Ashley and her parents said and took one more drink from their glasses. As Amy sat down, Anne stood up.

"Now, it's not a birthday celebration without a cake." She went into the kitchen and took the cake she had prepared out of the fridge. She placed a number seventeen candle on it and lit it before carrying it back into the dining room. As she did so, George and Ashley joined her in singing Happy Birthday. Amy made a wish and blew out the candle. George cut the cake and they again chatted easily about their day and life in general as they enjoyed their cake.

"Almost time for presents," George announced. "Amy, you wait here while we clear the table." He, Anne and Ashley quickly cleared the dinner and dessert dishes and Anne proceeded to wipe the boy's faces and hands while George and Ashley carried in gifts. Amy just smiled. She hadn't expected any gifts because she was simply grateful that her parents had let her go to New York. Anne scooted the boys chairs closer to Amy, deciding it would be best not to let either toddler anywhere near wrapping paper. George picked up a camera that had been sitting on the china cabinet to take pictures of Amy opening her gifts. Her parents got her a kindle, iTunes gift cards, and a new digital camera. Ashley had gotten her two CDs: one of Amy's favorite jazz band and the other a compilation of smooth jazz musicians. Robbie, via her parents, had gotten her a photo frame that had the words 'I Love My Big Sister' etched around the outside and contained a photo of Amy hugging Robbie while both of them smiled at the camera. Amy gave each of her family members a hug and a kiss as she thanked them. Ashley carried her gifts upstairs while Amy carried John. Amy gave her sister a hug goodnight and thanked her again for her toast and presents. After John was put to bed Amy went downstairs and found her parents cleaning up the dinner dishes. She offered to help but her parents wouldn't let her. She hugged and kissed them goodnight and then got ready for bed herself. She'd just come back to her room after brushing her teeth when her phone buzzed. It was Ricky.

"Hi."

"Hey. So how was your first day back at the nursery?" Amy smiled remembering how wonderfully tiring it was.

"Good. It was nice to be back, although I swear those kids all seemed twice as big as when I left for New York," she said with a chuckle, causing Ricky to smile as well.

"I wanted to let you know I called my mom today and told her we talked last night."

"Okay…."

"She mentioned that she and my dad want to start having you over for dinner once or twice a month and I told her we were gonna have dinner once a week." Amy chuckled. _Great minds think alike?_ "Anyway," Ricky continued. "She said after you and I picked a day of the week to have dinner together to let her know and she and dad will figure out what other day of the week to have dinner with you. So….what day do you wanna come over for dinner?"

"I don't know. What day works best for you?" Ricky rolled his eyes.

"Amy, it's the summer. It's not like either of us have to worry about homework and our work days in the summer end at the same time as during the school year. Just pick one."

"Hmmmmmm…how about Wednesday. That way dinner will be something to break up the rest of the week."

"Okay, Wednesdays it is," he replied with a smile in his voice. He suddenly remembered the rest of his conversation with his mom. "Oh, and by the way, my mom also wants to spend some girl time with you so she might be asking you to hang out sometime during the weekends for lunch or something."

"Oh, well that sounds nice."

"I mentioned that we were thinking of doing family activities on the weekends too so we may need to coordinate our Saturday outings with her."

"That shouldn't be a problem but we'll play it by ear."

"Sounds good."

"Okay."

"One more thing, Amy. After our talk last night I realized I need to have some conversations of my own with people and make a few apologies.

"Good for you, Ricky."

"Thanks. I just wanted to let you know I plan to talk to Adrian tomorrow night so depending on how long we talk I might stop by."

"Okay. Just text me if you're gonna come over."

"Will do. Well, good night, Amy."

"Goodnight, Ricky." They ended the call and finished getting ready for bed. While Amy fell asleep peacefully, it took a little longer for Ricky to finally drift off to sleep because he couldn't stop wondering just how emotionally painful his conversation with Adrian tomorrow was gonna be.


	23. Skeletons In The Closet

Ricky got ready for work the next morning on autopilot, his mind on his upcoming conversation with Adrian that night. After his talk with Amy he knew he needed to sincerely apologize to Adrian for his behavior and actions towards her but he was also angry at her for the way she had treated someone he cared about so much. He went through his work day quietly, not saying much unless he was spoken to but not appearing so standoffish to customers that Bunny would get on his case. He had never been so relieved to be done working the day when his shift finally ended. He showered and changed before fixing himself something for dinner. He kept checking his phone to see what time it was, silently willing 7:00 to get closer. He finished his meal and headed over to Adrian's. He stayed in his car and took several deep breaths before he got out and walked up to her front door; this was gonna be one uncomfortable conversation. Ricky knew Adrian lashed out when she felt attacked and she was going to say some pretty hurtful things to him because she also had a tendency to be cruel when she felt hurt or upset. Regardless, Ricky needed to have this conversation with her and get some things off his chest. He knocked on the front door and Ruben answered it.

"Hello, Ricky. Adrian said you'd be stopping by." He moved aside so Ricky could enter. "She's up in her room."

"Okay. Ruben?"

"Yes?"

"Just so you know ahead of time, our discussion is probably gonna get heated and there may be some yelling." Ruben arched an eyebrow in question but only acknowledged Ricky's words with a nod of his head. Ricky climbed the stairs apprehensively but full of determination and knocked on her bedroom door when he reached it.

"Come in." Ricky did so and closed the door behind him. Adrian was sitting on her bed cross-legged and looked up from her phone. Ricky sat down on her bed but made sure to keep some distance between them. "So…" she said.

"I need to talk to you about what happened to us, Adrian, beyond the BS facades we both put up." She arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything. "And we need to start with your jealousy of Amy."

"I knew this was about Amy."

"Most of our problems have always been about Amy. Care to explain from your point of view why that was?" he asked her seriously, determined not to reveal anything to her before he was ready to. Adrian sighed.

"Because I knew you wanted her more than me." Ricky arched an eyebrow.

"And did you believe that before or after you found out she was having my baby?"

"It was obvious, Ricky. Why else would you change your mind and decide you wanted to be a daddy if not to get closer to Amy," Adrian replied, rolling her eyes.

"That decision had nothing to do with Amy; it was about me. And you didn't answer my question. Did you think I wanted Amy more than you before or after you found out she was having my baby?"

"A little of both I guess."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I knew you were interested in her 'cuz you'd already slept with her and I knew you'd probably go after her just because she wasn't interested in you. When I found out she was having your baby I knew that was gonna be a problem for me." She crossed her arms as an irritated look came over her face.

"We weren't together at that point Adrian; we were just fooling around." Ricky rolled his eyes, remembering their conversation after Amy decided not to get an abortion. "And why did you suddenly jump to the conclusion that I was gonna marry her anyway?"

"That's what most guys do when they get a girl knocked up."

"I wasn't most guys back then and I certainly wasn't gonna marry some girl I barely knew and that I wasn't in love with."

"What about now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you planning on marrying her now, or in the future?"

"I don't know, Adrian. Whether I do or I don't is none of your business because we're not together anymore but we're getting off track; I'm here tonight to talk about why our relationship was so screwed up."

"It wasn't all bad!"

"True, but if Amy was such an issue for you, why not break things off with me as soon as you knew we were keeping our kid instead of trying to find ways to hurt her?" As he'd expected, Adrian suddenly went on the defensive.

"And why didn't you break up with me if Amy's the one you really wanted!?" she asked, her voice rising slightly.

"Because I was selfish and clueless at the time, Adrian! I didn't think I could be a good dad until I faced Bob again. Before that I was more interested in having sex than taking care of Amy, which her boyfriend was doing anyway. Plus, I didn't know how far you were willing to go to try and keep me away from her." Adrian swallowed, nervousness creeping into her face. _So __**does**__ he know the types of things I said to her?_ Adrian decided to try to deflect his attention with another question of her own.

"Why do you suddenly care now about how upset I made Amy back then?"

"Because I just found out about it!" Adrian gave a disbelieving huff.

"You knew about it back then, Ricky, but you obviously didn't care **too** much because we were still sleeping together!"

"No, Adrian, I didn't know!" Some of his earlier anger came surging back as he remembered what Adrian had implied to Amy. "If I'd known you were scheming to replace Amy as John's mother I would've broken up with you long before I did! Had I known you were stressing Amy out on purpose we would've ended months before you moved in next door to her!" Adrian was taken aback at Ricky's forceful tone but she was curious about something.

"What makes you so sure **now** that if you'd known about that back then you would've dumped me?"

"Remember when I asked you not to make problems for me the day after Amy caught you holding John?"

"Yeah?"

"Amy and John are the two most important people in my life; they have been since I decided to be a father to my son. What you said and did to Amy back then ended up almost coming between me and John. If I'd known earlier that being in a relationship with you was the one thing that could keep me from my son I would've broken things off with you sooner!" Adrian was both hurt and angry at Ricky's admission.

"So you think **I** was the only problem in your relationship with Amy!? You had something to do with that too you know! You were so busy sleeping around during her pregnancy it's no **wonder** she let Ben step up and take your place as the father of her baby!" Adrian hit a nerve. Ricky knew he should've been there for Amy from the beginning and it was something he was gonna have to live with for the rest of his life.

"I know I didn't do right by her, and Ben was never gonna take my place! Amy and I've already talked about our past issues and I take full responsibility for what I did and didn't do back then! What I wanna know is why you were so determined to be in a relationship with me if you thought I was more interested in Amy than you!"

"We're a lot alike, Ricky. We both had unhappy childhoods, we have similar temperaments and personalities, and we both like having sex. I liked having sex with you and I really liked you. I fell in love with you and that only made me more jealous of Amy because I knew after she had John that they would always come before me, unless I could keep you preoccupied!" Ricky groaned with frustration.

"Adrian, I knew you were using sex to try and keep me away from Amy and I let you because I liked having sex with you too. Yeah, I shouldn't have and yeah I should've manned up and put a stop to the game we were playing. I didn't because I was more interested in having sex than a relationship. You knew it was a game too so why'd you keep playing it? You ended it once and walked away from me. Why'd you take me back and start playing that game again?" Adrian could see the irritation in his eyes and it was matched in her own. Almost as quickly as it appeared it vanished, only to be replaced by shame and regret as she remembered her mother's words about their past behavior. Adrian started to tear up, catching Ricky off-guard, but he didn't make a move to hug or reassure her.

"I was jealous of Amy and Grace." Ricky hadn't expected that to be her answer and his confused face told her so. Adrian looked away from him before continuing. "Amy had your baby so she had your attention, even though she wasn't willing to put out for you again anytime soon. Grace was waiting for marriage to have sex and guys, including you, were attracted to her for that. I wanted to be with a guy who'd give me his undivided attention and wouldn't see or treat me as an occasional hookup. I wanted to feel better about myself and Grace offered to help me change my ways. I couldn't have you so I decided to move on and try something new."

"So why'd you take me back?" Adrian thought back, remembering how she'd broken up with Ricky for Max and things had been going pretty well, until Ruben got in the middle of it and she started to miss Ricky. She then remembered the moment Ricky asked her to be his girlfriend officially.

"When you told me you cared about me and didn't want me to see other guys I thought that you'd finally given up on Amy and had chosen me instead. But it turned out she was still more important than me because she had your baby."

"So you're saying you never got over your jealousy of her?"

"You didn't make it easy for me to get over it you know," she told him with irritation as she turned her head back to face him. Ricky sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know."

"Do you!?"

"Yes, Adrian, I do! By continuing to sleep with you I let you keep things tense between me and Amy. I knew she didn't get along with you because you picked at her and I knew you did that because you were jealous of her and wanted to keep me away from her. When things between you two escalated to her refusing to let John come over to my apartment and then you sleeping with Ben, I'd had enough. It shouldn't have ever gotten that far, Adrian, but we both let it happen."

"You more than me," Adrian said, in an effort to place more blame on Ricky than herself. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"The problem wasn't just you messing with Amy. We used sex to hurt each other." Ricky could tell from Adrian's expression that she knew he was right but didn't want to admit it. "Adrian, I cheated on you simply because sometimes I wanted to have sex and you didn't so I went out and found someone who did, simple as that. I also knew sometimes you'd refuse to sleep with me because I wouldn't do something you wanted me to or I'd made you angry so those times I cheated on you just to prove that refusing to sleep with me wouldn't control me." He sighed, disgusted with himself. "And then there were times I cheated just to get you back for cheating on me. Yes, it was selfish and petty and stupid, but back then that's how I felt so that's how I acted." Adrian had no response, Ricky's explanation explaining her past behavior as well. She sighed and looked down at her bedspread, suddenly not willing to face him.

"Hurting people who've hurt me is kinda what I do, huh?" Ricky nodded.

"Adrian, we claimed we loved each other but purposely hurt each other. If we're both honest here then we never loved each other, we just really liked each other." His words hurt so Adrian lashed out.

"I DID LOVE YOU, I STILL DO!" she exclaimed, looking him right in the eye. Ricky shook his head, making Adrian angry. "We would've been fine, eventually, if you had just decided to be faithful to me and stop trying to go after Amy!" She let out a frustrated growl when Ricky remained silent. "Everything would've been fine if you hadn't gotten Amy pregnant! Why couldn't you have just used a condom!?" Now Ricky was irritated.

"Oh, like that solves everything, Adrian!? Condoms break, as you're well aware, so don't try and blame this on the lack of one to avoid the issue!" he shot back, his voice slightly rising out of irritation.

"If you hadn't changed your mind and decided to play daddy we could've figured it all out!" Adrian shot back, her voice rising slightly as well.

"HEY! I'm not **playing** daddy; I'm a good father to my son and I always will be! We didn't work out because neither of us knew how to love ourselves let alone somebody else!"

"I TOLD YOU! I LOVE YOU! I could just see that you were attracted to some other girl and what did you expect me to do!? Just stand by and let some other woman steal you away from me!?"

"Adrian, do you hear yourself!?"

"What!?"

"Adrian, if you loved me like you claimed, then you would've loved anyone who's important to me and a part of my family! I TOLD YOU, John AND Amy are part of my family which means they're BOTH important to me and yet you STILL went out of your way to try to hurt her! I love my son and being a father and you KNEW that! So why'd you make it your mission practically to mess with Amy and make her consider taking him away from me!? Why couldn't you LEAVE HER ALONE!?"

"BECAUSE I KNEW YOU STILL WANTED HER!" Her words rendered Ricky speechless. _How could she possibly have thought that when I didn't even consider it until a few weeks ago?_ At his stunned expression Adrian rolled her eyes. "Oh please, Ricky. A blind person could've figured it out from the way you talked to and about her and a deaf person could've figure it out from the way you catered to her and made your **whole** world revolve around Amy and John. Hell, you even tried to break up her and Ben by crashing at her house while he was in Bologna." She crossed her arms with irritation.

"First of all, Adrian, I love Amy, in a nonromantic way, because she gave me a son and let me be a father to him. Because of that I will **always** care about her and do what I can to be there for her. I thought I loved you romantically but we kept hurting each other and that's not love Adrian. So how can you **possibly** sit there and tell me you love me when our relationship was so toxic?" She opened her mouth to respond but Ricky continued before she could. "Secondly, I crashed at her house because I was helping her take care of our son who wasn't sleeping through the night yet. It had nothing to do with Ben. And while we're talking about that summer, why'd you tell Ben about it in the first place?" Adrian shrugged.

"What makes you think I'm the one who told Ben about that?" Ricky raised an eyebrow and gave her an 'I know it was you so don't bother trying to lie about it' look and she shrugged. "I just figured he had a right to know what you two were up to. He and I were friends and I did live next door to his girlfriend." Ricky gave her a patronizing smile.

"Oh please, Adrian. You didn't tell Ben out of the goodness of your heart. If you **were** spying on us then you would've known that we were only taking care of John and I slept on the living room couch. I told you what went on at Amy's house shouldn't affect what went on between us at your house, but you couldn't let it go!" Adrian let out a frustrated huff.

"Ricky, I knew you cheated on me if I held out on you for too long and I knew if you got too close to Amy she'd consider taking you back and you'd go running back to her willingly. You gave me no choice but to spy on you!" Ricky glared at her.

"You **were** aware that she hated me back then, right? Were you seriously that concerned that Amy might willingly sleep with me again?"

"She'd change her mind eventually, Ricky. You have a way of getting what you want from a girl."

"Are you saying the whole time we were together you were worried about Amy taking me back?" Adrian sighed and nodded.

"I knew you weren't over Amy. That day you showed up at my apartment upset because Amy hated you proved it." Ricky gave her a confused look. "If Amy's opinion bothered you enough to make you cry than you cared about her more than you'd let on. If she could make you **that** crazy than she was competition. And when it came down to it, you always sided with Amy anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"When we broke up the first time you were busy checking your phone for a message from Amy instead of listening to me. You said I had to apologize to Amy for holding John or we'd have to break up instead of sticking up for me. She called me a slut, more than once I might add, and you got mad at me for getting her suspended! And then when she had boyfriend troubles with that guy…Johnny? James? no, Jimmy, you went running over to her house to make her feel better!" Ricky narrowed his eyes at her irritated face.

"Adrian, I remember that day I kept checking my phone and I told you that message would tell me what to buy at the store for John. I told you you needed to apologize for holding John because I didn't wanna get the court involved in order to see my son and then end up having to pay a court ordered amount of child support. As for Amy calling you a slut, we all know name calling's wrong and hurtful and we also know that the most hurtful names to call someone are the ones that are true." Adrian gasped.

"Did you just call me a slut!?"

"No."

"Yes you did! You just said Amy called me a name that was true! So you think I'm a slut too! Have you always thought that!?"

"NO, Adrian. I think you slept around looking for someone to love and care about you the way you wanted to be loved and cared for and then pretended to be a girl who wasn't afraid to broadcast her sex life and show the world she couldn't be fazed by people's negative opinions of her. Honestly, Adrian, with the way you carried yourself and treated people back then are you really that surprised at what name Amy chose to call you?" Adrian couldn't bring herself to respond so she simply glared at Ricky before looking away from him to stare at her bedroom wall. Ricky groaned in frustration.

"We're talking in circles here, Adrian. All we've admitted so far is that I behaved selfishly and you acted like a jealous brat. You still haven't explained **why** you felt the need to hurt Amy instead of just trying to keep me too occupied to spend a lot of time with her." Adrian was quiet for several moments, searching for an answer.

"I wanted what Amy had," she said quietly. Surprise was written all over Ricky's face at her admission but she didn't see it. "She had a guy who loved her despite the fact she was having another guy's baby plus the attention of the guy who'd gotten her pregnant, who also just happened to be the guy that I wanted to want me. Not to mention she had parents and friends who stood by her despite the tarnished reputation she got by getting pregnant." She began to tear up. "I told you how much it hurt being teased in grade school 'cuz I was the kid with the hand me down clothes and a mom who wasn't around a lot. And I know kids at school call me a slut behind my back for sleeping around. I like having sex and I'm not afraid to admit it but that's all people see when they look at me. I don't have any real friends, accept maybe Grace, and no one wants to get to know me so I still do what I decided to do in grade school: pretend their words don't bother me and hurt them before anyone can hurt me again."

"Regardless of who gets hurt in the process." Ricky said it as a statement and not a question. Adrian smiled a humorless smile.

"Including myself," she said, looking down at her stomach and placing a hand over her belly. Adrian sighed and shifted her position so she was leaning back against her headboard with her legs stretched out in front of her. "Do you think we would've had a chance at a normal relationship if Amy hadn't gotten pregnant?" Ricky shook his head and Adrian's heart sank momentarily before anger started to surface. "Why not?" she asked, anger creeping into her voice.

"Because eventually I would've done everything in my power to break up her and Ben."

"Wait, why?"

"Because I've never stopped being attracted to her and my wanting to be around Amy would've caused you to do the exact same things you did to her out of jealousy."

"So I was just a stand in for Amy this whole time!?" Irritation and anger were beginning to build to a boiling point inside her.

"No, Adrian. You were a distraction that I eventually came to care about," he told her honestly.

"A distraction! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN A DISTRACTION! WHAT, I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU OR SOMETHING!?" Ricky sighed and just stared at her for a few moments, waiting for her temper to calm down a little. She glared at him, waiting for an answer.

"Adrian, I've told girls I love 'em before because I know they like to hear it and it makes them more willing to sleep with me. When I met and hung out with Amy for the first time, I thought I had romantic feelings for someone for the first time in my life and it scared me senseless. The only thought in my mind was to run as fast as I could away from her until I outran those feelings. In the process of running from her I met you and you distracted me from Amy. Then school started and there she was, and I was just as attracted to her then as I was at band camp. It wasn't that you weren't good enough for me, it's just that I already knew Amy and I was already very attracted to her."

"So why didn't you go after her when school started!? It wasn't like we were officially together or even sleeping together yet. Or was Grace just a better distraction than I was?" Adrian asked with a pout as she crossed her arms again.

"I was only interested in Grace because I knew trying to get her to sleep with me was a challenge. You already knew that; it's why you had no problem sleeping with me even though you knew I was seeing Grace. As for Amy, I thought she didn't want anything to do with me because I basically ditched her after our night together at band camp but it turns out she was mad at me 'cuz I'd also gotten her pregnant. Then some other guy was willing to stand by her side when I wasn't; not exactly ideal conditions to ask a girl out."

"So she's always been the one you want." Adrian chuckled sadly. "You know you've never asked me out on a date officially? All we ever did was hang out at my apartment and sleep together." She looked away to hide the hurt in her eyes. "Were you ever really interested in me?" Ricky sighed inwardly.

"Adrian, you're beautiful, smart, confident, sassy, and you go after what you want. Yes, I was actually interested in you." Adrian smiled at his compliment but her smile didn't last long.

"Why were you so interested in Amy then, aside from John?" Ricky sighed. _Of course Adrian wants me to spell it all out._ As images of Amy came to his mind he smiled.

"Amy's beautiful, sweet, kind hearted, her eyes can't lie, she doesn't hide her emotions, she's become confident and sure of herself, she's trusting, and her smile is contagious." Adrian frowned as she watched Ricky describe Amy. She could see it all over his face and in his eyes that Amy would always have a special place in his heart. _I never had a chance_.

"So why were we even together if you were just waiting around for Amy to take you back?"

"Because when I decided to ask you to be my girlfriend I honestly believed she'd never give me another chance."

"What changed your mind?" Ricky chuckled, causing Adrian to raise an eyebrow in question.

"Ironically enough, we got to know each other better as we spent time together taking care of our son and having conversations about him. She stopped hating me and accepted me as part of her family. When things between us got better, I decided to simply wait for a chance to get closer to her." Seeing the anger and hurt in Adrian's eyes made Ricky sigh and hang his head in shame. "I know I shouldn't have strung you along just to keep having sex with you, Adrian, and I'm sorry for doing it. I know my apology doesn't change anything; I just want you to hear me say the words and know that I mean them. I'm sorry for the way I treated you Adrian." Adrian sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"I guess she really did change you."

"Huh?"

"You told me you wanted Amy to change you, remember? If you're taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing then I guess she really has changed you into a better person." Ricky shook his head and stared down at Adrian's bedspread.

"I don't know if she's changed me or I've just changed because I spent some time walking in her shoes. All I know is I've hurt a lot of people because I didn't wanna deal with my issues and sometimes because I didn't know **how** to deal with them. But I have a son and I wanna be the kind of man he can be proud of and look up to. That's why I ended our relationship for good Adrian, for my son."

"So you're saying there's no chance of us getting back together, even though the girl you're attracted to loves somebody else?"

"Adrian we've both got a lot of emotional baggage that makes it difficult for us to trust people and let them love us, but we want someone to love us anyway. We've tried to find love by finding someone who makes us feel good, but for us feeling good usually means…"

"Sex," Adrian said, finishing his sentence and nodding her head in realization and understanding.

"But we both deserve to be with someone who loves us for who we are, who we can trust, and who won't try to hurt us. We won't find that dating each other so yes, we're over for good."

"Even though I still love you and wanna be with you?"

"It's like I told you the last time we talked, Adrian. We don't belong together and I'd like to be friends if that's possible but I know that's gonna take time."

"I think we could be good together again, now that we've both realized we've got some destructive behaviors we need to break," Adrian said, a little more desperately than she would've liked, as she reached for one of his hands. He pulled it away before she could grab it. "We could be good together again, even though I'm having Ben's baby. I mean, he and Amy are willing to make their relationship work and she had your baby. Why can't we do the same?" Ricky shook his head.

"Because I've got my priorities straight now, Adrian. My son comes first and right now that means building a better relationship with my son's mother. Amy and I are gonna be in each other's lives for the rest of our lives and I'm done doing things that cause friction between us. Plus I know trying to be in a relationship with you would only remind Amy of how much you and Ben hurt her." Adrian rolled her eyes at his last statement.

"She already forgave Ben for sleeping with me; that's why they're still together."

"Adrian, you slept with Ben to try to hurt me and Amy for sleeping together again. What made you so sure we **had** slept together again anyway?" Adrian was suddenly overcome by guilt but Ricky started to feel irritated when she didn't answer right away.

"You'd gone over to her house to talk well after John was asleep and you wouldn't tell me what you two were going to talk about. You had no reason to be at her house so the only logical reason you'd be going over there was because you were sleeping with her." Ricky rolled his eyes.

"Are you telling me you slept with Ben because your jealousy of Amy allowed your imagination to get the best of you?"

"Huh?"

"You just admitted you assumed I was sleeping with Amy because I was at her house after our son was asleep. You realize her parents and siblings were home too right? How exactly was I gonna sleep with her, at her house, with her family around?" Adrian suddenly felt very stupid, and then angry that Ricky had just made her feel stupid, so she simply looked away from him and he rolled his eyes again. "Neither one of us had the sense to walk away from our doomed relationship when we should've." Adrian's head swiveled back to face him.

"It wasn't doomed, Ricky! All we needed was more time, and fewer distractions!" she gave him a pointed look.

"Maybe, maybe not. What I do know is that now it's time for us to move on. You're gonna have your baby and raise him or her with Ben and Amy and I'll figure out how to get along better and continue raising our son together." Ricky checked his watch and saw that it was only a quarter to nine. _Amy might still be up._ "I'm gonna go, unless there's anything else you wanna say."

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Ricky." Ricky could see the sincerity in Adrian's eyes.

"And I'm sorry I hurt you. Goodbye, Adrian, and good luck with your kid." Arian couldn't bring herself to say goodbye so she just watched him get up and walk out of her bedroom, and possibly her life. _Guess I know how Amy felt now. And it sucks when the guy you thought cared about you walks away from you._ She laid down and stared at her ceiling, lost in thought. Ricky sent Amy a text saying he was dropping by as he walked down the stairs and headed out of Adrian's house. Amy was in the kitchen when he knocked and she motioned for him to come in.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So how are you feeling after that conversation?"

"Honestly?" Amy nodded. "Not a whole lot better than I was before having it. I still feel horrible for using and mistreating Adrian." Amy gave him a sympathetic smile and handed him a soda from the fridge.

"Realizing you've deeply hurt someone you cared about, even a little bit, isn't the most pleasant feeling."

"Yeah. But we've talked about it and made our apologies so I guess all Adrian and I can do now is move on." They sat at the kitchen table and sipped their sodas while chatting about their workday and Amy recounted John's latest antics. Their sodas finished, Amy walked Ricky to the kitchen door and they bid each other good night. As Amy and Ashley were climbing into their respective beds, Anne and George were getting ready for a heart-to-heart conversation of their own. They were both quiet as they finished brushing their teeth and climbed into their bed. George was the first to break the silence.

"So do you wanna start with what Amy talked to me about?"

"Okay," Anne replied, not sure she was fully prepared for what issues had been brought up. George sighed.

"Well, Amy wanted to know if I'd ever loved you or was only in love with you, why I'd married you if I didn't love you, and if I ever really loved her and Ash." Anne was speechless; her wide eyes told George as much and he chuckled. Anne gave him a 'have you lost it' look and he explained. "Amy's not our sweet, innocent little girl anymore, Anne. She's been burned by love, she's embraced motherhood, and she's learned some hard life lessons along the way. She's figured out that you can love somebody without being romantically in love with them and when you love someone you don't purposefully hurt them." It was Anne's turn to chuckle.

"She **has** become quite astute." Her smile faded as she thought about George's earlier words. "What made her wonder if you were in love with me or just loved me?"

"The affair. Amy concluded that if I'd ever actually loved you I wouldn't have done something like that and hurt you." Anne sighed.

"Why did you have an affair, George?"

"I wanted to spend time with someone who liked me and you didn't." Anne looked at him quizzically.

"You thought I didn't like you because we were bickering all the time, right?"

"Well, yeah." Anne shook her head.

"George, we were bickering because you refused to talk to me about anything important. When I asked you how the furniture store was you'd just say 'Fine' or 'same ol' same ol'' When I'd ask you anything about our finances or bills you'd blow me off and say you were taking care of it. It was like we were buddies or I was just your girlfriend and not allowed to know anything important about your life. We weren't communicating like a couple, George, and that's why I was irritated with you so much."

"Anne, I'm not good at these kinds of emotional conversations and I don't feel the need to discuss my feelings. When you nag me about them I'd rather be anywhere but within nagging distance." Anne gave him an irritated look. "Hey, I'm just being honest here." Anne took a deep breath to calm her rising irritation.

"I think that was one of the main problems, George. I wanted to talk to you about you and you didn't want to. You couldn't have made an effort? Even just a little one?" It was George's turn to take a deep breath.

"Probably. It was just that as far as I was concerned about bills and the store and whatnot, as long as I was providing for you and the girls you didn't need to worry about it."

"George, I wasn't **worried** about it I just wanted to be a **part** of it. I wanted to feel like you were including your wife in your life." George looked at her like she'd suddenly started speaking a foreign language and Anne sighed.

"George, do you know why I agreed to elope?"

"Yeah, you wanted to marry me and we had a baby on the way."

"That was only part of it."

"Well what was the other part?" Anne smiled, earning another confused look from George.

"The same reason Amy got married illegally without telling us." George didn't get a chance to ask for an explanation because Anne continued. "I was scared, George. I was scared of trying to raise a baby on my own. I wanted someone who cared about me to take care of me while I took care of my baby. I was so scared I let you rescue me by marrying me George." George was speechless, trying to process this revelation. Anne smiled at his expression and squeezed his hand. "Thankfully my knight in shining armor was the man I was in love with and the father of my baby." Suddenly the puzzle pieces came together in George's mind and he understood why Amy had tried to get married illegally. He was snapped back to reality by Anne's sigh. "The only catch is there's a price to being rescued."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I was so grateful that you didn't abandon me to raise my baby alone that I spent a lot of time and energy finding ways to show you my gratitude. And I can see the gears in your head turning, George, and no, I'm not talking about sex. I mean doing everything I could to be the best wife and homemaker to you I could be and the best mother to our child. I spent a lot of years worrying about whether or not I was a good enough wife, homemaker and mother to be worthy of you being my husband."

"Anne!" George said with exasperation. "You're an amazing mother and a great homemaker. Sure things have been tense and crazy around here the past couple of years but before that we were happy, truly happy, all together in our home. Not our house, Anne, our home. I'm sorry if I just took you for granted and forgot to let you know I appreciated everything you did for us around here. You know better than anybody I'm not that good at communicating, well, except at the store. I'm a great salesman," he added proudly, causing Anne to smile and shake her head at him.

"Yes, George, you're a great salesman." She took a deep breath before speaking again. "George, do you know that Amy considered abortion?"

"What!?" Anne nodded.

"The day she called you and I told you she was pregnant she snuck out of the house to get an abortion at the free clinic." Anne could see anger flashing in George's eyes so she quickly continued. "She called me from the clinic and asked me to come get her because she couldn't go through with it. After we got home we sat down and talked and she asked me if I'd let her and Ben get married if she kept the baby. That was when I told her that we'd eloped because I was pregnant with her and how I'd felt all these years about being rescued." Anne saw the anger leaving George's eyes.

"So that's why she wanted to know if I'd ever loved you. Ames wanted to know if I'd only married you because of her." He leaned his head back against the headboard.

"Well did you?"

"No! I married you because I loved you and I wanted to take care of you and our baby!" Realization suddenly dawned on George and he closed his eyes "Oh man!"

"What?"

"Amy thought I'd just done the honorable thing by marrying you and that I didn't really want her. **That's** why she asked me if I ever loved her." He groaned "Ash was in the living room with us as Amy and I talked and I explained to the girls that I didn't just wake up one morning and decided to hurt all three of my girls. It started out as just talking to someone who enjoyed my company and liked me. It was months later before Cindy and I actually slept together."

"How **did** that come about, George?" George had been replaying the events that led up to the affair ever since he finished talking to Amy last week.

"It started out when Cindy came into the store to look around. As we talked it came up that she was also shopping for a car for her teenage daughter. I offered to help her get a good deal since, being a salesman, I knew how car dealers might try to rip her off. I liked Cindy and we started hanging out after work when she was in town." George let out a sigh. "The more I got to know her the more I was attracted to her and after a couple of months one night we slept together." He turned his head to look at Anne, unsettled when he didn't see anger on her face.

"You're wondering why I'm not angry right now right?" George nodded. "We've already had that conversation, George. I knew you were cheating on me I just didn't want to admit it and part of me was glad because I was too irritated with you to sleep with you, and I knew you didn't expect me to because you were having an affair. It still hurt to have my suspicions confirmed but honestly with the way we weren't communicating it was only a matter of time."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, Anne. And I certainly wasn't trying to hurt the girls."

"I know, George. And I'm sure they know that too. Just like I told Amy I wasn't trying to hurt her by sleeping with David."

"Come again?"

"While we were talking Sunday Amy told me that I'd thrown our family for a loop by sleeping with David."

"How so?" Anne gave George a serious look.

"She told me that rumors about your fake vasectomy started spreading around the high school and Adrian called me a slut for not knowing whether you or my new boyfriend was the father of my baby. She and Amy got into it and Amy ended up suspended for the day."

"She what!?"

"Let me finish, George. Sleeping with David before I was legally divorced put Amy in a position to have to defend my honor. And just how did news of your fake vasectomy get around the high school anyway?" George swallowed, knowing Anne wasn't going to like the answer.

"Well…..I saw Grace walking down the sidewalk during the school day and saw that she looked upset. I stopped the car and got out to talk to her, hoping she'd feel better if she just had someone to vent to. She was mad that kids at school were talking about how she'd slept with Jack against her father's wishes and now he was dead. I told her that if she thought she had problems mine trumped hers because I'd lied to my wife about getting a vasectomy and now she's pregnant but thinks it's her boyfriend's."

"George! Why would you tell that to some teenager on the street! Wasn't our family being talked about enough because Amy had gotten pregnant!? And why would you tell someone that before admitting it to me and your daughters first!?"

"Well, technically Ash already knew 'cuz I told her."

"Why would you tell our daughter that before telling me!?"

"I was nervous and the guilt was getting to me!" Anne let out a frustrated breath and closed her eyes for a moment. George nervously waited for her to say something.

"George, you realize that little bit of drama for our family could've been avoided if you'd just talked to me first? I did the math and realized you were Robbie's father and David telling me he couldn't have children only reassured me my math was right."

"I know, I know," he said dejectedly, still feeling guilty about his actions.

"Okay. So we've covered why Amy thought our marriage was a sham and why we had communication issues. That just leaves Adrian and her parents."

"What about them?" George said, irritation lacing his voice as he recalled that Adrian had been harassing his little girl.

"Did you know Amy worried about how I would feel having Cindy as a next door neighbor?"

"Huh?" Anne chuckled.

"Our sweet little Amy was worried that I would feel bad having Cindy living next door because she would constantly remind me that my marriage had ended in divorce." Anne was smiling but George looked down at the bedspread, his face full of guilt. Anne reached over and squeezed his hand.

"I explained to Amy that I knew there were problems in our marriage and both of us played a part in it ending. I also explained that the affair had ended and all of us had moved on. We're trying to reconcile and one day restore our marriage and Cindy is working on reconciling with her own daughter's father so having them as next door neighbors honestly doesn't bother me." George looked at Anne with amazement and then smiled.

"You know Amy gets her kindheartedness from you right?" Anne just smiled back.

"George, even though Cindy and Ruben don't bother me, Adrian does." George nodded. "Amy told me that you don't want Adrian to set foot on the property and I agree wholeheartedly. Our home is going to be an Adrian-free zone until she changes her ways." Anne sighed and leaned her head against the headboard. "I can't believe I was so busy and preoccupied with my life and our relationship to notice that Amy was hurting."

"I was clueless too, Anne. But we can change all that."

"I agree. And I think a good place to start is with family dinners." George gave her a skeptical look and she laughed. "I know our family dinners haven't always turned out so well and we've kinda given up on them since the girls are teenagers with their own lives, but we need to do this, George. After you and Ash went to get her birth control behind my back I said that we were going to talk and talk and keep talking as a family so we wouldn't fall apart completely and I meant it. I just need you to back me up on it."

"I can do that, Anne. I **will** do that. We can be a good team again, eventually." Anne giggled.

"You know it's been a while since we've acted like a team, like partners. I think it's high time we both remembered that our first job is to be parents to our kids. Somehow we managed to lose sight of that."

"Tell me about it. During my talk with the girls Ashley scolded me and I realized that there's definitely a problem when your kids are the mature one in the relationship."

"I know. During my conversation with Amy I realized that my little girl's grown up and matured a lot but she still needs and wants her mommy and daddy in her life. Even though Ashley doesn't say or show it, she needs and wants us too, George." He chuckled.

"Sometimes I think Ash may actually need us more. She's real antisocial that one." Anne chuckled as well.

"I know, but most of it is just a façade and her way of dealing with life. Our sweet little girl's still in there somewhere." They shared a laugh, remembering how cute and precocious Ashley was when she was little, before she realized very few people saw the world the same way she did.

"So do you think we're gonna be okay, Anne? Think we'll be walking down the aisle again anytime soon?"

"I think we need to repair our family some more first. And I'm sure as we do you and I will have plenty of opportunities to repair us as well. Regardless of everything's that's happened to us that past two years, you and I are still friends, George." She gave him a small smile. "Remember how much fun we had on our date before Robbie was born? We reconnected as friends and I honestly think if we work at it we'll reconnect as spouses." George smiled back.

"Sounds good to me." Anne gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, George," she said, turning her nightstand lamp off and settling under the covers.

"Goodnight, Anne," he said, doing likewise.


	24. Bruised Angel

Anne and George both got up early the next morning to fix breakfast for everyone. After getting Robbie ready and placing him in his high chair, Anne went to wake up Ashley.

"Wake up, Ashley," she said as she gently shook her daughter's shoulder. Ashley rolled over to look at her mother, confused as to why she'd be waking her up. "Come into the kitchen for a moment then you can go back to sleep if you want." Anne waited by the door to make sure Ashley was following her before heading back into the kitchen. Amy had already gotten herself and John up and ready for the day and was heading down the stairs as Anne and Ashley made their way into the kitchen. Amy was surprised to see Ashley up that early and the look on her sister's face told her she wasn't up because she wanted to be.

"Alright girls your father and I have something to tell you," Anne began. The sisters looked at each other, silently trying to ask the other if she knew what was going on. "Until this family gets back on track we're going to be having dinner together as a family every night, and we expect both of you to contribute to the conversation. Any questions?" Anne looked from one daughter to the next and Ashley shook her head. Amy bit her lip.

"Um, actually could we make an exception for Wednesdays and weekends?"

"Why?" Anne asked her.

"Ricky and I decided to have dinner as a family over at his apartment on Wednesdays this summer so we could get to know each other better and Margaret and Shakur want me to have dinner with them once or twice a month so I can get to know them better too." Everyone was a little surprised at Amy's announcement. Anne did some quick thinking.

"Alright, Amy. We'll eat dinner without you and John on Wednesdays and whatever night you have dinner with Margaret and Shakur. And it's only fair that we give Ashley one night a week when she doesn't have to eat with us too. Fair enough?" Anne looked at each of her family members and everyone nodded. "Okay then. Ashley, breakfast is ready if you wanna eat now but if not I can fix you a plate and leave it in the fridge for you to heat up later."

"Sounds good," Ashley said just before she yawned. "I'm going back to bed," she announced and left the kitchen. Anne, George, and Amy sat down at the kitchen table to eat their breakfast while the boy's enjoyed theirs from their high chairs.

"Ames," George said.

"Yeah dad?"

"Your mom and I talked last night about the conversations we've had with you recently and I just wanna let you know that we're all on the same page now."

"And we're gonna work at being better parents. How does that sound to you?" Anne asked. Amy smiled.

"Sounds good."

"So is there anyone else you're gonna have a heart-to-heart with?" George asked, genuinely curious. Amy nodded.

"I wanna talk to Grace and Jack next and then I need to talk to Adrian." George and Anne looked at each other with surprise.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Ames," George was quick to reassure her. "Don't you think you've heard enough of what she has to say?"

"Dad, I need to talk to her, but it won't be anytime soon." George breathed a sigh of relief. He and Anne finished their breakfast and got ready to head off to work for the day. They hugged and kissed Amy and John before leaving and Amy placed a kiss on her little brother's cheek. Amy finished her breakfast and checked her watch. She still had a few minutes before she needed to leave for work so she decided to make some phone calls, starting with Grace. She hadn't expected Grace to be up yet and was prepared to leave a voice mail but Grace picked up after the third ring.

"Hi, Amy."

"Oh, hi Grace. I didn't think you'd be up this early."

"Things get started pretty early here at Med Camp. What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about some things and I was wondering when you'll be back from camp so we can meet up and talk."

"Well, I'm here for three more weeks but I have free time at night when we could talk if you didn't wanna wait."

"Okay, sure. John's usually down for the night about 8:00. Could you talk then?"

"Yeah. Lights out isn't until 10:00 so we can talk for a bit."

"Sounds good. I'll talk to you tonight, Grace."

"Kay. Talk to you later, Amy." Although Amy really wanted to talk to Grace face-to-face, she didn't really wanna wait three more weeks. Plus, thankfully she didn't have a lot to ask or say to Grace so this could work. _One more conversation to schedule this week_ Amy thought to herself as she again pulled out her parents' directory. She flipped until she found the number for Reverend Stone and dialed the number.

"Community Church, this is Georgia speaking. How may I help you?"

"My name is Amy Juergens and I was wondering if Revered Stone was available."

"One moment please." Amy waited as Georgia went to see if he was around, and he was because she was patched through to his phone.

"Hello, Amy. What can I do for you," the reverend asked.

"Hello. I just have a question for you and a request to make."

"Alright. What's your question?"

"Why did you offer me a job at the nursery?"

"Well, because my son informed me that you needed a job so you could keep your baby and I had a job available. Are you unhappy working at the nursery, Amy?" She chuckled.

"No, it's nothing like that. I was just wondering why you decided to help me when you didn't have to and you had nothing to gain by it." This time the reverend chuckled.

"Believe it or not, Amy, there are still some people out there who believe in helping others and don't expect or want anything in return, Christians or not."

"I don't think I've ever thanked you for helping me so I'd like to formally say thank you for giving me my job, Reverend Stone."

"You're very welcome, Amy. Now didn't you say there was also a request you wanted to make?"

"Yes. I'd like to also formally thank Jack for enlisting your help to help me but I don't know his cell number. I was wondering if you'd be willing to give it to me."

"Well, since he hasn't given it to you already I'm not really comfortable giving it to you but I'll give you our home phone number and you can call to speak with him whenever you'd like. Although I should tell you that he's at football camp for three more weeks."

"Alright, and I don't mind waiting three more weeks to speak to him." Reverend Stone gave Amy his home phone number and she put it in her phone. A thought occurred to him.

"Amy?"

"Yes?"

"Does Jack have your cell number?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"He calls home from camp once a week. I was just thinking that if he called I could tell him you wanted to speak to him and suggest that he call your cell. But if he doesn't have your number I'll suggest he call your house and speak to you. Thank way you won't have to wait three weeks if you don't want to."

"I'd appreciate that and having him call my house would be fine."

"Alright, will do. Is there anything else I can do for you today, Amy?"

"No, thank you. You've been very helpful. Well, I've gotta get to work. Bye Reverend Stone."

"Bye, Amy, and have a good day." Amy hung up and gathered her bags and John to head off to work. The day passed by quickly and it was time to head home for the day before Amy knew it. For the second time that week Amy sat down with her parents and siblings to eat dinner and they had a pleasant conversation. Both of her parents had interesting stories to tell from their day at work, Amy shared anecdotes about the kids at the nursery and Ashley contributed some interesting things she'd learned that day while watching Animal Planet. Who knew jellyfish could get stuck in aquarium filters if their fish tanks weren't designed just right. They worked together to clear the table and clean up the dinner dished before going their separate ways to get ready for bed. Anne and Amy bathed John and Robbie together to save some time and after a splashtastic half an hour the boys were tuckered out enough to go down for the night without a fuss. Amy had just finished getting ready for bed when her phone rang at exactly 8:10. Amy got comfortable on her bed before answering.

"Hi, Grace."

"Hi, Amy. How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. How's med camp?

"It's great. I'm so glad I came back. So, what did you wanna talk about?"

"Well first I wanted to formally say thank you for getting me my job."

"You don't have to thank me for that."

"Yes, I do, and I want to. Grace, if you hadn't helped me find a job I would've had to give my son up for adoption simply because I couldn't afford to take care of him. That was the only reason I was considering adoption in the first place and I'll forever be grateful to you for helping me, especially considering that your dad and my mom didn't get along and you didn't even really know me. So thank you, Grace."

"Amy, I could see that you wanted to keep your baby and I just wanted to do something to help you. Thanks aren't necessary but if you need to hear the words then, you're welcome." Amy chuckled.

"Is that all you wanted to talk about." Amy sighed.

"No. I also wanted to ask a couple of questions."

"Oh? What's?"

"Why did you tell Adrian my dad lied about his vasectomy?" Grace wasn't prepared for her question and was quiet for a few moments. "Grace?"

"Well…I….it was a huge secret and…..well…..I just had this desire to tell somebody…anybody really…..and well…..Adrian was the first person I ran into…I'm not usually one to gossip, Amy, I just….I don't know….," Grace rambled nervously. "Are you mad at me for what I did? 'Cuz I wasn't trying to gossip on purpose I just…couldn't help myself at the time. I mean, my dad had just died and I didn't know if I believed in God anymore and I was mad at Jack for making me feel like I had to go against my dad's wishes because my dad died that same night and then your dad was being so nice by letting me vent and then suddenly my problems weren't so important anymore and, well…"

"Grace, are you done rambling?" Amy asked with a chuckle. Amy heard Grace swallow.

"I think so. So are you mad at me or something?"

"No, Grace. I was just curious as to why you'd let my dad's secret get out around school." Grace sighed.

"I didn't mean to hurt you or your family, Amy."

"I believe you, Grace," Amy said with another chuckle.

"Why are you asking me about this now?"

"When I got back from New York I decided to remove the drama from my life by severing all ties to people in my life that I can't trust or who keep hurting me. The problem was that I wasn't sure who I could and couldn't trust so I've been having conversations with everyone so I could figure that out."

"And you aren't sure if you can trust me because I gossiped about your dad?" Grace asked her nervously. Amy sighed.

"I believe you helped me because you wanted to and I also believe you weren't thinking it through when you told my dad's secret. The problem I have, Grace, is that your actions caused more problems for me and I'm not sure if I can trust you as a friend and tell you what's going on in my life or if we're just going to be acquaintances."

"Hang on. What problems did **I** cause?" Grace asked, genuinely curious and a little confused.

"Well, when Adrian found out my dad was Robbie's father she approached him to sell his house to her parents so she could spy on me and Ricky. If she hadn't known my parents were thinking of reconciling for Robbie's sake she never would've known my dad's house might be for sale and then moved in next door and started spying on me, not to mention her mother was the woman my dad had an affair with." Grace gasped.

"Oh, Amy, I didn't think about that! I'm so sorry!"

"Grace, I know and I forgive you. Bottom line is that we're gonna have to spend some time really getting to know each other before I can be sure I can trust you enough to call you a friend."

"Oh. Okay," Grace responded a little downcast.

"There's one other question I wanna ask you, Grace."

"What's that?"

"How'd you find out I was pregnant with Ricky's baby?" She had to think back for a moment.

"Jack told me."

"Why?"

"He was mad at me for comparing him to Ricky?"

"Say what?"

"I'd just found out that Jack had lied about just kissing Adrian and they'd actually had oral sex. I confronted them and told Jack I was glad I'd met a nice guy like Ricky. He got mad at me and said maybe I should ask my nice friend Ricky if he was the father of your baby."

"So Adrian found out the same time you did?"

"I think so. I mean, she looked as surprised as I did when Jack said that. Wait, are you gonna be mad at Jack for telling me you were pregnant?" Grace asked quickly, nervous that she's just gotten someone else on Amy's bad side. Amy guessed why Grace was suddenly nervous again and chuckled.

"No, Grace. I already know how news of my pregnancy got out at school. I was just curious as how everyone in our little twisted circle of friends found out. I already know how Jack found out." Grace let out a sigh of relief and Amy tried hard not to smile, even though she knew Grace couldn't see her.

"So I guess we'll talk when I get back?"

"Yeah, we'll talk when you get back. Goodnight, Grace."

"Goodnight, Amy." She ended the call and stared at her phone for several minutes. She didn't realize that her actions were the reason Adrian had moved in next door to Amy. _Maybe I'm not such a good friend or Christian after all_. Grace decided to call her mother since she still had some time before lights out.

"Hi, Grace. How's Med Camp?" her mom asked.

"It's fine but I'm calling to ask you something."

"Oh?"

"Do you think that if you accidentally do something to hurt your friend and you're truly sorry that they should forgive you?"

"Well, if it's a strong friendship than most of the time hurt feelings disappear on their own after a little while. Why do you ask?"

"I just talked to Amy and found out I did something that sorta upset her a while ago but she wasn't ready to talk to me about it until now. I'm just wondering if you think she'll forgive me if I sincerely apologize because I'm really sorry for hurting her without realizing it."

"What did you do?"

"Um….."

"Grace?"

"Well….I kinda spilled the beans about her dad not really getting a vasectomy." Kathleen was stunned for a moment.

"Grace, how did you even find that out?" Grace cleared her throat.

"He told me."

"He what!? Why would he do that?"

"He was trying to make me feel better about sleeping with Jack and then dad dying by telling me he had bigger problems than I thought I had. And it worked because I thought my problems weren't a big deal anymore and I kinda told Adrian, who kinda talked George into selling her parents his house so she could spy on Ricky and Amy."

"Oh, Grace. You had no way of knowing that was going to happen so if Amy's angry at you for something you had no control over than I think you should just give her some time to deal with her anger, and eventually she'll see that having Adrian as a neighbor wasn't your fault."

"But that's just it, mom. Amy's not mad at me, she doesn't know if she can trust me to be a true friend to her! I thought I was becoming a better person but it's like you said, your past always catches up with you and what if I don't deserve Amy's friendship because deep down I'm not a good person?"

"Grace, listen to me. We're all human and we all make mistakes and poor decisions. That doesn't make us bad people, especially if we realize we've messed up and are truly sorry for our actions. If you truly want to be Amy's friend then just give her some time, sweetheart." Grace took a deep breath.

"That's what Amy said. She said we'd talk and spend some time getting to know each other to see if we could really be friends or just acquaintances."

"Well that sounds like a good idea. Don't stress yourself about it, honey. Just enjoy the rest of camp and deal with Amy when you come home."

"Okay. Thanks, mom."

"Anytime honey."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Grace ended the call with her mother and felt a lot better. She wondered if she should call Adrian and let her know Amy was upset that her parents had bought George's house but quickly squashed that idea_. If we're gonna become better friends I need to start by not talking about her behind her back._ She finished getting ready for bed and then climbed under her covers. _Starting tomorrow I'm gonna be a better friend to all of my friends._


	25. Finding A New Dream

Adrian was still pondering her conversation with Ricky from two days ago and wanted to talk to Grace about it. She called her friend but her phone went to voicemail. _Guess she's busy at camp._ She left a message instead.

"Hey, Grace. So Ricky and I sat down and talked Wednesday night and I wanna run some things by you. Call me back when you've got some time to talk." Adrian went downstairs to make herself some breakfast and found her dad at the table eating his.

"Morning, Adrian. How'd you sleep?"

"Okay." She knew he'd heard parts of her conversation with Ricky but he hadn't brought it up so she wasn't going to.

"What are your plans for today?"

"I need to run to the store for some things and then I'll probably just hang around the house and watch TV or something."

"Drive safely." Adrian rolled her eyes but nodded anyway to appease her father. He kissed the top of her head before heading out the door. Adrian made herself a ham and cheese omelet and poured herself a glass of orange juice for breakfast, making sure to take her prenatal vitamins before eating her meal. When she finished she didn't feel like going to the store just yet so she watched TV until her stomach told her it was lunch time. She felt tired after finishing her salad and BLT sandwich so she set her cellphone alarm and took a nap for a couple of hours. As she slept she dreamed that she and Ricky were living in a cute little two-story house with their son and they were all happy. Adrian slept through her alarm and woke up shortly after 5:00. She quickly got herself ready to go to the store and grabbed an apple on her way out the door. She arrived at Safeway within a few minutes and grabbed a small basket, intending to be in and out in a few minutes. Little did she know that her intentions were about to be sidetracked by a toddler and a kind older woman.

Amy had gotten off work earlier than usual because she needed to go to the store and pick up some things for John and herself. She pulled into Safeway minutes after Adrian and parked but didn't see her. She put John into the seat of a basket and began her shopping. As fate would have it, Ricky and Ben both also had things to pick up at Safeway that evening. Ben, like Adrian, was only there for a few items while Ricky, like Amy, had a few more items to pick up. Amy had turned up the juice aisle and stopped to check her list at the same moment that John looked up and saw Ricky walking behind Amy, his eyes focused on his own shopping list.

"Dada!" John cried out, causing Amy to look at her son and then turn around to see who he was calling out to just as Ricky's head swiveled in the direction of his son's voice. He and Amy locked eyes and smiled. Unbeknown to them, Adrian was halfway up juice aisle, having come down it from the other end of the aisle and was frozen in her tracks at the sight of Ricky smiling at Amy. Ben had just turned down the aisle as well and was likewise frozen in place.

"Dada!" John said again with a smile. Ricky walked up to his son and placed a kiss on his head.

"Hey, buddy. Are you being a good boy for mommy?" John nodded, still smiling. Amy just smiled at her happy little boy interacting with his father. Ricky turned to face Amy.

"Hey, Amy."

"Hey."

"You need any help?" he asked, motioning to her list.

"I think I got it. Besides, you've obviously got your own shopping to do and I don't wanna keep you."

"I don't mind helping, Amy" he said with a genuine smile. "Besides, I know it's challenging juggling groceries and a toddler."

"Okay, thanks," Amy replied with a genuine smile of her own. She handed him her list just as an older woman came up the aisle. She turned in their direction when she heard John giggle.

"You have a beautiful little boy," she said, smiling at them.

"Thank you," Ricky said.

"You be a good boy for your mommy and daddy okay cutie pie?"

"Kay!" John squealed. Adrian's heart broke at the sight of the three of them together and the woman's words. She turned around to head out of the aisle and that's when she saw Ben. Their eyes locked and they both headed down the adjacent aisle, hoping Amy and Ricky wouldn't be heading their way. They finished shopping together in silence and quickly went through the self-checkout line. Unfortunately for them, Ricky and Amy finished at the exact same time and they crossed paths as they were all about to leave the store. There were several moments of awkward silence before John broke the ice. He saw a man walking his dog and chose that moment to point it out.

"Doggie!" he said gleefully, pointing at the dog. "Mommy, daddy, doggie!" They looked in the direction he was pointing.

"Yep, that's a doggie buddy," Ricky said. Everyone chuckled nervously.

"Well, we should get going," Ricky said.

"Yeah, us too," Ben replied. Ricky let Amy lead the way to her car and smirked when he saw that he had parked only three spaces away from her. He began loading her groceries while she buckled John into his seat. He had finished by the time she was done.

"So we'll see you at the house in a little bit?"

"Yeah. Drive carefully," he told her before turning to ruffle John's hair from the trunk. "See you in a little bit, buddy."

"Bye daddy!" Ricky smiled, closed the trunk and walked to his car. Ben walked Adrian to her car, surprised to see that he's parked right next to her.

"So you wanna talk about it?" he asked her. Adrian sat on the bumper of her car and let the tears fall from her eyes. Ben sat next to her and put an arm around her.

"It's not fair."

"I know."

"You still love her don't you?" Ben just nodded

"But she's not in love with me anymore. That's why we broke up." Adrian stilled for a moment.

"So it's really over between you two?" Again Ben just nodded.

"It's over for me and Ricky too. I thought we could work it out but he came over to talk to me Wednesday night and said we'd never get back together." She started crying harder and Ben hugged her a little tighter. "It's just not fair. We fell in love with them but they always find their way back to each other because of John. Even perfect strangers see them and know they're a family. Before today I still hoped he and I would work things out." Ben chuckled.

"Before watching them in there today I sorta hoped Amy would still consider being with me. With John in the picture we never had a chance, Adrian, but I get it." She looked up at him confused. "Think about it, Adrian. You're gonna have our baby. Even though we agreed to remain friends and raise our baby **as** friends, we're always gonna be in each other's lives because we share a child and when two people raise a kid together they can't help but get closer to each other." Ben sighed. "I don't know if they'll become a couple but they'll always care about each other just like I'll always care about you because you're the mother of my baby."

Adrian nodded sadly, accepting for the first time that whatever she had with Ricky in the past was most definitely in the past. She wiped her face and put her grocery bag in her trunk. She and Ben shared a hug and then got into their cars and went their separate ways. Adrian went straight to her room with her grocery bag upon arriving back at home and sat on her bed. The image of Ricky smiling at Amy, genuinely happy to see her, and that woman telling the two of them they had a beautiful baby replayed in her mind on a loop for several minutes. Slowly the pain of realizing she would never be with Ricky began to subside as a thought occurred to her. She placed a hand on her belly absently as she imagined that same woman walking up to her and saying **she** had a beautiful baby and Adrian smiled.

"I'm gonna be a good mother to you sweet pea," she said in the direction of her stomach. "I know momma messed up but your daddy's a good guy and we both love you so everything's gonna be okay." She chuckled. "Momma doesn't know how but we'll figure it out," she said with a smile. _I wonder if Amy ever felt like this _Adrian wondered. She'd been worried on and off about how everything was going to work out but suddenly thinking about having her baby with her and being able to interact with her son or daughter made Adrian smile and gave her a sense of peace. _I have a baby coming._ _All I'm gonna worry about from now on is making sure you arrive safe and healthy _she silently promised her child. With that happy thought and a sense of peace, Adrian went downstairs to fix herself something for dinner.

Ben was lying on his bed also thinking about his impending fatherhood_. I know it's gonna take some time to get over Amy but at least taking care of a baby will help keep me busy. I wonder if we'll have a boy or a girl. I wonder if our baby will take after me or Adrian. Either way we'll have a cute kid; I'm sure of it. _Ben smiled._ I can't wait to meet my son or daughter. I'll be a good dad, I just know it._

Amy was busy feeding John so she could give him a bath and he was more interested in playing with his food than letting his mother feed him his beef stew. Amy tried her hardest to keep a stern face to let John know it wasn't play time but he was having so much fun sticking his fingers in his stew and drawing squiggles on his high chair tray that she was failing miserably. She managed to feed him almost three quarters of his stew before he simply refused to eat anymore.

"Alright, but if your little tummy rumbles tonight daddy might not be too happy."

"Too happy about what?" Ricky asked, materializing from the living room.

"John decided he'd rather play with the rest of his dinner than eat it," Amy informed him. She placed his bowl on the kitchen table and went to wet a paper towel to wipe his face and fingers.

"Are we being difficult tonight?" Ricky asked his son. John had no idea what his father was asking him but by Ricky's playful tone he knew we wasn't in trouble so John smiled; Ricky just laughed. He stepped aside so Amy could clean up their son and then remove him from his high chair.

"I'll finish cleaning up in here if you wanna get him ready for bed," Ricky offered.

"Thanks," Amy told him before heading upstairs to give John his bath. George walked in moments later and found Ricky wiping down John's high chair tray.

"Hey. Long time no see. Aren't you here kinda early?"

"Yeah," Ricky replied, replacing John's high chair tray. "I was just ready to come over." George helped him straighten up the kitchen and then looked around to see if Amy was nearby before turning back to Ricky.

"I wanna ask you somethin'."

"Okay."

"How'd your talk with Amy go on Monday?"

"I think it went well. Why?"

"Just wanted to see if you two were getting along better, that's all." Ricky nodded.

"We're working on it. We're taking John to the zoo on Saturday so the three of us can spend some quality time together." George nodded, signaling he thought that was a good idea.

"I just wanted to let you know that my little girl's been through a lot, emotionally, so be nice, okay?" Ricky smirked, recognizing the protective father coming out of George.

"I will. Promise." Robbie came toddling into the kitchen with Anne not far behind.

"Hey, buddy!"

"Dada! Doose peas!" George chuckled.

"One cup of juice coming right up!" he said. Robbie clapped his approval and Anne just smiled at her boys. Amy came downstairs carrying a pajama clad John and his overnight bag.

"Party in the kitchen?" Amy asked. Her parents chuckled.

"Apparently," Anne said. Amy just smiled and handed first John and then his bag to Ricky. Anne walked over and gave her grandson a goodnight kiss.

"Have fun sweet pea," she said while gently ruffling his hair. He smiled and curled into Ricky's side.

"So we'll see you tomorrow around 2:30, right?" Ricky asked Amy.

"Yep." She gave John a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you boys tomorrow." Ricky quickly buckled John into his car seat and then got into the driver's seat. He looked back at the house and saw Amy standing in the doorway. He waved and she waved back. _We're gonna be okay_ he thought as he backed out of the driveway. As Ricky tucked his son into his crib for the night he was still thinking about Amy. As he climbed into bed that night he fell asleep with a single thought: _I still don't know what romantic gesture to make for her to apologize, but maybe I'll find out tomorrow._


	26. Lions, Tigers & Bears, Oh My!

Ricky woke up in a good mood. He was going to spend his afternoon with Amy and their son and he couldn't think of anything else he'd rather be doing today after work. As he went about his weekend routine of getting himself and John ready and fed he kept wondering how to figure out what Amy found romantic today. He still had no idea how to do it as he dropped John off at his mom's and headed to work but he was still in a good mood.

Ben picked up on this as he noticed Ricky had a little more pep in his step today and kept smiling. The image of Ricky with his family, with Amy and John, replayed in Ben's head for a moment before he snapped himself out of it. It still stung a little that Ricky now had nothing keeping him from getting even closer to Amy, but Ben decided he needed to focus on Adrian and their unborn child instead of making himself unhappy by dwelling on Amy and Ricky. Ricky could tell that something was on Ben's mind because he noticed that Ben seemed a little distracted and down today. He decided not to ask him about it. He and Ben hadn't quite restored their friendship yet so Ricky opted to just leave well enough alone unless Ben approached him about whatever was on his mind. Soon enough their workday was over and Ricky showered and changed before heading to pick up John. He decided to take John to the park for a little while before his nap since the weather was so nice.

Amy had spent her morning sleeping in and then tidying up around the house. Her room was a lot easier to clean now that there was less stuff in it and so she decided to really clean the boys' room as well. She smiled as she started sorting John and Robbie's toys into their respective toy boxes, amused at how well John got along with his uncle. She finished up and started a load of laundry. She came back into the kitchen and saw Ashley fixing herself some soup.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So what are you up to today?" Amy asked her sister. Ashley shrugged.

"Just bummin' around the house for a bit. I might go read a book at the park later or something. You?"

"Ricky and I are taking John to the zoo after his nap. We haven't done a lot with just the three of us so we're gonna try and change that."

"Bring me back something."

"From the zoo?"

"What's wrong with souvenirs from the zoo?" Amy chuckled.

"Nothing I guess. What do you want?" Ashley shrugged again as she sat at the kitchen able to eat her soup.

"Surprise me." Amy shook her head in amusement and went upstairs to bum around on her computer until the laundry needed to be put in the dryer. She finished drying, folding and putting away two loads of laundry before it was time to head over to Ricky's. She arrived just as Ricky finished packing John's bag so they could head out.

"Hey," he greeted her after opening the door at her knock.

"Hey. All ready to go?" He nodded and locked the door behind him. He handed her John' stroller and they made their way downstairs. They all got into his car and made the short trip to the zoo. Ricky buckled John into his stroller as Amy placed his diaper bag in the basket below his seat. Ricky paid for their admission into the zoo and they were off. They decided to skip the sea life exhibits since Amy had taken John to the aquarium several days ago and instead headed straight for the children's zoo so John could interact with the animals. John kept swiveling his head around to see everything as Amy unbuckled him from his stroller and held his hand as they walked into the contact yard.

"Oooooooo," John said as he spotted a sheep and tugged away from his mother. Amy let him walk over to it and pet it.

"Be gentle, John," Amy cooed to him with a smile. She spotted a baby pygmy goat and pointed it out. "Look over there, John," she said while pointing at the little goat. "See the little goat?" John looked where she was pointing and smiled when he saw it too. He turned to Ricky.

"Dada, baby!" he informed him while pointing where Amy had been pointing. Ricky smiled at his son and nodded, letting John know he'd seen it too. Ten minutes later they were making their way towards the aviary enclosures to watch the birds fly about.

"Birdies, mommy!" he told her. Amy couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm.

"Yep. Lots of birdies." A woman standing a few feet away from her with two children of her own giggled at the pure joy on John's face. John looked over Amy's shoulder and saw a turtle splash in some water. He pointed in its direction and Amy turned in the same direction. Seeing the splash, Amy and Ricky headed towards the amphibian area. John was craning his neck to try and see so Ricky took John and placed him on his shoulders. John squealed with glee when he was finally able to see the turtles better.

"Lookie, lookie!" he cried out with excitement, causing both of his parents to smile. "Mommy, lookie!"

"I see them, sweetie," she assured him.

"What animal is that, John?" Ricky asked him.

"Turdle!"

"That's right, buddy." John smiled and turned his attention back to the water. Two turtles were playing some type of tag and John laughed at their antics. Amy thought it was a Kodak moment and snapped a picture. After a few minutes they headed towards the snack bar area to use the restrooms and change John's diaper. When Amy emerged from the ladies' room she found Ricky and John seated at the snack area. He handed her a Snapple iced tea and hot dog after she sat down. She gave him a questioning look.

"John wanted a snack so we might as well join him," he told her. Amy smiled and ate her snack while John finished his animal crackers and juice.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked Ricky, reaching in her purse for her wallet.

"Don't worry about it; my treat."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They finished their snack and Amy stopped at the gift shop to buy Ashley a souvenir before she suggested they head back towards the aviary and visit the butterfly enclosure. They made their way over and an employee informed them about the enclosure.

"Hello and welcome to the butterfly enclosure. You're about to be surrounded by live butterflies so there are several precautions we ask you all to take. 1) Please be gentle with our little friends. If they land on you don't brush them off harshly. 2) Please no flash photography as it can momentarily disorient the butterflies. 3) Before exiting the enclosure at the other end you will be asked to wait in a small holding room where a zoo employee will inspect your attire and bags to ensure none of our little friends are trying to go home with you. Any questions?" Amy and Ricky shook their heads and the employee opened the door for them. They passed through a small room, another holding room no doubt, before opening a door and walking into the enclosure itself. Amy gasped. The room was at least twenty feet tall with trees, plants and flowers all over the room. It gave the appearance that you had just walked into an actual forest; there was even a stream running throughout the room with a small waterfall. The glass of the ceiling let in the sunlight but somehow the room didn't feel overly hot or stuffy like a greenhouse. And the cheery on top was the thousands of butterflies fluttering around and resting among the flowers. Ricky watched Amy's face literally light up at the sight. He knew she liked butterflies but the look of childlike wonder and awe on her face at that moment told him that she didn't just like them-she loved them. John was a little nervous with so many butterflies flying around and snuggled into Amy's side for comfort. She turned to face him and kissed his forehead.

"It's alright, sweetie, they won't hurt you. Butterflies are small, and pretty, and gentle. You don't have to be afraid," she gently told him with a smile. Ricky took out his digital camera and started recording Amy interacting with the butterflies. John flinched when a butterfly came too close to his face and Amy held him a little tighter and rubbed his back to comfort him. She put her hand out to touch a monarch butterfly that was resting on a nearby bush when another one chose that moment to land on her hand. She giggled and slowly brought it a little closer to John. His curiosity got the better of him and he leaned forward to look at it more closely.

"See, John. The butterflies won't hurt you. Isn't it pretty?" John tentatively reached out a finger to touch it and managed to stroke one of its wings before it flew away. John's mouth opened in awe as his eyes followed its flight until it disappeared into a tree. He giggled and Amy laughed as well. They walked around slowly, stopping to let John look at any butterfly he saw and pointed out resting on a rock, flower, or tree branch. Amy and John were lost in their own little world for several minutes and Ricky just smiled as he continued recording them. They reached an area with tall grass and lots of flowers that had a sign letting them know they could lie down in the grass and watch the butterflies if they chose to. Amy put John down and took his hand as they walked into the grass. They sat down and watched butterflies flutter around them, landing on flowers or tall blades of grass before fluttering away. A rather large Red Admiral butterfly caught John's attention and he gasped before looking around for his daddy. Ricky was actually sitting right behind him, still recording.

"Dadda! Lookie!" he cried with excitement.

"I see it, buddy. It's pretty, huh?" John nodded and turned back to watch the butterfly. Ricky looked over at Amy and found her smiling at him and he could see nothing but peace and happiness in her eyes.

"Awwwwwwww," John suddenly cried, causing his parents to break eye contact and look at him. Apparently the Red Admiral had had enough of a rest and decided to flutter off.

"It's okay, John. There are still lots of butterflies around. Look," she told him while pointing at a Tiger Swallow that was fluttering in front of them. John put his hands down in front of him and leaned towards the butterfly as he watched it, a look of amazement and wonder on his face. _Another Kodak moment_ Ricky thought as he snapped a picture of his son enraptured with a butterfly in front of him while his mother smiled next to him and pointed at it. As he looked at the faces of the two most important people in his life it hit him. _Amy has a genuine love of butterflies. Whatever I do to let her know I appreciate her needs to involve or include these little guys._ John crawled over to a nearby lilac bush to get a closer look at an Orange Sulphur butterfly and his parents just giggled at the sight of their son slowly crawling up to a butterfly and just staring at it. Ricky checked his watch and saw that it was close to closing time.

"We need to start heading out," he told Amy as he stood up. He offered her his hand to help her to her feet and she took it. She scooped up John and they made their way towards the exit at the other end of the enclosure. John began to fuss and pout when he realized they were leaving.

"We can come back another time, John. The butterflies will still be here," Amy assured him. He wasn't appeased and continued fussing. They waited as the zoo employee inspected their clothes and bags for stowaway butterflies and then Amy buckled John into his stroller. If he was going to start acting fussy then he could do it from his stroller. He whined as Ricky pushed the stroller out of the zoo and into the parking lot but decided to stop whining and just pout when neither of his parents acknowledged his whining. The drive back to Ricky's apartment was comfortably silent, Amy checking on John in the rear view mirror every so often. His grumpy mood had passed by the time they got back. Amy carried John's stroller up the stairs while Ricky carried John and his bag. As soon as Ricky opened the door and set John down he scurried over to his toys. Amy set the stroller down just inside the door.

"This was fun."

"I agree."

"Well, see you tomorrow night." Amy turned to leave and Ricky blanched. He didn't want Amy to go just yet.

"Stay for dinner."

"I can't." Ricky gave her a look that asked her to explain and she chuckled, remembering that so far the solution to rebuilding trust seemed to be family meals. "My parents feel that a good way to start rebuilding our family is to have dinner together every night, except Wednesdays when I'll be eating dinner with you or course." Ricky chuckled, realizing as Amy had that family dinners seemed to be the theme of the summer.

"Alright. Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Yeah." She turned towards John. "Bye bye, John. Mommy will see you tomorrow."

"Bye, mommy!" She turned back towards Ricky.

"Bye, Ricky."

"Bye, Amy. Drive safe." She nodded and headed down the stairs. Ricky closed and secured the door with a sigh. Their afternoon together had been fun and relaxing. Sharing their son's joy and laughter like they had on his first birthday was nice. A touch of sadness washed over Ricky. _I wish the day didn't have to end though_ he thought as he placed John in his play pen so he could prepare dinner.

Upon arriving home Amy went in search of Ashley. She found her sister in the living room watching some show about dolphins on the discovery channel while Robbie played on the floor nearby. He was the first to spot Amy.

"Amy!"

"Hi, Robbie! Whatcha doin'?" He held up his toy boat as though that was all the answer he needed to give and Amy just chuckled. "Hey, Ash. Got ya something." She held out a plastic bag towards her sister with the Los Angeles Zoo logo on it. Ashley smiled and took the bag from her. She pulled out her gift and burst into laughter, catching Robbie's attention. She continued chuckling as she held up a stuffed kangaroo with the words 'The Zoo's Really Hoppin' stitched into its pouch; Robbie went back to playing with his boat.

"Cute. Thanks, Ames." Ashley hugged her sister as George came into the living room.

"What was so funny in here?" Ashley held up her kangaroo and George gave her a quizzical look before looking at Amy with a look that asked for an explanation because he was obviously missing something. Amy giggled.

"I told Ash Ricky and I were taking John to the zoo today and she asked me to get her something."

"From the zoo?"

"Yes, from the zoo," the sisters said in unison. They made eye contact briefly before both saying "Jinx!" They dissolved into fits of giggles and George rolled his eyes at them but the girls could tell from his smile that he wasn't really irritated with their juvenile behavior. George was glad to see his girls getting along like sisters, even if it was due to something as juvenile as speaking in unison. _Things are getting better around here_ he thought to himself as he headed into the kitchen to see if Anne needed any help with dinner.


	27. Awkward

"So you admitted you just wanted to sleep with her, but you didn't mention the bet?" Henry nervously asked Ben while taking a sandwich from the lunch tray that was sitting on Ben's bed.

"Yes and no," Ben said with a sigh, putting some more chips on his plate. Ben had invited Alice and Henry over for lunch to fill them in on his talk with Amy.

"So do you think she'll wanna talk to me and Alice?" Henry said as he glanced nervously at Alice. "I think it would be in our best interest not to mention that bet, especially since Ben willingly backed out of it after falling for Amy." He gave Alice a pleading look and she rolled her eyes.

"Obviously the girl's tryna figure out how everything got so screwed up so maybe she'll talk to us and maybe she won't. If she does the **least** we can do is tell the truth, for once." Ben and Henry exchanged nervous glances before looking back at Alice. "Oh grow up you two! Amy now knows you went out with her under false pretenses so I doubt the bet's gonna come up," she told them matter-of-factly as she placed some more carrot sticks and dip on her plate. The three friends finished eating their lunch in silence.

"Hey, let's get outta here and get shakes from the Dairy Shack," Henry suggested. "They're half off for the next two weeks," he said in a singsong voice.

"Why not?" Ben said with a smile. Maybe getting some fresh air for a little while could help lift his mood a little higher. Amy, Lauren and Madison were just finishing up their own lunch at the Dairy Shack as Ben and his friends got into her car to head their way.

"So how are the Q & A sessions going so far?" Lauren asked Amy as she finished off her fries.

"Good so far. I've discovered that I've got a lot more allies that I thought I did and that I need to spend some time getting to know some people a little better."

"Oh? Like who?" Madison asked, taking the last bite of her cheeseburger.

"I'm gonna take some time this summer to get to know Ricky and his foster parents a little better."

"Well that sounds nice," Madison said, swallowing a drink from her soda. "So you think you and Ricky will ever be a couple?" Amy giggled.

"Honestly I don't know. For now we're just gonna hang out and try to become actual friends. Beyond that I don't know." Amy finished the last bite of her turkey burger and took a drink from her soda. "So what have you two been up to this past week?" Madison scrunched up her nose and frowned.

"Just working at the food court during the day. My dad's been giving me lectures on relationships at dinner though." She sighed. "He really doesn't like Jack and just can't see that he's made some mistakes but he's not a bad guy!" Amy chuckled and Madison glared at her.

"I'm not laughing at you, Madison. I think what you just said applies to several people we know, myself included. We're not bad people we're just teens who've made some poor choices." Madison nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Let's go get those shakes," Lauren suggested. They had just picked up and paid for their shakes when they turned around and saw Ben, Alice and Henry standing in line to order. They all made eye contact briefly before Ben and his friends exchanged glances and Amy and her friends did the same. The girls walked back to the booth they were just sitting at.

"Um, Amy?" Madison whispered.

"What?" Amy whispered back.

"Do you consider ben, Alice and Henry friends or not, after everything that's happened I mean?"

"Well," Amy began in a whisper and then stopped. "Why are we whispering? They can't hear us from over there. I consider Ben and his friends acquaintances. Ben and I've been through too much together and he's done too much for me to ever consider him an enemy but we've both hurt each other too much to be close friends."

"Even after getting Adrian pregnant?" Lauren asked, her eyes getting a little wider. Amy nodded.

"That was an accident, and being a teen parent myself I have no right to judge him for it."

"So how are we supposed to act around him? Do we trust with stuff about what's going on with us or not?" Madison asked, still not sure what their next move was gonna be. Amy chuckled in her direction.

"Madison, if you wanna be friends with them and tell them what's going on in your life that's up to you. Just know that I **won't** be doing that." Amy took a sip of her shake as Lauren shook her head.

"You're our best friend, Amy. If you don't trust them with what's going on in your life then I don't trust them with that kind of info about me either." Madison nodded. The each took another long sip of their shake.

"Do we go over and say hi?" Henry nervously whispered to Ben and looked at Alice for confirmation of what to do next. Alice rolled her eyes.

"We can't avoid them forever. We live in the same community and we go to school together." Ben nodded.

"Let's go say hi." They walked over to see the girls silently enjoying their shakes. "Hi Amy, Lauren, Madison," he said, going around the booth to greet each of them. "Mind if we join you?" Amy looked at each of her friends with a questioning look and they both just shrugged non-committedly.

"Sure." Ben and Henry sat on the seat next to Madison while Alice joined Amy and Lauren on the other side of the booth. Everyone took a few sips from their shakes, no one sure what to say. Henry tried to break the awkward silence.

"So…What's everyone been up to since school got out?" He asked, looking at everyone.

"Not much. Just working and taking care of John," Amy replied.

"Same here," Madison added while Lauren nodded.

"What about you guys?" Lauren asked politely?

"Just working at the butcher shop mostly," Ben said. Alice shrugged.

"I've just been hanging around the house doing nothing and hanging out with these two whenever."

"Same here," Henry added. There were several more minutes of silence as everyone sipped on their shakes. Henry was growing more anxious by the second and after about three minutes he couldn't take it anymore.

"Amy, I know you've talked to Ben about some things and I gotta know. Are you mad at me and Alice for anything?" Ben stepped on his foot and Alice glared at him. "Ow! What! I wanna know!" he whined, looking between his two best friends. Amy giggled.

"No, Henry, I'm not mad at you or Alice for anything. In fact I'm glad Ben has both of you around." Everyone at the booth looked at Amy like she'd lost her mind and she giggled again. "Everyone needs friends that they can count on to be there and have their back through thick and thin. Lauren and Madison have stuck by me and I'm glad that Ben has the two of you to stick by him. He's gonna need close friends now more than ever and I'm glad he won't have to face parenthood alone," she explained with a genuine smile before taking another sip of her shake.

"Oh, ok," Henry said, relieved Amy wasn't upset with him. The teens finished their shakes, talking only about general topics like TV shows and music, and then headed their separate ways.

"Did that seem awkward to anybody else besides me?" Henry asked as they got into Ben's car to head back to his house for Alice and Henry's cars.

"Definitely. Everyone was being way too polite. They don't trust us" Alice responded with a frown. Ben gave her a questioning look.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, pulling out of the Dairy Shack parking lot. Alice gave him a patronizing look and began to explain the situation as if Ben were a small child. "Oh, Benny boy. When you don't know someone very well you don't tell them anything personal about yourself, your family or what's going on in your life. Did you notice how all we talked about were topics any normal teenagers would talk about, even though we've been wrapped up in each other's lives for almost two years? Did you notice how we avoided talking about John even though parents have a tendency to talk about their child to complete strangers any chance they get? She may not hate you but she definitely doesn't trust you with any more personal info about her life, and me and Hank by extension because we're your best friends." Realization came over Ben and Henry's faces.

"So wait. Does this mean we're **not** friends with Amy, Lauren and Madison or we **are** so long as we don't discuss anything too personal?" Alice rolled her eyes and looked at Henry from the rearview mirror.

"It means we're acquaintances, not friends."

"Oh." While the two sets of trios were dispersing for the afternoon, Ruben, George and Leo were about to have an awkward encounter of their own at the grocery store. George wanted to have pork steaks and garlic mashed potatoes for dinner but they were out of potatoes and garlic so he made a quick run to the store. Cindy was busy cleaning the house and had asked Ruben to take the grocery list off the fridge and do the grocery shopping. Leo had a hankering for chocolate cake and decided to run to the Safeway bakery to pick one up instead of waiting for the cook at home to prepare one. They crossed paths at the checkout line. The sight of each of them reawakened various emotions. Ruben remembered his daughter's past behavior as well as his own poor decisions and was too embarrassed to speak to George. George was angry at Ruben's daughter but also ashamed for hurting his family by sleeping with Cindy and then selling Ruben his house. Leo was ashamed of how his son had treated George's daughter but also wanted to tell George how much he admired the strong young woman Amy had become. They stood there for several moments just looking at each other. Finally Leo cleared his throat.

"George, I have a confession to make to you." George gave Leo his full attention.

"Oh?"

"Amy came by last Saturday to speak to Ben about their relationship and end it on a positive note. I shamelessly eavesdropped on their conversation and I want to tell you that I admire the strong, mature young woman Amy's become and I'm sorry she was hurt by my son in the process."

"Thanks, Leo. As much as I hate that she had to be hurt, I'm also proud of the young woman she's become." Leo turned to Ruben.

"Ruben, how's Adrian doing?"

"She's doing well, all things considering." He nervously turned back to face George_. I can't hide from the man indefinitely; we're neighbors._ Ruben sighed. "George, may I have a word with you? In the parking lot? Where there will be fewer people to overhear us?" George inwardly sighed. _I guess I can't ignore him forever. He's my neighbor after all._ George simply nodded.

"I'll wait for you by the door after I've paid for these," he said, holding up a small sack of potatoes and a bagged clove of garlic. Ruben nodded. The three men paid for their purchases and Leo bid them goodbye. George and Ruben walked to Ruben's car and George waited while he loaded his groceries into his trunk. He closed the trunk and sat on it, motioning for George to join him.

"Amy came to see me last Thursday," he informed George. "She asked me why I'd made certain decisions that ended up impacting her life and she asked me if I was aware of how much my daughter was harassing her." George narrowed his eyes slightly in anger, knowing what Adrian had said about Amy and Anne but remained silent as Ruben sighed. "I don't know if Amy's told you or not but Adrian was downright cruel to her with the things she said and implied in the past, and I moved in next door to her completely unaware of it. I didn't think it all the way through. I've apologized to Amy already, George, and now I need to apologize to you. I never meant to cause your family grief by moving in next door and not keeping a closer eye on Adrian after I came back into her life." Ruben had been staring at the ground while making his apology and now he turned to look at George.

"Neither of us thought it through when we discussed selling you my house." Ruben hadn't expected George to say that. "I didn't consider that living next door to the woman I'd had an affair with might upset my ex-wife as well as my daughters. I also didn't know how much friction there actually was between our daughters and, like you, had I been aware of it I wouldn't have sold you the house. I've talked to Anne and the girls about it and we're willing to put it behind us and move forward so you might as well do the same." George got off the trunk of Ruben's car and turned to face him. "Before I leave you should know something. Amy told us what Adrian said and implied about her and Anne and because of it your daughter is not allowed on our property until she changes her ways. If Adrian feels like making apologies she'll just have to call our house. See you around, Ruben," George said before turning around and heading to his own car.

Ruben rubbed the back of his neck to ease some tension that was building there. _Living next door to the Juergens is gonna be awkward for a while._ While Ruben was getting into his car to head back home, Adrian was in her room playing on her computer. Her cellphone rang and she pounced on it when she saw that Grace was calling.

"Hey, Adrian."

"About time you called me back! What have you been **doing** the past two days?" Grace laughed.

"Adrian, I'm at med camp. There's a lot to do each day. So your voicemail said you wanted to run some things by me?"

"Yeah," Adrian said with a sigh, flopping on her bed and staring at the ceiling. "But first I gotta fill you in on a few things." Grace listened quietly for over an hour and a half as Adrian told her about Amy's conversation with her dad, her parents' conversation about her, her mother lecturing her, Ricky coming over to talk and reiterate that they were over for good, her run-in with Ricky and Amy at the grocery store, and her newfound sense of peace when she thought about her baby.

"So what I wanna know is if you'd be willing to help me become a better person, again. I know you tried to help me before but I'm really committed to it this time. I really wanna be the kind of woman my son or daughter will be proud to call their mom. So, will you help me?" Grace smiled.

"Sure, Adrian. Maybe we can help each other."

"What do you mean?" Grace debated for a few minutes how much of her conversation with Amy to reveal to Adrian since she considered Adrian her friend. Remembering everything that Adrian had just revealed to her from various conversations, however, made Grace aware that Amy didn't trust Adrian so she probably shouldn't tell Arian anything too personal. "Grace?"

"Well…..Amy called me a couple of days ago to chat and I realized that I wasn't the best friend I could've been to her and I wanna change that and become a better person too. So I figure if we're both trying to be better people, at the same time, then we can help each other."

"Wait, you talked to Amy but you didn't bother to call me back!?"

"She called me before you left me that voicemail," Grace calmly reassured her friend. "Weekends are jammed packed with activities here at camp. You said to call when I had some time to talk and I've got time to talk for the rest of the day so that's why I'm calling now."

"Oh. So what exactly did you and Amy talk about." Even though Adrian couldn't see her Grace shook her head.

"Uh uh, Adrian. Amy called to have a chat with me about our friendship and as her friend I'm not gonna pass anything along to you. If you wanna know anything about Amy you'll need to talk to her yourself." Adrian groaned.

"Part of me wants to but part of me doesn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Grace, my mom had me as a teenager but she's not around all the time and it happened seventeen years ago. Amy's the only teen mom I know that's close to my age and around that I could talk to. But part of me knows that if I talk to her we'll talk about pretty much everything Ricky and my parents talked to me about and I've already decided I don't wanna be the person I was when I did and said those things." She turned over onto her stomach and played with her bedspread. "Besides, my parents forbid me to contact her in any way and it's not likely that she's gonna call me anytime soon."

"Just give it some time," Grace said sympathetically, giving Adrian the same advice her mother had given her.

"I know, I know. It just makes living next door to Amy so…..awkward. Ironically now that I wanna talk to her I can't." Grace talked to and comforted Adrian for another hour before Adrian was ready to end the conversation.

"I'll call or text you when I have some more free time, okay?"

"Ok, Grace. Talk to you later." Adrian ended the call and stretched out on her side, trying to think of a way to convince Amy to talk to her. Back at the Juergens household the phone was ringing. Ashley answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ashley? This is Jack."

"Hi, Jack. What's up?"

"Is Amy around?" Ashley heard a car pull into the driveway and looked out the back door window to see who it was; it was Amy.

"She's just pulled into the driveway. Hang on." Ashley set the phone down to go to the doorway and let Amy know Jack was calling her. Amy came in and picked up the phone.

"Hi, Jack."

"Hi, Amy. My dad said you wanted to talk to me?"

"No, I just wanted to formally thank you for helping me get my job."

"Huh?" Confusion was evident in Jack's voice and she smirked.

"I'll always be grateful that you played a role in helping me be able to keep and take care of my son and I don't recall ever actually thanking you for your help so that's what I wanted to say: Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Amy. Grace said she wanted to help you find a job but didn't know where to start looking. I didn't know either so I asked my dad if he had any suggestions on how we could help you. It was just fortunate that the church had a job available. Really, I didn't do all that much."

"I still appreciate it and I'm grateful to you."

"Well, you're welcome, Amy. Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yep."

"Okay, then. Talk to you later, Amy."

"Bye, Jack." Amy hung up the phone and headed up to her room to drop off her purse and charge her phone. Ashley took her snack into the living room with a smile. _Even though she's trying to be tougher, Amy's still basically a kindhearted person. But now you just gotta be her friend or on her good side to see it._


	28. Checkup from the Neck Up

Ricky walked in, shut the door behind him, plopped down on the couch with a frustrated sigh, and leaned his head against the back of the couch. Seven whole minutes passed before the silence was broken.

"You came here for a reason, Ricky. Wanna tell me what that reason is?" Dr. Fields asked him.

"I'm in love with Amy and it's driving me crazy." Dr. Fields arched an eyebrow in question.

"So you've circled back around to Amy?" Ricky shook his head, still staring at the ceiling.

"Are you saying that you don't consider this as circling back to her because you've never **stopped** being in love with her?" Ricky nodded, finally bringing his head down to face Dr. Fields. "If you've been in love with Amy before, why do you feel it's making you crazy this time around?"

"Because this time I'm scared that if I push her to be in a relationship with me she'll turn me down," he admitted sadly.

"Why are you scared of Amy rejecting you this time but not before?"

"Because this time I'm not running from her," he admitted quietly.

"Are you saying that last time you ran from your feelings for Amy?" Ricky flashed back to the conversation he'd had with Dr. Fields about this plan to string along potential adoptive couples in hopes Amy would decide to raise their son with him and shook his head.

"I don't understand, Ricky." Ricky absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair and revealed to his therapist the portion of his conversation with Amy where he admitted to her he'd run from his feelings for her at band camp. Some more of the puzzle pieces that were Ricky Underwood fell into place in Dr. Fields' mind as he finally understood when and why Ricky started trying to become a better man. "And so you're saying that this time you don't **want** to run from your feelings for her." Ricky nodded and sagged into the couch a little. He began to tell his therapist about the rest of his conversation with Amy, his dreams about her, his conversation with Adrian and what he'd learned from it all. Dr. Fields was blown away at how much Ricky and Amy had matured in the past two years.

"And that's why this is driving me crazy! We've been having dinner together once a week and doing something together with John for the past month and a half now and I've never been more sure that I wanna be with someone than I am right now! Even though Amy's still easy to talk to and I feel like she's actually become my best friend, I wanna date her! Nice clothes, fancy meal, the whole stupid shebang! I wanna hold her hand, kiss her, spend time alone with her; I mean, don't get me wrong I love spending time with her and John as a family I just wanna spend some time with just the two of us too." He placed his right ankle over his left knee and rested his hand on it as he stared at the wall, wallowing in his jumbled emotions.

"Have you told Amy that you've developed romantic feelings for her?" Ricky hung his head and shook it sadly.

"I don't know if she feels anything for me beyond friendship and I'd rather not say anything and get to keep spending time with her than tell her how I feel and have her pull away from me."

"But keeping your true feelings from her is making you feel a little out of control, isn't it?" Ricky nodded. "Ricky," Dr. Fields said gently, causing Ricky to look him in the eyes again. "There comes a time in every relationship where you have to take that leap of faith." He put up a hand to stop Ricky from trying to protest or interject. "I know with your childhood and past relationships with women that you're more inclined to put up barriers than allow yourself to be hurt. That's a natural, human response, Ricky, and there's nothing wrong with it per se. However, if you want to have a genuine relationship with Amy than you need to be prepared to make yourself vulnerable to her. You'll have to let her get close to your heart and be prepared for her to get close enough to you to influence your emotions. To do that takes trust. You need to ask yourself if you're ready to trust Amy with your heart. If not, than I would advise you not to tell her how you're feeling just yet."

"Wait. Isn't the goal of life to be an honest person?" Dr. Fields chuckled.

"Yes, Ricky. Understand that I'm not advising you to lie to or deceive Amy. What I'm suggesting you do is figure out if you're truly willing to commit to a relationship with her and everything that comes with it. You told me that Amy is only willing to be in a relationship with you if you're willing to be monogamous with her. You also need to hear and understand me when I tell you that there's more to a good, healthy relationship than sex, Ricky. Based on what you've told me today and your body language there's no doubt in my mind that you are head over heels in love with Amy Juergens. All I'm suggesting you do is spend some time thinking about what it will mean to be in a relationship with Amy. The two of you know each other a little better now, you understand her a little better for having walked in her shoes, and don't forget that regardless of what the two of you choose to do in your lives, your son is going to be affected in some way."

"That's all well and good but it does absolutely nothing to keep me from going crazy."

"What exactly is making you feel crazy, Ricky?" Ricky sighed and crossed his arms, his brow knitting together in frustration.

"There just aren't enough hours in the day for us to be together. We have work and then by the time Amy gets home her first priority is to get John fed and put to bed. That means there's only a couple of hours that we can talk before we both have to get to bed as well. We're only together for a couple of hours on Wednesdays because she's gotta get home and to bed for work in the morning. We're only together for a couple of hours on Saturdays because I work in the morning and we don't hang out until after John wakes up from his afternoon nap plus she has to be home in time to eat dinner with her family. And because she doesn't wanna interfere with my quality time with John I don't see her on Sundays until she picks him up."

"Alright. If you could suggest to Amy a way that the two of you could possibly spend more time together what would you suggest?"

"That she and John move in with me." Ricky's eyes widened in shock and surprise as he realized what he'd just said. _Did I really just say that!?_ The same surprise was written all over Dr. Fields' face.

"That's a huge step to take in a relationship, Ricky, and you just told me that you and Amy aren't even dating yet."

"I can't believe I said that," Ricky said, more to himself than Dr. Fields. "Huh." Ironically the more Ricky replayed those words in his head the more certain he was that that was what he wanted to do.

"Ricky, why would you suggest that Amy and John move in with you?" Ricky smiled to himself, not having heard the question. He was too preoccupied thinking about just how perfect of a solution his suggestion was and imagining what it would be like to finally be able to spend all the time with Amy that he wanted. "Ricky?"

"Huh?"

"Did you hear what I asked you?"

"What?"

"Why would you suggest that Amy and John move in with you?"

"It's perfect!"

"How so?"

"We could have dinner together every night, well except when my parents invite her over, and since we'd be living together we wouldn't have to rush so she could get home and to bed at a decent hour; we could just hang out and talk, or watch a movie or something. She wouldn't be so stressed with me around to help take care of John whenever we're both home. Plus we'd get to spend even more time together as a family because of it. I'd always know what was going on with her because I'd be around her a lot more. I'm sure she'd be happy to move away from Adrian too. Moving in together is the perfect solution!" Ricky was grinning from ear to ear.

"Aren't you forgetting a few things?"

"Like what?" he asked, clueless as to what those things could possibly be. Dr. Fields put up his fingers as he began ticking off potential problems.

"One, she's underage so her parents would have to agree to it. Two, the two of you aren't romantically involved so Amy might feel uncomfortable being your roommate. Three, since you aren't romantically involved what will you do about sleeping arrangements in your current one-bedroom apartment. Four, if you move into a different apartment then you will have to worry about a monthly rent payment. Four, if the two of you choose to do this her parents may choose to no longer financially assist Amy so the two of you will be responsible for your own bills."

"Oh, those are just details. Once I explain how much better our living together is for us and John her parents will **have** to agree to let us do it."

"Don't be so sure, Ricky. I would suggest you slow down, take a deep breath, and figure out if you and Amy are anything more than friends before you rush into moving in with her. One step at a time."

"Oh, fine," Ricky said, his bubble now burst thanks to Dr. Fields' list of possible issues with his plan. Dr. Fields shook his head with amusement.

"Ricky, being in love with someone can make you feel a little crazy and want to do some crazy things. What you need to remember is to take a deep breath when you're feeling crazed and talk to the other person about what and how you're feeling. I know you have a hard time expressing your emotions; you've still got to try." Ricky nodded in understanding. Dr. Fields checked his watch. We have a little over ten minutes left. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about for a little while?" Ricky shrugged.

"Well, I've been trying to figure out some sort of romantic gesture to let Amy know I appreciate her and I'm sorry for taking her for granted for so long." Curiosity and surprise came over Dr. Fields' face as he and Ricky proceeded to discuss his idea of romance for the next ten minutes.


	29. Love Struck

Amy walked into Dr. Hightower's office and signed John in for his appointment. She set John down near the toys and quietly watched him play as she thought about how much easier her life seemed lately. In the month and a half since she'd been home she'd been meeting with Lauren and Madison every other Sunday to have lunch or just hang out. Since the three of them had agreed to reduce the drama in their lives they quit gossiping about their other friends and other people in general and simply talked about themselves, their lives, and their future goals and dreams; the three friends had never been closer than they were now. The Juergens family was also closer than they had been since Amy and Ashley were younger. With herself and her parents busy with work and life, dinner had become a great way for them all to keep in touch. They had progressed beyond just nightly dinners though. Some nights Anne, George, Amy and Ashley would watch a movie together after the boys were put to bed for the night or they'd play board games. Amy smiled to herself. Yes, she and Ashley may seem a little old to be playing board games with their parents but they actually had a lot of fun and it gave them all an excuse to act silly. Amy enjoyed these nights with her parents and sister because she felt like a normal teenager and not just a teen mom. On Sundays when Amy wasn't hanging out with her girlfriends or having lunch with Margaret they all ate a picnic lunch at the park or did something else as a family; Amy and Ashley both enjoyed getting to spend some quality time with their little brother on these occasions.

Amy had also spent some time talking on the phone with Grace and once in a while Grace came over and they just hung out in Amy's room and talked. Grace was on her way to becoming a close friend but it was still going to take some time. Amy giggled as John squealed with delight while putting little colored balls fall down a spiral shoot and watching them shoot out the bottom. He smirked when the balls came out. _Just like his daddy_ Amy thought and her thoughts traveled to her relationship with Ricky. They had gotten really close in a short amount of time. They talked, **a lot**, at their weekly dinners and during their outings with John. Amy now knew more about Ricky than just pieces of information. She had learned to read his body language and decipher his different tones of voice. She had a better understanding of how his mind worked and could read his emotions more easily as well. And she knew he could do the same for her and that didn't bother her. They had quickly reached a point where they were such good friends they could finish each other's sentences and tell what the other was thinking more often than not. Amy couldn't help but laugh at the situation, causing John to look in her direction before returning his focus back to his little colored balls, thinking that his mommy was just making noises for no reason. Just a month and a half ago she had plans to become Ricky Underwood's friend and now he was one of her best friends. _How did that happen so __**quickly**_ she wondered as the nurse called her and John's names. Amy scooped up her son and followed the nurse into one of the exam rooms. She set John on the examining table and removed his shoes. Dr. Hightower walked in a few moments later.

"Hello, Amy. Hello, John," she greeted each of them in turn. John smiled back.

"Hi, Dr. Hightower."

"And how's this little guy doing today?"

"Happy and full of energy as usual," Amy told her with a smile.

"Well let's see how much you've grown big guy," she said to John and put him on a scale to check his weight. Once she wrote it down she proceeded to perform the rest of John's annual checkup; John squirmed a little as she checked his ears because he was a little ticklish. "Well, John's developing just fine, Amy. In fact, this little guys off the charts in terms of height and reflexes. He's gonna be a tall, athletic young man someday," she told Amy while tickling John's belly, causing him to laugh. Dr. Hightower looked at her records and then turned to Amy. "He needs a booster shot and then he's all set for another year." Amy nodded as Dr. Hightower typed some notes into a computer. Amy and John waved goodbye and headed to the immunization area. Everything was fine until John felt a cool sensation on his arm. He squirmed, trying to see what it was but Amy, knowing it was best to keep John distracted, had turned his head and held it firmly against her chest before the nurse began cleaning his arm for the needle. Amy waited until the nurse had put a Band-Aid on John's arm before she let go of his head. A crisis averted, Amy made her way out to the parking lot to head back to work.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully and then it was time to go home and have dinner with the fam. Tonight's dinner was salad, chicken cordon blue, broccoli with cheese, and garlic bread. The boys got baked chicken since neither of them really liked the taste of the cordon blue filling yet. After another pleasant meal and the family working together to clean the table and clean up the dishes, the boys were put to bed and everyone dispersed throughout the house. George and Ashley decided to watch TV for a while and Anne went to start a load of laundry; Amy went to take a shower. As she showered Amy continued thinking about how much simpler her life seemed to be now that she'd decided to keep the drama in her life low. At the moment the only 'drama' she had was her and Lauren's joint efforts to occasionally console Madison when she felt like pouting that her dad still didn't like Jack as much as she wanted him too. Amy shook her head in amusement at her best friend. _You gotta give her an 'A' for perseverance_. Amy finished her shower, dried off, and made her way to her bedroom to get dressed. She was sitting on her bed combing out her hair when her phone buzzed. Her stomach was instantly filled with butterflies and an ear-to-ear grin came over her face when she saw that Ricky was calling.

"Hey, Ricky," she said cheerfully. Ricky could hear her happiness and laughed.

"Hey, Amy. So I take it you had a good day?" he asked her amusedly. She giggled.

"It was okay; nothing too exciting. What about you?"

"Same here. So how'd John's checkup go?"

"Good. Our little man's got a clean bill of health and Dr. Hightower predicts he's gonna be tall and athletic if his height and reflexes keep progressing like they are."

"He gets that from his daddy," Ricky said proudly, causing Amy to laugh.

"Yes, he does."

"So I was thinking we could take John to the beach on Saturday. What do you think?"

"Sounds good. Are you sure it won't be too chilly that late in the afternoon though?"

"That's something I wanted to run by you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Why don't we take John **before** his nap for a couple of hours, to tire the little guy out, and then we just hang out at my place and talk or watch a movie or something while he naps?" Ricky held his breath, hoping against hope Amy would say yes.

"Sure. That sounds like fun. What time should I meet you at your apartment?"

"How about I pick up John from my mom's then come by and get you, say around 12:30?"

"Okay. I'll be ready." Ricky inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and tried to keep his excitement from coming across in his voice.

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Amy."

"Okay. Night Ricky." After ending the call Amy flopped down on her bed with a stupid grin on her face. _What's the matter with me? We've been talking on the phone for almost two years now and I see him several times a week. Why do I suddenly feel all giggly when he calls me? And why do I feel so happy just knowing I'm going to see him tomorrow?_ Amy shook her head and finished getting ready for bed. She climbed under her covers and drifted off to sleep thinking about Ricky.

"_Ricky!" Amy called up the stairs. "You're gonna be late for work if you don't get down here soon." She placed a ham and cheese omelet on a plate for him and added a serving of hash browns. She carried his plate and hers to the kitchen table before walking to the kitchen island and retrieving their glasses of apple juice. John was already seated and was halfway through his breakfast when Ricky came practically running down the stairs._

"_Sorry, sweetie. I couldn't find my phone," Ricky explains, setting his phone on the counter. "Turns out it fell off the nightstand sometime last night and bounced under the bed." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down to eat his breakfast._

"_Daddy, canbego foo da perk?" John asked around a mouthful of food._

"_It's rude to talk with your mouth full, John," Amy slightly scolded him, taking a bite of her omelet. John swallowed and tried again._

"_Can we go to the park today after you get off work?" Ricky looked at Amy and she nodded._

"_Sure, buddy," Ricky assured his son. He finished his breakfast and put his plate in the sink. He grabbed his keys off the hook by the back door and his phone off the counter. He walked back over to John and gave him a kiss on the top of his head before turning to Amy and leaning down to kiss her on the lips. She kissed him back with a smile. "Have a good day, sweetie. I love you."_

"_I love you too, Ricky. Have a good day at work." Ricky smiled and headed out the door to the butcher shop, Amy's words still repeating in his mind. _I love you too, Ricky_._

Ricky opened his eyes and realized he'd been dreaming again but for once he smiled as he remembered it. This time he was with Amy and they were both happy; happy and in love with each other. Across town Amy had opened her eyes and realized she'd been dreaming too and smiled in the darkness, the words she and her dream Ricky had exchanged still floating in her mind. _I love you_ he had said. _I love you too, Ricky_ she had said. Suddenly realization hit Amy like a ton of bricks. She turned onto her stomach and squealed into her pillow. _I'm in love with Ricky Underwood!_ The two teenagers both drifted back to sleep with smiles on their faces and happiness in their hearts, completely unaware that they had both just had the exact same dream.


	30. Delightful Dinner

The day was like any other Wednesday for Amy and Ricky and they both spent it looking forward to their weekly dinner that evening. Ricky was putting the finishing touches on their dinner when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it and smiled when he saw his two favorite people in the whole world. They felt the same because they both greeted him with a smile.

"Hey."

"Hey," Amy responded, setting John down to let him walk over to his toy bin. Ricky finished getting their dinner ready while Amy set the table, keeping an eye on John.

"So how was your day?" Ricky asked.

"Pretty typical. You?"

"Same," he said before slicing the meatloaf and cutting a piece into bite sized chucks for John. Amy walked over to the counter and picked up the serving platter with the meatloaf on it and carried it to the table. "What's new with your family?" he asked, spooning a serving of mixed vegetables onto John's plate before putting the rest into a serving bowl.

"Robbie and John have been bickering lately."

"Oh?" Amy chuckled.

"Yeah. Robbie's new favorite word is 'mine' and John's new favorite phrase is 'uh uh'." Ricky chuckled. "We've just been making sure to only have one of them out of their playpen at a time when they're in the same room so they don't bicker over toys." Ricky carried over the mixed vegetable bowl and John's plate as Amy put him into his high chair. They silently sat down and served themselves.

"So anything else going on besides the battling tots?" he asked, taking a bite of his meatloaf.

"My parents have been getting along a lot better. In fact, they've started having date night once a week while Ash and I keep an eye on Robbie." Amy took a bite of mixed vegetables and washed it down with some grape juice.

"Are you guys still having family dinners though?" Amy nodded.

"We're all getting along so much better now and we've gotten closer so mom and dad decided to basically let us have weekends off. She and dad have their date night on Saturdays but she always fixes dinner for us anyway and we just heat it up come dinner time." Amy chuckled and Ricky gave her a questioning look. "It's turned out that we have family dinners during the week and a 'siblings only' dinner on Saturdays. It's kinda nice." Amy took a bite of her meatloaf and glanced over at John to make sure he was eating his dinner and not just playing with it. "So what's new with your family?" Ricky took a drink of water to wash down his meatloaf before answering.

"Mom's decided to repaint the living room so she and dad are gonna be working on that the rest of this week. Don't worry. She said it'll be done and dried before I drop John off on Saturday." Amy had food in her mouth so she just nodded to say 'okay'. They continued eating quietly for several minutes, the only sounds coming from their silverware. Ricky kept glancing at Amy though. He was thinking about his latest dream about her and what he'd discussed with Dr. Fields. He'd spent the rest of that day and all day today thinking about their discussion and he was ready to commit to a relationship with Amy. He hadn't slept with anyone since Amy got back from New York because he hadn't wanted to; he just wanted to spend time with her. Ricky put another slice of meatloaf on his plate as he prayed Amy would say yes to his next question.

"Amy?" She looked up from her plate just as she was swallowing a bite of food.

"Hmmm?"

"Would you have dinner with me this Saturday night?" Amy gave him a quizzical look, not sure if she'd heard him correctly.

"I guess. I'd just have to let Ash know I won't be eating with her. What's the occasion?" she asked, genuinely curious. Ricky smiled, happy she'd said yes but not ready to come out and tell her the real reason he wanted to have dinner with her. He'd already talked to his mom and she agreed to watch John so Ricky could take Amy out to dinner.

"When you were in New York I realized just how much I'd taken you for granted." Amy nodded for him to continue. "So I decided I wanted to do something for you to say I realized what a jerk I'd been and I was truly sorry, and I've finally figured out the perfect place to take you to dinner." Amy was touched at his words and smiled at him.

"Ricky, I know you're sorry for your past behavior towards me. You don't have to take me anywhere."

"I know but I want to. So, dinner Saturday?"

"Sure. What time?"

"I'll pick you up at 7:30."

"Wait, if we have dinner that late it'll be past John's bedtime when we get back," Amy said a little worriedly. Ricky smiled at her to reassure her.

"My mom's gonna watch John. I took her up on her offer to keep John overnight so we can just relax and have a good time."

"Oh, ok." Ricky took another bite of his meatloaf as Amy placed a second helping on her own plate.

"So how are things with the girlfriends?"

"Good. We're closer now than we ever have been," she told him with a smile. Ricky smiled back.

"And what about things with Grace?"

"They're going good. We're becoming good friends but I feel it's gonna take a little more time before I consider her a really close friend," she told him honestly. He nodded in understanding.

"School starts in a couple of weeks. You excited?" Amy shrugged and stared down at her plate.

"A little. It's been nice talking to friends and acquaintances on and off all summer. I just hope the drama stays low once school starts up again and we're seeing each other five days a week. Not to mention our school's got a reputation for spreading gossip and there's no telling how people are going to treat us once we're back at school since they don't know how much we've all been trying to change this summer." She sighed and took a drink from her glass. She looked so worried and sad that Ricky couldn't help himself. He reached across the table and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze which caused her to raise her eyes and look at him. He gave her a small smile.

"It'll be fine. Even if the rest of our classmates haven't changed for the better this summer, we have. If we just focus on our own lives and don't give 'em anything to talk about, there shouldn't be a whole lot of drama." Amy nodded but Ricky could tell she still wasn't convinced this school year would be better than the last. He decided to try and convince her anyway. "Besides, you've got friends, and acquaintances, you know you can trust in your corner who'll have your back should any rumors or gossip about you start spreading around." His last statement made Amy feel a little better and she smiled. _We have matured quite a bit this summer I guess_ she thought to herself.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem," he told her with a smile, getting up from the table to get the angel fruitcake they were having for dessert.

"So what about you? It's your Senior year. Are you excited?" Amy asked, also rising from the table to carry the remnants of their dinner to the counter to be put away. Ricky shrugged.

"It'll be nice to finally be done with school. But other than that it's just another year."

"Are you **sure** you don't wanna go to college?" she pressed, putting the last few slices of meatloaf and a few scoops of vegetables into one container.

"I don't see the point," he said without looking at her, cutting the cake and putting slices on small saucers.

"Ricky! It's college. A time to try new things and figure out what you wanna do for the rest of your life!" she told him with exasperation as she placed the Tupperware container in the fridge and walked backed to the table with him, carrying a smaller piece of cake on a small plastic plate to place on John's high chair tray. Ricky rolled his eyes as he sat down.

"Amy, what's the point? I have a job I love and without school I can work longer hours and make more money. "Besides," he added, taking a bite of his piece of cake. "College just seems like a more complicated form of high school and I think I've been in school long enough." Amy gave him an irritated look.

"Oh please, Ricky. So what if it's more complicated. It's not like you can't do it if you put your mind to it. You just gotta have a little more faith in yourself, that's all." She took a bite of her cake and looked up to see Ricky giving her a quizzical look. "What?"

"Why are you pushing this?" he asked with curiosity. Amy looked at him confused, as though the answer should be obvious.

"Because you're selling yourself short by not even trying." He continued to stare at her quizzically. "What? I know you can do it but apparently you don't," she replied, taking another bite of her cake. Ricky was surprised at her admission.

"You really believe in me that much?" Hurt flashed in Amy's eyes at his question and Ricky was slightly alarmed when he saw it, not sure what he'd just said that hurt her feelings. "What?" he asked, the alarm evident in his voice.

"We're friends," she said simply, hurt still in her voice. "Of **course** I believe in you." She stared down at her plate and finished eating her cake in silence, not looking back at Ricky for several minutes.

"Amy, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She wouldn't look at him. "Amy, what did I say wrong?" Still she refused to look at him and continued quietly eating her cake. "Amy, will you look at me, please," he pleaded. She slowly looked up, sadness replacing the hurt in her eyes. "Please tell me what I did wrong just now?" Amy sighed. Apparently he wasn't going to let this go.

"We've gotten to know each other really well and gotten very close so far this summer, Ricky. And I **thought** we'd grown close enough that we were now good friends, possibly even best friends. At least, that's how I think of you." She shrugged, looking down at her plate again. "Guess we're not as close as I thought we were if you had to ask your friend if she believed in you." Ricky wanted to kick himself. He quickly reached for her hand that was resting on the table.

"Of course I think of you as my best friend, Amy. I just didn't know you felt the same and I didn't wanna say anything 'til I saw a sign that you considered me an actual friend yet." Amy looked up at him and chuckled.

"Ricky, we've been finishing each other's sentences, communicating nonverbally, gotten pretty good at predicting what the other is thinking and we've learned to read each other's body language. All those things plus the fact we talk about anything and everything openly should've been clear signs that we've somehow managed to become best friends over the past month and a half." Ricky lowered his head and chuckled.

"Yeah. It's just that I really like spending time with you and talking to you, Amy, and I didn't wanna make any assumptions about our relationship and risk losing that." Amy was about to comment on his use of the work 'relationship' when John chose that moment to speak up.

"Done!" he cheered, raising his arms and smiling, apparently proud of himself for eating all of his cake. Amy and Ricky laughed as they got up from the table to clean up. Ricky carried their dishes to the sink while Amy got a wet paper towel to wipe off John's hands and face. Once the table was cleared and wiped down and John was cleaned up, Ricky came over to Amy as she placed John on the floor to play for a moment while she retrieved her and John's jackets and her purse.

"So are we good?" Ricky asked, helping her into her jacket. Amy lifted her hair out of the neck of her coat and turned around to face him with a smile.

"We're good," she told him while pulling her purse strap onto her shoulder. She walked over to John's toy bin and picked him up.

"So I'll call or text you Saturday when I'm leaving my mom's and heading your way," he told her as he walked her to the door and opened it for her.

"Sounds good." She turned to face him. "Goodnight, Ricky. Thanks for dinner," she said with a smile. He smiled back.

"Anytime. Text me when you get home?" She nodded. He placed a kiss on John's forehead and then Amy left to head down the stairs. Ricky closed the door with a sigh and a smile on his face. _It shouldn't be too hard to make the leap from best friends to dating, right?_ Amy made the short drive back home and quickly got John ready for bed, sending Ricky a quick text to say she was home before reading him a bedtime story. Even though he'd had a small piece of cake a full tummy made him sleepy and he nodded off before Amy finished the story. She walked him from her room to the nursery and placed him in his crib. She gave Robbie, who was already sound asleep, a kiss on the forehead before she walked out of the nursery and quietly closed the door behind her. Ashley was just coming out of the bathroom as she did so.

"Hey," Ashley said quietly so as not to wake the boys.

"Hey," Amy replied, also quietly. The sisters waited until they were closer to Amy's bedroom before speaking again.

"So how was dinner?"

"Good," Amy told her, walking into her bedroom and leaving the door open, signaling Ashley could follow her inside to continue their conversation. Amy plopped down on the edge of her bed and Ashley did likewise. "As of tonight Ricky and I've agreed that we've progressed from friends to best friends," she told her sister with a smile. Ashley smiled back, an amused look in her eyes.

"So…think you guys will progress to boyfriend girlfriend anytime soon?" Amy actually blushed. Ashley's smile got even bigger when she saw this. "Spill." Amy sighed and looked at the ceiling for a few moments looking for the right words. Ashley cleared her throat to let her sister know she was waiting for a response.

"Well…somewhere along the way I fell in love with him and I don't know what to do about it," she sadly admitted, shifting her gaze to stare at her bedspread.

"What do you mean?" Ashley asked, getting more comfortable on Amy's bed.

"I mean we've only been hanging out and talking for a month and a half, Ash. A month and a half! In that short amount of time somehow we've learned to read each other and communicate nonverbally and then…" she paused, looking for the right words. "Well, it hit me last night," she said with a giggle. Ashley gave Amy a surprised look and shifted her position so Amy would know she had her undivided attention, and curiosity. Amy laughed at her sister's sudden enthusiasm about her conundrum.

"For about a week now every time I see his name on my caller ID I get butterflies in my stomach and I instantly feel insanely happy and giggly."

"Uh oh," George said from Amy's bedroom doorway, startling both girls and making them jump a little as they turned their attention to their father, who had apparently materialized out of thin air. He had a smile on his face but Amy could see a hint of concern in his eyes. "Who's the lucky guy making my Ames all happy and giggly?" he asked, walking into the room and leaning on the end of her bedframe. Amy shared a look with Ashley who just shrugged her shoulders, nonverbally saying 'might as well tell him'. Amy looked back at her father.

"Ricky," she admitted and couldn't help but giggle again as she watched shock spread across her father's face and render him momentarily speechless. He quickly composed himself and cleared his throat.

"So are you two like, dating now or something?" he asked nervously. Amy smiled at her father's obvious discomfort and shook her head.

"I only realized I was in love with him last night after he called me to talk for a bit."

"I see. So are the two of you thinking about dating at some point?" Amy shrugged.

"I don't know, dad. I haven't told Ricky that now I'm in love with him too and when I got back from new York I made myself a promise that I'd put love and romance on hold and strictly focus on John for a while, a **long** while. I hadn't planned on falling in love with **anybody** any time soon." George chuckled and Amy raised an eyebrow in question. George walked over to the bed to join the girls and Ashley scooted over to make room for him.

"Ames, you can't control who you fall in love with and when it happens. If you're in love with him **not** dating him's only gonna make you unhappy, and possibly strain your current relationship with him. So there's two questions you need to ask yourself here."

"What?"

"Number one: why did you decide to take a break from romance. Number two: will you honestly be content just spending time with Ricky and not dating him." Amy and Ashley both looked at him confused, not sure how answering those questions would help Amy decide what to do. Seeing their expressions George explained. "Ames, if you're taking a break from romance because you're afraid of getting hurt again, then no one will ever be able to love you." Amy looked shocked and hurt at his words and her face said so. George reached for one of her hands and gave it a small squeeze. "Ames, if you're barricading your heart then when someone comes along who's in love with you, they'll never be able to get close enough to show you that love because you won't let them. And I'm speaking from experience." He laughed when he noticed the girls' surprised expressions at this admission.

"After Kathleen cheated on me I decided I didn't wanna date anyone seriously for a while; I'd just keep it casual. I had a couple of girlfriends before I started dating your mother and those relationship's didn't last long because I kept the girls in question at arm's length, emotionally anyway. When I started seeing your mom I realized I was in love with her but she'd never love me the same way if I didn't let her in, you know? And even when I did I didn't let her in all the way. That contributed to our communication problem." Realization, and a little bit of awe, washed over their faces. "As for question two, Ames, when you're in love with someone and they don't feel the same it just sucks. But…it sucks worse if you never tell that person how you feel so you can find out if they feel the same way or not. If they do, then the two of you can move forward in your relationship. If not, then at least you're not stuck wondering and you can move on if just being their friend is too painful for you." Amy quietly processed her father's words for a few moments and then smiled. She reached over and hugged him and he hugged her back, even though he didn't know what the hug was for.

"Thanks, dad."

"No problem, kiddo."

"When did you get so good at emotional conversation," Ashley asked her father, causing him to chuckle.

"I was pretty bad at them before wasn't I?" Both girls nodded. "Back then I believed that my job as the dad was to provide for you girls and keep the creeps away from you. It turns out because I acted like that I didn't know you two as well as I should've. This summer I've learned how my girls think and why they do some of the things they do and I've also figured out, a little late in the game, that sometimes telling you girls about my mistakes and admitting I'm just as human as you are can be better for you than a lecture or playing twenty questions to find out what's going on."

"I'm glad we're talking more, dad," Amy told him.

"Me too," Ashley agreed.

"Happy to help," George said with a smile. He kissed each of his girls on the head and told them goodnight. After he entered his own bedroom Amy and Ashley shared a smile; they were both very proud of their dad at that moment.

"Oh, I wanted to tell you. I'll be having dinner with Ricky this Saturday instead of with you and Robbie."

"Oh? Is it some kind of special occasion?" Amy chuckled and shook her head.

"I asked him the same thing when he asked me. Turns out he felt so bad for taking me for granted while he was walking in my shoes that he decided to do something nice for me when I got back from New York to apologize for it. He said he'd finally found the perfect place to take me out to dinner." Ashley smiled, amusement returning to her eyes.

"Awwww, Ricky's got a soft spot for you." Amy giggled.

"No he doesn't! He just wants to do something nice for me."

"So is it like a date date?"

"No, we're just gonna have dinner together as friends twice this week instead of once."

"Even though you **wanna** date him?" Amy licked her suddenly dry lips.

"I do, Ash. But I don't know if he feels anything for me beyond friendship. I mean, he hasn't tried to make a move on me or anything and I don't wanna spook him and ruin what we've been working on all summer."

"There's only one way to find out you know. You gotta tell him." Amy nodded and then a thought occurred to her.

"Ash, is it going to make you uncomfortable if I do start dating Ricky?" Ashley gave her sister a reassuring smile.

"No, I'm over him. It's like dad said. If you find out the person you like doesn't feel the same way then you move on. I'm good, Amy. If it's what you want then go for it." With one last shared smile the sisters bid each other goodnight and Amy followed Ashley to her bedroom door, closing it after Ashley headed downstairs to her room. _Guess now all I've gotta figure out is how to bring up the suggestion we start dating_ she thought as she crawled under the covers and turned off the lamp on her nightstand.


	31. Mommy To Be

Adrian and Ben walked out of the doctor's office silently, each lost in their own thoughts. Her doctor said she was progressing through her second trimester right on schedule and her baby was developing normally. As Adrian ran a hand over her baby bump, her thoughts remained centered on Amy. _I know my pregnancy's not like Amy's 'cuz Ben's been by my side the whole time but what happens after I have my baby. I mean, how hard __**was**__ it to come back to school? What's it __**actually**__ like taking care of a baby? Even if I asked her to tell me about it __**would**__ she or does she still secretly hate me?_

"Adrian." She snapped out of it and turned to find a very worried Ben staring at her.

"Huh?"

"I asked you if everything's okay." She nodded, not sure why he looked so alarmed.

"Yeah. Why?"

"You've been staring at the ground rubbing your stomach ever since we left the doctor's office. Are you sure everything's okay? You're not in pain or anything are you?" alarm still evident in his voice. Adrian gave him a smile.

"I'm fine, Ben. I was just lost in thought thinking about what it's gonna be like once our baby actually gets here, with school and everything." He nodded in understanding, his nervousness evaporating. It was replaced by mild tension at her next words.

"I still wanna talk to Amy though." They had reached Ben's car and he opened the door for her, shutting it once she was situated and then walking over the driver's side. He backed out of the parking stall and pulled out onto the street before speaking again.

"What do you wanna talk to Amy about?" Adrian rolled her eyes and gave Ben a 'did you really just ask me that' look. He glanced at her before turning his attention back to the road. "Adrian, if you're worried about what it's like to be a teenage mother you can always talk to your mom. You told me she had you when she was sixteen, right?" Adrian nodded and then was quiet for several moments before all her questions started tumbling out in a ramble.

"It's not the same though, Ben! I mean, my grandparents kept her shut away because they were ashamed of her; they only helped her take care of me when they had to, and she had a job that took her away a lot for long periods of time. I wanna know what it's like to get up every morning and take care of your baby and then leave him or her at daycare to go to school. What's it like trying to do your homework while taking care of a baby? I know you'll be there helping me but you won't be around **all** the time. Sure my dad will be around to help me when he gets off work but there's gonna be times I'll be home alone with him or her. What then!? And how do two people who don't live together take care of a baby together? You've got a job but I don't. I'm gonna have to get one and **then** what will my days be like?" she started to tear up as her questions and worries overwhelmed her. "I need to talk to her but I can't!" Ben's heart went out to her. Adrian told him about the lecture her mother gave her and knew Adrian wasn't allowed to contact Amy in any way. He had an idea to help her but he'd need some help. All he could do for now was try to console her. He reached over and took her hand in his.

"I don't have answers to those questions, Adrian. All I know is we'll figure it out together and do our best." He gave her a smile, which she returned. He dropped her back off at her house before returning to work. Once he was clocked back in he went in search of Ricky. Ben found him flattening boxes by the loading dock.

"Need any help?" Ricky looked up at the sound of Ben's voice.

"Sure." Ben grabbed a box cuter and started helping him. After he'd cut and flattened two boxes he looked around to make sure Bunny wasn't within ear shot.

"I need your help."

"With?"

"Getting Amy and Adrian together so they can talk." Ricky arched an eyebrow in surprise that Ben had actually just asked him to get the mother of his son together for a gab session with his ex-girlfriend. At Ricky's skeptical look Ben quickly explained the problem. "It's like this. Adrian's getting really worried about what it's like to be a teen mom while working and going to school because her situation isn't like her mother's. She wants to talk to Amy about it but her mom forbid her to contact Amy in anyway. I won't tell you why exactly but given their history I'm sure you can work that out for yourself." Ricky didn't say anything, correctly assuming that Adrian's parents found out what types of things she'd said to Amy in the past. "Anyway, do you think you could talk Amy into meeting you at your apartment Saturday morning? Adrian and I can come over early and be there when she arrives and then they can talk while we're at work and we'll be downstairs in case things get too heated." Ricky shook his head, immediately refusing to go along with the scheme, and Ben's heart sank. He opened his mouth to continue pleading his case but Ricky cut him off.

"I'm not gonna trick Amy into coming over to my apartment or lie to her just to help you out. I'll talk to Amy and **ask** her if she's willing to talk to Adrian. That's the best I can do." Ben nodded, deciding to take what he could get. They finished their shifts and clocked out.

"Text me when you have her answer," Ben said on his way out the door. Ricky nodded and headed upstairs to his apartment. _I'd rather go ahead and get this over with_. He sat on the couch and speed dialed Amy's cell. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Ricky. What's up?" she said cheerfully, making him smile. The smile slowly vanished as he took a deep breath.

"I wanna run something by you." He heard a car door slam and hoped what he asked her next wouldn't upset her too much to be able to drive safely.

"Oh?"

"So Ben came up to me at work this afternoon and asked me for a favor."

"Alright..."

"Adrian wants to talk to you about what it's like to be a working, teen mom still in high school but her mom forbid her to contact you." Amy was surprised at this little piece of information but didn't respond to it, instead focusing on why Ricky would be telling her that.

"And you're telling me this because…"

"Ben wants to know if you'd be willing to talk to Adrian Saturday morning."

"Okay. It's been a long time coming anyway. Hopefully talking about motherhood will take some of the awkwardness out of it. But we can't talk at my house and I'd really rather not talk at hers either. I'm willing to meet her at the park near the youth center though. Did Ben say what time?"

"No, he just said the morning. I'll text him and ask and then text you back."

"Okay."

"Talk to you in a bit, Amy." He ended the call and sent Ben a text: _She'll do it the prk near the youth cntr. What time?_

Ben had obviously been waiting by his phone because he responded immediately: _K. Let me call Adrian & ask_

Ricky started fixing his dinner while he waited for Ben's response. Ben quickly called Adrian.

"Hey, Ben. What's up?"

"Okay, so I wanted to find a way for you to talk to Amy and I did."

"Ben…"

"Hear me out," he said, and continued in a bit of a rush so Adrian wouldn't interrupt him. "I talked to Ricky about it and he said he'd ask Amy if she would talk to you, and she said she would. She'll meet you Saturday morning at that park near the youth center but she wants to know what time you wanna meet." Adrian was momentarily surprised at the news but her hormones quickly caused her to cry at Ben's sweet gesture of trying to help her.

"Well the sooner the better so I'd say about 9:00 at the earliest? 11:00 at the latest?"

"Okay. Let me text Ricky with those times and I'll text you back with the time Amy picks."

"Okay. And Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." He ended the call and sent a text to Ricky. He had just sat down at the table to eat his dinner when his phone buzzed. He quickly read Ben's message: _She said 9 the earliest, 11 latest_

Ricky sent a text to Amy to see which time worked best for her. She sent him back a reply several minutes later: _9's ok_

He sent a text back to Ben: _Amy said 9's ok_

Ben quickly sent a text to Adrian: _Amy said 9_

She sent him a reply: _Ok. See her 9_ Adrian dropped her phone onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. It was gonna be a long couple of days but she was relieved that she was finally going to talk to Amy. Part of her was nervous, wondering what from their past relationship as frienemies Amy would bring up, but as long as Adrian got to ask her questions about motherhood she was willing to take anything Amy wanted to dish out.


	32. Frienemies No More?

Adrian was on pins and needles as she sat on a bench in the shade at the park and waited for Amy. She had been too anxious to sleep much last night and she found herself driving to the park and locating a comfortable spot to sit much earlier than 9:00. She sat there replaying in her head the conversation she'd had with Ricky, what she'd overheard her dad tell her mom and what her mom had lectured her about. Adrian had never been a religious person but she'd been praying most of the day yesterday begging God to let Amy forgive her quickly so they could get around to talking about teen motherhood. While Adrian was at the park Amy was just about to head out the door. She didn't know how long she and Adrian would be talking but since it was supposed to be a little warm today Amy filled her water bottle and took it with her as she headed out the door. Amy made the short drive to the park and found a place to park. She glanced around the park and walked over to Adrian once she spotted her sitting on a bench. Adrian looked up when she noticed Amy out of the corner of her eye and her palms started to get a little sweaty. Amy took a seat and the two girls stared at each other for a moment, Adrian with a mixture of fear and nervousness in her eyes while Amy's face was perfectly calm. Adrian broke the silence.

"Hi, Amy."

"Hi, Adrian." Adrian had been imagining how this conversation would go on and off yesterday and she decided she wanted to jumpstart their conversation by apologizing, hoping it would help her get to the point where she could ask Amy her questions that much sooner. Adrian licked her suddenly dry lips and cleared her suddenly dry throat.

"Before we start I just wanna say I know I was a mean, jealous, selfish bitch and you have every right to hate me for as long as you want. I overheard my dad telling my mom that you'd talked to him about me and my mom lit into me pretty good after she heard what you'd told him. I also talked to Ricky about our messed up relationship and I know I didn't handle your having his baby right at all. So even though you don't have to, could you just go ahead and yell at me or whatever so we can move on to my questions?" She waited hesitantly for Amy's response and hoped the absence of anger in Amy's face was a good sign.

"Adrian, I don't hate you. I just don't like you." Adrian was surprised to hear that Amy didn't hate her but had no problem believing Amy didn't like her.

"Um….so are we gonna go over everything or what?" Adrian asked, not sure which direction to take the conversation next. Amy shook her head.

"If you overheard your dad talking about my conversation with him than you already know what things you did and said back then that really upset me. I talked to Ricky and understand that a lot of the things you did to me were motivated by jealousy. I still don't understand why, I just get that jealousy can make you do hurtful and stupid things. I'm not here to rehash all that, Adrian. I'm here because you said you wanted to ask me about being a teen mom."

"Well, yeah, but I kinda figured you wouldn't be willing to talk to me about it 'til after you yelled at me or told me off. I mean, you went and talked to my dad about what I'd done back then and, from what I got from the conversation I had with Ricky, you talked to him about it too so you obviously weren't over it all entirely," Adrian admitted honestly, with a hint of surprise in her voice at Amy's calm demeanor. Amy chuckled.

"Adrian, that program in New York helped me a lot. It gave me some perspective about life and being a teen mom. It gave me the confidence to speak up and stand up for myself and helped me reclaim my self-esteem. When I got back I decided it was time to get rid of the unnecessary drama in my life. The only way I was gonna be able to do that was to stop talking to friends who were actually my enemies and that meant going back to the beginning to figure out who I could actually trust. **That's** why I went to see your dad. I needed answers to some questions that only he could answer. It wasn't that I'm not over what happened back when I was pregnant and John was a baby; I just needed to go backwards to figure out how all the drama in my life started."

"So why didn't you come talk to me sooner?" Adrian asked, genuinely curious about why Amy had basically avoided her so far, especially since she knew she was responsible for a lot of that drama.

"I didn't need to." Her reply confused Adrian and her face said so.

"Why not?" Adrian asked, a little defensively, although she couldn't put her finger on just **why** she felt offended all of the sudden.

"Adrian, you have a destructive way of dealing with your emotions and you hurt me in the past because of it. I admit I didn't always help the tension between us because my low self-esteem caused me to let you push my buttons, and it was juvenile of me to stoop low enough to call you a slut just to try and push yours. I don't know what issues you need to deal with before you're willing to treat people better but since I have no intention of putting myself in a position where you can even **attempt** to try and hurt me again, I had no reason to talk to you."

"But what about that phone call you made to tell me we should be friends?"

"When I made that phone call I honestly meant every word. It was only after I went back to the beginning and thought everything through that I was able to see you never wanted to be my friend; you just wanted to keep tabs on me so you could keep tabs on Ricky. I've got no room in my life for frienemies, Adrian." Adrian couldn't argue with what Amy had just said because it was all true. She sighed and tucked a few strands of hair that were blowing in the gentle breeze behind her ear while Amy took a drink from her water bottle.

"Okay, but even if we're not friends right now would you tell me what it's like to be a teen mom anyway?" Adrian asked, her voice begging Amy to say yes.

"What do you wanna know?" Adrian breathed a sigh of relief.

"For starters, how hard is it to go to school then work, then take care of your baby?"

"Very." Adrian gave her a questioning look.

"That's it!? Just 'very'!?" Amy laughed at Adrian's disbelieving look.

"You weren't very specific, Adrian. It's hard to be a mom while going to school and having to go to work too," Amy said with a smile.

"Ok," Adrian said sarcastically. "Well, what's the hardest part?"

"You're gonna have to be more specific." Adrian let out a frustrated breath.

"Amy, you're really not helping me here." At her look of frustration Amy decided to throw Adrian a bone and level with her.

"Adrian, when you see your baby's face for the first time your heart's gonna fill like it's about to burst because you have so much love pouring out of it for your baby. You carried that little person inside you for nine months and then suddenly he or she's in your arms. You love them unconditionally and to pieces and because you do you're gonna be terrified. Terrified of screwing the kid up, of doing something wrong, and not being a good enough parent; you have to figure it out as you go. A few days after you give birth you gotta go home and somehow keep that little human being alive and happy until they're old enough to tell you when something's wrong or they want something. For me, I didn't wanna take John outa the house until I was sure he'd built up enough of an immune system to survive whatever germs the world threw at him, but I had to go to school and that meant leaving my baby with strangers all day. Granted working there allowed me to get to know those strangers and feel comfortable with them watching my son, but I also felt bad that I couldn't spend all day everyday with my baby because I had to go to school. Every morning that I drop him off at the nursery is hard for me, even now. And then after work I bring my son home and have to take care of him and still finish my homework and it's hard, even when your child's father is around at night to help you. And you're not just tired, you're exhausted. John didn't sleep through the night until he was five and a half months old. That meant I was getting up every couple of hours to feed and change him and when you're not getting a good night's sleep but have to get up and go to school and then work, you're not the most pleasant person to get along with." Adrian chuckled.

"Yeah, you were pretty moody after John was born."

"Some of that was lack of sleep the rest was me being angry at myself for becoming a teenage mother."

"So what do you do to deal with the exhaustion?" Adrian asked, worry tainting her voice. Amy shrugged.

"I don't know what other new mom's do but I just did my best to nap when John did and start my homework during lunch or study hall so I could get to bed sooner. Of course those impromptu naps mighta helped."

"The what?" Amy gave a sad smile as she remembered John's infancy.

"Some nights I was so tired I actually fell asleep standing up in the shower; I'd wake up to find that the water was now ice cold. Sometimes I dozed off in the middle of getting dressed. I'd sit down for a minute and someone would wake me up a few minutes later so I could get to school. I even dozed off once during a date with Ben. When the lack of sleep catches up to you your body just has a mind of its own," she finished with a shrug. She looked at Adrian and saw worry and fear etched into her face so she decided to give the mother-to-be some reassurance. "Don't worry about it so much. All new moms deal with lack of sleep and once your baby starts sleeping through the night you'll recover just fine." Adrian gave Amy a look of gratitude for her attempt to soothe her fears and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"I'm so sorry, Amy," she said before hanging her head and staring down at the grass.

"For what?"

"I didn't know." Amy chuckled, causing Adrian to look at her with a questioning gaze.

"I heard that a lot as I talked to people at the beginning of the summer. So, what exactly didn't you know?"

"I didn't realize how tired you actually were. I mean, I know babies are hard work but if you were so tired you feel asleep upright in the shower than you really didn't need me and my jealousy stressing you out even more." Adrian suddenly began to tear up a little. Her next words came out in a teary rush. "And you had your parents and sister **and** Ricky around to help you and you were **still** stressed out and my mom's not gonna be there a lot because of her job and when Ben goes home at night it'll just be me and my dad! And I don't even know how well he is with babies 'cuz my stepbrothers weren't babies when he married their mom. I don't know how I'm gonna take care of a baby by myself!" Amy put her arm around Adrian's shoulders and gave her a hug.

"You just figure it out as you go, Adrian. You're not the first expectant mother to be afraid she can't take care of her baby by herself. You're also forgetting that you won't **be** by yourself. It's like you said; you'll have Ben and your dad to help you but you'll also have Ben's dad to help you and your mom will help as much as she can. Besides, you wanna know a secret?" Adrian quickly nodded her head. "Even though your parents may be disappointed in you for getting pregnant in high school, like mine were, your parents will shamelessly spoil their grandchild because they can't help it. When your parents are home they'll be happy to hold and play with their grandchild every chance they get." Amy and Adrian shared a smile and Amy gave her shoulders another reassuring squeeze. The smile slowly left Adrian's face as she wondered about something.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"How difficult is it to raise your child when you're not romantically involved with your baby's father?" Adrian wasn't sure if she was treading on a painful topic but she needed to know.

"It can be a challenge. But the only way it works is if the two of you talk to each other about issues as they come up." Adrian decided to try and push her luck.

"How did you and Ricky make it work, when I wasn't causing problems I mean?" Amy chuckled.

"What sorta worked for us may not work for you and Ben. The two of you will have to work that out for yourselves." That wasn't the response Adrian was hoping for; she wanted some specifics.

"Well, what kinda things did you two have to work out?" Amy had no intentions of discussing the inner workings of her co-parenting relationship with Ricky with anyone, let alone Adrian, but Amy could tell that she was just looking for answers.

"Well, you and Ben may wanna discuss whose house your baby will live at most of the time, how you're gonna split the cost of buying what your child needs, and whose last name your child will have for starters." Shock crossed Adrian's face as she realized she hadn't thought about any of those things. When she didn't say anything Amy continued. "There may be other issues or topics you and Ben need to discuss but I don't know what those might be because your and Ben's relationship is different from the way mine was with Ricky during my pregnancy. You'll just have to talk to him." Adrian nodded but remained quiet, lost in thought. Amy let her sort things out in her head for a moment as she took another drink from her water bottle.

"Amy?"

"Hmmm?"

"What's actually being a mom of a newborn like? I know there're a lot of diaper changes and stuff but what about all the stuff that's **not** in those baby books?" Amy gave Adrian a questioning look.

"Why are you asking me? Your mom could tell you what it's like." Adrian sighed.

"I know I just….I don't know, I'm curious, and nervous about it all, now that you've told me a little about what it's like."

"Adrian, I described what it was like for me being a working teen mom still in high school. Everything else, all that stuff's that not in the baby books, your mom can fill you in on. I **will** give you one piece of advice about motherhood though." Adrian looked at Amy expectantly, eager for any tips or tricks she could obtain. "Those baby books were written based on an average sampling of babies. No two babies are alike. What one book suggests might work for an issue might not actually work on your baby. So be prepared to have to try a few different things."

"Wait, what kinds of issues?" Adrian quickly asked, worry tainting her voice again.

"Teething, tummy aches, ear aches, diaper rash; all sorts of baby-related issues." Adrian exhaled the breath she didn't realize she was holding. When Amy said 'issues' Adrian's imagination conjured images of life-threatening issues. Diaper rash didn't sound so threatening. Adrian had the sudden desire to go back home and reread every baby book she'd picked up just to make sure she hadn't missed any tips, tricks, or just helpful information.

"Thanks, Amy. I know you didn't have to talk to me and I'm really glad you did."

"You're welcome." Adrian had one more question she wanted to ask Amy before she left.

"So do you think we'll ever be actual friends? Now that we've both gotten pregnant in high school?"

"Adrian, we won't even be acquaintances until you decide to stop hurting other people when you feel hurt or threatened. If you genuinely change your ways and make an effort to be nicer to people then, and only then, would I consider trying to be your friend. The only reason I came here today is because I know the fears and worries I had about being a teen mom and I know sharing part of my experiences with you could help ease those fears." Adrian decided she best not push her luck and just nodded in understanding. Adrian started to stand up and Amy helped her rise from the bench.

"Thanks again, Amy."

"You're welcome." The two young women went their separate ways, both a little lost in thought. _That went better than I expected_ Adrian thought as she climbed into her car. _I wish I could talk to her again if I have any more questions but at least I'm not as unprepared for this as I was this morning._ She looked down at her belly and rubbed it. _I'm not happy to know Amy thinks of me as an enemy though_ she thought with a frown as she put the key in the ignition and started her car. _Guess I'll just have to work on that._

_Even though Adrian's one of my enemies, I'm glad I was able to help ease her fears_ Amy thought as she climbed into her SUV. _When I was at the program I wished there'd been some kind of support group I could go to to talk about my own fears, worries and questions._ She started her vehicle. _From one teen mom to another I'm glad I could help but this is as far as it goes until she changes her ways for good_ Amy decided as she backed out of her parking stall and headed back home.


	33. Water Baby & August Rush

"If you don't calm down I'm gonna punch you," Ricky told Ben with irritation as he placed several basket orders in the waiting area of the cooler. Ben had been jumpy and nervous all morning and it was wearing on Ricky's last nerve.

"I can't help it," he whined as he placed several baskets down as well. "How do you think the talk between them is going?" Ricky rolled his eyes.

"How should I know!"

"Well, do you think it's going good or bad?" he pressed. Ricky glared at him as he walked out of the cooler to finish organizing the paperwork for the pickup.

"Ben, you know their past history and Adrian's attitude. Take a guess." Ben suddenly paled causing Ricky to look slightly alarmed.

"You don't think Amy would hit her do you?" Ricky rolled his eyes again and walked away. He had more important things to think about. He was spending the afternoon with Amy and John and then taking Amy out to dinner tonight. Tonight would make or break their relationship. The last thing he wanted to be focused on was his ex-girlfriend and he was immensely thankful when his shift ended. He showered and changed into beach gear in record time and drove to his mom's to pick up John. He'd already told her about his and Amy's plans so she had him dressed in little swimmers and sandals after his morning nap so he would already be dressed for the beach; she even put sunscreen on him before Ricky arrived. After he buckled John in his seat he sent Amy a text saying he was on his way. When he arrived at her house she came walking out the door just as he was driving up. She was wearing a yellow sundress, sandals, and a hat with a butterfly in it and she was carrying a beach bag. Ricky smiled, happy to be spending the afternoon with her. She climbed into the passenger seat and they were off.

Ricky parked and they headed down to the sand. Amy was carrying her beach bag and the one Ricky had prepared while he was carrying John. As it was John's first trip to the beach he was once again swiveling his head around trying to see everything at once, causing his parents to laugh. They settled on a spot close to the restrooms and Amy spread out the blanket Ricky had packed in his beach bag. They set John down to remove their shoes and outerwear but Amy had to stop after removing her sandals to chase John as he had decided to waddle away and chase a seagull. She scooped him up and walked back towards the blanket and had to force herself not to drool as she saw Ricky sitting on the blanket, shirtless, rubbing sunscreen on himself. Thankfully John was squirming to get down and explore and Amy was forced to focus on her toddler instead of his daddy for several moments. She sat down on the blanket with him in her lap and removed his shoes. She had just taken a tube of baby sunscreen out of her bag when Ricky's voice stopped her.

"Mom already put sunscreen on him before we came to get you." Amy nodded and dropped the tube back in her bag.

"So do we wanna walk on the beach for a bit first or play in the water first?" she asked.

"Let's play in the water first. It'll tire him out faster." Amy nodded in agreement and then sat John down on the blanket so she could stand up and remove her sundress. When she did Ricky's mouth fell open for several moments before two guys several feet away from her wolf whistled and Ricky turned his head to glare at them. Amy was wearing a yellow bikini that molded to her curves perfectly. The top was a solid piece with a little bow in the center, strictly for decoration, and the bottom had a gold ring at each side that rested on her hip. Ricky hadn't seen Amy in any state of undress since their night at band camp and she had **definitely** acquired a few curves in **all** the right places since then. Her stomach was also flat and toned. No one would ever guess that she'd been pregnant at one point; there wasn't a single stretch mark on her. John tried to waddle away again so Ricky scooped him up and sat him in between his legs, locking his ankles and raising his thighs to form a sort of playpen for him. Amy placed her sundress in her beach bag, unaware that the wolf whistles she'd heard had been directed at her or that Ricky was ogling her. She turned around and Ricky quickly diverted his eyes down to John so she wouldn't catch him staring.

"Ready?" she asked, standing back up. He nodded and stood up, taking John by his left hand while Amy took his right. Together the little family slowly made their way down to the water. John found the water absolutely fascinating. The closer they got the water's edge the more he leaned forward trying to free his hands from his parents'. They finally let go and let him play in the water at the water's edge until he was used to the taste of the salt water. They both knew how much John liked to splash during his bath and silently agreed to let John decide when he wanted to go further out into the water. As expected, John decided to splash in the water and Amy giggled when John sputtered and looked shocked, not expecting the water to be salty. He recovered quickly and within minutes was happily splashing around, ecstatic to watch his footprints continually being washed away by the ebb and flow of the ocean. He turned to his mother with a smile on his face.

"Mommy! Go bye bye!" he said while pointing to his most recent pair of footprints being washed away by the ocean. He started to wade out further and Ricky held John by the waist so the force of the water wouldn't knock him over. Ricky needn't have worried because John was enjoying being pushed and pulled by the water. He squirmed to go further out and Ricky and Amy waded out into the ocean a little further, laughing as they watched their son splashing about with glee. Ricky began floating around in a small circle with John lying on his chest and John squealed with delight. After about the third circle John looked around for Amy, who was standing in water a little higher than waist deep just smiling at her boys.

"Come, mommy!" he called and before Ricky could catch him, John swam off his chest in the direction of Amy and promptly went under. Amy's heart stopped and she shot forward towards John but Ricky had grabbed him and brought him back to the surface not two seconds after going under. John sputtered for a couple of seconds before he started laughing. Amy and Ricky both breathed a sigh of relief.

"Again!" They looked at their son in disbelief before looking at each other. They moved a little closer to shore and helped John doggie paddle back and forth between them instead, allowing him to briefly go under the water if he wanted to, which he did. After exactly four minutes of assisting John in going back and forth between them he figured out how to doggie paddle on his own, not going underwater once. To say his parents were surprised would be an understatement. Amy was the first to recover.

"You're swimming all by yourself, John! Aren't you just the smartest little boy ever!" she told her son with a smile. Ricky took in the sight of Amy smiling, happiness written all over her face, as she held out her arms underwater to receive their son, who was paddling towards her all on his own while laughing and seared the image into his memory. "Okay, buddy. Swim back to daddy." John turned himself around and swam towards his father, still laughing and smiling. Ricky held out his arms underwater as well and John swam right into them. Ricky scooped up his son and gave him a kiss on the cheek. John accepted the kiss but moments later he was squirming to get down and swim around some more. Ricky looked at Amy and saw her smiling back at him. They had one pretty awesome kid. Amy noticed the smell of a dirty diaper when John reached her again so she scooped him up.

"Someone needs a diaper change," she told Ricky and they headed back towards their blanket. As with their trip to the zoo, as soon as John realized they were leaving the water he started fussing. "I know, baby. But someone has a smelly diaper." Amy reached into Ricky's beach bag for John's beach towel and quickly patted him dry. Ricky quickly patted himself dry as well and then held out his hands for John so Amy could dry herself off. He grabbed a clean diaper and a small pack of wipes out of the bag along with a dry pair of shorts. Amy put her sandals and sundress back on, much to Ricky's dismay, and then held out her hands for John and the supplies Ricky was holding. While she went to change John's diaper Ricky took out a few beach toys he'd packed for John, two water bottles for he and Amy, and John's sippie cup, filled with water. When Amy returned with John she put his sun hat on his head and she and Ricky played in the sand with him for a little while. John had just as much fun scooping sand into his little orange bucket with his matching orange shovel as he did in the water. Amy watched her son contentedly as he scooped up some sand with his shovel and turned towards his daddy. Ricky wasn't sure what John wanted him to.

"Bowl, daddy," John said when he realized his daddy didn't know what he wanted him to do. Amy giggled and Ricky quickly cupped his hands. John smiled and dumped his shovel of sand into Ricky's hands. He took another shovel full of sand and walked closer to Amy. Having just watched Ricky Amy knew to cup her hands and John dumped the sand into her hands with a smile.

"Glad to know he likes to share," Ricky said with a chuckle, which Amy returned. A seagull landed nearby with a screech, catching John's attention.

"Birdy!" he said while pointing at it. He started to walk over to it but Amy, being closer to John and the bird, put her arm around his waist and pulled him to her.

"That's a dirty birdy, John. We don't touch dirty birdies, okay?"

"Okay." Amy sighed with relief, glad her son was still young enough that he accepted whatever she told him without too many questions or much of a fuss. She was not looking forward to those dreaded terrible two's. The bird quickly lost interest in them and flew away. John yawned, signaling that it was nap time. Ricky packed up their things and carried both bags back to the car while Amy carried John. She buckled him in his seat while he loaded the bags into the trunk. John was just starting to nod off when they arrived back at Ricky's apartment. Amy carried him inside and put him in his crib; he'd have a bath later.

"So how'd your talk with Adrian go?" Ricky asked her, bringing two more bottles of water, some apples slices, and a small bowl of peanut butter to the coffee table. Amy joined him on the couch.

"Alright I guess," she told him, eating an apple slice. Ricky smirked, remembering Ben's fear from earlier.

"It didn't come to blows or anything did it?" Amy turned to give him a look or irritation but he could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn't annoyed with him.

"No. We spent most of the time talking about what it's like to be a working teen mom still in high school." She took a drink from her water bottle.

"Feel free to tell me the conversation's none of my business but I'm curios. What kind of things did she ask you and what'd you tell her?" he asked, taking an apple slice from the plate and swiping it in the peanut butter.

"Well she basically asked me what it's like to be a working teen mom, like I said. I just told her a little about what it was like for me."

"So all the other stuff's dealt with and in the past?" Amy nodded.

"I told her that even though I showed up to share some of my experiences with her, we weren't friends and won't be 'til she changes her ways." Amy took an apple slice and swiped it in the peanut butter. Ricky nodded in understanding and agreement. "I've got a question for you."

"What's that?" Ricky replied, taking a drink from his water bottle.

"Do I need to dress up for this dinner tonight or are you taking me someplace casual?" Ricky smiled smugly.

"If you're tryna figure out where I'm taking you I'm not giving you any hints," he told her, the smile still on his face. Amy rolled her eyes.

"I figured it was gonna be a surprise when you didn't tell me where you wanted to take me. What I need to know is how dressed up do I need to be so I'm not under or overdressed for wherever we're going." Understanding came over Ricky's face but was quickly replaced by a smile.

"Just wear something nice. It doesn't have to be too dressy," he admitted. Amy nodded and ate another apple slice.

"So how was work?" Ricky chuckled, getting Amy's attention and she raised an eyebrow at his questioningly.

"Ben was jumpy all morning worrying about how your talk with Adrian was going. It was kinda irritating." Amy chuckled and shook her head.

"Ben really worries too much. If he's not careful he's gonna be a nervous wreck once his baby's here." Ricky laughed and nodded in agreement.

"So what'd you do last night?" Amy leaned her head slightly to the left and sighed contentedly.

"I took a bubble bath," she told him with a smile. Ricky started to imagine Amy naked in the bathtub but quickly stopped that train of thought and instead chuckled at the expression on Amy's face.

"What?"

"Sorry. It's just that you look awfully happy and nostalgic about a bubble bath." Amy tucked some of her hair behind her left ear and turned to face him.

"Taking a nice, long bubble bath is a rare treat for me." At Ricky's look of surprise she continued. "During the week after John's down for the night I've got things to tidy up or finish around the house before I can get ready for bed and by then it's usually kinda late to just relax in the tub for a while. But since I knew I'd be able to sleep in a little bit this morning I took the time to relax and unwind with a bubble bath. Everybody needs a little 'me' time." Ricky tried to hold back a laugh. "And just what is so funny now?"

"Sorry. It's just….you said a little 'me' time." Amy looked at him confused and her eyes told him she needed an explanation. Ricky actually blushed when he realized Amy expected him to spell it out and his blush made her determined to find out what he was talking about.

"And?"

"You remember. All the girls. No guys. The entire weekend." He was desperately trying not to say the word out loud and he inwardly breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Amy put all the pieces together.

"Not like that!" Amy had a look of disgust on her face but the fact she was blushing let him know she was more embarrassed than appalled that he'd thought she was doing **that** in the tub. Ricky couldn't help but laugh again.

"You're the one who said 'me' time."

"Yeah, not 'just say me' time." They caught each other's eye and shared a laugh. "Oh man," Amy said while leaning her head against the back of the couch. "So do you wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure. What do you wanna watch?" Ricky asked, getting up to browse his DVD collection. Amy came over to join him and looked over the titles. She smiled when she saw the movie she wanted to watch. She pulled it off the shelf and showed it to Ricky. He smiled when he saw it. Ricky popped in the movie while Amy got comfortable on the couch. Ricky joined her and hit play on the remote. He got more comfortable on the couch as the opening score of August Rush began. They watched the movie in companionable silence. They reached the part where August explains why he doesn't wanna be adopted when Ricky heard Amy sniffle. He glanced at her and saw her turn her head to wipe away a tear and paused the movie, concerned.

"What's wrong, Amy?" She shook her head.

"It's stupid."

"Not if you're crying about it. Talk to me." His tone wasn't harsh but Amy knew his tone meant he wasn't going to stop asking her until he got a straight answer.

"I just wonder if that could've been John."

"What?" he asked, having no clue what she was talking about.

"When Donovan and Leon backed out of the adoption I was afraid that I'd have to leave John with an adoption agency and hope he found a good home. I wonder if he would've held out hope that I'd come back for him or just hate me for giving him up." To say Ricky was floored would be the understatement of the year. To him this was a great movie with great music. Even though he'd seen it before John was born and had watched it several times since then, he never really gave that much thought to the fact August always knew his parents wanted him and that his mother never wanted to give up her baby, just like Amy hadn't wanted to. She was really crying now and Ricky didn't hesitate. He put down the remote and pulled Amy to him. He turned so his back was against the armrest. He bent his left leg and placed his right foot on the floor so Amy could lie against him. She laid on her side and cried into his shirt while Ricky wrapped her in his arms and just held her. When her tears quieted to sniffles she spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Ruining the movie. I really like it it's just that this kinda hit me out of the blue. I have no clue why." Ricky chuckled.

"I think you do." She arched her head back so she could look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Amy, you had a baby with a guy you barely knew and considered adoption simply because you wanted your baby to have the best life possible and didn't think you could give it to him, period, even though deep down what you really wanted was to keep your baby. I get why you can imagine John being in August's shoes. But John **isn't** August, Amy. Your baby boy is safe and sound and right here with you. Besides, you refused to accept anything less than an open adoption so even if John had been adopted you would still be a part of his life and he'd grow up understanding you didn't give him up for selfish reasons. He'd never hate you." He kissed her forehead and she laid back against his chest; Ricky continued to hold her. She was lost in thought for several minutes before she sat up. She gave Ricky a small smile.

"I think I'm okay to watch the rest of the movie." Amy sat up all the way and Ricky did likewise. He retrieved the remote and was about to hit the play button. "Ricky?" He gave her his full attention. She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." He smiled back.

"Anytime." He hit the play button. Amy snuggled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder and Ricky put this arm around her. They stayed like that for the rest of the movie. Surprisingly neither one of them felt awkward about it. Somehow it just felt…..right. The movie ended just as John woke up from his nap and decided to make his presence known.

"Mommy! Daddy!" he called out. Amy was carrying their snack dishes to the sink so Ricky went into the bedroom to get him. John needed a diaper change so Ricky decided to go ahead and give him a bath to clean up from the beach. After his bath Ricky and Amy spent a couple of hours just playing on the floor with John and his toys. Ricky and Amy each took a couple of pictures of their happy little boy with his mommy and daddy, respectively. Before they knew it 4:00 had rolled around and Ricky went into the bedroom to grab John's overnight bag. Amy began picking up the toys with John's 'help'. Ricky talked logistics about their dinner 'date' while they finished picking up John's toys.

"So we'll drop John at my mom's then I'll drop you off to shower and get all dolled up." He and Amy shared a brief smile before he continued. "I'll head back here and do the same then I'll come pick you up about 7:00."

"Sounds good."

"Ready to spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house, buddy?" Ricky asked his son while zipping up his jacket.

"Yeah!" Ricky chuckled because he figured John would've said that regardless of where he was going. He carried John downstairs, Amy walking ahead of him. He buckled John into his car seat and gave him a stuffed turtle to play with before climbing into the driver's seat and heading to his mom's. John happily babbled away in the backseat during the short drive. Ricky got out and carried John and his overnight bag to the door while Amy stayed in the car. Margaret heard him drive up and opened the door before he could knock on it.

"Give me my grandbaby," she said with a smile while holding out her arms for John. John reached for her as well and Ricky quickly deposited John into his mother's arms before handing her his overnight bag.

"Thanks again for doing this, mom."

"No problem. You kids just enjoy the night off." She turned to John. "Say bye bye, John," she told him while waving. John just smiled and waved as well. Ricky placed a kiss on his son's forehead and then headed back to the car. Margaret waved them off and then went back into the house. The drive over to Amy's house was mostly quiet; the only sounds in the car the ones coming from the smooth jazz station on the radio. When he pulled into the driveway Amy opened the door to climb out.

"See you in a couple hours," Ricky told her with a smile.

"See you in a bit," she replied with a smile of her own. Ricky waited until Amy had closed the kitchen door behind her before heading back to his apartment to get ready for his night out with her. _Please let everything go according to plan._


	34. His Heart's Keeper

Ricky jumped in the shower the second he closed the door of his apartment. He toweled himself off while walking into his bedroom to get dressed. He tossed the towel on the floor, making a mental note to pick it up later, and opened his closet. He laid out his outfit and started to get dressed. Back at Amy's house she had just stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a bath towel around her and headed back to her bedroom. _Nice but not too dressy, nice but not too dressy_ she said over and over in her head as she browsed through her closet for what to wear. She knew she couldn't spend a lot of time deciding because she still had to blow-dry and style her hair as well as do her makeup. She found the perfect dress and tossed it, still on its hanger, onto the bed and made a beeline for her dresser to select makeup colors to compliment it while deciding what she wanted to do with her hair. She glanced at her alarm clock and sighed with relief when she found that it was only 5:20; she still had plenty of time to finish getting ready.

Back at his apartment Ricky gave himself a once-over in the mirror. He had chosen to wear a crimson, long sleeved, button-up shirt with a red tie in a slightly lighter shade with black slacks. He gave his black suit jacket a quick tug to straighten it. He's put on a slight amount of Calvin Klein Eternity cologne and brushed a few strands of hair that had decided to misbehave. He checked his watch and saw that it was 6:30. He put on black dress shoes, grabbed a small giftwrapped present from the coffee table, grabbed his keys and phone, and headed to Amy's. He decided to change things up and ring the front doorbell instead of going up to the kitchen door. Ashley opened the door carrying Robbie on her hip.

"Hi!" Robbie greeted him happily. Ricky and Ashley both smiled at him.

"Hey little man." Ashley stepped aside so Ricky could enter and then closed the door.

"Amy will be done in a minute or two," Ashley informed him. He nodded and headed into the living room to wait on the couch while Ashley headed back to the kitchen. Ricky heard footsteps a few moments later and turned to see Amy dressed in a black trench coat that went down to her shins. Since he didn't see any dressy material he figured her dress was shorter than the coat but the coat didn't give him any clue as to what it looked like. Her hair was styled in large, loose curls that cascaded around her with some strands of hair pulled back at the sides and held together in the back by a hair clip that, not surprisingly, had a large butterfly on it. She had earrings that resembled strands of tinsel in her ears and was wearing makeup that brought out the color of her eyes. She was carrying a small, black clutch purse. Ricky was drawn to her dark red lipstick, mainly because she was smiling at him. He stood up from the couch and smiled back.

"Ready?" he asked her, walking to the front door. He opened it for her when she nodded. He walked her to his car but stopped and turned to face her when they reached it. "I want it to be a surprise. So….." he paused to take a scarf out of the inner pocket of his suit jacket. Amy arched an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look when she saw what he was holding. He smiled at her and made a hand motion signaling she needed to turn around. She shrugged and decided to play along. She turned around and let Ricky blindfold her. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked her once the blindfold was on. He wasn't holding up any fingers and wanted to make sure the blindfold was snug enough.

"Two," Amy replied. Satisfied she couldn't see, Ricky carefully opened the car door and guided her into her seat. He closed her door while she felt around for her seatbelt and buckled herself in. He jogged around to the driver's side with a smile on his face and got in. Ricky started the car and turned up their favorite smooth jazz station. Amy relaxed into her seat to enjoy the ride. "So how far away is this place?" she asked as a way to make conversation. Ricky chuckled.

"It's a little bit of a drive. Just relax." Amy did as he instructed. Twenty-five minutes later Ricky pulled into a restaurant parking lot and turned off the engine. Amy reached up to undo the blindfold but Ricky grabbed her hand to stop her. "Not yet." He got out of the car and went around to her side to help her out of the car and Amy couldn't help but giggle at how mysterious Ricky was being. Once she was standing he shut her door and locked the car. He stood behind her and put one arm around her waist to guide her into the restaurant. Amy suddenly felt warmed as they entered the restaurant and the front door closed behind them. Amy's nostrils were assaulted by the aroma of a type of cuisine she couldn't place. Ricky moved to stand behind her and began to untie the blindfold. He spoke just before he lowered it. "Amy, welcome to Butterfly Bonanza." The blindfold fell away and Amy gasped in amazement.

They were standing in a foyer that had dark mahogany wood floors and a high vaulted ceiling that was covered with hand painted butterflies. Ricky smiled at Amy's face and his heart warmed at the sight. She had the same expression of childlike wonder and joy that she'd had at the zoo. He put his hand on the small of her back and ushered her towards the hostess stand. The gentleman behind the counter smiled at them.

"Name?"

"Underwood," Ricky told him. He quickly scanned the computer screen in front of him and nodded when he found the reservation. He picked up two menus.

"Right this way please, Mr. Underwood." Ricky and Amy followed their hostess into the dining room and Amy stopped in her tracks and gasped again when she saw it, causing their hostess to turn and face her to make sure everything was alright. He smiled when he saw Amy's face. _Happens every time_. He continued walking towards their table and Ricky had to guide Amy because she kept staring at the ceiling. The ceiling of the dining room was actually a large mesh net that was draped around metal supports to make the mesh form a series of intersecting barrel vaults over the entire space. And above the mesh were hundreds of hanging flower pots filled with different types of flowers that were playing host to hundreds of live butterflies. They arrived at their table, Amy oblivious to the trip they'd just made across the dining room to their seats, her attention still focused on the ceiling.

"Your waiter will be with you shortly," their hostess informed them and Ricky nodded in acknowledgement before he walked away. Ricky turned to look at Amy and found she was still staring at the ceiling. He couldn't help but chuckle.

"So do you like it?" he asked her with a smile. She lowered her eyes to look at him and he was startled to see tears forming in them. He was about to say something when she suddenly threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. The force of her hug made him take a step backwards before he could hug her back. She pulled back to face him.

"I love it. Thank you, Ricky. This place is perfect."

"Glad you like it." They shared a smile before Ricky removed his jacket and placed it on the back of his chair while Amy unbuttoned and removed her trench coat. When she did Ricky's mouth fell open and he openly stared at her. Amy was wearing a midnight blue dress that went down to her knees. The top was form fitting from the waist up and flared out at the bottom. Instead of regular straps the dress had two pieces of material that crisscrossed in the front and then tied together at the base of Amy's neck, leaving plenty of material to drape down her back once a bow had been made. The top gave the appearance that Amy was wearing a pushup bra. _She looked hot today in that bikini but she's gorgeous in that dress_. Amy cocked her head a little to the left and smiled at him.

"Is this nice enough," she asked him teasingly. All he could do was nod. She sat down in her chair and Ricky simply mimicked her movement. Amy suspected that had he not pulled out his chair before removing his jacket he would've landed on the floor just then because Ricky was still staring at her and not paying attention to what he was doing. She laughed and reached over to close his mouth. "You'll catch flies like that," she told him with a wink. Her wink seemed to bring him out of his daze and he blinked before smiling at her. They opened their menus and began browsing the appetizers.

"So how'd you find this place? I didn't even know a place like this existed."

"A lot of Google searching. I knew that whatever I did to apologize needed to include butterflies so I searched for places all over the city, and nearby ones, for businesses or activities involving butterflies. I found this place by chance when a restaurant review came up in one of my searches." He looked up from his menu. "So? How do you like my apology so far?" he asked her teasingly. Amy giggled.

"So far so good."

"So do you want any appetizers?" Amy shook her head.

"I'm kinda hungry so I'll just skip to the main course."

"Me too." Their waiter arrived to take their drink order. Ricky ordered a soda and Amy ordered an iced tea. They asked for a few more minutes to decide what they wanted to eat. Amy was puzzled as she browsed the menu.

"Ricky?"

"Yeah?"

"What's up with this place?"

"What do you mean?"

"They've got fancy dinners from like, all over the world plus all the stuff you can get at like, a Denny's or someplace but none of it's too pricey. So why the need for reservations?" she asked, looking up from her menu. Ricky gave her a small smile.

"The butterflies." At her confused expression he explained. "The couple who opened and owns this place love to cook and have traveled all over. Their favorite trip was one they took to the Amazon rainforest where the wife, who loves butterflies as much as you do, got to see thousands of different kinds. She and hubby wanted a restaurant that served home cooked meals plus good food from around the world and they made butterflies their decoration theme. People loved coming for the butterflies so much they had to start requiring reservations 'cuz at closing time they kept ending up with a long line of people who still wanted to eat here."

"So how long did it take you to get a reservation here?"

"Well I found the place the day after our trip to the zoo and I made a reservation then." Amy smiled at Ricky's efforts to plan this for her and went back to browsing her menu; Ricky did the same. Their waiter arrived with their drinks and took their orders. Ricky ordered the country fried steak dinner while Amy ordered the shrimp pasta meal.

"So," Ricky began once their waiter had walked away. "Still nervous about school starting?" Amy shook her head.

"Not anymore. I know who's my friend and who's not and I've gotten so use to avoiding drama that I honestly don't think the day-to-day school nonsense will bother me. Have you given any more thought to college?" Ricky shrugged his shoulder.

"I don't know. I have no clue what I wanna do for the rest of my life except work at the butcher shop and be there for you and John."

"Well why not get a business degree? I don't know what one **does** exactly with a business degree but why not learn more about how businesses work. Who knows? Maybe you'd get promoted or something if you had that degree." Ricky absorbed her suggestion and thought about it for a moment and then smiled. "What?"

"Maybe I need to spend some time Googling what to do with a business degree." They shared a smile briefly. "What do you wanna do after college? I know you said you wanted to be a teacher but what grade do you wanna teach?"

"Either eighth or ninth."

"Why those two?" Amy chuckled.

"You remember how shy and insecure I was as a freshman?" Ricky's spirits sank a little and it was evident in his voice.

"Yeah." Amy reached over and squeezed his hand; he turned his hand over to hold hers and she let him.

"The unexpected pregnancy and all that aside, I wasn't sure of myself and didn't know how to have a backbone because I hadn't found my voice yet." Ricky looked at her confused and she smiled. "At the music program I learned that I'm still allowed to be a human being even though I'm a teen mom."

"You lost me."

"Those of us whose parents didn't kick them out or disown them feel like we're not allowed to complain about the frustrations or stress of motherhood and we have to be perfect little angels for the rest of our lives to make up for the one huge lapse in judgment we had. Finding out that it's okay to speak up for myself and voice my thoughts, feelings and emotions was liberating for me, Ricky, and I wished that someone had told me that sooner, that someone had helped me find my voice a lot sooner. I wanna help kids find their voice before they enter high school so they can stand up for themselves or during their freshman year so they have an easier time getting through the rest of high school, even if I'm only able to help them find their voice by putting it on paper." Ricky smiled at Amy proudly and then kissed her hand.

"You're amazing you know that."

"What do you mean?"

"It takes a special kind of person to wanna take their life experiences and use them to help someone else. You're gonna be a great English teacher someday, Amy." They shared a smile just as their meals arrived. They were both pretty hungry because they silently started eating their meals. Ricky had never had a country fried steak that was as tender and flavorful as the one he was eating and Amy had never tasted such tasty shrimp or a creamier pasta sauce. They were both halfway through their meals before they began chatting again. They talked about how much fun John had had at the beach that afternoon and how surprised they both were when he took to swimming like a fish to water.

"I can't believe our little toddler figured out how to doggie paddle. Maybe we should check and see what kinds of swimming classes for little kids the youth center offers." Ricky nodded in agreement.

"And if we don't find anything or one that works with our schedules we can always take him to the pool on the weekends, or back to the beach." Amy smiled as she twirled another forkful of pasta.

"He'd like that. He never ceases to amaze me."

"Me either," Ricky replied, eating a forkful of his steamed vegetables and washing it down with some of his soda.

"Then again, that could just be because I've never been a mom before. I'm sure my next kid won't surprise me as much."

"So you **do** want more kids someday," Ricky stated, remembering their conversation in New York. Amy shrugged and nodded as she ate a bite of her salad.

"Not anytime soon but yeah, someday. Do you want more kids someday?" _Only with you._

"Someday, preferably after college when I'm married."

"So you're going to college now?" Amy asked with a triumphant smile. Ricky chuckled.

"Okay, I admit. I kinda like your suggestion of a business degree. I don't know if it'll get me a raise but I guess I'll give college a shot." Amy had an 'I told you so' look in her eyes. "And **please** don't say I told you so."

"Wasn't gonna," Amy replied in a singsong voice. Ricky gave her an 'I don't believe you' look but let it slide. They were just about finished with their meal so Ricky stopped their waiter when he went past their table again and asked for the check. They had finished their meals and put their coats back on when the waiter arrived with the check. Ricky put his debit card inside and he and Amy watched the butterflies and chatted about them until he returned. Ricky quickly figured the tip and signed the receipt. Amy linked her left arm with his right as they made their way out of the restaurant. He stopped just before they reached the front door and gave her a mischievous smile as he once again removed the scarf from his jacket pocket. "I have to be blindfolded on the way **home**?" she asked him teasingly.

"Who said we were going home?" Amy gave him a shocked and confused look.

"We're done with dinner. Why **wouldn't** we be heading home?" she stated logically. Ricky just shook his head while smiling at her. She sighed and turned around so Ricky could blindfold her again.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Seriously, Ricky?" He chuckled and once again guided her out of the restaurant and back into the passenger seat of his car. He climbed into the driver's side and carefully backed out of the parking lot. "What are you up to?" she asked him, crossing her arms.

"We had dinner and now we're gonna go have dessert," he told her simply. Amy just sat back and listened to the radio, trying to guess where they could be going.

"Are we getting ice cream?"

"No, why?"

"Just wondering." She was silent for several moments. "Are we getting cake of some kind?" Ricky laughed.

"It's a surprise, Amy; stop trying to guess. I know you don't like surprises but I give you my word you'll like this one."

"Says you." He grinned. They pulled up to their destination several minutes later and Ricky turned off the car; Amy didn't make a move to get out of the car or un-blindfold herself. Ricky quickly came over to her door and helped her out just as before. He guided her to their destination and stopped near the entrance. Ricky removed the blindfold without a word and Amy bust out laughing; he'd brought her to the Dairy Shack. She turned to him and gave him another hug and kiss on the cheek. "You're ridiculous and cheesy you know that?" she said with laughter. Ricky just smiled back at her and nodded his head.

"Yep." He took her hand and they walked inside, getting a few stares as patrons wondered why two people dressed up for a fancy event were eating at the Dairy Shack. They walked up to the counter to order shakes. Even though this wasn't their neighborhood Dairy Shack Amy knew she'd love her chocolate chip cookie dough shake. Ricky paid for their dessert and handed Amy hers. She started walking over to a booth but Ricky grabbed her hand and led her back outside. They walked back to his car and stopped just short of it. "Wait here," he told her, handing her his shake to hold for a moment. He unlocked the car and retrieved a beach bag from the trunk. He locked the car and walked back over to Amy, holding his hand out for his shake and offering no explanations. He offered her his elbow and she took it, albeit questioningly, and Ricky started leading her towards the nearby beach. He selected a spot he liked and stopped. He handed his shake back to Amy and opened the bag. He took out a blanket large enough for the two of them to lie down on comfortably and a small electric lantern. He set the bag on the blanket and then took his shake back from Amy so he could help her sit down before he joined her. Ricky turned on the lantern and looked at Amy with a serious expression on his face.

"What is it Ricky?" she asked once the lantern illuminated his face.

"I wanna talk to you about something, Amy."

"Okay."

"We've been hanging out for almost two months now and we've become best friends, right?"

"Yes." Ricky's heart started beating faster. _It's now or never. __**Please**__ let her feel the same._

"Do you remember what we talked about when we agreed we needed to hang out and become friends?" Amy's heart began to beat faster. _I hope he's talking about what I think he is._ She needed to make sure before she revealed her romantic feelings for him though.

"Yes." She wasn't going to be the first to say it.

"Well….it turns out….I'm not over band camp," he said cautiously, not sure of what Amy's reaction was gonna be. His heart continued its feverish pace when he saw her smiling back at him.

"Me either." It took a moment for Ricky's brain to realize Amy had just admitted she had romantic feelings for him but when it did his face broke out into a grin. He flopped back on the blanket so he was lying on his back, the grin never leaving his face. Amy stretched out so she was lying next to him propped up on her right elbow. He turned to look at her.

"I was driving myself crazy the past few days trying not to say anything yet." Amy giggled.

"Why didn't you wanna say anything yet?" The smile vanished

"I was afraid you might not feel the same way about me yet and I didn't wanna ruin our friendship." Amy bridged the small gap of space between them and kissed his forehead.

"I felt the same way." Amy smirked when she saw surprise spread across his face. "I was prepared to be your best friend indefinitely because I didn't wanna tell you that now I was also in love with you, spook you if you weren't ready to be in a romantic relationship with me, and then lose you as a friend, possibly forever." Ricky smirked at her admission.

"So much for communication." Amy gave his a questioning look. "We started this summer admitting we didn't know how the other felt about a lot of things because we never bothered to talk about them. Then when we fell in love with each other we were too afraid of messing up what we already had to talk about it." Amy realized the irony of the situation and started laughing, Ricky joining her. When their laughter subsided Ricky sat up and retrieved a small wrapped gift from the beach bag and handed it to Amy. She sat up and took it from him. She pulled on the ends of the bow and then began unwrapping it. Inside was a small box that had the name of what Amy assumed was a jewelry store. She opened it to reveal a heart shaped locket. She opened it and began to tear up when she saw what was inside. The left side of the locket contained a picture of her and John from their trip to the Butterfly Pavilion. She was holding John, smiling, and showing him a butterfly that had landed on her hand; John was reaching out in wonder to touch it. The right side contained a picture of Ricky leaning against the side of a building with his signature smirk on his face. Ricky silently watched her look at both pictures before speaking. "Turn it over." She did so and two tears actually fell, one from each eye. The back of the locket contained an inscription:

_To Amy_

_My heart's keeper_

_Ricky_

Amy looked at Ricky and he smiled as he gently took the locket from her. He unclasped it and Amy turned her back towards him and lifted her hair so he could place the locket around her neck.

"Amy, I honestly can't say **when** I fell in love with you because it happened so gradually. I woke up one day and realized that my life was incomplete without you in it and I couldn't explain why," he told her as he placed the locket around her neck and closed the clasp, his task made a little more difficult because Amy's neck was a little too far away from the lantern. "It hit me while you were in New York that you were more amazing than I realized and I only hoped that someday you would forgive me for taking you for granted and treating you badly." Amy turned around to face him and he took both of her hands in his. "Our friendship started at band camp, Amy. I knew I wanted to get to know you better as we were talking that night and unfortunately it took me until this summer to make an effort to do so," he admitted, staring down at her hands in his. He looked her in the eye and smiled. "I first loved you when I held John for the first time; I couldn't help but love the woman who'd given me such an amazing gift. And when I did get to know you better I couldn't help but fall in love with you too. I love you dearly, Amy, and I'm also deeply in love with you. I'm ready to be in a monogamous relationship with you." Several more tears fell from Amy's eyes as she smiled at Ricky. It was her turn to declare her love for him.

"Ricky, it hit me out of the blue too that I was in love with you." She smiled remembering the night she'd made that discovery. "For the past couple of weeks every time I see your name on my caller ID I get butterflies in my stomach and my happiness level shoots through the roof. Just the thought that I'm going to see you again makes me feel happy and giggly. You're the first guy I've ever felt this way about, Ricky, and it doesn't scare me one little bit. I'm ready to be in a monogamous relationship with you too." Ricky bridged the small space between them and kissed her. If Amy hadn't been reclining on the blanket she would've fallen over because her knees went weak and her head started spinning. Her heart started beating faster and the smell of Ricky's cologne became seared into her memory. Ricky had kissed her before but never like this. They had become so close that they could communicate nonverbally and Ricky was nonverbally shouting his love for her from the rooftops with his lips. Amy heard him loud and clear and shouted back. Ricky's head was spinning and he'd never felt so alive. He couldn't think straight, all he could do was focus on Amy. The warmth and softness of her lips; the smell of a meadow of flowers, which he assumed was her shampoo; and what her lips were telling him. Sure he'd kissed her before but even back at band camp when he'd just liked her and in her bedroom when he was very much attracted to her it hadn't been this sweet, this romantic, this loving, this….right! Somehow kissing this woman just felt right.

They mutually ended the kiss when oxygen became a necessity. They stared into each other's eyes and saw all the answers they needed reflected there. Ricky saw just how deeply and truly Amy was in love with him in her eyes and she saw the same reflected in his. For the first time in both of their lives they'd found someone they could give their heart too and knew it would always be safe in their hands. Ricky glanced down at Amy's hands still in his and noticed a cup nearby. It dawned on him that they'd completely forgotten about their shakes and he started to chuckle. He released Amy's hand and picked up his shake. Amy laughed and looked around for her own. They sat side by side, Amy's head resting on Ricky's shoulder and his left arm around her, and sipped their slightly melted shakes in companionable silence while they watched and listened to the ocean crashing against the beach. An older couple who lived nearby was out for a late night stroll and were walking further up the beach in silence, hand in hand. The clouds had cleared and the full moon was now illuminating the beach. The woman spotted Amy and Ricky sitting on a blanket and smiled. She got her husband's attention and pointed to them. He chuckled and released his wife's hand to put this arm around her.

"Oh, young love," he said with a smile. His wife put her arm around his waist and he kissed the top of her head.

"It's a beautiful thing," she agreed, turning her head to look up at her husband. He leaned down to kiss her briefly.

"Yes it is," he agreed. They continued walking and left the young couple undisturbed. Ricky and Amy hadn't seen them, lost in their own little world.


	35. Summer's End

Adrian and Ben spent the last two weeks of the summer at each other's houses talking about their baby and working out systems for things that they both could agree on. Talking through their worries and fears with each other helped erase most of them and what worries or fears they couldn't soothe they talked to their parents about. Adrian and Ben both felt much calmer about their impending parenthood now that they had a plan. They found out the sex of their baby at their last ultrasound and decided that their daughter would be named Mercy, have Ben's last name, and they would adopt the same custody arrangement Ricky and Amy had, only theirs wouldn't be legally binding. Their daughter would stay with Adrian during the week while Ben came over after work to spend time with her and then she would stay at Ben's house over the weekend. Leo had offered to pay for a nanny to take care of Mercy during the school day so they didn't have to worry about child care during the week, just during Saturday morning while Ben was at work. Adrian knew she needed a job so she could take care of her daughter and she found a part time job at a used book store. She explained her situation to her boss and the woman who owned the store, having raised kids of her own, agreed to give Adrian strictly Saturday and Sunday shifts. With their plans, jobs and daycare in place Adrian **knew** she and Ben could really make co-parenting work. They'd become closer as friends but only time would tell if that friendship could blossom into something more.

Grace had spent the last two weeks of the summer continuing to work on herself and her friendships. She started going back to church when she got back from Med Camp. She knew she'd gotten off track somewhere along the way and decided to go back to what she knew: her faith and religious moral compass. Grace rediscovered a sense of peace once she remembered that just because she can't see the bigger picture of life doesn't mean there isn't one. She'd had some ups and downs in life and the game of love but she decided she needed to start looking at life's challenges as lessons to learn and opportunities to become a better person. She continued renewing her faith over the summer and she finally felt like she'd become centered and grounded again, and it helped her and Grant become closer. Grace had made a startling discovery: she learned that intimacy with someone was **not** synonymous with being sexually active. Her willingness to open her heart to Grant gave him the courage to do the same and they'd become closer than she and Jack ever had been; they even spent time having religious discussions on some of their dates.

Madison had no choice but to stay away from Jack thanks to her dad so she spent a lot of time moping over the summer. However, over the last two weeks she kept crossing paths with a guy who worked at another stand in the food court and they had started to hang out and talk on their breaks. It turned out that this guy, Justin, went to Grant High too but for some reason they had never crossed paths. He asked her out the week before school started and she told him she'd have to get her dad's permission. Her dad insisted he come over and meet with him and Justin did. He spoke with Madison's dad for a while and then he left. He made a good impression and didn't rub her dad the wrong way so he gave Madison permission to date him, so long as she promised not to have sex with him anytime soon, and by **soon** he meant until **after** they'd graduated from college.

Lauren hadn't been allowed to see Jesse most of the summer, as punishment for her and Madison's little sleepover, but during the last two weeks they'd been allowed to date again. Since they hadn't been dating long before they were forced to be separated, they spent most of the last two weeks getting reacquainted and, like her two best friends, she was very much in the lovey, dovey, starry-eyed phase of her relationship. Even so, she made sure to still find time to hang out with her best friends for some girl time.

Jack, having no one to date and being busy with football most of every day, spent a lot of time in reflection. He'd spent a lot of time during the summer thinking about his relationship with Grace and how and why he'd screwed it all up. He thought about how and why he started cheating on Grace with Madison as well. He dissected both of those past relationships and examined his feelings for both young women. Jack found that at the end of the day he cared deeply about both of them, he just wasn't sure which one he wanted to be with more, **and** if he wanted a relationship that **didn't** include sex. He knew right from wrong and knew that he shouldn't be with either Grace or Madison until he was sure how he felt for each of them and what kind of relationship he actually wanted with them. He cared about them both too much not to be friends with them but he decided to take a break from dating and just focus on his schoolwork and football when school started until he could get his head straight.

Ricky and Amy were confusing the daylights out of people they encountered during the last two weeks of the summer and making their parents giggle at their behavior. At first glance they appeared to be two teenagers solidly in the lovey-dovey, starry-eyed phase of their relationship. The love was written all over their faces and people could see how in love they were from the way they acted around each other and how much they kissed and touched each other. However, if you happened to overhear them having a conversation you'd think they'd been married for years. They'd gotten to know each other so well over the summer that they lovingly teased each other, talked about anything and everything, and were completely open and honest with each other, almost as though they'd been together so long there just weren't any more secrets to hide or facades to keep up. They continued their weekly dinners and Saturday family outings but their parents occasionally watched John so they could go out on a date. One of the new things about Amy that made Ricky constantly smile was the sight of the locket around her neck. Since the night he'd given it to her Amy had worn it every day. What he didn't know was that she only took it off long enough to shower before putting it right back on.


	36. Epilogue

Ricky and Amy went out to dinner at Butterfly Bonanza the Saturday before the start of the new school year and ended with a walk on the beach. It was a full moon and the sand was bathed in the moonlight. They walked hand in hand for a while with Amy resting her head on his shoulder. They sat down to watch and listen to the ocean for a while. Amy was sitting in front of Ricky leaning back against him while he wrapped her in his arms. After several silent minutes he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you more than all the sand, on all the beaches, all over the world," Ricky told her. Amy smiled and turned her head so she could look up at him.

"And I love you more than air." He smiled down at her and then leaned forward to give her a kiss. The same older couple that had seen them sitting there two weeks earlier was out for their nightly stroll and smiled when they spotted them.

"Those two are gonna make it," the husband said.

"What makes you say that?" his wife asked him. He chuckled and started humming a tune as he began walking again. The wife recognized it and smiled; he was about to sing their song.

_Well, there was no reason to believe she'd always be there  
But if you don't put faith in what you believe in  
It's getting you nowhere  
'Cos it hurts, you never let go  
Don't look down, just look up  
Cos she's always there behind you, just to remind you_

_Two hearts, living in just one mind_  
_You know we're two hearts living in just one mind_

_Well there's no easy way to, to understand it_  
_There's so much of my life in her, and it's like I'm blinded_  
_And it teaches you to never let go_  
_There's so much love you'll never know_  
_She can reach you no matter how far_  
_Wherever you are_

_Two hearts, living in just one mind_  
_Beating together till the end of time_  
_You know we're two hearts living in just one mind_  
_Together forever till the end of time_

_She knows (she knows)_  
_There'll always be a special place in my heart for her_  
_She knows, she knows, she knows_  
_Yeah, she knows (she knows)_  
_No matter how far apart we are_  
_She knows, I'm always right there beside her_

_We're two hearts, living in just one mind_  
_Beating together until the end of time_  
_You know we're two hearts living in just one mind_  
_Together forever till the end of time_

_You know we're two hearts living in just one mind_  
_Together forever, til the end of time_  
_Two hearts two hearts, living in just, just one mind_  
_Beating together til the end of time_

**THE END**

* * *

***NOTE: **The song is 'Two Hearts' by Phil Collins


End file.
